$9.95 worth every penny

[SydneyCarton 48054]

The answer to what happened to Roach seems obvious. He started getting paid to do this for a living. Which means instead of evaluating, he also had to develop sources and give opinions on recruiting, reading kids and parents, predicting decisions, etc. You know, things that require successful interactions and building relationships with other human beings. And he’s probably now terrified of losing his job as opposed to his hobby, so he plays everything safer than Jimbo Fisher trying to cover the spread. And the result is you get a guy who can’t even give a definitive answer on whether he likes getting blowjobs. 

He fucking sucks. 

Edited January 30, 2020 by SydneyCarton

[Ok. Caol Hook Em! 56]

7 hours ago, texifornia said:

So, my issues with Roach thus far:

a) Deadly fucking boring. Dude hasn't quite learned he's not actually a journalist. There's an element of storytelling and surprise to recruiting. And even trolling - EJ didn't like Texas, but him poking aggy sometimes for shits and giggles was awesome. Roach treats a CB like a cancer diagnosis and by the time he puts it in, shit's terminal.

b) Don't give a shit about the Dallas Stars (go Sharks) or Buffalo Bills (go Texans). Even cat fancier extraordinaire EJ did a better job of keeping his Twitter generally Texas-related. Even his extracurricular nonsense was generally funny to kick around.

c) No sources. EJ at least gave a point of view. Sure it was the world's most corrupt trainers and loudmouth recruits, but it was SOMETHING we could bat around.

d) He's totally starstruck with the TXHSFB corches. I don't know if this is an attempt to groom sources or what, but it's kind of embarrassing at this point. He retweets them and flatters them constantly, and when one strikes it big-ish (Traylor, Jones, McGuire) he attaches himself to their dick with a quickness that would make a candiru proud.

In total, he's not very entertaining, he doesn't bring any new info, and he's attached himself to a pretty boring group of people that don't particularly like Texas football. 

And. Scene.

Even critiquing him is boring

[randygilman 643]

As Sydney Carton’s day working finally ended, he was so excited to get home. He knew his baby was there waiting for him, and that after a commute back to the home he had built he would be able to see the one he loved so much. However, he had been so productive during the day he had a few minutes to himself to check in on his favorite hobby, Texas recruiting. Sydney had connections and was knowledgable, so he enjoyed being able to see who was next for his beloved Longhorns. As he was searching for the latest information on Alfred Collins, he noticed one of the recruiting writers he follows said something about his personal life. “Man, what a chump,” he wondered aloud. “Look at this guy complimenting his wife!” Sydney grabbed his tin of Skoal blueberry, ready to buzz on the ride home. But he still couldn’t kick the thought of Roach calling his wife hot as he spit into his La Croix can. Sure, it wasn’t that weird for someone to compliment their significant other, but something stuck out about it. He ignored it as he went home, thinking about how soon he could see his wonderful spouse. He walks in the door and receives a warm embrace. “How was work,” was the question. “Oh, fine,” Sydney responded, “but something outside of work caught my eye.” His spouse looked perplexed. “This guy who covers recruiting called his wife hot! Can you believe that! What in the hell?” Sydney and his spouse sat through a silent dinner. His significant other could tell he was struggling. Bedtime came, and finally, Sydney’s significant other could hold her tongue no longer. “Do you think I’m hot, Sydney?” He was flabbergasted. “Of course! Why do you ask?” Tears rolled down his sweetheart’s face. “I’m just lucky enough to have someone as great as you in my life.” Sydney was awestruck by the moment in front of him. He realized he was so lucky, but also realized it was time to get ready to sleep to be prepared for the next day. 

“I love you, Sydney,” his wife said

Sydney responded. ”I love you too, CTJ.”

[SydneyCarton 48054]

Well that was bizarre. But enjoy the upvotes my man. 

