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Fear and Loathing in College Station

Macanudo

By Macanudo
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Macanudo

Macanudo 13009

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Fair warning, this is a bit long.   But it exemplifies all things Aggie.  

So the Macanudo-ettes had a lacrosse tournament in College Station this weekend.    Didn't want to go but, hey, I'm a good dad so we made our plans.   Teams were assigned by the tournament director to area hotels and we drew the short straw:   The Texas A&M Conference Center & Hotel.    It's everything you think it is and more.   The bar is named The Block T after the dumbass Corps Band's "special maneuver" that leaves the Aggie faithful breathless.   The snack bar is called Junction Market.   Right on Campus, directly across from Kyle Field.    Major awesome rates of $299 a night for non-conference games and $399 a night for conference ones.   But I digress.

As we pulled out town on Friday, we got a reminder via text that check-in begins at 4:00 but if we weren't going to be there by 7:00 we needed to let them know so they could keep out reservation.   WTF?    Ever been to a hotel that has a 3 hour window for check-in before you have to worry about losing your room?   Not me.   We made it to the hotel about 6:45 and the clusterfuck was on.   There were two option for parking;  Valet at $24  a day or self park for the hourly rate.   Based on where the closest self-park garage was and a significant chance of rain on Saturday, valet seemed the way to go.    We pull up to the hotel and it's on what amounts to a dead end.   One way in and one way out.    And probably 20 people waiting to valet.  We had  team function to get to so I unloaded everything we needed for the night and told the valet dude that I'd be right back.   They only had two guys parking cars so there was no way they'd get to me before we checked in and got back down from the rooms.   Check in was surprisingly smooth except for the $200 a night "incidentals" hold they wanted.   Sure, no problem.   I wasn't planning on stealing any towels or sheep.   Got to the rooms and was greeted with this in the entry:

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Floor to ceiling memorializing all that is Aggie.  And it was in every room right inside the door.   We put our stuff down and then I looked over above the bed and saw this:

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It's a 12' by 5' photo a Ring Dance from the late 40s or early 50s.    Every room on the 7th floor had pictures like it.   Some were on in pairs at 5' by 5'.  And every floor had a different theme.   I shudder to think that there might be a milk man theme on a floor.     I bet Rick Perry asks for that floor.   

We went to dinner and then came back to sack out.    Then I saw this over on the table:

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A whole book praising Jackie Sherill and the 12th Man experiment that started in 1984.  These fuckers still glorify that cheating SOB.   Just unbelievable.   I decided to take a shower because we had an early game and got to see this:

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How many Aggies have rubbed one out in these rooms and deposited their deformed sperm on that handle?   

As I got ready for bed, there was one more thing to catch my eye:

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It's not just that the train comes every 2-3 hours.   Anyone who's been to a game at Olsen knows how these knuckle draggers cream themselves when it goes through.   They just fucking love it.  And they built a hotel right along Wellbourn without sufficient noise reduction to prevent waking people up at night.   And wake me it did.   At midnight and 3 am both nights.  

So flash forward to Saturday morning.   Had to have the girls at the fields for an 8:00 am game which really means being there at 7:00 for warmups.   We were told that breakfast was complimentary in the dining room.   Oh, it was.   Just not the buffet or full menu.   A small table was set up  with some bran muffins, a couple of bananas and apples and some juice.    Yeah, that's great fuel for day of running around.   The alternative?    Either the buffet that cost $22 (after tax) or $8-12 menu items.   After mulling our choices we ordered from the menu.   By the time our food came, several others teams had arrived en masse and were discovering the same thing.   A couple of moms were pissed and letting the staff know.   There was a brief, frenzied huddle by the restaurant staff and then an announcement that the buffet was open to lacrosse players and their families.   I was staring at an $8 yogurt parfait with fruit.   My kids were already chowing down on their eggs and bacon and potatoes.  So we finished and went on our way.  

The tournament proceeded but it was time to get some lunch.   As I walked to my car, I realized that there was a shit ton of traffic.   We were right across the street from Reed Arena and the Aggie had a 1:00 pm game vs. K-State.   Now all the parking required payment.   No big deal, it was only $5.   But now our lot was closed to entry and I end up about 3 blocks away.  Did I mention that it was in the 40s with a 10-12 mph wind?   Yeah that was fun.   We finish up the day and head back to the hotel to clean up.   I valet again because we have about 90 minutes.   When we're ready to go, I call down to get the car.   I waited a few minutes because I knew there was some kind of function going on in one of the large conference rooms.    By the time we get downstairs, the car is parked on the street.   I walk over to get in and my key fob isn't there.   I go back to the valet stand ask where it is.   None of them had any idea.  It was just gone.   

