Dallas Cowboys 2019 Offseason Thread of Mediocrity

[TornACL 7,792]

Joe Fuck. 

How incredibly clever. You're a true wordsmith.

Did you think that up on your own, or did the other guys at the halfway house help you come up with that?

[TornACL 7,792]

If you watch a game at the bar, it doesn't matter who's announcing. Because even if the sound is on, eventually you'll be drunk and won't give a shit anyway. 

[Hate 20,232]

You don’t have to be at a bar to get drunk.

[EvilCaseMcCoy 692]

26 minutes ago, Sgt Hulk said:

For future man

I heard he had a nice 30 yard completion yesterday. 

[Sgt Hulk 14,331]

[Sgt Hulk 14,331]

Witten looks good.

[Trey3216 15,450]

Robert Quinn suspended 2 games for PED's. jeez 

[Vic Mackey 47,848]

[Vic Mackey 47,848]

1 minute ago, Trey3216 said:

Robert Quinn suspended 2 games for PED's. jeez 

I think it's a requirement to get suspended at least once if you play DL for Dallas.

[DallasHorn26 587]

Quinn suspended for 2 games for PEd's.

 

Quote

Defensive end Robert Quinn will definitely miss the first two regular-season games now.

The NFL has announced the veteran pass-rusher has been suspended for two games for a violation of the league’s policy on performance-enhancing substances.

Quinn had recently returned to Dallas to undergo surgery on a fractured left hand that he sustained in practice earlier this week.

While there were questions on Quinn’s availability for Week 1 before this news because of the injury, it’s likely Quinn should be fully healed when he comes back.

He is allowed to practice in training camp and even play in the preseason games, although it’s unlikely that is injury would allow him to participate.

https://www.dallascowboys.com/news/already-injured-quinn-gets-2-game-suspension

[Vic Mackey 47,848]

His agent said Quinn was taking meds for seizures.

[Radical Larry 28,815]

This team cannot get through an offseason without tripping over its dick.

[C-Man 27,686]

5 minutes ago, Vic Mackey said:

Mick always pumping the most sunshine

[Junior Miller 1,502]

15 minutes ago, C-Man said:

Mick always pumping the most sunshine

Got damn Dak must look like hot shit if Spags gives him less than an A+

Edited August 8, 2019 by Junior Miller

[Junior Miller 1,502]

19 minutes ago, Vic Mackey said:

His agent said Quinn was taking meds for seizures.

Suuuuuuuuure. Seizures from going too hard on the roids. 

[Trey3216 15,450]

2 minutes ago, Junior Miller said:

Suuuuuuuuure. Seizures from going too hard on the roids. 

If it’s a doctor prescribed medicine, and it somehow shows up as a masking agent (which it did in this instance), then the NFLPA should be all over defending him for it.   Seizure medicines ain’t no joke. 

[gsoda3 3,358]

18 minutes ago, Trey3216 said:

If it’s a doctor prescribed medicine, and it somehow shows up as a masking agent (which it did in this instance), then the NFLPA should be all over defending him for it.   Seizure medicines ain’t no joke. 

that's not what his agent is claiming though. 

[SizzleChest 8,302]

Ha ha, nice story.  100% bullshit, but a nice story.

[Trey3216 15,450]

47 minutes ago, gsoda3 said:

that's not what his agent is claiming though. 

Just going from what radio reports were saying 

[DougO 5,261]

7 hours ago, youdunnf'dup said:

Well I would assume we’re going to get a ton of 2nd wave, fox “nfl game of the week” games (as much if not more than any other team). So he’ll probably call our games as much or more than any other team lol. 

Daryl Johnston, the best sidekick commentator in the league, got demoted another couple of pegs yet again. He should just join the Cowboys broadcasts already. TV shit is getting more unbearable each year.

[DougO 5,261]

1 hour ago, C-Man said:

Mick always pumping the most sunshine

That embarrassing hack failed scout broad-ass gave him the worst grade, so that's encouraging, at least.

Isn't Dak notorious for playing shitty in practice?

[C-Man 27,686]

7 minutes ago, DougO said:

Daryl Johnston, the best sidekick commentator in the league, got demoted another couple of pegs yet again. He should just join the Cowboys broadcasts already. TV shit is getting more unbearable each year.

I'm not a huge fan of Moose in the booth but that might be because he's paired with that waterhead, Kenny Albert.

[Sgt Hulk 14,331]

1 hour ago, Vic Mackey said:

His passes where way off today 

[Underdog 29,104]

4 hours ago, Sgt Hulk said:

For future man

"Put me in, Coach...  I'm ready to play..."

[gsoda3 3,358]

Daryl Johnston, the best sidekick commentator in the league, got demoted another couple of pegs yet again. He should just join the Cowboys broadcasts already. TV shit is getting more unbearable each year.