[Katfid54 8596]

3 hours ago, SydneyCarton said:

The answer to what happened to Roach seems obvious. He started getting paid to do this for a living. Which means instead of evaluating, he also had to develop sources and give opinions on recruiting, reading kids and parents, predicting decisions, etc. You know, things that require successful interactions and building relationships with other human beings. And he’s probably now terrified of losing his job as opposed to his hobby, so he plays everything safer than Jimbo Fisher trying to cover the spread. And the result is you get a guy who can’t even give a definitive answer on whether he likes getting blowjobs. 

He fucking sucks. 

I, for one, can firmly and proudly say that after much deliberation and thought--after a season of prayerful and introspective deliberation--I, in fact, do enjoy getting blowjobs.

[Katfid54 8596]

18 minutes ago, randygilman said:

As Sydney Carton’s day working finally ended, he was so excited to get home. He knew his baby was there waiting for him, and that after a commute back to the home he had built he would be able to see the one he loved so much. However, he had been so productive during the day he had a few minutes to himself to check in on his favorite hobby, Texas recruiting. Sydney had connections and was knowledgable, so he enjoyed being able to see who was next for his beloved Longhorns. As he was searching for the latest information on Alfred Collins, he noticed one of the recruiting writers he follows said something about his personal life. “Man, what a chump,” he wondered aloud. “Look at this guy complimenting his wife!” Sydney grabbed his tin of Skoal blueberry, ready to buzz on the ride home. But he still couldn’t kick the thought of Roach calling his wife hot as he spit into his La Croix can. Sure, it wasn’t that weird for someone to compliment their significant other, but something stuck out about it. He ignored it as he went home, thinking about how soon he could see his wonderful spouse. He walks in the door and receives a warm embrace. “How was work,” was the question. “Oh, fine,” Sydney responded, “but something outside of work caught my eye.” His spouse looked perplexed. “This guy who covers recruiting called his wife hot! Can you believe that! What in the hell?” Sydney and his spouse sat through a silent dinner. His significant other could tell he was struggling. Bedtime came, and finally, Sydney’s significant other could hold her tongue no longer. “Do you think I’m hot, Sydney?” He was flabbergasted. “Of course! Why do you ask?” Tears rolled down his sweetheart’s face. “I’m just lucky enough to have someone as great as you in my life.” Sydney was awestruck by the moment in front of him. He realized he was so lucky, but also realized it was time to get ready to sleep to be prepared for the next day. 

“I love you, Sydney,” his wife said

Sydney responded. ”I love you too, CTJ.”

Sexless marriage?  Unsurprising.

[BrazilHorn 6586]

It is unfortunate that Texas really has such shitty coverage both in local media and the $9.95 circuit. 

[Burt Macklin 19020]

30 minutes ago, randygilman said:

As Sydney Carton’s day working finally ended, he was so excited to get home. He knew his baby was there waiting for him, and that after a commute back to the home he had built he would be able to see the one he loved so much. However, he had been so productive during the day he had a few minutes to himself to check in on his favorite hobby, Texas recruiting. Sydney had connections and was knowledgable, so he enjoyed being able to see who was next for his beloved Longhorns. As he was searching for the latest information on Alfred Collins, he noticed one of the recruiting writers he follows said something about his personal life. “Man, what a chump,” he wondered aloud. “Look at this guy complimenting his wife!” Sydney grabbed his tin of Skoal blueberry, ready to buzz on the ride home. But he still couldn’t kick the thought of Roach calling his wife hot as he spit into his La Croix can. Sure, it wasn’t that weird for someone to compliment their significant other, but something stuck out about it. He ignored it as he went home, thinking about how soon he could see his wonderful spouse. He walks in the door and receives a warm embrace. “How was work,” was the question. “Oh, fine,” Sydney responded, “but something outside of work caught my eye.” His spouse looked perplexed. “This guy who covers recruiting called his wife hot! Can you believe that! What in the hell?” Sydney and his spouse sat through a silent dinner. His significant other could tell he was struggling. Bedtime came, and finally, Sydney’s significant other could hold her tongue no longer. “Do you think I’m hot, Sydney?” He was flabbergasted. “Of course! Why do you ask?” Tears rolled down his sweetheart’s face. “I’m just lucky enough to have someone as great as you in my life.” Sydney was awestruck by the moment in front of him. He realized he was so lucky, but also realized it was time to get ready to sleep to be prepared for the next day. 