Well this is fucking great.   Fortunately, I had the other one in my room.  I tell the staff "Find that key, now."   I talk to the valet manager and he says they'll look.   When we get back from dinner, still no key fob.   Valet manager is gone for the night.  I go inside and ask for the manager on duty.  Some snot nosed kid with a name tag that say "Idiot Aggie '19" comes out and says he's the manager on duty.   Are you fucking kidding me?   A senior in college is the manager?  He proceeds to tell me that this is a valet issue and I need to take it up with them.  WTF?    It's your hotel dipshit.    But after I tell him the valet manager is gone for the night and that this is unacceptable, he says that they will keep looking.   That's just great.

I decide to head up to the bar.  There's a open chair at the bar so I sit down.   Nice bar, plenty of seating and they are maybe 50% full.  There are 3 bartenders and they are all running around the bar like chickens with their heads cut off.   One of them is trying to make what looks like a martini but he started over twice.   Another one is pouring beer from a tap and making a huge mess.   As one of them swings by my end of the bar, a rather drunk woman asks for another martini.   Bartender tells her that they're out of Tito's.  She asks for Grey Goose.   Also out.    Eventually they figured out what they had.   Another woman asked for Michelob Ultra.   Also out.   By this point, I'd been there 5 minutes or so and just gave up. 

We find out this morning that the key fob still hasn't been located.   I tell the staff, I'll be back after the morning games and check out then.   After a heated argument about whether I should pay for for the valet parking, they finally took it off my bill and had me fill out some forms to get their insurance company involved to cover the loss.  

Long story short, Aggies can fuck up anything.   

 

 

 

Edited by Macanudo
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Walden Ponderer

Walden Ponderer 12639

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Your breakfast story saddens me. This town has one good breakfast place. One. There are a handful of passable breakfast taco joints, but none of them are anywhere near campus, as you might expect, having witnessed for yourself the whitest part of Texas.

The ag swag in that little slice of heaven where you stayed is perhaps a little more than what you get elsewhere in town, but not by much. Even in the more hippie friendly spots in town, you'll still see a nauseating amount of maroon, and are far too likely to see nothing but Benjamin Knox on the walls. If you don't know who that is, you aren't an aggy. He's what Bob Ross would have been if he'd had a lobotomy and someone had sucked out his soul and thrown him in sheep dip.

I cannot fucking wait to get the hell out of here.

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Scheiss Meister

Scheiss Meister 8411

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4 minutes ago, Js1 said:

Real question - how does the Texas A&M Conference Center & Hotel's aggy-themed décor and names compare to the AT&T Hotel & Conference Center on UT's campus?

I've only been to the Carillion restaurant.

We stayed at the AT&T Hotel and conference center for my daughter's (no, dammit, no pictures) orientation.  This was 2011, so they may have redecorated since then, and my recollection may be off, but I don't recall any UT specific art work in the lobby or the room.  The color scheme used burnt orange, but that seemed to me to be the extent of it.  It looked like a tastefully decorated hotel in Austin.  It certainly didn't look like the Co-op puked Longhorn decorations everywhere.

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Macanudo

Macanudo 13009

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44 minutes ago, Js1 said:

Real question - how does the Texas A&M Conference Center & Hotel's aggy-themed décor and names compare to the AT&T Hotel & Conference Center on UT's campus?

I've only been to the Carillion restaurant.

I would like to know the same thing

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Macanudo

Macanudo 13009

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Post script:  When we left I had an interesting conversation with the valet manager.  His wife is a post doc at A&M.   They came down from the NE (Boston) for her career.  Early on I said "I'm a pilgrim in an unholy land."    And he replied back "It's a cult plain and simple.   And they're all weirdos."  from there, it was pretty much just Aggie bashing.   He can't wait for her to finish so they can get the hell out of it there.   

As for the tournament, not so good.   One team went 1-1-1, the other went 1-2.   Neither had a good enough Points For/Against differential to move on.  Our program used to be pretty good (Kingwood won state a couple of years ago) but the people running it ran off some of the better players recently and we don't have enough kids to field both a high school varsity and JV without having 6-7 girls on both squads.  And even with that, there's only 1-2 subs for each team.   I think there are only 2 seniors and 2 juniors right now.   Almost half of the high school squad is freshman.

But the real news:   Valet manager called about an hour ago.   They found the keys and he even offered to drive them to Houston.   I said, nah, Fedex them and keep the insurance ticket open.   If they arrive, then we tear it up.   

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Eternal Noob

Eternal Noob 29

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Leave it to those idiots to create some bullshit symbolism to explain why it's really a good thing to have trains blaring horns in the middle of the night.

In fact, there's probably a $30 "train fee" surcharge since it's close enough to whoop! along with it when it passes gloriously in the night.

