Jalen Hurts seems like a giant douchebag

[TexArcher 37,977]

And a meth head.

And he sucks.

 

[htownjd 43]

Sam Ehlinger liked this post.

[Bigbend1812 12,927]

  Oh, he transferred to OU.... yes he sucks major cocks.  

[TexArcher 37,977]

I guess I never realized how much I've always hated him.  

[Sgt Hulk 13,785]

Cool a new Jalen hurts thread 

[The Golden Hat 299]

Jalen Hurts eats pieces of shit for breakfast

[ClubWhatever 12,145]

Not seems, Bob.  

[Fletch 5,800]

Jalen Hurts kicks puppies and hates Jesus 

[Murfdogg21 4,413]

Will he take the loss like a pussy?

[TexasTroll 454]

Damm

this thread hurts me.

[formermav43 4,606]

Meh

[Richter 2,261]

Most people don’t know that Hurts is actually his middle name... his last name is Babies.

[DaggerHorns 3,085]

“Always Be Hungry” - a short story about Jalen Hurts

There the tide were competing for yet another national title. Early in 2018, Jalen Hurts found himself distraught on the bench gobbling on another cock. His teammates looked on while a freshman took the field amidst nearly 3.5 quarters of steady cock gobbling.

Many knew how big the stage was while Nick Saban was aware of it being even bigger. “God Dammit Jalen! We’ve given you more cash than Holgerson spends on a summertime Atlantic City hooker and you haven’t scored for shit!” Exclaimed Nick while Tua trotted on the field moments before he won the title in overtime.

Jalen was always happy but always hungry....for more cock. Jalen knew that he would eventually move on, and he wouldn’t always be getting aggy love letters but one day he would find a place that fit him well....with more cock. 

Now its a new era, Jalen has found that warm hard shaft to take down to the balls. Yep, that’s right. His new place is mediocore, in middle America, and it’s got more cock than a Cantonese chicken coup.

Jalen has accepted Oklahoma and Lincoln Riley has welcomed him with open zippers.  As soon as Jalen arrived in Norman, he knew he had work to do so he immediately let his toothless methhead teammates skull fuck him like a pin cushion in a quilting club.

Boomer dick-eating Sooner!

[markstanco 12,577]

Jalen Hurts kicks puppies and hates Jesus 

And old people. Dont forget about old people.

[Fletch 5,800]

11 minutes ago, markstanco said:

1 hour ago, Fletch said:

Jalen Hurts kicks puppies and hates Jesus 

And old people. Dont forget about old people.

Yeah, I heard one of his hobbies is going to the hospital and pulling the plug on the elderly 

[futureman 22,484]

1 hour ago, Sgt Hulk said:

Cool a new Jalen hurts thread 

are you a jalen hurts apologist?  

[Tex Long 4,401]

2 hours ago, Sgt Hulk said:

Cool a new Jalen hurts thread 

You fucking dumbass, you left out "Okay" and "Hook'em"...

Go post in the other threads. Or, wait... post less. Everywhere.

[T-shirt Sip 2,107]

His middle name is sVagina. 

Edited January 18, 2019 by T-shirt Sip

[Thetexashammer 1,062]

Jalen Hurts steals candy from babies.

[Helobious 9,462]

Never bought his “team over everything” schtick. Dude admitted to calling his parents and crying right after bama beat UGA for the title because he lost his starting job. Doesn’t sound like much of a team player to me.

[Sgt Hulk 13,785]

10 hours ago, Tex Long said:

You fucking dumbass, you left out "Okay" and "Hook'em"...

Go post in the other threads. Or, wait... post less. Everywhere.

You seem awfully mad. Maybe create a Jalen hurts thread 

[phdhorn 6,224]

♪♫
Jalen Hurts
Jalen scars
Jalen wounds and marks
Any heart not tough or strong enough
To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain
Jalen is like a cloud, it holds a lot of rain
Jalen Hurts
Ooh Jalen Hurts

I'm young
I know
But even so
I know a thing or two, I learned from you
I really learned a lot, really learned a lot
Jalen is like a flame, it burns you when it's hot
Jalen Hurts
Ooh Jalen Hurts

Some fools think
Of happiness, blissfulness, togetherness
Some fools fool themselves, I guess
They're not foolin' me
I know…

 

 

[clapclapclap 9,000]

13 hours ago, Sgt Hulk said:

Cool a new Jalen hurts thread 

Seems like every thread hurts, sometimes.

Edited January 18, 2019 by clapclapclap
OUsux

[Cairn Horn88 8,274]

This thread is what sucks.

[Funk Doctor Spock 12,415]

Jalen Hurts fucking sucks, which is why he lost his job to a freshman. Even a good freshmen shouldn't be taking an upperclassmen's job unless they're Case Mccoy bad. We finally get to see ou struggle, and it's going to be glorious. Even Herman wouldn't have offered Hurts. 

[crash_davis 23,113]

let's hope this thread ages much better than the ewok thread.

