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North Koreans are ordered to poop profusely.

Parliament

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Parliament

Parliament 14335

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Posted

https://www.foxnews.com/world/north-koreans-ordered-to-produce-impossible-amount-of-human-manure-every-day-to-help-save-agriculture-report.amp

 

North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un has commanded every citizen to turn over an impossible 200 pounds of human manure a day for fertilizer in an effort to revitalize the communist country’s struggling agriculture, according to reports.

 

The country’s leader first made agriculture the forefront of the economic recovery during the New Year’s address.

 

This led to the mass mobilization of the population to fulfill the government’s wishes and ensure the human manure quotas are met. If the people don’t meet their daily quota, they have to supply over 600 pounds of compost or livestock manure, according to Radio Free Asia.

 

“The entire population has been mobilized to produce manure as the first major task of the year,” a source told the outlet. “The authorities in each local region task factories, institutions and citizens groups with assigning production quotas to each individual.

 

Off to the Vic Mackey food thread!

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Kennythetiger

Kennythetiger 9479

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Posted
On 1/30/2019 at 10:12 PM, Parliament said:

 

https://www.foxnews.com/world/north-koreans-ordered-to-produce-impossible-amount-of-human-manure-every-day-to-help-save-agriculture-report.amp

 

North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un has commanded every citizen to turn over an impossible 200 pounds of human manure a day for fertilizer in an effort to revitalize the communist country’s struggling agriculture, according to reports.

 

The country’s leader first made agriculture the forefront of the economic recovery during the New Year’s address.

 

This led to the mass mobilization of the population to fulfill the government’s wishes and ensure the human manure quotas are met. If the people don’t meet their daily quota, they have to supply over 600 pounds of compost or livestock manure, according to Radio Free Asia.

 

“The entire population has been mobilized to produce manure as the first major task of the year,” a source told the outlet. “The authorities in each local region task factories, institutions and citizens groups with assigning production quotas to each individual.

 

Off to the Vic Mackey food thread!

 

Maybe for you.

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gsoda3

gsoda3 3283

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, SDG said:

Given the human diet, does our poop make make good fertilizer?  Maybe @Parliament can answer. 

if you sanitize it correctly when it decomposes, yes.  but most of the time it's not done right, and i guarantee you north korea's not doing it right.  that's why one of the recent defectors (the soldier who got shot going across the dmz) had so many worms in his digestive tract. 

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RPM

RPM 26360

Posted
Posted (edited)
14 hours ago, SDG said:

Given the human diet, does our poop make make good fertilizer?  Maybe @Parliament can answer. 

A not so csb. Back in the late 80's I owned an end dump bulk truck (rock truck). I usually hauled scrap, hazmat or fertilizer. One day I get a load of humus. This is easily confused with hummus. Big difference although one can become the other, but I digress. I get to the loading address and it's a City of Houston wastewater treatment plant. Not a good sign. Unfortunately it's the right address. 

Humus, I learn, is dried human shit.

They load me and everyone is in environmental suits. I did the same to tarp the load (really regret being too cheap to buy an auto tarp) and took a long, hot, soapy shower as soon as I could. I avoid all contact with the load and it rains like hell most of the way. 

I get to Plant City, Florida and find the fertilizer place I deliver to. They direct me over to the shed they want me to unload at and there's no way. My end dump trailer unloads by lifting the front end and the load slides out. If I tried I'd rip the roof out. The only solution is for me to dump right outside the door and they push it in. I suit up, untarp and dump.

Along comes this black guy in a Bobcat and at full speed plows into the 48,000 lb pile. POOF! Instant shit cloud. It's 90something with 100% humidity and the only protection he's wearing is sunglasses, tank top and jeans. Took him about 10 minutes to move it into the bunker.

Right then it hit me. Be thankful for what you have. No matter what's happened to you in life, things could always be worse.

Edited by RPM
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Scheiss Meister

Scheiss Meister 8413

Posted
Posted (edited)

200 pounds of shit per person per day?  There can't be more than 1000 people in the whole starving country who even weigh 200 pounds, let alone shit that much.  Hell, even as full of shit as aggys are, they can't produce more than a few pounds per day, even if you give them a laxative and squeeze them.

