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Things you're a little bit embarrassed to admit

Hanrahan

By Hanrahan
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Cheeseweasel
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nycHorn
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I don't own a squatty potty, but I like having my feet raised.  So I always turn my trashcan on it's side when I shit.  Or in hotels I'll use random furniture.  Once I jammed an ottoman in the john so

Jack Straw
Jack Straw

i Febreze my dog when i'm too lazy to give her a bath

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PilotsError

PilotsError 2286

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I bought a box of ammo this week that came in a Fort Knox of a box.  After about thirty minutes of not being able to open it, I decided to look on YouTube.  I wasn't going to pry it open with a screwdriver, the box wasn't going to beat me.  So I YouTube'd it, and sure enough there were several videos on how to open this box, with thousands of views.  They did exactly what I was trying to do, but it still didn't work for me.  So, in the end I pried it open with a screwdriver, like many other commenters said they had to do.  Not my most masculine moment.

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Reagan1k

Reagan1k 3024

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On 6/21/2018 at 6:57 AM, PilotsError said:

I bought a box of ammo this week that came in a Fort Knox of a box.  After about thirty minutes of not being able to open it, I decided to look on YouTube.  I wasn't going to pry it open with a screwdriver, the box wasn't going to beat me.  So I YouTube'd it, and sure enough there were several videos on how to open this box, with thousands of views.  They did exactly what I was trying to do, but it still didn't work for me.  So, in the end I pried it open with a screwdriver, like many other commenters said they had to do.  Not my most masculine moment.

Lemme guess - Federal Premium pistol rounds in a clear box with a black base....?

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LW Goatman

LW Goatman 1120

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On 5/24/2018 at 4:35 PM, Angry Gorilla said:

In college when I was on 6th St and had to take a shit I would walk over the the Omni

I'm not embarrassed about this but when on a road trip i always stop at a hotel to shit. Sometimes breakfast is still being served, but that is a bit more shameful.

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lateshow

lateshow 1304

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On 6/22/2018 at 5:10 PM, LW Goatman said:

I'm not embarrassed about this but when on a road trip i always stop at a hotel to shit. Sometimes breakfast is still being served, but that is a bit more shameful.

That's just good, heads-up thinking. 

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Hanrahan

Hanrahan 1306

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Ran over a chipmunk yesterday and damned near cried over it, sucks getting old and emotional. 

 

We were duck hunting in whatever shithole in Arkansas gets all the ducks and one guy scored a zero. We’re driving home that evening, tried and buzzed, and we’re giving him some shit. He’s driving on some country road and a fucking beaver waddles out in front of the car and, thunk, thunk. “Told you all I’d get one,” he says as we drive on.

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Hanrahan

Hanrahan 1306

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I had a bad hemmoroid once.  I thought I had sharted myself at work but no such luck as it turned out to be the hemmy which had busted.  I had to wear a panty liner for a couple of days to keep the blood from soaking through my pants.  


I had a similar experience but it turned out to be cancer.
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Fudge Nuggets

Fudge Nuggets 19189

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4 hours ago, Hanrahan said:

 

We were duck hunting in whatever shithole in Arkansas gets all the ducks and one guy scored a zero. We’re driving home that evening, tried and buzzed, and we’re giving him some shit. He’s driving on some country road and a fucking beaver waddles out in front of the car and, thunk, thunk. “Told you all I’d get one,” he says as we drive on.

That would be Stuttgart.

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Buffsoldier

Buffsoldier 1895

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Sunday night I was watching Tangled on the Disney Channel with my daughter.  An Amber Alert came up on my phone.  My daughter (age 7) asked what it was, and I told her as best I could what it was and what it meant.  She, quite understandably, got scared because she thought that maybe there was someone out there that was going to try and take her too.  She went so far as to ask if she could sleep in my bed that night because she didn't want anyone to take her from hers (probably a lot of playing Daddy's heartstrings there).

After putting her to bed, I came back down and decided to finish the movie.  At the part where Rapunzel was reunited with her parents, I saw the look on the King's (Dad's) face. I bawled like a baby for nearly 15 minutes.

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Js1

Js1 85292

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17 hours ago, 'stache said:

I sit to pee sometimes as a means to surf my phone and take a few minutes to relax.

Same. No ragrets.

Also sometimes I'm just too fucking tired to stand. Like those 3am pees.  Or too drunk to do it without falling over.

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elfenix

elfenix 34225

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i've watched so much amateur allure and swallow salon that any time i see ring light reflections in the eyes of a person in a photo or video, i think i'm about to watch a bj vid. the tnt nba pre/post game show ads were freaking me out.

Edited by elfenix
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Fudge Nuggets

Fudge Nuggets 19189

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Because of time zones I usually watch Astros games after the fact on the Mlb.tv app.  Sometimes when I’m fucked up I want to tweet the answer to the “Name that Astro” even though the game has been over for 16 hours by that time.

But what is really embarrassing is when I still get it wrong. 

Edited by Fudge Nuggets
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