“I love you, Sydney,” his wife said

Sydney responded. ”I love you too, CTJ.”

[KYHorn 17011]

 

[HenryJames 66035]

4,3

2,1

[Thiefery 4995]

2 hours ago, KYHorn said:

 

ahhh so this explains all the best in the biz FCB tweets she was posting in December and January...

[BrazilHorn 6586]

Jeez she basically cushioned her fall with her breast and her face. Crazy.

[satyanash 14473]

Rivals more or less admitting that Patrick Mahomes was one of their biggest mis-evaluations.

Interesting that they're admitting this now, as opposed to last year when he won NFL MVP and was one boneheaded offsides play away from going to the Super Bowl.

 

[texifornia 56859]

wrong thread dammit

Edited February 3, 2020 by texifornia

[texifornia 56859]

wrong thread x2

Edited February 3, 2020 by texifornia

[cafe society 2860]

On 1/28/2020 at 11:24 AM, Burt Macklin said:

First, you can go fuck yourself, pal. It’s not about whether I could find pictures of her if I tried. It’s the principle of the matter.
 

Second, yeah... “hot” is not a word I’d use to describe her. Those pictures are much more in line with what I thought Roach could pull. 

She's a Vic Mackey special.  

[satyanash 14473]

Nice piece on the early days of recruiting rankings, before Rivals and 247Sports existed:

 

[OnAComputer 1405]

On 1/28/2020 at 11:22 AM, Katfid54 said:

With all the flack Roach is getting for his podcast, somewhere @OnAComputeris very awkwardly giggling into a microphone.

Roach is a good dude. He's always been kind to me and has never given me a reason to dislike him. He's one of the more likable guys in that business. Also, hosting a podcasting is a lot harder than being the cohost, and he does a good job of it. You're not always having to think of how to transition, what everything sounds like, how much time you need to spend on a certain topic before it starts to get boring, and other shit. It's also not what he spends the most time on either. And a reminder that he's really only been doing this professionally for like... 3 years?

On 1/28/2020 at 11:26 AM, Goodman said:

At least now DT calls him out on the spot and that has made their work worth a listen. DT has a great eye for football.

DT is an awesome dude. Love having his knowledge about what goes on behind the scenes on and off the field. 

On 1/28/2020 at 11:31 AM, Burt Macklin said:

I wonder what sock Baizer uses on Surly to bash Roach? 70Nickels? 14Quarters?  

350pennies

Edited February 4, 2020 by OnAComputer

[Katfid54 8596]

4 minutes ago, OnAComputer said:

Roach is a good dude. He's always been kind to me and has never given me a reason to dislike him. He's one of the more likable guys in that business. Also, hosting a podcasting is a lot harder than being the cohost, and he does a good job of it. You're not always having to think of how to transition, what everything sounds like, how much time you need to spend on a certain topic before it starts to get boring, and other shit. It's also not what he spends the most time on either. And a reminder that he's really only been doing this professionally for like... 3 years?

DT is an awesome dude. Love having his knowledge about what goes on behind the scenes on and off the field. 

350pennies

[Chopper 17230]

1 hour ago, OnAComputer said:

DT is an awesome dude. Love having his knowledge about what goes on behind the scenes on and off the field. 

 

You do a helluva job. I thought the football podcast would take a hit when Mike left due to limiting the amount of recruiting news, but DT was a great pick up. I also enjoy pretend we're football...especially considering how badly the team sucks. 

[texifornia 56859]

Meanwhile, ole Mike livetweeted the Stars game and wrote an article about putting in CBs other people already did, based on other people's reporting

 

[Ricky's one-hitter 9084]

Which one of you knuckleheads is @FancyLawnMower? 