I don't think he's particularly good

[DougO 5,261]

5 minutes ago, gsoda3 said:

34 minutes ago, DougO said:

Daryl Johnston, the best sidekick commentator in the league, got demoted another couple of pegs yet again. He should just join the Cowboys broadcasts already. TV shit is getting more unbearable each year.

I don't think he's particularly good

He's definitely way better than Aikman, one of the most boring in the league. When Moose and Goose were teamed up that was some good football viewing.

 

[TornACL 7,792]

13 minutes ago, DougO said:

He's definitely way better than Aikman, one of the most boring in the league. When Moose and Goose were teamed up that was some good football viewing.

 

God damnit, no. 

It's a football game, we don't need that fat idiot bumbling around the sideline doing comedy bits and distracting from the game. It was a great day when Fox finally came to their senses and shitcanned that dude.

BTW, Moose is paired up with another dimwit this season...Chris Meyers. 

[DougO 5,261]

2 minutes ago, TornACL said:

God damnit, no. 

It's a football game, we don't need that fat idiot bumbling around the sideline doing comedy bits and distracting from the game. It was a great day when Fox finally came to their senses and shitcanned that dude.

BTW, Moose is paired up with another dimwit this season...Chris Meyers. 

The networks have no clue, other than most viewers don't have a clue, either, so quality doesn't matter as much as image and star power. And Goose wasn't just a comedy bit. He actually contributed some really good observations. But the comedy bits were usually worth hearing, too. Aikman tries to be funny all the time, he just misses the mark when he does.

[futureman 22,666]

3 hours ago, Vic Mackey said:

 

1 hour ago, Sgt Hulk said:

His passes where way off today 

dak and the cowboys are going to have a rough year.  I pray to god he’s too stupid to take jerry’s offer before the season.   after this season he’ll be getting backup pay.  

[DougO 5,261]

3 hours ago, Trey3216 said:

Robert Quinn suspended 2 games for PED's. jeez 

Don't worry, it's just a little temporary fix for that commie Goodell until he can slap another suspension on Zeke.

[totallynotabuttpirate 5,477]

On 8/7/2019 at 10:11 AM, youdunnf'dup said:

It wouldn’t shock me at all if he ended up on the pats. I think futureman is actually kind of right on this one. We were overthinking Rico’s usage. Give the man 2 or 3 routes. Who gives a fuck if the defense knows he isn’t going to block. 

I'd be shocked if he ends up on their roster. NE often values football intelligence more than athleticism. Rico has shown he has no clue how to play the game of football. 

Dude couldn't even remember the play or his assignment multiple times. You think Brady's going to be okay with that level of dumbassery when he's trying to win his last SB? 

[TornACL 7,792]

50 minutes ago, DougO said:

The networks have no clue, other than most viewers don't have a clue, either, so quality doesn't matter as much as image and star power. And Goose wasn't just a comedy bit. He actually contributed some really good observations. But the comedy bits were usually worth hearing, too. Aikman tries to be funny all the time, he just misses the mark when he does.

We live on completely different planets, you and I. 

[Junior Miller 1,502]

2 hours ago, Trey3216 said:

Just going from what radio reports were saying 

It's medicine he's taken for a while so it doesn't flag. Their story is that the pharmacy, for some unknown and improbable reason, decided to taint his legit medicine with banned substances. 

That's some far-fetched grasping at the last straw desperation grade Cowboy level bullshit right there. 

[Voldemort86 2,259]

2 hours ago, totallynotabuttpirate said:

I'd be shocked if he ends up on their roster. NE often values football intelligence more than athleticism. Rico has shown he has no clue how to play the game of football. 

Dude couldn't even remember the play or his assignment multiple times. You think Brady's going to be okay with that level of dumbassery when he's trying to win his last SB? 

Brady just signed a 2 year extension. He could win more than one at this point.

[totallynotabuttpirate 5,477]

9 minutes ago, Voldemort86 said:

Brady just signed a 2 year extension. He could win more than one at this point.

Look at the structure of the extension. It's essentially a one year deal with annual team options after that. Not saying he's retiring or becoming a FA, but it's not out of the realm of possibility.

And we all know the story, his supermodel wife has been wanting him to retire the last 2-3 years. He also put his Boston home up for sale. 

Edited August 9, 2019 by totallynotabuttpirate

[hookem48 4,808]

3 hours ago, DougO said:

The networks have no clue, other than most viewers don't have a clue, either, so quality doesn't matter as much as image and star power. And Goose wasn't just a comedy bit. He actually contributed some really good observations. But the comedy bits were usually worth hearing, too. Aikman tries to be funny all the time, he just misses the mark when he does.

speaking of having no clue, Aikman tries to be funny all the time? seriously, what the fuck?

