Woman uses DNA test, finds sperm donor – and pays a "devastating" price

[Rusty Shackelford 414]

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/woman-finds-sperm-donor-after-using-dna-test-raising-questions-about-donor-anonymity/

Danielle Teuscher's 5-year-old daughter Zoe is one of thousands of children conceived with sperm from an anonymous donor. When Teuscher wanted to know more about her daughter's ancestry and possible health issues, she and other family members decided to get DNA tests from 23andMe and added one for Zoe. What turned up appeared to be one of the anonymous donor's immediate relatives. She was shocked.

The rest spoilered:

Spoiler

The donated sperm had come from Northwest Cryobank, which offers donors anonymity, but Teuscher said the apparent relative she found on 23andMe listed themselves as open to messaging.
 
"I said 'I don't want to cross any boundaries. I just want to let you know that we are out here and we are open to contact if you are,'" Teuscher said.  

The relative responded "I don't understand," so Teuscher said she let it go. But then she got a "cease and desist" letter from Northwest Cryobank, telling her not to contact the donor or "learn more information about his identity, background or whereabouts." The sperm bank warned it could "seek $20,000 in liquidated damages." Worst of all she said, it took back "four [4] additional vials of donor's sperm that" she "purchased" – sperm she'd planned to use to have Zoe's genetic siblings. 
 
"Devastating. I mean … I was shocked, I was crying for days, I could barely eat," Teuscher said.  "I felt embarrassed almost. Here I thought I was doing this thing I thought was in the best interest of my daughter … And then it just came back on me in just such a harsh way that made me feel like I did something terrible, like I was a criminal."
 
Northwest Cryobank told CBS News it does not prohibit DNA testing, but said "concern arises when one uses DNA test results to contact a donor and/or his family." The bank said clients like Teuscher have "contractually agreed to not independently seek the identity or attempt to contact these individuals." According to Teuscher, the contract was online.

Danielle Teuscher's 5-year-old daughter Zoe  

"I mean, you just click the boxes," Teuscher said. Plus, she said, it's not all about her.

"My daughter is an actual living, breathing, feeling human being who did not sign that contract," Teuscher said.

Contracts or not, many donor-conceived children and their families are finding each other. Wendy Kramer runs the Donor Sibling Registry, a group that connects donor-conceived children and their families. Her own donor-conceived son has found 18 half-siblings, most of them through DNA test matches.

"All of us, thousands of us, have made these connections," Kramer said. "It's a right for everybody to know the truth about their own DNA, their own background, their relatives and their medical histories."
 
Northwest Cryobank said not all donors will want that opportunity. It said "there is a human being on the other side of the gift who may have a partner, parents, job and children of his own" and uninvited contact "could jeopardize these relationships and families."

But experts say in 2019, that contact may simply be unavoidable. He said despite our best efforts, it's impossible to promise anonymity anymore.

"The problem we have now is that the science has kind of overstepped where we are, in terms of legality," said Dr. Peter McGovern, an infertility specialist.

But Teuscher said with the loss of her vials, the promise of more children could be ended for her.

"They literally took my babies. My future babies," she said. 
 
After we contacted Northwest Cryobank for this story, a representative sent Teuscher an email saying the bank would refund the money she paid for those additional vials of her donor's sperm, but did not offer to give her vials back.

The representative we spoke to at Northwest Cryobank told us that this is the only letter threatening legal action that they've ever sent to a client, to his knowledge.

 

This is the most confusing part:

Worst of all she said, it took back "four [4] additional vials of donor's sperm that" she "purchased" – sperm she'd planned to use to have Zoe's genetic siblings. 

She wanted more inbred kids?

"They literally took my babies. My future babies," she said.

Yep, a sperm donor was your only shot at future babies:

 

Edited January 31, 2019 by Rusty Shackelford

[Jerry Callo 8862]

I had to read it a couple of times, but I don't think the sperm donor is a immediate relative to the birth mother.  Looks like the 23andMe match was a immediate relative of the anonymous donor.

[Zepol87 9263]

A lot going on here. 

[Doc Reeves 6434]

She’s agreed not to search for the donor. Should’ve let her daughter do it when she’s 18 if she chooses. Mom needs to follow her agreement and stop using her daughter to justify her being selfish. 