 

 

 

[Katfid54 8596]

lol @ "sitting" on that 20-year old photo.

Bitch that shit's the third picture that comes up on a google image search.

Here's the first which is almost as unflattering:

And here's the 8th which is.... something

[Sabalo 994]

2 minutes ago, Katfid54 said:

lol @ "sitting" on that 20-year old photo.

Bitch that shit's the third picture that comes up on a google image search.

Here's the first which is almost as unflattering:

And here's the 8th which is.... something

Well the pic in the tweet certainly wasn't the most embarrassing pic out there.

[Doc Reeves 6434]

47 minutes ago, Katfid54 said:

Its my fault, I beat up kids like him in HS. 

[Katfid54 8596]

1 minute ago, Doc Reeves said:

Its my fault, I beat up kids like him in HS. 

User name checks out apparently didn't come with the Hippocratic oath.

[pacman 7355]

58 minutes ago, Ricky's one-hitter said:

Which one of you knuckleheads is @FancyLawnMower? 

 

 

 

Imagine getting to UT, flunking out, having to graduate from SWT and still being so lazy you can't even do a 6 figure job competently.

Edited February 5, 2020 by pacman

[Chopper 17230]

18 hours ago, pacman said:

Imagine getting to UT, flunking out, having to graduate from SWT and still being so lazy you can't even do a 6 figure job competently.

The similarities he shares with Michael Dell are amazing. Except for the SWT, lazy and 6 figure parts.

Edited February 6, 2020 by Chopper

[satyanash 14473]

it seems Mike Roach has inherited E.J.'s penchant for travel struggles.

 

[texifornia 56859]

BON posted about the crowd at a UNC game they were at, comparing it to Texas basketball crowds, that was such a sad-sack wallow in self-pity that even they realized it was pathetic and deleted it quickly and replaced it with this:

 

[Scholz 11938]

The TSA is completely worthless.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

On 2/8/2020 at 10:02 PM, Scholz said:

The TSA is completely worthless.

Not to stand-up comics short on material.

[Treefidy 1463]

On 2/5/2020 at 2:07 PM, Katfid54 said:

lol @ "sitting" on that 20-year old photo.

Bitch that shit's the third picture that comes up on a google image search.

Here's the first which is almost as unflattering:

And here's the 8th which is.... something

In my mind the guy on the left looks like CTJ and Sydney is grabbing ketch junk.  

Kinda like guessing what someone looks like based on their phone voice, I probably got it backwards.  

[SydneyCarton 48054]

2 minutes ago, Treefidy said:

In my mind the guy on the left looks like CTJ and Sydney is grabbing ketch junk.  

Kinda like guessing what someone looks like based on their phone voice, I probably got it backwards.  

That first one, pretty sure is a wedding photo. 

[Treefidy 1463]

2 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

That first one, pretty sure is a wedding photo. 

that poor photographer, I'm guessing it was taken before photoshop came around and they probably spent hours trying to find a "good" angle.  

[satyanash 14473]

1 hour ago, Treefidy said:

that poor photographer, I'm guessing it was taken before photoshop came around and they probably spent hours trying to find a "good" angle.  

eh, I've seen worse wedding photos.

 

[texifornia 56859]

9 minutes ago, satyanash said:

eh, I've seen worse wedding photos.

 

#highfashion

[DixonHur 11292]

11 hours ago, satyanash said:

eh, I've seen worse wedding photos.

 

That photographer sucks, he obviously left the beautiful woman just out of frame.

[pacman 7355]

jesus fucking christ

[Chopper 17230]

I get not wanting to wear traditional wedding attire but that shouldn't mean you show up looking like a slob who just hopped off his skateboard that in reality you're too old to be riding anyway. EJH is such a cunt.

