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2019 Texas Football Season - "#8 Go Fuck Yourself Bitch"

Xcalibur

By Xcalibur
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Junior Miller
Junior Miller

Brilliant. Sign letter of intent and transfer to Texas with zero intention of ever playing a game. Sit out year. Transfer back to USC. Sit out year. Play one bad ass season and go pro with almost zero

Junior Miller
Junior Miller

1996 and 2007 we're much different times than Jan 20, 2017 to today.  The gulf in culture is far more pronounced and cultural battle lines much more clear today.  All of you sensitive rednecks ca

Harry Ellis
Harry Ellis
SydneyCarton

SydneyCarton 48203

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, satyanash said:

Dude was probably just looking for a hot take. But I don't think it's unreasonable to see Texas finishing at 8-4 this year, which would put us right on the fringe of being ranked. 

 

1 hour ago, satyanash said:

LSU, blOU, two of TCU/Iowa State/OK St./Baylor. It's a completely reasonable prediction given the current state of the team. People just get worked up by $9.95-er KoolAid every offseason. 

I’ve gotta say man, posts like this honestly make me wonder why you even follow UT and college football. I mean, what’s the fucking point for you? Living in a perpetually dark cave with no hope, optimism, or chance for success. It seems like a miserable, wretched existence. 

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Ricky Butler

Ricky Butler 2732

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, SydneyCarton said:

 

I’ve gotta say man, posts like this honestly make me wonder why you even follow UT and college football. I mean, what’s the fucking point for you? Living in a perpetually dark cave with no hope, optimism, or chance for success. It seems like a miserable, wretched existence. 

For real. All those teams he listed are just as likely to fuck up their seasons and underachieve as we are. But I'm convinced he's the most disciplined troll in internet history.

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Magus Ossis

Magus Ossis 2866

Posted
Posted (edited)

[satya 1/5/06] I hope the ncaa refs don’t take the “VY knee down TD” off the scoreboard from last night’s game and retroactively award the championship to USC [/satya 1/5/06]

Finish will be 13+ games, barring losing 7 or more of the first 12. “Finish” had not been clarified to mean pre-bowl before CTJ opined.

Sheesh. We’ve gone full surly. Never go full surly.

Edited by Magus Ossis
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satyanash

satyanash 14638

Posted
Posted
20 minutes ago, Machinator said:

Welcome to the world of satyanash.

Is there really that vast of a gulf between your 9-3 prediction and my 8-4 prediction? 

25 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

I’ve gotta say man, posts like this honestly make me wonder why you even follow UT and college football. I mean, what’s the fucking point for you? Living in a perpetually dark cave with no hope, optimism, or chance for success. It seems like a miserable, wretched existence. 

An 8-4 season isn't 'miserable'. It just represents a step back in line with the guys we're losing and the uncertainty at RB and LB. No one was 'miserable' when we were 10-3 in 2007 and Colt struggled coming off the heels of a promising 2006 season.

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Machinator

Machinator 32099

Posted
Posted
Just now, satyanash said:

Is there really that vast of a gulf between your 9-3 prediction and my 8-4 prediction? 

An 8-4 season isn't 'miserable'. It just represents a step back in line with the guys we're losing and the uncertainty at RB and LB. No one was 'miserable' when we were 10-3 in 2007 and Colt struggled coming off the heels of a promising 2006 season.

There's a huge gulf in the way you talk about the program and the way I do.

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HtownHorn

HtownHorn 14786

Posted
Posted
33 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

 

I’ve gotta say man, posts like this honestly make me wonder why you even follow UT and college football. I mean, what’s the fucking point for you? Living in a perpetually dark cave with no hope, optimism, or chance for success. It seems like a miserable, wretched existence. 

He lives in a world where only bad things happen to UT, so he can't ever see that bad things, like LSU's starter LT potentially liking weed more than football, happen to other teams on our schedule.

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ShaggyBevo RIP

ShaggyBevo RIP 3868

Posted
Posted (edited)
23 minutes ago, satyanash said:

Is there really that vast of a gulf between your 9-3 prediction and my 8-4 prediction? 

An 8-4 season isn't 'miserable'. It just represents a step back in line with the guys we're losing and the uncertainty at RB and LB. No one was 'miserable' when we were 10-3 in 2007 and Colt struggled coming off the heels of a promising 2006 season.

