Gettin Laid: 2019

[markstanco 12577]

2 hours ago, immortal13 said:

She is so gorgeous and so fucking awesome in just about every way...

[Jhawk 1075]

2 hours ago, immortal13 said:

I've been divorced( just once) for almost 10 years and have had more than my fair share of quality tail since then, but only one that I even thought about something long term with. I came very close to marrying her a year or so ago, but things just went to shit after we got engaged. It was tough at first but eventually I felt like I dodged a bullet that things worked out the way they did. I had about decided I'm good with being a single dude from here on out.

So I met someone new on Dec 1 that I've been taking things very slow with, which is not my norm. She is so gorgeous and so fucking awesome in just about every way...I can actually see myself settling down with her for good....more than just thinking about it I must admit. I took her out dancing last night and she ended up staying the night at my house after we got back, which I wasn't expecting her to do. Holy fuck that was amazing. I might just have to hang up the bachelor life for good.

#tl/dr, got laid, might be in love

I remember the first time I had sex too.

[Underdog 28626]

1 hour ago, Jhawk said:

I remember the first time I had sex too.

Did your dad take you out to buy your favorite toy so that you wouldn’t tell mom? 

[Telegraph_it 3357]

Vacation sex really is better than just normal, at home, sex. 

[Doc Reeves 6434]

Careful immortal, now is time they strike...

[immortal13 4059]

3 hours ago, Jhawk said:

I remember the first time I had sex too.

Your mom doesn't count

[immortal13 4059]

imgur

[South Austin 52494]

2 hours ago, Telegraph_it said:

Vacation sex really is better than just normal, at home, sex. 

Yes, being alone with my wife and no kids around to cockblock the moment does wonders for the libido.

[General Specific 3260]

Your mom doesn't count

Everyone else counted her!

[General Specific 3260]

Careful immortal, now is time they strike...

So true. If it floats, flys or fucks, rent it!

[Underdog 28626]

13 minutes ago, South Austin said:

Yes, being alone with my wife and no kids around to cockblock the moment does wonders for the libido.

It just seems the wives let all inhibitions go when on vacation.  

[Sbbruin 21850]

26 minutes ago, immortal13 said:

 

 

[markstanco 12577]

3 hours ago, Underdog said:

Did your dad take you out to buy your favorite toy so that you wouldn’t tell mom? 

[Jhawk 1075]

Lot of rep to spread on this page.  Well done on the burns.

Also.... I'd pee in her butt.

[Zepol87 9185]

1 hour ago, immortal13 said:

 

 

Is this the cowboy bikini girl?

[immortal13 4059]

1 hour ago, Zepol87 said:

Is this the cowboy bikini girl?

No that was a brunette chick. I tried to post a couple of pics of her on that thread and I think they got pulled by the mods

[Armybrat 40841]

2 hours ago, Underdog said:

It just seems the wives let all inhibitions go when on vacation.  

Why, yes they do. 🤩

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

3 hours ago, Underdog said:

It just seems the wives let all inhibitions go when on vacation.  

...unless you're on vacation at the same time, amiright?

[immortal13 4059]

imgur

 

[markstanco 12577]

My 7 year old cockblock did cockblock things this morning as I was about to enter.

[NWBuck 8557]

5 minutes ago, markstanco said:

My 7 year old cockblock did cockblock things this morning as I was about to enter.

The kid?? 

[markstanco 12577]

Yea that jpg makes total sense.

Try again.

[BigDHornfan 6547]

9 hours ago, markstanco said:

My 7 year old cockblock did cockblock things this morning as I was about to enter.

 

[Mo Horn 8834]

About 2 weeks ago my wife cracked a couple of ribs. Hurts to even turn over in bed.  Needless to say sex of any kind has been off the table. Hopefully she heals soon. 

[EE2B 1565]

My 7 year old cockblock did cockblock things this morning as I was about to enter.

My five year old and two year old specialize in this shit. I can’t wait until they get old enough I can lock their asses outside.

[mulletpelini 5211]

Damn cold last night so she wanted to cuddle.  She kept rubbing that ass on my dick so I felt inclined to rub the ass with my dick.

[Humpy 112]

So rubbing is the new fucking?

[mulletpelini 5211]

Rubbing is fucking, Cole

[Humpy 112]

Dry humping for the win then?

[mulletpelini 5211]

Hey as long as I get off....

[Archer 474]

[RoundRobin 828]

1 hour ago, Mo Horn said:

About 2 weeks ago my wife cracked a couple of ribs. Hurts to even turn over in bed.  Needless to say sex of any kind has been off the table. Hopefully she heals soon. 

Sorry, dude. Didn’t realize I was deep enough to crack ribs. I’ll be more careful next time. 

[mulletpelini 5211]

Crush them guts

[immortal13 4059]

imgur

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

You've posted 3 pics of her since the lay heard around the world last week. Pedestal. Nice knowing you.

[Thatguy 8698]

On 1/18/2019 at 11:04 AM, Jhawk said:

I remember the first time I had sex too.

For reals....too much feelings in there. Did he hit or not?

[Jhawk 1075]

1 hour ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

You've posted 3 pics of her since the lay heard around the world last week. Pedestal. Nice knowing you.

I’m going to go ahead and say that immortal has left the game. 

Leads me to a question. How many here only have 1/4th or 1/8th the shit they should have because of divorce?

Edited January 21, 2019 by Jhawk

[Incredulity 11669]

14 hours ago, Mo Horn said:

About 2 weeks ago my wife cracked a couple of ribs. Hurts to even turn over in bed.  Needless to say sex of any kind has been off the table. Hopefully she heals soon. 

Congratulations, Mr. Bader-Ginsburg.

[NWBuck 8557]

3 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

You've posted 3 pics of her since the lay heard around the world last week. Pedestal. Nice knowing you.

And none in the forum that matters 

[immortal13 4059]

7 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

You've posted 3 pics of her since the lay heard around the world last week. Pedestal. Nice knowing you.

Are you complaining? At least I abided by the rules, right?

[Armybrat 40841]

5 hours ago, Jhawk said:

I’m going to go ahead and say that immortal has left the game. 

Leads me to a question. How many here only have 1/4th or 1/8th the shit they should have because of divorce?

When my son was divorced in 1996, out of the kitchen gadgets all he got was the electric carving knife which had only one blade.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21906]

When my ex moved out she took half of the master bedroom drapes

[Buffsoldier 1895]

25 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

When my ex moved out she took half of the master bedroom drapes

Impressive.  Not cut-the-vacuum-cord-into-8"-pieces impressive.  But impressive.

[Jhawk 1075]

I can understand losing it all in one divorce. But if you were to lose half two or three times I would laugh my ass off. 

[Slacks 6819]

Wow.  She’s never turned me down. 

Wait... How wide watches you jack it?

White* people are awesome and weird...






*Don't care if you're not white.

[immortal13 4059]

5 hours ago, Armybrat said:

When my son was divorced in 1996, out of the kitchen gadgets all he got was the electric carving knife which had only one blade.

That's all he needed to take care of the problem

[mulletpelini 5211]

She took the lawn mower.  Never figured that one out.  Stupid bitch never mowed the lawn once in her worthless life.

[Homercles 10205]

[South Austin 52494]

So this is now the divorce thread, huh?

[futureman 22457]

did a quick scroll of both pages.  looks like immortal is the only degenerate in here not fucking a folded pillow covered in lubriderm.  the rest of you should post some goddamn pics.