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Lame joke thread

honolulu horn

By honolulu horn
in Lulz

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Armybrat
Armybrat

A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.“Have you ever done anything of particular merit?” St. Peter asked.“Well, I can think of one thing,” the cowboy offered. “On a trip to the Black

Disco Strangler
Disco Strangler

Indians on a remote reservation in Oklahoma asked their new Chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild? Since he was a Chief in modern society, he had never been taught the old secre

ernest_t_bass
ernest_t_bass

What's the difference between 2 dicks and a joke? Bob Stoops can't take a joke.

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NWBuck

NWBuck 8,629

Posted
Posted
14 hours ago, Tex Long said:

Field would be greatly improved if they would start throwing things at targets instead of just seeing how far they can throw things.

My high school team was terrible at javelin until they learned that the other team throwing first didn't mean we had to receive. 

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Superhero

Superhero 9,017

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Posted

A Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German were watching a street performance. They were straining their necks at the back of the crowd trying to get a glimpse. The performer noticed so she stepped onto a platform and asked if they could see now. Their response was.

Oui

Si

Ja

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Armybrat

Armybrat 41,388

Posted
Posted

Little Johnny again

Little Johnny asked his dad for a new bike one day. Johnny’s Dad replied I’d like to get you a new bike but we got a 280,000 dollar mortgage on the house and your mom just lost her job and we can’t afford it. Well Little Johnny went to bed sad that night.
He got up to go to the bathroom that night and walking past his parents bedroom he heard his Dad tell his Mom “ I’m pulling out and then he heard his Mom say “no wait I’m coming too.”
The next morning Little Johnny’s Dad caught him going down the sidewalk pulling his wagon full of clothes. His Dad said where do you think you’re going young man to which Little Johnny replied I’m outta here I heard you and Mom talking about pulling out and her saying to hold on because she was coming too. So I figured I’ll leave before you stick me with a 280000 dollar mortgage and no bike !

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nnm

nnm 37,896

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A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. The bartender says:
"What a strange pet, what's his name?"
"Tiny." the man replies.
"What an odd name, why do you call him tiny?"
"Because he's my newt."

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Tex Long

Tex Long 4,661

Posted
Posted

Guy's sitting in his cave, minding his own business. Hears noise in the bedroom. Goes to see what's up. Wife's got big suitcase on the bed, tossing clothes in it.

He: What're you doing, babe?

She: Packing up.

He: Where you going?

She: New York.

He: WTF! Why?

She: Facebook says prostitutes get paid $250. All they do is what I do for you, for free! 

He grabs his suitcase, starts throwing stuff in it.

She: Where are you going?

He: I'm going with you... I want to see how you're going to live on $500 a year.

 

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