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Posted

That's an easy one.  Shot a smooth 111 at Lost Pines in Bastrop State Park before it burnt down.  I lost count after I hit my 10th tree.  I hit random limbs, pine saplings 2 inches in diameter, and plenty of others.  After a while it just got kind of funny.  Good thing I was drinking.

Posted

So I was standing on the tee box today, and I realized, ever since I started golfing, every single round of golf has been worse than the round before it. So that means that every round that I play, that's the worst round of my life.

  • Like 2
Posted

165 at Texas Star. Actually started par par. Third hole is par 3. All of the sudden it was like I had never swung a golf club before. I think I wound up with a 15. I decided at that point I’m counting every damn stroke and penalty. It became pretty comical.

I was in the high 130s after 15 Told a buddy if I went over 160 I’d pay for his round but if didn’t he’d pay for mine. He didn’t take the bet.

Posted

Has to be at the Falls in New Ulm in the early 90's coming back from a guys weekend in Austin. I was hungover, it was extremely windy and I wasn't playing much (just had a baby) and I probably shot a 105. That was my last round for about 5 years.

Posted

I went 72-70 on some nondescript course near Hilton Head a few years back. Yes, that was for 18. As you can see, I started getting it together a little on the back 9. 

  • Like 2
Posted

Two frat brothers of mine are terribad golfers but extremely competitive when playing against each other.  Their standing bet is a 12 pack of beer / all strokes counted.  

We played a pine-lined course in Houston a few years back and they had their usual hackfest: spewing balls left and right, skulls, chili dips, missed 2 footers and worm burners.  It was pure gold as they are very good sports about it and fun to play with.  

Coming into the 18th, one was up 11 strokes on the other.  The one that was down 11 presses for a full case of beer...remember he was down 11 strokes.

He came back to win the round and a full case of beer.  He won by 14 strokes.  That’s a 25 stroke turn around in one hole.  

I and one other buddy witnessed it.  It was gut wrenching and hilarious at the same time. 

  • Like 1
Posted
So I was standing on the tee box today, and I realized, ever since I started golfing, every single round of golf has been worse than the round before it. So that means that every round that I play, that's the worst round of my life.

Wow. That’s messed up
  • Like 2
Posted (edited)

I got matched up with two octogenarians several years ago at Morris Williams.  One of the old guys shit his pants on the 10th hole and played the entire back nine covered in his shit.  COVERED.  Like, the back of his khakis from the butthole to the shoes were no longer khaki.   

Edited by Go Pokes
  • Like 1
Posted
I got matched up with two octogenarians several years ago at Morris Williams.  One of the old guys shit his pants on the 10th hole and played the entire back nine covered in his shit.  COVERED.  Like, the back of his khakis from the butthole to the shoes were no longer khaki.   

You win.
Posted
So I was standing on the tee box today, and I realized, ever since I started golfing, every single round of golf has been worse than the round before it. So that means that every round that I play, that's the worst round of my life.



Wow. That’s messed up


Golf clap.

Nice alley-oop and finish for both of you.
Posted
22 hours ago, Go Pokes said:

I got matched up with two octogenarians several years ago at Morris Williams.  One of the old guys shit his pants on the 10th hole and played the entire back nine covered in his shit.  COVERED.  Like, the back of his khakis from the butthole to the shoes were no longer khaki.   

Fuck.... /thread

Posted (edited)
On 3/29/2018 at 9:08 AM, Fudbelty said:

165 at Texas Star. Actually started par par. Third hole is par 3. All of the sudden it was like I had never swung a golf club before. I think I wound up with a 15. I decided at that point I’m counting every damn stroke and penalty. It became pretty comical.

I was in the high 130s after 15 Told a buddy if I went over 160 I’d pay for his round but if didn’t he’d pay for mine. He didn’t take the bet.

Worst round?  I was playing a Texas Star recently and some bastard in the foursome ahead of us shot 165.  He didn’t know when to pick up.

Edited by ruitxn
Posted
I got matched up with two octogenarians several years ago at Morris Williams.  One of the old guys shit his pants on the 10th hole and played the entire back nine covered in his shit.  COVERED.  Like, the back of his khakis from the butthole to the shoes were no longer khaki.   


Pretty tough to top that one.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Posted
On ‎3‎/‎29‎/‎2018 at 4:02 PM, Go Pokes said:

I got matched up with two octogenarians several years ago at Morris Williams.  One of the old guys shit his pants on the 10th hole and played the entire back nine covered in his shit.  COVERED.  Like, the back of his khakis from the butthole to the shoes were no longer khaki.   

I tried to hold it.