Edited by Scheiss Meister
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gsoda3

gsoda3 3283

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Posted
200 pounds of shit per person per day?  There can't be more than 1000 people in the whole starving country who even weigh 200 pounds, let alone shit that much.  Hell, even as full of shit as aggys are, they can't produce more than a few pounds per day, even if you give them a laxative and squeeze them.
You would know
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Braff Zacklin

Braff Zacklin 13665

Posted
Posted
10 hours ago, RPM said:

Humus, I learn, is dried human shit.

It's the organic portion of topsoil, usually consisting of decomposed plant matter. Can't have fertile ground without humus.

The fertilizer industry referring to dried human fecal material as humus is not unlike the ag industry referring to cowshit as "nutrient" instead of manure--it's just a shell game with semantics.

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texasjacket

texasjacket 289

Posted
Posted
21 hours ago, Scheiss Meister said:

200 pounds of shit per person per day?  There can't be more than 1000 people in the whole starving country who even weigh 200 pounds, let alone shit that much.  Hell, even as full of shit as aggys are, they can't produce more than a few pounds per day, even if you give them a laxative and squeeze them.

So can we sell them our shit then? Talk about profit maker!

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Surly Bevo

Surly Bevo 25178

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, HornsOverIthaca said:

This is one of those times where I wonder what the collective weight of all the craps I've taken in life would be.

Average male produces 1oz of shit per 12 pounds of body weight per day...so depending on what you weighed and factoring in change from kid to wherever you are now you can get a pretty good gauge.  

On the topic of the OP it means your average likely malnourished Nork Man who let's say weights a buck 30 can likely only meet his daily goal about once a year with maybe 40-50 pounds in change to throw on top.  

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FondrenRoad

FondrenRoad 4378

Posted
Posted
On 2/2/2019 at 3:15 AM, Pato del Muerto said:

So the plan is for every North Korean to turn 5 grains of rice into 200 lbs of shit a day?

this seems like it might possibly go against the law of conservation of matter. 

I thought only KJU was magical. 

He is magical, but he doesn't shit at all. He is a closed system. Regular North Koreans have to make up the difference. 

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Judge Roybeanbag

Judge Roybeanbag 11821

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, Surly Bevo said:

Average male produces 1oz of shit per 12 pounds of body weight per day...so depending on what you weighed and factoring in change from kid to wherever you are now you can get a pretty good gauge.  

On the topic of the OP it means your average likely malnourished Nork Man who let's say weights a buck 30 can likely only meet his daily goal about once a year with maybe 40-50 pounds in change to throw on top.  

Meh, your math is shit.

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Mole

Mole 4333

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, Surly Bevo said:

Average male produces 1oz of shit per 12 pounds of body weight per day...so depending on what you weighed and factoring in change from kid to wherever you are now you can get a pretty good gauge.  

As a somewhat recently new father, either your numbers are way off or my son is way above average.

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Buffsoldier

Buffsoldier 1895

Posted
Posted
On ‎2‎/‎2‎/‎2019 at 4:59 AM, RPM said:

A not so csb. Back in the late 80's I owned an end dump bulk truck (rock truck). I usually hauled scrap, hazmat or fertilizer. One day I get a load of humus. This is easily confused with hummus. Big difference although one can become the other, but I digress. I get to the loading address and it's a City of Houston wastewater treatment plant. Not a good sign. Unfortunately it's the right address. 

Humus, I learn, is dried human shit.

They load me and everyone is in environmental suits. I did the same to tarp the load (really regret being too cheap to buy an auto tarp) and took a long, hot, soapy shower as soon as I could. I avoid all contact with the load and it rains like hell most of the way. 

I get to Plant City, Florida and find the fertilizer place I deliver to. They direct me over to the shed they want me to unload at and there's no way. My end dump trailer unloads by lifting the front end and the load slides out. If I tried I'd rip the roof out. The only solution is for me to dump right outside the door and they push it in. I suit up, untarp and dump. 

Along comes this black guy in a Bobcat and at full speed plows into the 48,000 lb pile. POOF! Instant shit cloud. It's 90something with 100% humidity and the only protection he's wearing is sunglasses, tank top and jeans. Took him about 10 minutes to move it into the bunker.

Right then it hit me. Be thankful for what you have. No matter what's happened to you in life, things could always be worse.

Shitty job.

smokey-and-the-bandit-3.png

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