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Tom Brady Is UnFucking Real

Vic Mackey

By Vic Mackey
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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8883

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"just when I think I'm out, they pull me back in"

Haven't watched NFL football since I don't know when but due to the escapades of alien Tom Brady have been forced to watch just out of amazement. There is no way that son of a gun is human.

And of course I will drop in and watch from time to time when Sam gets to play again.

Edited by SHOOTER12
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Brady is the best in the history of the game but walks around the locker room like he's a water boy. Stories and stories are documented him in Julys past of him going around to free agents introd

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Wally Pryor

Wally Pryor 5388

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Final give to the guy who gave up all leverage when he gave up the 600th ball: one bitcoin from Brady ($60K-ish current value), two signed jerseys and a helmet from Brady, along with a jersey and game-worn cleats from Mike Evans, two season tickets for Bucs home games through the end of the 2022 season, $1000 gift certificate at the Bucs store. 

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Vic Mackey

Vic Mackey 47846

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On 12/6/2021 at 8:33 AM, Wally Pryor said:

Another day at the office yesterday: 38 for 51. 368 yards. 4 TDs. 1 pick.  

Greatness is Brady's normal but has been for a long time. One of the frontrunners for the MVP. I never get tired talking about how awesome he is.

The fact he is casually doing this at the age of 44 is fucking insane. How long can he keep playing? He knows how to dissect a defense. If you give him protection and he does not suffer a serious injury, I don't see any slowing down right now.

Tampa is right there again as a contender in the NFC. I think it is them and Green Bay right now. Do not buy into Kyler right now to make any deep playoff run. But if Arizona gets that 1 seed and that bye week and homefield, who knows.

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Horn Dogg

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12 hours ago, Vic Mackey said:

The fact he is casually doing this at the age of 44 is fucking insane. How long can he keep playing? He knows how to dissect a defense. If you give him protection and he does not suffer a serious injury, I don't see any slowing down right now.

Tampa is right there again as a contender in the NFC. I think it is them and Green Bay right now. Do not buy into Kyler right now to make any deep playoff run. But if Arizona gets that 1 seed and that bye week and homefield, who knows.

He must be feeding on baby fetuses or something, there’s no other logical explanation.  

I agree with your NFC analysis.

I heard you like fat chicks.  All good, can be fun!

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Wally Pryor

Wally Pryor 5388

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19 hours ago, Vic Mackey said:

The fact he is casually doing this at the age of 44 is fucking insane. How long can he keep playing? He knows how to dissect a defense. If you give him protection and he does not suffer a serious injury, I don't see any slowing down right now.

Tampa is right there again as a contender in the NFC. I think it is them and Green Bay right now. Do not buy into Kyler right now to make any deep playoff run. But if Arizona gets that 1 seed and that bye week and homefield, who knows.

Yeah. He's fucking 44. 

 

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Horn Dogg

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On 12/9/2021 at 5:31 AM, Wally Pryor said:

Yeah. He's fucking 44. 

 

I’m 44, I’m a man and shit.  But I feel like I have a much different body than when I was in my 30’s and can’t even remember how durable I was in my 20’s.  I’m just happy when my dick decides to wake up.  I can imagine playing a young man’s game with over 20 years of wear and tear on my body.  Brady is either cheating, alien, or eating stem cells.  There’s no logical explanation.  Fun to watch though!

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ztejas

ztejas 44114

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I somehow didn't realize that he's fucking 44 years old. He's bar none the greatest athlete of any organized American sport ever. To argue otherwise is insanity. Gretzky and Jordan are looking up at him wondering how the fuck he is still doing what he is. It doesn't even make sense at this point. His protégés have like 2 and 1 and 1 super bowls and he has 7. 

I mean what the actual fuck. If he gets an 8th everyone alive to have witnessed him will never see anything as absurd. Not even close. He makes Tiger Woods look like Lee Trevino. 

