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The Three Best Movies You've Never Seen, or Seen and Didn't Like

tantric superman

By tantric superman
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Go Pokes

Go Pokes 979

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Last Tango got my attention when Brando said, "Get the butter," and I rather liked it.  I prefer it to 95% of films since Last Tango.
If your eyes are dry during Casablanca when the hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold sings out during "La Marseillaise," you may have reptilian DNA.
I drove 35 miles and paid ripoff prices for ticket, popcorn and a soft drink only to find myself nodding off during Spectre, the latest Bond film - a waste of the actors', producers' and my time and money.
This thread is so beautifully bizarro - name "best" movies we saw but didn't like didn't see but were somehow "best"? - I am 16 again, staring at an SAT answer sheet as my #2 pencil snaps in two.  But it's stimulated some good movie posts so fuck it - good on the OP.


What the hell are you doing? You posted a bunch of weird shit last night under Hot Chick, then deleted them all, and now you’re back posting more weird stream of consciousness under a different name.
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Bama Llama

Bama Llama 1450

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Sorry, Go Pokes, I have no idea what you're talking about.  I've only had one screen name since I signed up on Surly.  I used to be on the Shag but I lost track when I thought it had died. 

Careful, Go Pokes, a 15 year old Russian punk hiding in his Babushka's hall closet may have hacked you, brother.  

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Rimbo

Rimbo 25939

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20 hours ago, tantric superman said:

I'm tried of your goddamn opinion, and your taste, and your favorite movie.

Tell us the movie you've never seen, or that you've seen and hated, that you suspect is a damn good movie, but you're just not worthy.

Shawshank Redemption. I'm sure it's amazing.

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ztejas

ztejas 43454

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12 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

I'm still waiting to hear the reasons why they hated it.  I mean, I really need to know what you'd hate it.

Maybe he rewatched it and is now biting his tounge. I remember the first time I "watched" it I got distracted or fell asleep or some shit after 40 minutes. 

When I got around to seeing it end to end it was nothing short of amazing. 

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Llano Estacado

Llano Estacado 1257

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Hell or High Water was some cheesy shit. Very inaccurate geographically. 


One of my favorites from the last few years, but does anyone consider it a “best”? Heavy on the cheese, but great for a yearly watch just for the dialogue
“Only assholes drink Mr. Pibb.” “Drink up.”
“Boy, you'd think there were ten of me.”

Don’t get me started on the geography of Texas or West Texas as depicted on film.

Here’s a wonderful shot of Halle and Hugh dinging some golf balls outside of Midland.
8253ac49d9f0358aeec94249a65be221.png

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Go Pokes

Go Pokes 979

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6 hours ago, Bama Llama said:

Sorry, Go Pokes, I have no idea what you're talking about.  I've only had one screen name since I signed up on Surly.  I used to be on the Shag but I lost track when I thought it had died. 

Careful, Go Pokes, a 15 year old Russian punk hiding in his Babushka's hall closet may have hacked you, brother.  

So you are actually claiming that you and Hot Chick aren't the same poster?  Gotcha.  You two should hang out then.  Your posting style is exactly the same nonsensical gibberish.  I suppose it's possible two females post in identical fashion and one showed up immediately after the other one posted a bunch of weird shit, deleted it, and then disappeared from a thread where she had been posting non-stop.   At least own your weirdness.  

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formermav43

formermav43 4606

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4 hours ago, oSuJeff97 said:

I don't often like to tell people their opinions are wrong, but your opinion is wrong.

Isn't that the point of the thread? Movies that you know, objectively, are regarded as great, but that you, for whatever reason, disliked? The thread is all about "wrong" opinions.

Which is why I'm not belaboring the point with a long-winded diatribe. It should be sufficient that I simply didn't like it.

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Onboard 2.0

Onboard 2.0 9083

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20 minutes ago, formermav43 said:

Isn't that the point of the thread? Movies that you know, objectively, are regarded as great, but that you, for whatever reason, disliked? The thread is all about "wrong" opinions.

Which is why I'm not belaboring the point with a long-winded diatribe. It should be sufficient that I simply didn't like it.

That's totally fair. I just like to know what the reasons are why someone doesn't like a movie or a band for that matter, what is it that turns you off to it or them ??

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XYZ

XYZ 2154

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39 minutes ago, lateshow said:

I've never seen any of the Star Wars movies, and I really have no desire to either.

