So is Austin not keeping it Weird? Can't masturbate on Congress?

[crash_davis 23159]

https://www.statesman.com/news/20190130/woman-exposed-herself-at-two-street-patios-in-downtown-austin-police-say

Quote

The employee told police that he saw her “holding a silver object” to her genitals “with her legs straight up in the air, spread open” and that he “could hear Nickels making moaning noises,” according to the affidavit. He told police she yelled at him to get back when he tried to approach her. The employee said she was masturbating on the patio “for approximately 7 or 8 minutes” before heading to the Second Bar across the street.

 

vic prob would, maybe too skinny.  she has a few mugs on the internet.  she and the law know each other well.

 

Quote

 

[llanoflash 151]

"Officers said she continued to masturbate even after she was handcuffed and placed in the back seat of a patrol vehicle."

 

that is some intense determination right there.

[Brisketexan 105587]

I THINK this is where the "sorry for partying" goes.  But I'm not sure.

Whatever the case, this story seems to be getting a lot of buzz.

[BrazilHorn 6651]

She must have taken a lot of “Flova Scotia”

[crash_davis 23159]

She has a few arrest and mugshots from 2017 and 2018 in Abilene.  What do these crazy lowlifes all find their way to Austin. 

[Brisketexan 105587]

1 minute ago, crash_davis said:

She has a few arrest and mugshots from 2017 and 2018 in Abilene.  What do these crazy lowlifes all find their way to Austin. 

What, you think they let you masturbate in public in Abilene?

Well, I'm here to tell you, they do NOT.

I mean....so I've heard.

[Monty86 60]

1 minute ago, crash_davis said:

She has a few arrest and mugshots from 2017 and 2018 in Abilene.  What do these crazy lowlifes all find their way to Austin. 

Have you ever tried to masturbate in Abilene?  There is literally no spank bank material anywhere in sight.

[Brisketexan 105587]

4 minutes ago, Monty86 said:

Have you ever tried to masturbate in Abilene?  There is literally no spank bank material anywhere in sight.

When you gotta close your eyes and think about that one gal in Eastland....yeah.

[4th&Five 41706]

seems like a fun gal.

[phdhorn 6224]

I just went gay after reading this thread.  Thanks a fucking lot, motherfuckers!

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

Can't rub one out in Abilene...?

imgur

[Deej 77186]

"Just throw your legs in the air, and wave them like you just don't care!"

[High Plains Drifter 11057]

After reading the quote in the OP, I was bracing myself for the mugshot, but eh, not so bad. Probably would have once upon a time after a night of binge drinking (not on Congress though).

[crash_davis 23159]

7 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

After reading the quote in the OP, I was bracing myself for the mugshot, but eh, not so bad. Probably would have once upon a time after a night of binge drinking (not on Congress though).

supposedly this is the mugshot.  still would?

 

[High Plains Drifter 11057]

recalculating...

[Beau Vine 54885]

[llanoflash 151]

looks like she has lost a few lbs.

why cant i lose weight?

[AUS-97HORN 11879]

3 hours ago, crash_davis said:

supposedly this is the mugshot.  still would?

 

crazy eyes

 

i bet shes so crazy she fucks like a minx

[immortal13 4059]

21 hours ago, llanoflash said:

"Officers said she continued to masturbate even after she was handcuffed and placed in the back seat of a patrol vehicle."

 

that is some intense determination right there.

With her hands behind her back?

[crash_davis 23159]

44 minutes ago, immortal13 said:

With her hands behind her back?

anal, duh!

[crash_davis 23159]

i wait for this crazy bitch to move to austin.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

I've been troubled by something ever since first opening this thread.

I know you can't masturbate on Congress, but can you masturbate in Congress?

[Jerry Callo 8831]

9 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

I've been troubled by something ever since first opening this thread.

I know you can't masturbate on Congress, but can you masturbate in Congress?

Nancy Pelosi fantasy?

[El Diablo 4232]

14 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

I've been troubled by something ever since first opening this thread.

I know you can't masturbate on Congress, but can you masturbate in Congress?

They spend entire months just jacking off.

[woohorn 1131]

Nickels tickles so they jail'n jillin'.

 

 

[immortal13 4059]

47 minutes ago, woohorn said:

Nickels tickles so they jail'n jillin'.

 

 

I almost negged you