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Blotto

Blotto 23974

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4 hours ago, ztejas said:

I somehow didn't realize that he's fucking 44 years old. He's bar none the greatest athlete of any organized American sport ever. To argue otherwise is insanity. Gretzky and Jordan are looking up at him wondering how the fuck he is still doing what he is. It doesn't even make sense at this point. His protégés have like 2 and 1 and 1 super bowls and he has 7. 

I mean what the actual fuck. If he gets an 8th everyone alive to have witnessed him will never see anything as absurd. Not even close. He makes Tiger Woods look like Lee Trevino. 

I think Gretzky and Jordan were both around 40 when they retired and their output in the last couple of years was a serious step back from their prime years. Brady at the age of 44 is leading the league is yds, tds, QBR. And he can probably do it for another couple of years. In my mind, his career achievements at this point are so much further ahead of guys like Jordan, Gretzky, Woods, etc... that he's in a different realm. 

https://www.espn.com/espn/feature/story/_/id/32472417/tom-brady-three-hall-fame-careers-case-enshrinement-seven-year-era-patriots-bucs

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ztejas

ztejas 44114

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Brady can do whatever the fuck he wants. Anyone pretending like they care at this point is either trying to fill air time or generate clicks or is a Bucs fan. 

Also - Rodgers spent all of last off-season doing acid and pretending to fuck his girlfriend in Hawaii while not reporting to training camp and then won MVP. 

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WinningIsHard

WinningIsHard 4171

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9 hours ago, ztejas said:

Brady can do whatever the fuck he wants. Anyone pretending like they care at this point is either trying to fill air time or generate clicks or is a Bucs fan. 

Also - Rodgers spent all of last off-season doing acid and pretending to fuck his girlfriend in Hawaii while not reporting to training camp and then won MVP. 

I read an article about Rodgers a year or so ago and in the comments some guy said Aaron Rodgers is gayer than 7 dudes blowing 8 dudes. I have never laughed so hard at a comment before but I almost blacked out laughing at that one. Shit still makes me laugh, honestly. Haha 

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1 hour ago, Not a cat said:

That's my thought.  That's a broken down man there and the only other thing I can think of is a sick kid but that'd be something they'd probably disclose.  My money is on Giselle stepping out. 

Or he could just be avoiding answering a dumb question while trying to regain his composure, as opposed to calling out the idiocy of the  sorry cocksucker who asked it.

Or he's single...

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markstanco

markstanco 12773

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That's my thought.  That's a broken down man there and the only other thing I can think of is a sick kid but that'd be something they'd probably disclose.  My money is on Giselle stepping out. 

That would suck. Hopefully that isn’t it. He will never be able to find a woman at his age.
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Brothahorn

Brothahorn 10096

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6 minutes ago, Wally Pryor said:

Giselle's had enough. Guess Brady's 11 days with her / the family wasn't quite enough. 

But it is Page 6, FWIW.

https://pagesix.com/2022/09/01/tom-brady-and-gisele-bundchen-in-epic-fight-sources/?utm_source=NYPTwitter&utm_campaign=SocialFlow&utm_medium=SocialFlow

 

Might be time to Tom to go the Leonardo route. But with a 30 y/o. He doesn't have to put up with that crap.

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Brothahorn

Brothahorn 10096

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47 minutes ago, immamac said:

This is the dumbest thing I’ve read in a while. 

Eh, once an aggy always an aggy, no matter what board you are on. You guys are not exactly known for common sense. 👍

 

Tom can replace Giselle. Giselle, no matter what is not replacing Tom Brady, the GOAT. So if he wants to keep playing football then that's what he does. That's his life, it's what made him who he is. If she is trying to make him choose, that's bullshit. She damn sure wouldn't have chose him if he was a career backup/retired retread. She can accept it or move on. And no matter what guy she brings home and their wallet size, he is still not Tom Brady. It's like Juanita trying to replace Michael. That shit ain't happening. Juanita didn't understand that so Mike move on. Tommy Title may have to do the same thing.

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