[youdunnf'dup 2,147]

2 hours ago, futureman said:

 

dak and the cowboys are going to have a rough year.  I pray to god he’s too stupid to take jerry’s offer before the season.   after this season he’ll be getting backup pay.  

If he really has a top 5 offer on the table (pretty sure the 5th highest qb contract is Matt Ryan at 30mil a year), it would be dumb for him to not take that right now. Especially if there’s even a slim chance that Zeke misses regular season games. I’ll give you that. I think Zeke plays, and if he does play, Dak will be fine, but that’s a good number for him. 

[Trey3216 15,450]

4 hours ago, Junior Miller said:

It's medicine he's taken for a while so it doesn't flag. Their story is that the pharmacy, for some unknown and improbable reason, decided to taint his legit medicine with banned substances. 

That's some far-fetched grasping at the last straw desperation grade Cowboy level bullshit right there. 

That definitely changes the tables 

[Vic Mackey 47,848]

Ridiculous.

 

[Mossyhorn 143]

10-6 sounds REALLY good to me right now. To do that, Lee has to stay healthy, Zeke must stay out of jail/trouble, & JJ needs to stay off the field (not happening).

I will believe it when I see it.

[Trey3216 15,450]

48 minutes ago, Mossyhorn said:

10-6 sounds REALLY good to me right now. To do that, Lee has to stay healthy, Zeke must stay out of jail/trouble, & JJ needs to stay off the field (not happening).

I will believe it when I see it.

Lee doesn’t necessarily have to stay healthy.  He’s gonna get about 30% of defensive snaps as it is.   Maybe.  LVE and Jaylon must stay healthy though.   

[Genco 3,053]

50 minutes ago, Mossyhorn said:

10-6 sounds REALLY good to me right now. To do that, Lee has to stay healthy, Zeke must stay out of jail/trouble, & JJ needs to stay off the field (not happening).

I will believe it when I see it.

Well they went 10-6 last year. What is it that you need to see to believe?

[youdunnf'dup 2,147]

Having a first place schedule in the NFC is going to make it tough for us. You never know how teams are going to be from year to year, but i think it’s safe to assume that the saints and the rams will be good next year. The bears might be good, but they had a TON of takeaways last year. That should regress this year. So now they have to assume that Mitch Trubisky is going to take the next step, and i think that’s a hell of an assumption. Also, being matched up with the AFC east is cool, but the NFC north could easily be the best division in football top to bottom. They’re in the discussion, at least.

[youdunnf'dup 2,147]

As for tonight, what are we looking for? See what  qb can actually look competent? See if Brett Maher sucks? Matt Bryant, Dan Carpenter, Kai Forbath, and Nick Novak are sitting on their couch right now and neither have officially retired. For a team that plays in so many close games, why are we playing around with this shit?

Edited August 10, 2019 by youdunnf'dup

[Junior Miller 1,502]

1 hour ago, youdunnf'dup said:

As for tonight, what are we looking for? See what  qb can actually look competent? See if Brett Maher sucks? Matt Bryant, Dan Carpenter, Kai Forbath, and Nick Novak are sitting on their couch right now and neither have officially retired. For a team that plays in so many close games, why are we playing around with this shit?

Honestly, only thing to look for tonight as far as I'm concerned is for Pollard to look like an absolute beast and explosive as hell to put maximum pressure on Zeke to report to camp without new contract. If that happens a couple of games in a row I think Zeke walks back from his ridiculous 2 year left on contract holdout. 

Only other thing to watch for is zero injuries. Other than that the game means zero for the season. 

[conVINCEd 21,477]

1 hour ago, youdunnf'dup said:

As for tonight, what are we looking for? See what  qb can actually look competent? See if Brett Maher sucks? Matt Bryant, Dan Carpenter, Kai Forbath, and Nick Novak are sitting on their couch right now and neither have officially retired. For a team that plays in so many close games, why are we playing around with this shit?

Phil Dawson might be talked into another year if it was his hometown team who asked.

Edited August 11, 2019 by conVINCEd

[futureman 22,666]

1 hour ago, youdunnf'dup said:

Having a first place schedule in the NFC is going to make it tough for us

you need to actually look at our schedule.  it’s a joke. 

[youdunnf'dup 2,147]

15 minutes ago, Junior Miller said:

Honestly, only thing to look for tonight as far as I'm concerned is for Pollard to look like an absolute beast and explosive as hell to put maximum pressure on Zeke to report to camp without new contract. If that happens a couple of games in a row I think Zeke walks back from his ridiculous 2 year left on contract holdout. 

Only other thing to watch for is zero injuries. Other than that the game means zero for the season. 

Good call on Pollard. I still don’t see any way in hell Zeke is actually dumb enough to miss games this year (maybe next year, but not this year), but it would be nice if Pollard showed some promise.

[C-Man 27,686]

Cool watch Broadass

[futureman 22,666]

is that a seiko diver?