The office shitter

[Grade of D as in David 13255]

On 2/6/2019 at 12:21 PM, Whatever said:

My office has like 2,000 people, and while always clean (thanks CBRE), they are the regular stalls with 3 stalls in each bathroom.  We have 4 floors and I just cruise the floors until I find an empty one and do the big nasty there.  I will not enter if someone is already there.  Also, I try to go quick because if someone else comes in and enters a stall, I'm out.

I do not like shitting next to someone else doing the same.  It's awkward.

I'm shitting while reading your post. 

[NWBuck 8620]

On 2/6/2019 at 10:21 AM, Whatever said:

I do not like shitting next to someone else doing the same.  It's awkward.

 

[William_Cannon 86]

Wow theres a lot of guys here with potty related phobias... I use to care like you walking all over the 40 acres to find the golden toilet, carrying this behavior into adulthood...and then I got old and stopped giving a damn provided it was reasonably clean. If someone else is in the bathroom taking a dump, I still proceed to the nearest open stall. The hell with walking up another flight of stairs just to see if it’s safe to shit . If the middle stall is the only one open and there are wingmen to the left and right, it don’t matter. Bombs away. If said wingmen have fouled the air, just quarterback the play. “All right boys, if you’ve dropped a load, do us all the courtesy and send it down the pipes. Lift up on the lever (dual flush) to avoid the accidental bidet”.. Folks generally comply and are apologetic. It may freak out some, those people will finish immediately and bug out.
Speaking of bidets, I love mine and will always try to go before I leave the house. However, contingency plan for a clean under carriage while at work is a wet paper towel. Again, don’t care if anyone else is in there and sees me get a paper towel, fold it in quarters and dampen it under the faucet. If I had Mexican food the night before, I might even get two. They know what’s up; it’s no mystery. A few have started to follow suit. If they continue on the path, others will witness as well and soon we’ll have a movement.

You see it just takes a change in your mindset to overcome your potty phobias. Focus on the mission, ignore the distractions, take control of the environment, take care of businesses, lead by example, and gtfo.

[TexArcher 38816]

On 2/5/2019 at 8:46 PM, woohorn said:

Anyone ever walk in on the cleaning lady while she's cleaning and just piss/shit anyway?

We lease an office suite in a fairly nice office complex.  The property manager sent an email to our whole firm explaining that it was not appropriate to enter and use the restroom while the female janitor was in there working.  No one will admit to being the offending shitter.  No, it was not me.  And no, I wouldn't admit it if it was, hypothetically.  But it wasn't.  And you can't prove it.

[wild_turkey 3279]

I work 8-5 with a one hour lunch at home, so it’s rare that I have to go at work. When it does happen, I have a restroom in my office that connects to the office next door, so only 2 of us use it. We’re usually there on opposite days except for one day a week, and it gets cleaned every night, so it’s actually cleaner than my home bathroom most of the time. Pretty nice setup.

[Sbbruin 22082]

Look at all you fancy boys, pooping in the "toilet".  What they hell is this wastebasket under my desk for?

[TwiceHorn 31987]

22 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

Third floor in the architecture building, right on the West Mall just off the drag. On a nice day , the windows would be open,you would get nice fresh air, and you could here the tinkling of that giant round fountain (when it worked) or the chants of whatever the protest du jour was.

 

 

 

Say what you want about shitty over-priced coffee, but Starbucks have never let me down.

 

 

Actually, shit smells are caused by a specific combination of aromatic compounds, which vary by individual and other factors (diet, overall health, etc). Actual shit is mostly bacteria and partially digested food and undigested fiber. The molecules you are smelling are not actual microscopic pieces of shit. Unless the bacteria (which are probably odorless) are becoming airborne (the mother of all sharts, or some sort of plumbing catastrophe),  I wouldn't worry about it.

Why you wanna rain on my gross-out parade???  Besides, you're going to tell me that the aromatic molecules, emanating from shit, don't pick up a few shit molecules along with their nasty selves?

[TwiceHorn 31987]

22 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

Third floor in the architecture building, right on the West Mall just off the drag. On a nice day , the windows would be open,you would get nice fresh air, and you could here the tinkling of that giant round fountain (when it worked) or the chants of whatever the protest du jour was.

 

 

 

Say what you want about shitty over-priced coffee, but Starbucks have never let me down.