Both teams went 10-3

confused the big lebowski GIF

Edited by ShaggyBevo RIP
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SydneyCarton

SydneyCarton 48203

Posted
Posted
17 minutes ago, satyanash said:

An 8-4 season isn't 'miserable'. It just represents a step back in line with the guys we're losing and the uncertainty at RB and LB. No one was 'miserable' when we were 10-3 in 2007 and Colt struggled coming off the heels of a promising 2006 season.

1.) I'm not sure you should use words like "no one" or "we" when discussing UT fans as a whole, because honestly you are literally a unique, one of a kind fan and poster on this website. So I'm not sure you should speak for ANYONE else here.

2.) I'm not sure that no one was miserable in 2007, but I imagine that a large group of regular posters absolutely believes you were borderline ecstatic over that turn of events. 

 

10 minutes ago, HtownHorn said:

He lives in a world where only bad things happen to UT, so he can't ever see that bad things, like LSU's starter LT potentially liking weed more than football, happen to other teams on our schedule.

This was going to be my third point, but you beat me to it...nothing bad ever happens to any other team except UT in his mind. It's unbelievable. OU is just going to turn in 5 more NFL draftable OL this very season and they'll be dominant from the start. 

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HtownHorn

HtownHorn 14786

Posted
Posted
8 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

This was going to be my third point, but you beat me to it...nothing bad ever happens to any other team except UT in his mind. It's unbelievable. OU is just going to turn in 5 more NFL draftable OL this very season and they'll be dominant from the start. 

Granted he is not alone in this line of thinking. It seems a lot of national pundits are only interesting in pointing out the UT personnel losses.

aggy lost it's leading rusher, receiver, best OL, and 6/7 out of their front 7. Yet Brett McMurphy has them ranked ahead of Texas, and uses those losses as an excuse to why Texas is #14.

ou lost 4/5 of it's OL, Heisman winning QB, best WR, and plenty of depth on offense, while returning one of the worst defenses in college football. They are somehow ranked in the Top 5.

It's like these idiots forget that QB play is almost universally the biggest driving factor to a high level of success in football now. 

Texas has the best QB in the Big 12, and one of the Top 3-4 in college football.

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Magus Ossis

Magus Ossis 2866

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, HtownHorn said:

Granted he is not alone in this line of thinking. It seems a lot of national pundits are only interesting in pointing out the UT personnel losses.

aggy lost it's leading rusher, receiver, best OL, and 6/7 out of their front 7. Yet Brett McMurphy has them ranked ahead of Texas, and uses those losses as an excuse to why Texas is #14.

ou lost 4/5 of it's OL, Heisman winning QB, best WR, and plenty of depth on offense, while returning one of the worst defenses in college football. They are somehow ranked in the Top 5.

It's like these idiots forget that QB play is almost universally the biggest driving factor to a high level of success in football now. 

Texas has the best QB in the Big 12, and one of the Top 3-4 in college football.

But you’re forgetting that the “highly scientific and reliable” model that got Texas wrong last year doesn’t think we’re very good this year. With all the S&P+ SP+ tweets coming out over the last month, you’d think that middle school math project magically took the remaining stink out of SEC and ESPN shit.

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texifornia

texifornia 57163

Posted
Posted
3 minutes ago, Magus Ossis said:

But you’re forgetting that the “highly scientific and reliable” model that got Texas wrong last year doesn’t think we’re very good this year. With all the S&P+ SP+ tweets coming out over the last month, you’d think that middle school math project magically took the remaining stink out of SEC and ESPN shit.

Speaking of the middle school math project:

Quote

Yes, Texas is 31st. FPI has the Longhorns just 26th, too. Tom Herman's propensity for overachieving in big games but underachieving in the smaller ones leaves his teams ripe for upsets and forever drags them down from a numbers perspective. Texas fans have spent the offseason yelling things like "Yeah, we only beat Tulsa by a touchdown, but we physically dominated them! We were never threatened!" That's great. Clemson and Alabama would have beaten Tulsa by 48 without turning to the second page of the playbook. To look like title contenders, Texas has to treat every game like a Big Game, not just two or three. Can they? Obviously. But they haven't yet under Herman.

 

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texifornia

texifornia 57163

Posted
Posted

Your definition of "bold" may vary

Quote

BOBBY BURTON, PUBLISHER

Texas will have three offensive players who end the season with more than 1,000 yards from scrimmage in 2019.

