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Gettin Laid: 2019

SquishMitten

By SquishMitten
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immortal13
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Underdog
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Did your dad take you out to buy your favorite toy so that you wouldn’t tell mom? 

immortal13
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futureman

futureman 22,517

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Jhawk said:

There it is... The guy who lost half to his first wife... doubled down and lost half of what was left to the second and maybe even tripled down and lost the remaining half of his 1/4th to his third wife.  Godspeed you love stricken idiot. 

my parents got divorced when I was 10.  my dad resented the whole process and said, word for word, “I’m never getting married again.”

he made it official with wife #4 in maui last year.  I’ve accepted I will receive nothing when he passes. 

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Walden Ponderer

Walden Ponderer 12,639

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, futureman said:

my parents got divorced when I was 10.  my dad resented the whole process and said, word for word, “I’m never getting married again.”

he made it official with wife #4 in maui last year.  I’ve accepted I will receive nothing when he passes. 

Still waiting on all those stepmom videos you ought to have made by now.

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Jhawk

Jhawk 1,075

Posted
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3 minutes ago, futureman said:

my parents got divorced when I was 10.  my dad resented the whole process and said, word for word, “I’m never getting married again.”

he made it official with wife #4 in maui last year.  I’ve accepted I will receive nothing when he passes. 

Fuck me.... The beatings will continue until morale improves I suppose.  By wife #2 I'd probably look for the divorced woman who is scorned as fuck and tell her "we can do everything together but we will not get married and we will not have kids" and just leave it at that.  Not a chance in hell I'd be in for round 2.  I'm not that fucking lonely even with all of my friends/family having kids and families.

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futureman

futureman 22,517

Posted
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4 minutes ago, Jhawk said:

Fuck me.... The beatings will continue until morale improves I suppose.  By wife #2 I'd probably look for the divorced woman who is scorned as fuck and tell her "we can do everything together but we will not get married and we will not have kids" and just leave it at that.  Not a chance in hell I'd be in for round 2.  I'm not that fucking lonely even with all of my friends/family having kids and families.

he’s 70 now.  she’s early 50s and loves the finer things.  I’m sure he’ll just ride this one out no matter how shitty it gets and then he’ll die and she’ll go through every penny in short order.  such is life.

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Jhawk

Jhawk 1,075

Posted
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36 minutes ago, futureman said:

he’s 70 now.  she’s early 50s and loves the finer things.  I’m sure he’ll just ride this one out no matter how shitty it gets and then he’ll die and she’ll go through every penny in short order.  such is life.

Or... she'll divorce his ass while she has a little bit of time to find the next guy.  If he's worth 7 figures and she has some rich side dick it'll be a better investment.

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Not a cat

Not a cat 5,672

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, Jhawk said:

There it is... The guy who lost half to his first wife... doubled down and lost half of what was left to the second and maybe even tripled down and lost the remaining half of his 1/4th to his third wife.  Godspeed you love stricken idiot. 

Just the one time.  Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, strike 3.

But between the 50% haircut and fronting living expenses for over a decade, I think I hit the 1/4 threshold pretty easily.    

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Pescado_Rojo

Pescado_Rojo 19,427

Posted
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The Eagle landed at the Rojo household over the weekend. Kids went to Nana and Grandad's, and Mrs Rojo and I went to a nice dinner and then walked down to a bar to meet some of our neighbor friends. Mrs Rojo had a few gin & tonics, and we were home with my tongue in her ass by 10:00. Even got a little morning leg. Pretty nice weekend at the Rojo house. 

 

On the divorce question...my old man has been married and divorced 5 times. He's been a professional layabout most of his non-incarcerated adult life, so he probably came out ahead each time. 

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EE2B

EE2B 1,565

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Posted

Jesus Christ is that the fucking truth. My five year old is so deep in her mothers ass we can’t talk without her milling around. I love her but sometimes I would like to give her a mild sedative so she will lay down somewhere and be still.