I take that to mean that you haven’t seen any of the new Star Wars movies, but you did see the original trilogy and you think it’s fucking awesome.

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Onboard 2.0

Onboard 2.0 9083

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53 minutes ago, XYZ said:

I take that to mean that you haven’t seen any of the new Star Wars movies, but you did see the original trilogy and you think it’s fucking awesome.

1 and 2 great and good.

#3 ? fuck the Ewoks and their appearance in the series.  Walked out of the theater.

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RomaVicta

RomaVicta 29908

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Dr. Zhivago. Endless. David Lean has done some great work, obviously, but by the halfway point, I wanted to kill whoever composed Somewhere My Love.

Any Star Wars movie after the first one which I just thought was pretty good. Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher made it watchable. The sequels, prequels and parallels build on whatever hold that first movie got on a vast audience. I'm out of the loop. George Lucas is insufferable.

Forest Gump. Somehow the audience is convinced that there is something deeper going on there. Nope. It relies on the star power of the excellent Tom Hanks. It sucks. I was in the theater for half an hour before I was aware that the rest of the audience was loving it. 

That reminds me of ET. Same thing. I was in a loaded theater cracking jokes because I thought we all agreed it was stupid. About half way through I was getting the skunk eye from a companion. I turned purple with embarrassment at being that guy at a  movie who thinks he's mister clever. I hated the movie, but I was a dick no doubt.

I know that other people love those movies. They're not idiots (for the most part). Just taste.

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Carl Spackler

Carl Spackler 3483

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Fo realz:

Birdman -- a waste of a couple hours

North by Northwest -- boring

The Master -- needed an editor . . . badly

Just about everything I've seen by Tarantino since Pulp Fiction, which would include Jackie Brown, Kill Bill I, and Inglorious Basterds.  I get that he's probably never gonna top PF and I try to avoid comparisons in part for that reason, but I agree with whoever said that his movies have been remarkably self-indulgent.  Jackie Brown was a pale imitation of PF although it had its moments.  And Tarantino should NEVER put himself in front of the camera.  He's a terrible actor.

Avatar -- was never able to get all the way through it.  Just never grabbed me.

Lord of the Rings -- never saw any of 'em and don't have any desire

Matrix -- ditto

It's a Wonderful Life -- one of many "classics" that I've either never seen or never made it all the way through

The Pianist -- Adrien Brody bothers me for some reason.

 

 

 

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RomaVicta

RomaVicta 29908

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2 minutes ago, Carl Spackler said:

Avatar -- was never able to get all the way through it.  Just never grabbed me.

Lord of the Rings -- never saw any of 'em and don't have any desire

Matrix -- ditto

Hearty agreement except I saw a couple of LOTRs and the first Matrix.

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EvilCaseMcCoy

EvilCaseMcCoy 691

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Silence of the Lambs - tried twice, fell asleep twice

The 6th Sense - not sure if it was a great movie, but I got spoiled on the ending and had no desire to watch after that

The 5th Element - seemed pretty terrible if you ask me.  Chris Tucker is annoying and Bruce Willis isn't believable as an action guy.  Sike! The 5th element is like the best movie ever.  You want some more?

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henrygandorf

henrygandorf 29191

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how have some of you adults not seen casablanca?

i can only assume it's been mentally lumped in with other movies from the 30's-50's that seem either really long or really dated, but somehow, this is neither.  gone with the wind is 4 fucking hours long and i could never really get into it.  lawrence of arabia is really long, and i got lucky enough to see it for my first time ever in an actual theater (about 15 years ago), so it's been easy to love ever since.

seriously though, forget all the other opinionated nonsense.  casablanca is easy, likable, filled with memorable characters, and has about 25 famous quotes.  and it's 100 minutes long.  also, if you're dating/married to a younger chick, she'll dig it as well.  mine loves it and hates most anything made before the graduate or in b&w.

@BigOrange1 i'm talking to you.

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ztejas

ztejas 43454

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15 hours ago, formermav43 said:

Isn't that the point of the thread? Movies that you know, objectively, are regarded as great, but that you, for whatever reason, disliked? The thread is all about "wrong" opinions.

Which is why I'm not belaboring the point with a long-winded diatribe. It should be sufficient that I simply didn't like it.

