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Things you're a little bit embarrassed to admit

Hanrahan

By Hanrahan
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MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8817

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I'll go home to poop for the sake of everybody in the office of our shop having to smell it.

 

Also unless I'm not going to make it, I will poop only at home. Fan, bidet, private is much better than pooping in a stall while 2 or 3 guys do the same a few feet away.

 

Will say music in public restrooms help.

 

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I don't own a squatty potty, but I like having my feet raised.  So I always turn my trashcan on it's side when I shit.  Or in hotels I'll use random furniture.  Once I jammed an ottoman in the john so

Jack Straw
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16 minutes ago, huge said:

I keep wipes in my desk drawer, so work shitting is no problem.

Sometimes I carry them in my pocket if things are pointed in that direction.

I spit in the toilet paper, or if i have to sneeze will do that, and WOILA: Charmin wipes on the go.

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skipperj

skipperj 377

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Sometimes when I’m with my family at a nice hotel, I’ll go down to the lobby shitter for some peace and quiet. Great spot is to find one on the conference room floor when there’s nothing going on yet. It will be gloriously empty and clean.

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Brisketexan

Brisketexan 105154

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Sometimes when I’m with my family at a nice hotel, I’ll go down to the lobby shitter for some peace and quiet. Great spot is to find one on the conference room floor when there’s nothing going on yet. It will be gloriously empty and clean.

This man...this man is a pro.
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CooterBrown

CooterBrown 18014

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Sometimes when I’m with my family at a nice hotel, I’ll go down to the lobby shitter for some peace and quiet. Great spot is to find one on the conference room floor when there’s nothing going on yet. It will be gloriously empty and clean.


This is my move also. We stay at the Hyatt Regency in Orange County so often, I have my preferred stall in the conference hall.
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ERhine

ERhine 1894

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Sometimes when I’m with my family at a nice hotel, I’ll go down to the lobby shitter for some peace and quiet. Great spot is to find one on the conference room floor when there’s nothing going on yet. It will be gloriously empty and clean.


Standard operating procedure.
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Parliament

Parliament 14260

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13 hours ago, skipperj said:

Sometimes when I’m with my family at a nice hotel, I’ll go down to the lobby shitter for some peace and quiet. Great spot is to find one on the conference room floor when there’s nothing going on yet. It will be gloriously empty and clean.

God I love Surly Bevo.

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deadshank

deadshank 24653

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On 5/21/2018 at 9:38 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I’m watching The Dirty Dozen right now for probably the fiftieth time and I just realized that Trini Lopez was in it

My dad went to high school with Trini Lopez.  Crozier Tech in Dallas.  For real.  

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Quasimofo

Quasimofo 406

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You haven't shit until you've done it out in the sticks, leaning back against a tree, telephone pole, your pickup, etc. 
I put step rails on my pickups for this very reason. Wife thinks I put them on there for her benefit. Middle of DFW or 30 miles from town, I'll open the two passenger doors, perch on the perfect height those provide, and assume the fecal position.
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deadshank

deadshank 24653

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On 5/20/2018 at 8:55 PM, Equinox said:

You haven't shit until you've done it out in the sticks, leaning back against a tree, telephone pole, your pickup, etc. 

Try pronghorn hunting in the grasslands. No trees.  You and your hunting partner go toe to toe / lock hands and squat.  The toilet paper exchange is the tricky part. 

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Fudge Nuggets

Fudge Nuggets 19206

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On 5/23/2018 at 3:30 AM, BearSchlong said:

That's a good one. It's the perfect degree of embarrassing. I've done it too btw.

A few years ago one of the guys at work came into the conference room sporting a brand new but horrific dye job.  There was an audible gasp when he entered, it was that bad.

After a bit of murmuring it was obvious his dye job was a point of embarrassment so he says “Hey, we all make mistakes.”  One of the grizzled olds in the room responded with “Yeah, I married mine.”

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Reagan1k

Reagan1k 3024

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On 5/23/2018 at 7:24 AM, deadshank said:

Try pronghorn hunting in the grasslands. No trees.  You and your hunting partner go toe to toe / lock hands and squat.  The toilet paper exchange is the tricky part. 