[bschoolprof 6281]

The dna test unmasked the donor's family.  It did not indicate the donor was related to the mom.  

[Telegraph_it 3374]

Just now, Doc Reeves said:

She’s agreed not to search for the donor. Should’ve let her daughter do it when she’s 18 if she chooses. Mom needs to follow her agreement and stop using her daughter to justify her being selfish. 

Right but she just checked some boxes. 

[Doc Reeves 6434]

Nm 

Edited January 31, 2019 by Doc Reeves

[Rusty Shackelford 414]

22 minutes ago, Jerry Callo said:

I had to read it a couple of times, but I don't think the sperm donor is a immediate relative to the birth mother.  Looks like the 23andMe match was a immediate relative of the anonymous donor.

Sorry, I read that wrong, but I guess I don't understand why she was "shocked" to find a relative.  Wasn't she trying to find the donor?

[Rusty Shackelford 414]

Sorry for the fake news about the relative part.

[Vito Andolini 9228]

Coincidentally, my ex got a sperm sample from Rusty Shackleford, and here’s the kid.

[Wally Fairway 5610]

Go from 0:30

[Anastasis 23529]

What a world. 

[El Diablo 4232]

narrator - Her daughter was her own aunt.

[atomheartbevo 90149]

Really was expecting to discover the donor was related to the mom by blood. 

[ABSR 5331]

5 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

Really was expecting to discover the donor was related to the mom by blood. 

Besides the turkey baster, I think their relationship was just sementic.

[Kyle 207]

#getoffmyyard ... But a significant part of the world's outrage (student loans anyone) is from people who willfully agree to something and then get pissy when what they agreed to actually is real. #millenials

[bschoolprof 6281]

1 hour ago, Rusty Shackelford said:

Sorry, I read that wrong, but I guess I don't understand why she was "shocked" to find a relative.  Wasn't she trying to find the donor?

I think it's because she's an idiot, which I'm inferring from her comments in the article.

 

[deadshank 24653]

Negged for naming her brat Zoe. 

[miguelito 11360]

I can see why she needed a donor.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

I was expecting the child's mysterious rash and embarrassing scratching habit to have been explained by the fact that Kirk Merritt, formerly of College Station, Texas, was her jock-itch-afflicted father.

[JimmyJames 12271]

1 hour ago, atomheartbevo said:

Really was expecting to discover the donor was related to the mom by blood. 

Same. 

Seriously people suck sometimes. If the kid wants to find the donor when they’re adult then let him/her. The parent shouldn’t be getting involved in this, its stupid and selfish. 

[Surly Bevo 25542]

Looks like Woody is worried he might get hit up for child support

[WhatTheBuck 28854]

On January 31, 2019 at 4:49 PM, Rusty Shackelford said:

Sorry, I read that wrong, but I guess I don't understand why she was "shocked" to find a relative.  Wasn't she trying to find the donor?

She was shocked that they revoked the rest of the sperm she purchased after she violated the terms of her contract by reaching out to the family of the donor. 

[Rusty Shackelford 414]

She was shocked that they revoked the rest of the sperm she purchased after she violated the terms of her contract by reaching out to the family of the donor. 

I was talking about the first time in the story that it said she was “shocked” by the DNA test results.

Yes she was apparently also “shocked” when she felt the consequences of violating her contract... so what I don’t understand is why this dumbass is making the national news for this?

[WhatTheBuck 28854]

37 minutes ago, Rusty Shackelford said:

I was talking about the first time in the story that it said she was “shocked” by the DNA test results.

Yes she was apparently also “shocked” when she felt the consequences of violating her contract... so what I don’t understand is why this dumbass is making the national news for this?

Look at the headline. She "pays a devastating price." The price was losing the sperm. That's the story. Other than that, she contacted a relative of the donor, was rebuffed, and she backed off. The "shocked" part refers only to losing the sperm." It's poorly written. They probably should've said something like "She was shocked by what happened next." It's not a particularly interesting story but at least that still keeps the reader on the hook. 

[Pato del Muerto 52997]

If the dna test was under the guise of ancestry or possible hereditary medical issues, wouldn’t a reputable company provide a heritage and medical history of the donor as part of the deal?