[MrPhlegm 3,413]

[Funk Doctor Spock 12,415]

20 minutes ago, crash_davis said:

let's hope this thread ages much better than the ewok thread.

I think the Ewok thread was more in jest, but yeah, none of us expected that motherfucker to run like crazy. But we did predict he would cry if he got hit hard enough.

[Walden Ponderer 12,639]

This thread title is misleading.

Hurts only seems 'giant' because of his predecessor.

[Fletch 5,800]

1 hour ago, Cairn Horn88 said:

This thread is what sucks.

More or less than OU?

[Funk Doctor Spock 12,415]

55 minutes ago, Fletch said:

More or less than OU?

Nice try. One in the same suckage

[ztejas 43,475]

Jalen Hurts lost his job to a freshman and then transferred schools so he could lose his job to another freshman. 

[Tex Long 4,401]

4 minutes ago, ztejas said:

Jalen Hurts lost his job to a freshman and then transferred schools so he could lose his job to another freshman. 

Such an outcome would not hurt my feels.

 

[mulletpelini 5,212]

So this was his backup plan huh.

[Trailertrashwithcash 15]

Jalen buttHurts Texas fans in January, Jalen don’t give a shit, Jalen fucked around in October, made a few plays that hurt his team but in the end Texas Butt Fucked  itself again with the, and that’s impressive considering Herman doesn’t have a BBC, butt(pun intended) y’all a used to that at the end ( there it is again) of the day.  Ok....cool...fuck me in the Longhorn ass

[Henry Hill 3,156]

5 minutes ago, Trailertrashwithcash said:

Jalen buttHurts Texas fans in January, Jalen don’t give a shit, Jalen fucked around in October, made a few plays that hurt his team but in the end Texas Butt Fucked  itself again with the, and that’s impressive considering Herman doesn’t have a BBC, butt(pun intended) y’all a used to that at the end ( there it is again) of the day.  Ok....cool...fuck me in the Longhorn ass

Your OU “education” is on full display with that unintelligible babble.

[Funk Doctor Spock 12,415]

He certainly has a punchable face. Not quite as much as Baker, but Baker was actually super talented, whereas Hurts seems like he sucks, and he carries the ball like a loaf of bread. 

[Jkwellborn 6,708]

Jalen buttHurts Texas fans in January, Jalen don’t give a shit, Jalen fucked around in October, made a few plays that hurt his team but in the end Texas Butt Fucked  itself again with the, and that’s impressive considering Herman doesn’t have a BBC, butt(pun intended) y’all a used to that at the end ( there it is again) of the day.  Ok....cool...fuck me in the Longhorn ass

What kind of fool signs up to make this as a post?

[Go Pokes 979]

What kind of fool signs up to make this as a post?

The ou kind. He’s actually considered almost normal in Oklahoma

[BradWilcox 115]

I hate Bama. Glad he left there. Seems to be a good kid. From Texas so can't be all bad. Or at least I think he's from Texas. Well then why the fuck wasn't he recruited here? Guess he didn't like Cholly! 

[Funk Doctor Spock 12,415]

Apparently he grew up an aggy fan, so it's no wonder he sucks.

[gmr548 16,580]

23 minutes ago, BradWilcox said:

I hate Bama. Glad he left there. Seems to be a good kid. From Texas so can't be all bad. Or at least I think he's from Texas. Well then why the fuck wasn't he recruited here? Guess he didn't like Cholly! 

Go back to TexAgs.

[ChiTownDoc 21,154]

3 hours ago, Trailertrashwithcash said:

Jalen buttHurts Texas fans in January, Jalen don’t give a shit, Jalen fucked around in October, made a few plays that hurt his team but in the end Texas Butt Fucked  itself again with the, and that’s impressive considering Herman doesn’t have a BBC, butt(pun intended) y’all a used to that at the end ( there it is again) of the day.  Ok....cool...fuck me in the Longhorn ass

I think this is my sock.  

[strangulation! 1,716]

You should be able to pull sufficient DNA out of it if you need to double check.

[Go Pokes 979]

I think this is my sock.  

Nice misdirection. You really through us off the scent by going from urbane, well-educated doctor to brain damaged Walmart greeter who can’t put together a coherent sentence.

[Braff Zacklin 13,618]

No offense, but in Oklahoma, aren't those the same thing?

[BradWilcox 115]

1 hour ago, gmr548 said:

Go back to TexAgs.

I'm not from TexAgs you dumb ass.

[ChiTownDoc 21,154]

45 minutes ago, Go Pokes said:

Nice misdirection. You really through us off the scent by going from urbane, well-educated doctor to brain damaged Walmart greeter who can’t put together a coherent sentence.

I thought the pun might take it over the top but in retrospect it turned out pretty well. 

[DoobieWah 1,446]

2 hours ago, Go Pokes said:

Nice misdirection. You really through us off the scent by going from urbane, well-educated doctor to brain damaged Walmart greeter who can’t put together a coherent sentence.

* "threw"

😉

[ztejas 43,475]

2 hours ago, ChiTownDoc said:

I think this is my sock.