The point of the thread is to generate discussion as is the point of any thread. I, for one, would love to hear your long-winded diatribe. It's fine if you didn't like it, but the rest of us want to know why. I can't recall meeting anyone that doesn't/didn't like Goodfellas. 

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Fozzz

Fozzz 152

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12 hours ago, Continental Op said:

Add Forrest Gump to my list as well.  It fucking sucks but it is the perfect movie for a huge portion of America who thinks they can just ricochet through life without any plan and good things will happen to them.  

This describes my feelings towards Saving Private Ryan.

Edited by Fozzz
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ztejas

ztejas 43454

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1 hour ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

The son looks at me like I've got 3 heads cause I haven't seen it.  

Oh good, you and @Carl Spackler can watch it together!

I'm just giving y'all shit. I will say I think it is the rare film that becomes more relevant and thought-provoking as it ages. The idea of "we're living in a simulation" has started to be taken much more seriously in academic circles - and it was probably a theory that was largely written off before the movie came out. 

The philosophy/physics discussions that the movie raises or touches on are probably more interesting than the film itself. 

 

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lateshow

lateshow 1304

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17 hours ago, XYZ said:

I take that to mean that you haven’t seen any of the new Star Wars movies, but you did see the original trilogy and you think it’s fucking awesome.

Nah man. I've never seen any of them. I've also never seen any of the Harry Potter franchise, and only part of the first Lord of the Rings. Fantasy is not really my genre. 

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EvilCaseMcCoy

EvilCaseMcCoy 691

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17 hours ago, henrygandorf said:

also, if you're dating/married to a younger chick, she'll dig it as well.  mine loves it and hates most anything made before the graduate or in b&w.

Obvious young girlfriend brag post by HG right here. Way to use Casablanca as a vehicle to introduce that fact.

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ztejas

ztejas 43454

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3 hours ago, henrygandorf said:

there is a list of movies that you're allowed to shame someone about not seeing.  the matrix is not on that list.

I'm unfamiliar with this list but it seems extremely arbitrary. 

If you are, for example, a film student, you absolutely need to see The Matrix. 

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BigOrange1

BigOrange1 6440

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On 1/29/2019 at 8:56 PM, henrygandorf said:

how have some of you adults not seen casablanca?

i can only assume it's been mentally lumped in with other movies from the 30's-50's that seem either really long or really dated, but somehow, this is neither.  gone with the wind is 4 fucking hours long and i could never really get into it.  lawrence of arabia is really long, and i got lucky enough to see it for my first time ever in an actual theater (about 15 years ago), so it's been easy to love ever since.

seriously though, forget all the other opinionated nonsense.  casablanca is easy, likable, filled with memorable characters, and has about 25 famous quotes.  and it's 100 minutes long.  also, if you're dating/married to a younger chick, she'll dig it as well.  mine loves it and hates most anything made before the graduate or in b&w.

@BigOrange1 i'm talking to you.

i said i know i need to watch it!

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Underdog

Underdog 28654

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Citizen Kane is my wife’s favorite, yet I’ve never watched it.  We even have the DVD it’s still in its wrapper, I’m sure.  Casablanca and LoA are a couple I’ve never really had any interest in watching.  I like both Bogart and O’Toole(MFY-Holla), Maltese, African Queen, Caine Mutiny.  Like a lot of the old gangster type movies of Cagney, Bogie, Edward G., etc...

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Onboard 2.0

Onboard 2.0 9083

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6 minutes ago, Underdog said:

Citizen Kane is my wife’s favorite, yet I’ve never watched it.  We even have the DVD it’s still in its wrapper, I’m sure.  Casablanca and LoA are a couple I’ve never really had any interest in watching.  I like both Bogart and O’Toole(MFY-Holla), Maltese, African Queen, Caine Mutiny.  Like a lot of the old gangster type movies of Cagney, Bogie, Edward G., etc...

Then you need to sit down and watch Casablanca.... ya mor-ron......  

It's bogarts coolest role (who the hell wouldn't wanna be Rick), and the supporting cast is so much fun to watch.  It's one of those films that transports you to a time and place that few films are ever able to do, even in color.

Citizen kane is cool to watch the first couple times especially if you can keep in mind how ground breaking it was.  After seeing it several times, I don't care to watch it again, for a long time, but will watch it if I happen to scroll past in the channels, depending on where in the film it is.

Edited by Onboard 2.0
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