50 shades of suburbia vs vanilla neighbors

[Your Mom 4,850]

Suburban Philly neighbors flip their shit because the neighbor is selling their house with a sex den in the basement.  PM Phil.

https://slate.com/human-interest/2019/02/philadelphia-sex-house-interview-with-realtor-melissa-leonard.html

 

 

[HornsOverIthaca 2,335]

You'd think the new owner will repurpose that...  The previous owner of my house kept all his Vietnam-era marine corps memorabilia in the front office, but I don't go in there and look for Charlie.

[Larry T. Spider 1,747]

Male voice: We’re very upset about this whole thing. We do not want something like this in our neighborhood. Take that off the internet. That’s disgusting. We don’t want that.

Leonard: Sir, if the owner wants those photos on the listing, that’s their choice!

Male voice: You’ve got to take them down! We live next door and we don’t want this!

This is what entitlement looks like. It’s all about what he wants and he’s going to throw a fit.

[mdmost 43,043]

Some enterprising staging company needs to start loaning out S&M furniture.

[Continental Op 3,934]

I would watch the episode of Marie Kondo where she tells the new owners of the house they only need three horsehair whips.

[El Diablo 4,232]

Is there a problem with moisture in the basement?

[JohnnyRage 1,617]

Used sex toys...that’s my jam

[clapclapclap 9,000]

Will air Thursday on HGTV's Flip or Flog.

[George 493]

More like Flip or Fap

[Celery Man 20,996]

I wonder which one is the master and which one is the property brother

[DoobieWah 1,457]

Neighbors are worried that there might be a few films left behind as well.  Amirite?

Oh, and don't forget the safe word:

 

FLÜGGÅӘNKб€ČHIŒßØLĮÊN

[gmr548 16,612]

2 hours ago, Larry T. Spider said:

Male voice: We’re very upset about this whole thing. We do not want something like this in our neighborhood. Take that off the internet. That’s disgusting. We don’t want that.

Leonard: Sir, if the owner wants those photos on the listing, that’s their choice!

Male voice: You’ve got to take them down! We live next door and we don’t want this!

This is what entitlement looks like. It’s all about what he wants and he’s going to throw a fit.

Guarantee that old couple regularly complains about how MiLlEnIaLs ArE sO eNtItLeD with straight faces.

[tbone_ 14,154]

That sex dungeon doesn’t look very dungeon like.

[Bobby_Batronic 1,994]

2 hours ago, George said:

More like Flip or Fap

Fixer Upper Ass. 

[Chilly Water 416]

Are those floors vinyl?

[Newdoc 3,452]

Is there a market in Philly for this kind of thing or is the realtor sacrificing some commission to get free publicity?

Edited February 10, 2019 by Newdoc

[Bama Chick 28,596]

I saw this on Twitter yesterday.

That place is going for $500/week nights and $2,000/night on weekends on Air B&B.

And the asking price is $750,000.

That’s like, Alabama real estate prices. I didn’t think you could still get that much house in that price range near somewhere like Philadelphia.

Doesn’t look like a shitty neighborhood.

If you can reliably rent it at those prices, not a bad deal.

And the original description was honest and hilarious and didn’t hold anything back - “And you’ll love the layout of the current basement with it’s mature adult playground or it can be converted into a typical suburban basement.”

“I mean, if you want to go with having a totally basic basement, Karen, that’s fine I guess.”

[El Diablo 4,232]

Ima go out on a limb here and guess that a sex room is pretty much a white thang. 

[Parliament 14,291]

Hotsy wash it top to bottom. Spray down with a 10% solution Clorox. Rinse with cold water and hit it with a black light. Repeat until all the bodily fluids.

Then use it for a regular gym.

[El Diablo 4,232]

Hotsy wash it? 

[Armybrat 40,892]

44 minutes ago, El Diablo said:

Ima go out on a limb here and guess that a sex room is pretty much a white thang. 

Dunno, as I thought any room could be used for that purpose.

[Parliament 14,291]

6 minutes ago, El Diablo said:

Hotsy wash it? 

High pressure, hot water with lotsa soap.

[Deej 76,903]

It’s what I imagine a basement designed by Paige Davis would look like on "Trading Spaces."

Edited February 11, 2019 by Deej

[El Diablo 4,232]

Clearly I'm not familiar with brands of power washing equipment. I just figured it was a Yankeefication of some sort. My ex was a Hoosier and they have a habit of adding a "y" sound to the end of words. Cute? No, cutesy. Etc...

[RPM 26,346]

.

Edited February 10, 2019 by RPM
wrong thread

[RPM 26,346]

.

Edited February 10, 2019 by RPM
wrong thread

[Hawndoh 2,387]

Uhhh. Wrong thread?

[RPM 26,346]

Yup. Had the AAF game thread open in a different tab and got confused (which isn't shocking).