Buddy of mine took a shit out the side of a duck blind but didn't account for the wader effect.  His dump got caught in the folds and when he pulled his waders up it started between his shoulder blades and ran down his back.  It was really cold so you couldn't smell much with frozen noses. 

We always kept our waders on until we got to a quick-stop for breakfast and coffee.  Once we warmed up in the truck it was unbearable and he figured out what happened.  We made him ride in the bed of the truck back to town.  

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deadshank

deadshank 24653

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1 minute ago, Reagan1k said:

Buddy of mine took a shit out the side of a duck blind but didn't account for the wader effect.  His dump got caught in the folds and when he pulled his waders up it started between his shoulder blades and ran down his back.  It was really cold so you couldn't smell much with frozen noses. 

We always kept our waders on until we got to a quick-stop for breakfast and coffee.  Once we warmed up in the truck it was unbearable and he figured out what happened.  We made him ride in the bed of the truck back to town.  

Is your buddy's name Eddie?

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BearSchlong

BearSchlong 8098

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10 hours ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

A few years ago one of the guys at work came into the conference room sporting a brand new but horrific dye job.  There was an audible gasp when he entered, it was that bad.

After a bit of murmuring it was obvious his dye job was a point of embarrassment so he says “Hey, we all make mistakes.”  One of the grizzled olds in the room responded with “Yeah, I married mine.”

When I finally realized the misguided vanity of my efforts, I grew my roots out and got a crewcut.  Poof, I was grey again.

Now it's a nice silver.

What's funny is that many women around my age (45) don't give me a second look but some (small minority) notice the hair and then give me a look like they want to consume me.  Some women are in to that.

Edited by BearSchlong
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Dolemite

Dolemite 143

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On 5/21/2018 at 6:39 PM, skipperj said:

Sometimes when I’m with my family at a nice hotel, I’ll go down to the lobby shitter for some peace and quiet. Great spot is to find one on the conference room floor when there’s nothing going on yet. It will be gloriously empty and clean.

I was in a nice place in NYC. We stayed out all night and was pretty much out of the next AM. Went into Women's bathroom by mistake. I was sitting there and two old ladies came in. Finally after at least 10 mins of them yaking I said fuck it and walked out of the stall and told them to have a nice day. 

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dingleberryswitzer

dingleberryswitzer 2724

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On 5/21/2018 at 1:34 PM, huge said:

 

Not that I require such luxury.  I will shit anywhere anytime.  My bowels comfort, that is what is important.

That's pretty much my shitting philosophy.  You're more likely to get a disease from opening the bathroom door than sitting on the seat.  I'll still wipe it off and lay a layer of tp if I think it needs it.   I also never claim to have visited a state unless I've taken a dump there

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Macanudo

Macanudo 12989

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Along the lines of the hotel lobby...  at malls or shopping areas, the bathrooms at Pottery Barns, Sur La Tables, Williams-Sonomas, etc are usually fairly safe bets.   Not a lot guys in the stores generally do they don't get a ton of traffic.

Edited by Macanudo
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MaybeACoordinator

MaybeACoordinator 8349

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On 3/29/2018 at 9:37 PM, Crabshack said:

First time I ever tried to rub one out when I was like 12 I ended up pissing all over myself and the wall next to my bed. 

 

Around the same age I had a wet dream and jizzed all over my dog, who was sleeping with in bed with me, and my stepmother saw the creampied spaniel and laughed at me. 

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MaybeACoordinator

MaybeACoordinator 8349

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On 5/21/2018 at 1:41 PM, MNLonghornFUKM said:

I'll go home to poop for the sake of everybody in the office of our shop having to smell it.

 

Also unless I'm not going to make it, I will poop only at home. Fan, bidet, private is much better than pooping in a stall while 2 or 3 guys do the same a few feet away.

 

Will say music in public restrooms help.

 

I used to be like that but after spending weeks on the road in the car I'll shit pretty much anywhere now. 

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