[Doc Reeves 6434]

12 hours ago, texifornia said:

#highfashion

 

[pacman 7355]

31 minutes ago, Chopper said:

I get not wanting to wear traditional wedding attire but that shouldn't mean you show up looking like a slob who just hopped off his skateboard that in reality you're too old to be riding anyway. EJH is such a cunt.

i can not reconcile a single thing about that outfit.

hat indoors, while the girl is at least dressed up a bit

highwater pants

tennis shoes

a fucking ernie sweater

the only chin pube nest I have ever seen actually worse than Lucci's

and people pay this idiot for anything other than cleaning toilets?

you see what you recruiting nerds have created?

[Doc Reeves 6434]

3 minutes ago, pacman said:

high-water pants

Man, he actually rolled those pant legs. 
 

this looks like a picture of a HS dropout who works at GameStop with his mom at someone else’s Wedding.
 

[Dijon Robinson 1511]

13 hours ago, satyanash said:

eh, I've seen worse wedding photos.

 

From my limited streetwear knowledge:

Hat - probably $150-200 due to it being Heron Preston but can't find the exact model

Cardigan - $412 (https://shop.doverstreetmarket.com/us/comme-des-garcons/play/knitwear/black-play-men-s-cardigan-grey)

Jeans - not sure but Neil Barrett stuff usually runs around $600 (https://www.neilbarrett.com/us/sets/man/denim?colors=1&pageIndex=1&sort=requestproductsids&sortDirection=asc)

Shoes - $415 (https://www.farfetch.com/shopping/men/off-white-vulcanized-low-top-platform-sneakers-item-14052738.aspx?storeid=12572)

Total - $1500-1600

[texifornia 56859]

13 minutes ago, ChampionshipLevelPiss said:

From my limited streetwear knowledge:

Hat - probably $150-200 due to it being Heron Preston but can't find the exact model

Cardigan - $412 (https://shop.doverstreetmarket.com/us/comme-des-garcons/play/knitwear/black-play-men-s-cardigan-grey)

Jeans - not sure but Neil Barrett stuff usually runs around $600 (https://www.neilbarrett.com/us/sets/man/denim?colors=1&pageIndex=1&sort=requestproductsids&sortDirection=asc)

Shoes - $415 (https://www.farfetch.com/shopping/men/off-white-vulcanized-low-top-platform-sneakers-item-14052738.aspx?storeid=12572)

Total - $1500-1600

All for the cumulative effect of looking like a GameStop employee who forgot his shift was on that day at his own wedding. Crushing it.

[SydneyCarton 48054]

50 minutes ago, pacman said:

i can not reconcile a single thing about that outfit.

hat indoors, while the girl is at least dressed up a bit

highwater pants

tennis shoes

a fucking ernie sweater

the only chin pube nest I have ever seen actually worse than Lucci's

and people pay this idiot for anything other than cleaning toilets?

you see what you recruiting nerds have created?

A market of interest where a huge corporation pays a minuscule salary that only young hipster, dipshits, washed up idiot retreats, and Jeff Howe will work for? There's a couple exceptions to that rule, specifically guys that have ownership stakes or their pay is tied to subscription numbers, but yeah. 

EJ was going to be a faget regardless of what he did for a living, sir. 

[satyanash 14473]

1 hour ago, Chopper said:

I get not wanting to wear traditional wedding attire but that shouldn't mean you show up looking like a slob who just hopped off his skateboard that in reality you're too old to be riding anyway. EJH is such a cunt.

 

[pacman 7355]

2 hours ago, Doc Reeves said:

Man, he actually rolled those pant legs. 
 

this looks like a picture of a HS dropout who works at GameStop with his mom at someone else’s Wedding.
 

fuck. i did not catch that he purposely rolled them up

over/under on the number of times his wife cucks/pegs him every week?

Edited February 11, 2020 by pacman

[cafe society 2860]

On 2/10/2020 at 9:10 PM, texifornia said:

#highfashion

He definitely looks high.

[Ricky's one-hitter 9084]

14 hours ago, cafe society said:

He definitely looks high.

How dare you, sir.