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The Germany Thread


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These are all private. Just…people blowing shit up, all over. And I’m going to die. We started drinking beer from Bavaria…and worked our way north. I just had my beer from the Baltic coast. I wasn’t allowed to leave till we covered the north, beer-wise.

Also…I gotta tell ya, it’s weird watching Germany light up the night sky in all directions with artillery. It legit feels like a fucking air raid.

Fuck I’m tired, and my head already hurts.

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Made breakfast tacos for the Germans today as it snowed outside.

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They genuinely enjoyed.

Then, they took extra tortillas and spread Nutella on them. Because Germans. They asked if it was ok, we explained that we put anything and everything on tortillas, so go for it.

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6 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Made breakfast tacos for the Germans today as it snowed outside.

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They genuinely enjoyed.

Then, they took extra tortillas and spread Nutella on them. Because Germans. They asked if it was ok, we explained that we put anything and everything on tortillas, so go for it.

I can attest to the obsession with Nutella. For years the boys, it seemed, only ate Nutella for breakfast.

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“NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN!” That was the response we got from the legendary Ilse Schreiber as we reached the window at her iconic wurst stand in the Kleinmarkthalle in Frankfurt. Our daughter tried to tell her our order, a selection of the different wursts available (see the wooden sign). Ilse cut her off with a series of “NEINs!” She explained that this is what she had left that was hot, so this is what we’d get: 2 pieces of krakauer, and 2 pieces of fleischwurst. So that’s what we got. And they were delicious. Ilse stands as testament to the proposition that the greatest monuments are not made of stone, they’re the unique people who symbolize and personify a space. And if Ilse reminds you of Tootsie from Snow’s BBQ…yep, the similarities are obvious. They each sell their specialized deliciousness, and are the face of their craft and their community. Very glad we stopped in. You should do so if you ever end up in Frankfurt. Tell Ilse we said “hello”…if she doesn’t cut you off…gotta keep that line movin’.

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Solid little lunch right there.

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Spent yesterday heading up the Rhine:

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We were right across from Bonn, and you could see the Koln Cathedral spires in the distance. Still one of the most impressive structures we’ve ever seen.

Some grub:

A German pasta dish, made with big potato dumplings, beef, roasted tomato paste, cabbage, and onions.

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Snack plates with all the meats:

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A few Xmas markets are still open:

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Did we hit the all-you-can-eat flammkuchen place last night near Koblenz? You bet your ass we did. For 8 of us…13 flammkuchen. So, 13 is apparently our limit. Interesting, because 15 is my limit on schnitzengruben.

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All the varieties. The classic with speck and cheese, sweet ones, a doner one (was really good), and yes…an American cheeseburger one (it actually kinda worked).

Some beer, and a great last night with family/friends before we head off to Mainz and Munich.

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Got to Munich today, pretty tired, didn’t do a whole lot. Wandered a market, seeing all the delicious meats that I cant bring back gives me a sad.
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Laughed at the poor boyfriends of Instagram who have to take 1000 pics of their girl in silly poses.

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And while I may be the LORD OF DONER, I don’t outrank the king of falafel AND shawarma (I presume that is a united kingdom).

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Dinner:

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Ok, my man--you didn't tell me you were going to Muenchen.  So while you're there, you need to head over to Nuernberger Bratwurst Gloeckl am Dom.  It's right behind the Frauenkirche.  They have several family plates of all the sausages (including the little Nuremberger bratwurstl, which are fucking delicious).  And they pour Augustiner, which is to your very great benefit.

And then post pictures to show that you haven't forgotten about us.

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Welcome to sunny Bavaria.

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Lunch was solid. Franconian sausages and a lentil dish with three kinds of pork. Oh, and there was a side of buttered spaetzle to stir into the stew. It was great on a cold day.

The fact that I cannot load up on 20 kilos of sausage to bring back because customs laws and such is giving me a sad.

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More Bavaria:

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Yeah, we went to Neuschwanstein. And I would definitely recommend going this time of year, because holy shit, in the summer it most be a MADHOUSE.
And the climb up is not a cakewalk. About a half hour steady uphill, then you climb the whole damned castle.
So, let’s talk about King Ludwig. Dude was clearly queerer than a football bat (NTTAWWT….in fact, his life would have been much happier if he was just able to have sexy time with Wagner all the time).
Ludwig was, as the kids say, quite “EXTRA.” Definitely not “basic.” Imagine how a gay Bavarian king would design and decorate everything, and you’ve got him figured out.
We got lucky, had a mostly sunny day, really highlighted the local beauty. And while we’re glad to have seen Bavaria and it is indeed pretty, we didn’t feel any deep connection or anything like that (we’ve got literally zero German blood). It’s deep rural, conservative Germany. Culturally…no thanks. Give us libertine Berlin.

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Now for some fun stuff….the people. These two gals made me SO happy. Why? Because they hogged the primary overlook of the castle to take 10,000 photos for their Instagram pages. All the posing, multiple poses. Shot after shot. Nevermind that families were lined up to take their own photo. These top-of-the-line INFLUENCERS had to take over the place.
We left, and they were still there taking photos. Why does that make me happy? Because your castle tour ticket is for a. EXACT time (this is Germany…everything but the trains is exactly on time). So, they for so caught up taking all their pictures that when they showed up at the gate, they were denied entry - they were too late. I don’t think they ever got in, as you buy your tickets at the BASE of the castle.

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And…as always. F’n Russians:

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And check out the fucking Hanson brothers over there. Two Canuck jerseys, a Bruins jacket, and a Black Sabbath T-shirt. I wanna party with those guys.

From the wardrobe, I thought these gals were Russian too. Nope. They were just very attractive Americans. Quite nice, too, we ended up chatting with them later.

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1 hour ago, Brisketexan said:

More Bavaria:

Yeah, we went to Neuschwanstein. And I would definitely recommend going this time of year, because holy shit, in the summer it most be a MADHOUSE.
And the climb up is not a cakewalk. About a half hour steady uphill, then you climb the whole damned castle.
So, let’s talk about King Ludwig. Dude was clearly queerer than a football bat (NTTAWWT….in fact, his life would have been much happier if he was just able to have sexy time with Wagner all the time).
Ludwig was, as the kids say, quite “EXTRA.” Definitely not “basic.” Imagine how a gay Bavarian king would design and decorate everything, and you’ve got him figured out.
We got lucky, had a mostly sunny day, really highlighted the local beauty. And while we’re glad to have seen Bavaria and it is indeed pretty, we didn’t feel any deep connection or anything like that (we’ve got literally zero German blood). It’s deep rural, conservative Germany. Culturally…no thanks. Give us libertine Berlin.

People get caught up in the whole "he was gay and built castles" thing with Ludwig II.  They completely ignore the fact that he was King of Bavaria during the decade of German unification.  Ludwig himself was not a proponent of German unification, but Bavaria wasn't itself strong enough to forestall it after it was defeated in the Austro-Prussian War.  And the role that Ludwig's weakness played in Prussia's ascent to dominance over Bavaria and the other southern German countries is kinda unexplored.

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