 

 

Actually, shit smells are caused by a specific combination of aromatic compounds, which vary by individual and other factors (diet, overall health, etc). Actual shit is mostly bacteria and partially digested food and undigested fiber. The molecules you are smelling are not actual microscopic pieces of shit. Unless the bacteria (which are probably odorless) are becoming airborne (the mother of all sharts, or some sort of plumbing catastrophe),  I wouldn't worry about it.

Why you wanna rain on my gross-out parade???  Besides, you're going to tell me that the aromatic molecules, emanating from shit, don't pick up a few shit molecules along with their nasty selves?

[Sbbruin 22082]

17 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

Why you wanna rain on my gross-out parade???  Besides, you're going to tell me that the aromatic molecules, emanating from shit, don't pick up a few shit molecules along with their nasty selves?

[crash_davis 23465]

cross post from "lol thread".

 

[Capt 235]

My office has a private shower by the wellness office, the door locks. Team wafflestomp

[Longhornstampede 3208]

On 2/5/2019 at 3:42 PM, RollLeft said:

I miss walking into random building on the 40 (campus) taking an elevator to some empty floor and looking for a clean and ever so lonely shitter.

The 4th floor of the music building was ideal for this during my years on campus. 

[Llano Estacado 1257]

I was offsite yesterday at our engineering contractor’s office. As I was unloading in stall #2 I heard the unmistakable noise of the gentlemen in stall #1 opening a ziplock bag and wiping his ass with home brought TP or wipes.

I’m familiar with this phenomenon from my time at a previous engineering office. I don’t think anyone likes running single ply course weave tissue over their brown-eye, but it’s never occurred to me to smuggle in TP, even after I knew it was a thing.

Is this people experiencing hemorrhoids? Licensed TBPEs suffer from overly sensitive poop chutes at a greater rate than other professionals?

[Grade of D as in David 13255]

Last week hr sent out an email telling us that while the office was open for Presidents day the building was technically closed and we would have to badge in.  What they didn't tell us was that the cleaning ladies would be off as well.  All of our bathrooms were wrecked by 2pm. I had no idea that I was working with such disgusting animals. 

[MrPhlegm 3413]

While a WDW cast member the rule was onstage restroom good backstage restroom bad. There were a few exceptions. Restrooms/locker rooms in costuming were the worst.

[baboso 6101]

A few years ago, we had an Indian kid for an intern.  That little fucker would completely disrobe from the waist down, climb up on the toilet seat, and squat to shit.  And, leave the fucking stall door open.  A little disconcerting to walk by what you think is an open stall and see this, to say the least.

[Sbbruin 22082]

2 minutes ago, baboso said:

A few years ago, we had an Indian kid for an intern.  That little fucker would completely disrobe from the waist down, climb up on the toilet seat, and squat to shit.  And, leave the fucking stall door open.  A little disconcerting to walk by what you think is an open stall and see this, to say the least.

We have a Capgemini consulting office in our building and they have a bunch of Indian (dot) dudes.  The toilet seats on that floor always have shoe marks on them from them standing on the toilet seat and squatting.  WTF, man.

[CurlyDumps 4618]

Dudes and their morning dumps.  Airport men's bathrooms between the hours of 6-9 AM are more toxic than a Chernobyl sponge.

[Parliament 14560]

This thread is about to leak into the shart thread.

[baboso 6101]

2 hours ago, CurlyDumps said:

Dudes and their morning dumps.  Airport men's bathrooms between the hours of 6-9 AM are more toxic than a Chernobyl sponge.

Delta Skyclub shitters for the win.

[Bogeywon 2546]

6 hours ago, Llano Estacado said:

I was offsite yesterday at our engineering contractor’s office. As I was unloading in stall #2 I heard the unmistakable noise of the gentlemen in stall #1 opening a ziplock bag and wiping his ass with home brought TP or wipes.

I’m familiar with this phenomenon from my time at a previous engineering office. I don’t think anyone likes running single ply course weave tissue over their brown-eye, but it’s never occurred to me to smuggle in TP, even after I knew it was a thing.

Is this people experiencing hemorrhoids? Licensed TBPEs suffer from overly sensitive poop chutes at a greater rate than other professionals?

I use preparation H wipes. They have aloe so it really glides between the cheeks