[Llano Estacado 1,257]

Yup. Had the AAF game thread open in a different tab and got confused (which isn't shocking).

AAF? Abode annex fuckroom?

[RPM 26,346]

9 minutes ago, Llano Estacado said:

 

AAF? Abode annex fuckroom?

 

Alliance of American Football

[HornsOverIthaca 2,335]

2 hours ago, Llano Estacado said:

 

AAF? Abode annex fuckroom?

 

Excellent.

[TornACL 7,722]

I can't believe that neighbor getting irate at the listing agent. 

Who gives a fuck? 

People need to mind their own business. 

[Bobby_Batronic 1,994]

1 hour ago, TornACL said:

I can't believe that neighbor getting irate at the listing agent. 

Who gives a fuck? 

People need to mind their own business. 

Prolly thought their neighbor was having a lot of late night slinger parties and are pissed that they misheard the nature of the get togethers. 

[hookem48 4,703]

It's like they knew they were going to resale keeping the light colors

[El Diablo 4,232]

I don't see a gimp locker. Where are you supposed to keep your gimp in that dungeon? Some dungeon, doesn't even have a gimp locker. Pass.

[Aqua Buddha 14,608]

6 hours ago, Bama Chick said:

I saw this on Twitter yesterday.

That place is going for $500/week nights and $2,000/night on weekends on Air B&B.

And the asking price is $750,000.

That’s like, Alabama real estate prices. I didn’t think you could still get that much house in that price range near somewhere like Philadelphia.

Doesn’t look like a shitty neighborhood.

If you can reliably rent it at those prices, not a bad deal.

And the original description was honest and hilarious and didn’t hold anything back - “And you’ll love the layout of the current basement with it’s mature adult playground or it can be converted into a typical suburban basement.”

“I mean, if you want to go with having a totally basic basement, Karen, that’s fine I guess.”

I'm in Philly a lot.  That place is $750K and 5,000 square feet.  I agree with you.  Something is wrong.  That's a solid area.

[Lazarus Bocanegra 306]

10 hours ago, El Diablo said:

I don't see a gimp locker. Where are you supposed to keep your gimp in that dungeon? Some dungeon, doesn't even have a gimp locker. Pass.

The cage is under the bed 

[Prepuce of Doom 21,102]

16 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

Got Dayum know nothing idiot.

The gimp locker goes behind the wall with the secret door that has a dildo you pull to open.

You can't go leaving your gimp out in the open where someone can break in and steal "it".

Right - like any wall-mounted dildos in a sex dungeon aren't getting pulled. 

Secret Door 101, dude. 

[Victorious1 159]

not gonna ask about the animal hides on the floor...

[Bender Bending Rodriguez 1,693]

There’s not nearly enough people on this thread honestly intrigued by the thought of a state of the art sex room. 

[Bender Bending Rodriguez 1,693]

1 minute ago, Victorious1 said:

not gonna ask about the animal hides on the floor...

They tie the room together. 

[Victorious1 159]

3 minutes ago, Bender Bending Rodriguez said:

They tie the room together. 

what a relief.  I was waiting for the "some animals WERE harmed during the filming of __" disclaimer.

[UTPhil2006 3,811]

13 hours ago, TornACL said:

I can't believe that neighbor getting irate at the listing agent. 

Who gives a fuck? 

People need to mind their own business. 

You'd be surprised how nosy/intrusive neighbors are during a sale.  I had one basically grill me while I was putting the sign in the yard, wanted to take a tour of it, then requested that I only show it to single women.  Creepy.

[NotActuallyALonghorn 4,977]

11 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

Lulz, bro you use the small white dildo for the lever not the large black one.

Dildo use knowledge 101.

I don't have this knowledge.

[The University 851]

i consider myself far from being a prude, but i can't figure out for the life of me how to "use" some of those stations. any tips?

[Liquor and Poker 3,659]

19 hours ago, tbone_ said:

That sex dungeon doesn’t look very dungeon like.

Yep, downright tame by East Dallas standards.

[Mole 4,333]

I’m sure sex dungeon fans have a different mindset, but a sex dungeon that gets rented out regularly on Air BnB seems unsanitary.

[Liquor and Poker 3,659]

20 minutes ago, UTPhil2006 said:

You'd be surprised how nosy/intrusive neighbors are during a sale.  I had one basically grill me while I was putting the sign in the yard, wanted to take a tour of it, then requested that I only show it to single women.  Creepy.

This is why you never do open houses.  The other elementary school parents show up to look through your cabinets, drawers, and bathrooms and then gossip.  You kids come home two days later and tell you that little Jasyn in their 5th grade class overhead his mom telling Aidyn's mom that you have a short water fountain in the bathroom for "doing sex stuff."

I don't miss that neighborhood.

[Brisketexan 105,307]

Fellas, if yer livin' right....EVERY room is a sex room.

[The University 851]

don't forget...the yard isn't just for pissing.