To be clear, I’m only talking about rushing and receiving yards, so Sam Ehlinger’s passing yards wouldn’t help his cause. It will come from a mix of rushing and receiving yards for at least one running back, possibly two. And at least one receiver, possibly two, will go over 1,000 yards as well. I look for a better offense and more production behind an improved offensive line. Texas has never had three players exceed 1,000 yards from scrimmage in a year. The Horns almost did it in 2003 when both Cedric Benson and Roy Williams topped 1,000 yards, but Vince Young’s 998 rushing yards came up just shy.

FUCK CHIP BROWN, COLUMNIST

Sophomore safety Caden Sterns leads Texas in interceptions with six.

The Big 12 Defensive Freshman of the Year, Sterns came up huge early last season, single-handedly helping break open come-from-behind victories over USC (blocked field goal) and TCU (two INTs, including third-quarter INT returned to the 2, setting up a decisive touchdown).

Sterns battled nagging injuries all of 2018 while making 13 starts and grabbing a team-high four interceptions.

A healthy sophomore season in 2019 should really allow Sterns to ball hawk for the Texas D, coming oh-so-close to the seven INTs posted in a season by UT greats Jerry Gray (1984), Nathan Vasher (2001) and Noble Doss (1940) and just two shy of Earl Thomas’ school-record eight INTs in 2009.

JEFF HOWE, SENIOR WRITER

Texas beats Oklahoma twice to nab the program’s first conference title since 2009.

Where’s the bar for Texas in 2019? What’s the minimum the Longhorns have to accomplish in order to call Tom Herman’s third season a success? For me, it’s getting back to the Big 12 title game, and while I think Texas gets there, that's not my bold prediction. When it comes to going with a bold prediction, I think Texas beats Oklahoma twice en route to the program’s first conference title since 2009.

I don’t think the 11-2 Longhorns (losses to LSU and TCU) will get into the College Football Playoff, but they will get to avenge one of the losses that kept them from playing for a shot at a national title. Texas will return to the Sugar Bowl to face 11-1 LSU, defeating the Bayou Bengals to finish 12-2 and set up what should be a hellacious rubber match in Baton Rouge next September.

Two bonus bold predictions: Jordan Whittington breaks Eric Metcalf’s school record for receptions by a running back (42) and Keondre Coburn receives votes from the league’s coaches for both Big 12 Defensive Lineman of the Year and Big 12 Defensive Player of the Year.

TAYLOR ESTES, MANAGING EDITOR

Texas will have two 1,000-yard receivers.

The Longhorns were close last season between LilJordan Humphrey and Collin Johnson, though Johnson came up just 15 yards short of the 1,000-yard mark finishing his junior year with 985 receiving yards. I think the Longhorns will surpass that this season as one of the next steps the offense takes with Sam Ehlinger leading the charge.

MIKE ROACH, RECRUITING ANALYST

Roschon Johnson will provide a bigger boost at the running back position than expected.

In high school, Johnson was a dynamic one-cut power runner with a natural feel and good power. If Johnson is called upon early in the season, I expect him to make some plays.

CLINT BUCKLEY, RECRUITING REPORTER

11COMMENTS

Texas will lead the Big 12 in total offense.

The Longhorns got to the conference title game a year ago despite finishing sixth in total offense. UT is deeper and more talented on that side of the ball than it’s been in a decade, while Oklahoma is replacing a Heisman winner, and both West Virginia and Texas Tech have new coaching staffs.

 

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sushihorn

sushihorn 3233

Posted
Posted (edited)
52 minutes ago, texifornia said:

Yes, Texas is 31st. FPI has the Longhorns just 26th, too. Tom Herman's propensity for overachieving in big games but underachieving in the smaller ones leaves his teams ripe for upsets and forever drags them down from a numbers perspective.

The idiot who wrote this has been constantly wrong about Tom Herman and seems to take the proof of his incompetence personally.  Connelly refuses to explicitly acknowledge Herman's demonstrated ability to get his team up for the big game.  5-2 vs the top 25 in 2018 and 6=0 at UH.  The only exception was with a dysfunctional 2017 Texas rebuilding from 3 straight losing seasons and starting a true freshman QB.

The chance of losing a game the Horns shouldn't from the remaining 10 on the schedule makes this knob think a ranking of #31 or even #26 is deserved at 11-1 or even 10-2.  I doubt that even an 8-4 Texas is outside the top 25 at the end of the regular season.  Yet the same idiot has aggy ranked much higher even though Vegas has them as dogs in 5 games and 7.5 season win O/U compared to 9.5 for Texas.