Posted

Man, I had one the shittiest rounds of my life two weeks back. I was hitting everything chunky, and scrapped together a 98 due to some our of my ass putting. Weather has prevented me from going back out, but I am still in my head about the last round.

Posted

I usually shoot in low 90's to high 80's (with like 3 mulligans only on tee)

Worst was a 122...hit every water hazard hit trees non stop

Two of the "highlights" were one hole i crushed my drive but had a tree in front of me about 20 yards. Tried to hit a low shot around it but smacked the tree and had to duck as ball came screaming back at me at cost me about 60 yards.

Then later i took a swing that went horribly wrong and just threw my club into a tree and broke shaft 

Posted

I shot 106 on Osprey Point (Kiawah Island) a day after shooting 86 on the Ocean Course.  Two 8 man teams were there for a long golf weekend.

Ryder Cup style play and I had been talking shit to my opponent the night before pretty severely.  So not only did I eat shit, I got a running commentary on it for 18 miserable holes.

  • Like 1
Posted

One time I was playing with some old golf balls that had been in my garage for several years. Teeing off with one of them and it split in half. As in, half the ball went one direction, the other half went somewhere else. How do you score that? Which half ball do you play? I never figured it out.

Posted (edited)

Take a knee, it's a long one.

When I was going in to the seventh grade, my family moved out to the 'burbs, (1972). It wasn't really too far out even then - Inwood Forest at the end of Antoine in Houston. Our house backed up to the first hole of the West Nine at the Inwood Forest Country Club.  It was your typical fairly small CC. My father didn't play golf so we didn't join. Nevertheless, I obviously knew a lot of people who did and I got my first set of clubs pretty soon thereafter. Got pretty good too for a kid with no formal lessons. Anyway, on nice evenings I would just walk out the backdoor with a 7, wedge and putter and hack away for three or four holes. My short game was excellent. Mom and dad got divorced and the sibs and I stayed with mom at the house.

Mom got remarried a few years later and my step dad did join the club. Yay! I caddied, worked for the club picking up range balls, spent a lot of time on the putting green and pitching green. I really enjoyed it.

Went away to Texas and my roommate at Jester was black. He played golf also and so I took him to Inwood when we were in town that spring and we got about three holes in when I heard it from across the bayou.

 

"Get that ni**er off the course!"

 

I said "What?" obviously having misheard the man.

 

So he repeated it a little louder.

 

We finished the nine, (screw those guys!) but I felt pretty shitty about it. My roommate shrugged it off, but I think he was mostly embarrassed for me.

 

The next day, my stepdad comes in and said that since I was out of high school, the club said I couldn't play there anymore without being a guest.

 

That was the "worst round of golf" in my life and I've never played a hole since.

 

Edited by DoobieWah
Posted

Played Princeville in Hawaii with FIL and uncles. Lost 21 balls due to the high winds and my general shitty golf skills. Apologized to my playing partners and vowed to play much better on day 2. The next day I lost 22 balls.

Posted

Years ago playing the Hills CC with some gambling buddies, I made the turn at -1 from the tips and leading the money. That's when everyone started to speculate what I was at, -1, -2? And the back nine was absolute shit. I folded and ended up 35 - 51. Lol. My game is terrible today, if i play, which hasn't been in a year, I play nine and don't keep score.

Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk

Posted

in 2000 i  started sunday one shot back in my club championship.  i made birdie on 17 to take a one shot lead.  last hole was a par 5. i knock it on in two.  the guy who is one back is in my group. he hit it in the shit, chipped out and then missed the green. he now  has a 20 footer far par. i have a 20 footer for eagle.

he makes and i 4 putt.

i lost the playoff.

 

 

  • Like 2
Posted
1 hour ago, llanoflash said:

in 2000 i  started sunday one shot back in my club championship.  i made birdie on 17 to take a one shot lead.  last hole was a par 5. i knock it on in two.  the guy who is one back is in my group. he hit it in the shit, chipped out and then missed the green. he now  has a 20 footer far par. i have a 20 footer for eagle.

he makes and i 4 putt.

i lost the playoff.

 

 

That's when you take all your Golf shit and put it on Craigslist Free Stuff, and toss it all out by the curb. Fuck that.

Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, llanoflash said:

in 2000 i  started sunday one shot back in my club championship.  i made birdie on 17 to take a one shot lead.  last hole was a par 5. i knock it on in two.  the guy who is one back is in my group. he hit it in the shit, chipped out and then missed the green. he now  has a 20 footer far par. i have a 20 footer for eagle.

he makes and i 4 putt.

i lost the playoff.

 

 

I’ve never broken 100, and usually stop counting around the turn and just try to make shots.  So I never have to worry about issues like this. There’s very little pressure in ineptitude. 