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Hate

Hate 20,130

Posted
Posted

Do your kids not have regular bedtimes? Put the younger ones to bed by 8 and the older ones to bed by 9. Teenagers can go their rooms or get lost in some other way. That gives you the five minutes you need to get your nut and still get to bed at a decent time.

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Bullneck

Bullneck 19,192

Posted
Posted
On 1/7/2019 at 11:27 AM, Jhawk said:

Met up with a gal on saturday night after a round  of golf and the KU game.  She was already a little drunk when I met up with her and another couple (who she randomly met at a bar but wanted to hang with).  Get there and get 3 drinks in me and she being rude as fuck to everyone in the place.  I say "fuck it she's just drunk."  I toss her in the car and we head to a mexican joint for some food.  When we get there she immediately goes to the bathroom while I sit at the bar and some British chick starts hitting on me.  75% of me wanted to tell the brit that my date was in the bathroom but I'll leave with you if we go right now but I refrained.  Date gets back, decides she wants sushi.  In the car we go.  Get sushi, she decides she wants it to go and that we should eat it after fucking at my house.  I'm cool with that but she is a bitch.  We get back to my house and she bags on everything all the way to my apartment and then bags on my apartment the second we walk through the door.  Specifically, she tried to rip down a 8' x 12' american flag I have.  Nope.  I told her to get the fuck out even going as far to threaten that I'm calling the cops.  I get her out of my apartment and start walking to the elevator to show her out.  She isn't behind me.  I go back and she says she can wait outside my door... No bitch.  You'll wait outside the building for your uber.

Let her out the front door, ran to my car out the back and went back to the mexican place to find the brit.  No luck.  Got smashed at the casino.

What in the fuck is up with drunk women being cunts?

Reading this makes me doubt your previous 15 chicks post.

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mulletpelini

mulletpelini 5,214

Posted
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2 hours ago, Hate said:

Do your kids not have regular bedtimes? Put the younger ones to bed by 8 and the older ones to bed by 9. Teenagers can go their rooms or get lost in some other way. That gives you the five minutes you need to get your nut and still get to bed at a decent time.

5 minutes?  Are you some type of superhero?

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Jkwellborn

Jkwellborn 6,717

Posted
Posted
Jesus Christ is that the fucking truth. My five year old is so deep in her mothers ass we can’t talk without her milling around. I love her but sometimes I would like to give her a mild sedative so she will lay down somewhere and be still.

It doesn’t get better for a while. My little girl is 8.5 and heaven forbid the wife and I try to talk about something the kids don’t need to hear. She will follow us around and sit in there with us. If she does leave, she’s liable to sit right outside the door. Nosy ass.
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Sbbruin

Sbbruin 21,865

Posted
Posted
On 1/28/2019 at 10:35 AM, Whatever said:

Time to check in.  After a dry spell to start 2019 (23 days no action), I got lucky on Thurs, Fri & last night.  The Mrs. actually initiated it on Thurs, which was a gotdam miracle.

Probably done until May or some shit, but it won't keep me from trying.

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Droopy

Droopy 2,626

Posted
Posted (edited)

Ive been thinking of starting a new thread, but will post this here for now. 

The wife is going through some sort of change, and has become insatiable in bed. It's actually been going on for about 2 years now. We fuck about 3 times a week and do oral outside of that at least 2 days. Its like having my own living sex doll. Shes into just about every suggestion for sex. Weve bought toys, clothes, sex gear, whips, ass plugs, vibrators, etc... any hole, any  location shes into it. In the car, covered back porch, balcony, she's a voyeur . Shes lost weight and is most likely going through a mid life crisis sort of deal, and has never been into sex really. Shes a teacher and has always been shy, but shes broken out of her shell and onto my junk like you wouldn't  believe. Ive got pics but doubt i can put them on here, but may start a thread if i can get access to the new NSAA.

Ps, the plugs and shit are for her ass not mine, although a tongue is  nice from time to time.

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