Talk is cheap.  The people wagering actual money think Texas is a much better team than Connelly does.  They also have an actual stake in the outcome.

Edited by sushihorn
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closetojumping

closetojumping 62883

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, BigBenBamboozle said:

@closetojumping, is a 4-loss season "impossible" with this year's team, in your uninterrupted, eternal wisdom?

The premise of a 4 loss season has nothing to do with anything logically being discussed. The original tweet referenced Texas finishing the season unranked. Not the regular season, which would have been a bizarre and irrelevant point, but yet that is the premise you, sarvanaash and a multitude of others seem bizarrely attached to in this exercise.

There will not be an 8-4 finish to Texas this season, irrespective of whether or not they're ranked at the time of season completion. They'll be one of: 0-12, 1-11, 2-10, 3-9, 4-8, 5-7, 5-8, 6-7, 7-6, 8-5, 9-4, 9-5, 10-3, 10-4, 11-2, 11-3, 11-4, 12-2, 12-3, 13-1, 13-2, 14-1, 15-0. Notice there isn't a fucking 8-4 in there, rube-ric. Barring a natural disaster, act of terror, or aliens shooting laser beams from outer space as they invade our planet, it is fucking impossible for Texas to go 8-4 this season. And, at the point in which they are 8-4, should they hit that mark, they'll have another game to play, and after that game, they may or may not finish the fucking season unranked. 

My original issue is that sarvanassh has a pathological need to poormouth Texas results, and it carries over into patently false, disprovable outcomes, such as a Texas team hitting 8-4, and then not going to a bowl, and finishing the season, with that record, unranked. You didn't pause long enough to consider this reality, as you and dipshits like you can't wait for me and my ilk to be wrong so that you can throw rocks at me from the back of the crowd and point out to no one in particular what a dumbass I am. That, as usual for you, didn't work out so well.

As to the premise of whether or not Texas could lose 4 games this year? I just pointed out that that is possible, which I never fucking claimed otherwise. It's "possible" that Texas could lose 12 games this season. Chaos, while a ladder, is also a weird thing that I do not discount. Anything could happen, and I have fucking accounted for most of the known anythings in this very post. 

 

 

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Magus Ossis

Magus Ossis 2866

Posted
Posted
24 minutes ago, texifornia said:

More "fun" with analytics

 

Since we beat Missouri like a drum, they have posted an 8-4 regular season record and lost to Okie Lite in the Liberty Bowl. If only we had recruited better, developed a star QB, and shown program progress since then, we might not be ranked behind them.

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HtownHorn

HtownHorn 14786

Posted
Posted
36 minutes ago, texifornia said:

More "fun" with analytics

 

It's amazing the dick slobbering they do for SEC teams. aggy lost just as much as Texas did, Texas returns more proven talent across the board, and aggy is going to struggle to win 6 games, yet they are nearly a 10 point favorite over Texas.

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jimmyjazz

jimmyjazz 46227

Posted
Posted

Jesus.  He was pointing out that it would be impossible to play a 12-game regular season schedule, finish 8-4, and NOT GO TO A BOWL GAME.

By the way, the #9, #13, #16, #17 and #20 teams in the final AP Top 25 all had 4 losses.  As usual, satyanash is wringing his hands in advance for no good reason.

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Huckleberry

Huckleberry 33114

Posted
Posted (edited)
26 minutes ago, jimmyjazz said:

Jesus.  He was pointing out that it would be impossible to play a 12-game regular season schedule, finish 8-4, and NOT GO TO A BOWL GAME.

By the way, the #9, #13, #16, #17 and #20 teams in the final AP Top 25 all had 4 losses.  As usual, satyanash is wringing his hands in advance for no good reason.

Who was #9? Seems pretty high for a 4-loss team. Texas would never get that benefit of the doubt.

Edited by Huckleberry
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sith_horn

sith_horn 2407

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Magus Ossis said:

Since we beat Missouri like a drum, they have posted an 8-4 regular season record and lost to Okie Lite in the Liberty Bowl. If only we had recruited better, developed a star QB, and shown program progress since then, we might not be ranked behind them.

Like Gawja,  it just don't mean more playing a BDF 12 team in a bowl game.

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