Edited by Eternal Noob
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Beau Vine

Beau Vine 54381

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14 hours ago, Bullneck said:

Fifteen years ago I went to College Station and was amazed at the lack of decent hotels.  Apparently not much has changed.  

Yeah, I've spent several weekends over there.  That hotel Mac stayed in was the one that I thought was the best of the bunch.  

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Dennis Taylor

Dennis Taylor 18853

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9 hours ago, Macanudo said:

Post script:  When we left I had an interesting conversation with the valet manager.  His wife is a post doc at A&M.   They came down from the NE (Boston) for her career.  Early on I said "I'm a pilgrim in an unholy land."    And he replied back "It's a cult plain and simple.   And they're all weirdos."  from there, it was pretty much just Aggie bashing.   He can't wait for her to finish so they can get the hell out of it there.   

As for the tournament, not so good.   One team went 1-1-1, the other went 1-2.   Neither had a good enough Points For/Against differential to move on.  Our program used to be pretty good (Kingwood won state a couple of years ago) but the people running it ran off some of the better players recently and we don't have enough kids to field both a high school varsity and JV without having 6-7 girls on both squads.  And even with that, there's only 1-2 subs for each team.   I think there are only 2 seniors and 2 juniors right now.   Almost half of the high school squad is freshman.

But the real news:   Valet manager called about an hour ago.   They found the keys and he even offered to drive them to Houston.   I said, nah, Fedex them and keep the insurance ticket open.   If they arrive, then we tear it up.   

do you know where they found the fob?

 

koons+watch.jpg

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Gardner Barnes

Gardner Barnes 1562

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On 1/27/2019 at 10:41 PM, George Clooney said:

Wasn't someone else on here there for a lacrosse tournament this weekend? I think it was @Gardner Barnes. Maybe he suffered along with you.

Yep

The town is about as aggy as you can imagine, the campus is ugly as fuck, and the area is basically one giant suburban paradise of big box stores and Red Lobsters, but other than that it wasn't too bad.

 

RE the hotel, you got fucked.  We stayed at the Aloft on University Dr.  Not a thing in the ENTIRE hotel was aggy branded or aggy related.  It could have been an Aloft anywhere.  Our experience at the tournament was positive, other than when my dumbass decided to go to dinner at Wings N' More.  Holy shit that is the aggy nexus.  

Edited by Gardner Barnes
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Gardner Barnes

Gardner Barnes 1562

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On 1/28/2019 at 8:10 AM, Walden Ponderer said:

Your breakfast story saddens me. This town has one good breakfast place. One. There are a handful of passable breakfast taco joints, but none of them are anywhere near campus, as you might expect, having witnessed for yourself the whitest part of Texas.

The ag swag in that little slice of heaven where you stayed is perhaps a little more than what you get elsewhere in town, but not by much. Even in the more hippie friendly spots in town, you'll still see a nauseating amount of maroon, and are far too likely to see nothing but Benjamin Knox on the walls. If you don't know who that is, you aren't an aggy. He's what Bob Ross would have been if he'd had a lobotomy and someone had sucked out his soul and thrown him in sheep dip.

I cannot fucking wait to get the hell out of here.

Man we had some really damn good breakfast tacos in Bryan at a place called La Familia.  Really solid Migas on par with most anything in Austin.

Edited by Gardner Barnes
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Walden Ponderer

Walden Ponderer 12639

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2 minutes ago, Gardner Barnes said:

Man we had some reppy damn good breakfast tacos in Bryan at a place called La Familia.  Really solid Migas on par with most anything in Austin.

Yep. Casa Rodriguez is pretty good, too, with a more-than-passable hot verde sauce. Jesse's Tacos can compete with anybody, also. If you ever find yourself here again, you've got the right idea -- eat in Bryan.

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Gardner Barnes

Gardner Barnes 1562

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9 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Yep. Casa Rodriguez is pretty good, too, with a more-than-passable hot verde sauce. Jesse's Tacos can compete with anybody, also. If you ever find yourself here again, you've got the right idea -- eat in Bryan.

I kind of got the idea that area probably scares the white kids in college station.  My daughter and I were the only gringos in the place.   When we walked in around 7AM, 4 old hispanic dudes were sitting at the first table eating menudo and drinking coffee.  I told my daughter that this will work.

5 tacos on homemade tortillas and 2 coffees, $15 and change including tip.  Big time thumbs up here

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ShaggyBevo RIP

ShaggyBevo RIP 3868

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On 1/31/2019 at 2:34 AM, texas08 said:

Damn, do I have to start traveling to places (def not aggyville) with both key fobs?!? Who does that! Lucky as hell!
 

I'm that nerd. I always make sure the second one is with us while traveling.  

After 20 years of carrying my last pair of glasses as a backup, when traveling, I actually needed them a couple of months ago.

Edited by ShaggyBevo RIP
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