Edited by Pato del Muerto
  • Like 1
Posted
3 hours ago, TornACL said:

That's when you take all your Golf shit and put it on Craigslist Free Stuff, and toss it all out by the curb. Fuck that.

Yeah. Didn’t play in our club championship for a few years after. That story still comes up in the clubhouse. Gets big laughs. 

Posted
On 4/10/2018 at 4:11 PM, Bat Guano said:

One time I was playing with some old golf balls that had been in my garage for several years. Teeing off with one of them and it split in half. As in, half the ball went one direction, the other half went somewhere else. How do you score that? Which half ball do you play? I never figured it out.

The stroke is cancelled and you hit again, without penalty from the original spot.

Posted
6 hours ago, RegularSizedRudy said:

The stroke is cancelled and you hit again, without penalty from the original spot.

Thanks. I'm not a good/serious enough player for it to make a shit.

Posted

I don't play enough, or give a shit enough, to be very good. However, the one thing I can do is hit the ball a very very long way off a tee. One time I sliced the tee shot into the stands of a soccer field that was probably 200 yards to the right of the green. No one was hit, luckily.

Posted

Post bachelor party golf get together 1999. Total shit show. Guys were literally shitting themselves from some cut up with who know what fuck shit the previous night. At the turn I ask one of the cats how their looking on their card.

Him- “Who give a fuck?...as he pulls out a Bic lighter and sets some paper on fire. Dude had burned every card in our group. Back nine was like the Aristocrats Open as shit started to go further south.

Posted

Shortly after I moved to Houston in 2013 decided I'd play a Golf Channel Am event at Moody Gardens in Galveston.  The week leading up to it, Houston had an ice storm roads were closed, people stuck on bridges and overpasses.  Friday afternoon they start reopening some roads, get up Saturday and head down to Galveston 34 degrees and about a 5 club wind.  Most miserable round I've ever played.  Tried to just tough it out brought home a smooth 106.  Wanted to throw my clubs in the gulf right there.  

  • 4 weeks later...
Posted (edited)
On 3/29/2018 at 9:17 AM, Felix said:

That's an easy one.  Shot a smooth 111 at Lost Pines in Bastrop State Park before it burnt down.  I lost count after I hit my 10th tree.  I hit random limbs, pine saplings 2 inches in diameter, and plenty of others.  After a while it just got kind of funny.  Good thing I was drinking.

I also got my ass kicked by Lost Pines once before the fire.  I think I may have quit keeping score.  It was brutal.

Edited by wreckatx
Posted

Playing in our club’s junior championship when I was 12, the first hole is a par three.  Knock it stiff within two feet and proceed to miss the putt.  Knocked the shit out of my drive on the next tee but it finds some British Open type rough, we’re talking knee high hay.  I think it took five shots to get back in the fairway.  Third tee, skull the tee shot into the tee box in front of us, hits a tee marker and flies 20 yards behind me.  

The rest of the round kept was worse.

Posted
...skull the tee shot into the tee box in front of us, hits a tee marker and flies 20 yards behind me.  
The rest of the round kept was worse.


lol! Had something similar happen to me out at River Place several years ago. Can’t remember the hole number, but it was a pretty straight par-5 headed to the clubhouse. I absolutely creamed a power pull off the tee. The ball bounces one time before hitting a pole or a tree just adjacent to the gently serpentined cart path on the left side of the fairway. That ball managed to bounce about a dozen times all the way back down the cart path before resting maybe 50 yds from the tee. The guys playing with me could hardly control their laughter as I faded into a state of absolute disbelief.
Posted
20 hours ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

 Third tee, skull the tee shot into the tee box in front of us, hits a tee marker and flies 20 yards behind me.  

 

Someone told me that one of the rules of golf is that when your tee shot ends up behind you, for whatever reason, you have to pull your pants down and run around the tee box. So you had to do that, right?

Posted
30 minutes ago, Bat Guano said:

Someone told me that one of the rules of golf is that when your tee shot ends up behind you, for whatever reason, you have to pull your pants down and run around the tee box. So you had to do that, right?

Your group isn't hardcore like mine... we had to play the rest of the hole sans britches.

Posted

I've been working through a swing change all winter.  I went down to scottsdale about 1/2 way through the change and played Greyhawk with my attorney.  He's a 0.5 index and I'm a 15.1.  The slope on the talon course was only 134 but if you weren't on the fairway you were done.  I lost my consistency with a driver, then 3 wood, then 3 iron.  By the 11th hole I couldn't hit the fairway from the tee box regardless of the club I pulled.  Shot 113 hitting 3 off the tee on all but 1 hole on the backside.  The scary thing is that I was putting reasonably well.  I had something like 27 or 28 putts on the day.

A round like that is an absolute mental beating.

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