Things you're a little bit embarrassed to admit

[SilasCoade 2622]

I still expect UT football to be good.

[Sandman 3431]

I bought a pair of joggers today.

[Poolflood 845]

1 hour ago, Llogg said:

I still expect UT football to be good.

This

[0xdeadbeef 1699]

21 minutes ago, Poolflood said:

This

All in favor say Aye.

AYE.

It's unanimous.

 

[troph 25226]

Yeah my loyalty to Texas football embarrasses the fuck outta me.

[Spur08 384]

i Febreze my dog when i'm too lazy to give her a bath

This is heresy

[Neonmoon 38130]

I’m thinking about taking a break from College Football. Seriously 

[HornsOverIthaca 2339]

I’ve come to realize that when UT wins it makes me feel good but not overjoyed, so why should losing make me feel like shit?  I’m ten years older than the players now.  I feel bad for them, but there’s not much reason for me to feel bad for myself.

[Victorious1 181]

Quote

I’m thinking about taking a break from College Football. Seriously

seconded...

['stache 22133]

I’m thinking about taking a break from College Football. Seriously 

I’m gonna take a serious NFL break because the Cowboys have finally pushed me over the edge. Can’t fucking stand them right now but I don’t have the ability to just pick another team at random and jump on a bandwagon. I’ll follow the headlines and might watch if there’s literally nothing else to do, but I’m not going to save any part of my Sundays to that train wreck for a while.

[AUS-97HORN 12050]

15 hours ago, Sandman said:

I bought a pair of joggers today.

uh for my future research how much did it cost to have them both at the same time?

[El Diablo 4232]

1 hour ago, AUS-97HORN said:

uh for my future research how much did it cost to have them both at the same time?

It would probably be cheaper to rent.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8983]

I’ve come to realize that when UT wins it makes me feel good but not overjoyed, so why should losing make me feel like shit?  I’m ten years older than the players now.  I feel bad for them, but there’s not much reason for me to feel bad for myself.

The only thing about a college football loss you should take personal is the travel time back to your house, especially if it's 5+ hours driving one way and you're treated with a performance like yesterday's. Then you can be mad extra longer

[CooterBrown 18288]

I’m thinking about taking a break from College Football. Seriously 

I was barely holding on already. It’s hard to justify investing so much time and heartache in a group of guys that don’t give a shit.

[Superhero 9022]

Also mentioned in the What Makes you Surly thread. But here goes.

I yelled at a kid in the park and made him cry.

It was probably too harsh, but he was being a shithead and bullying my kids. The entire time, his dad was sitting 10’ away and completely oblivious because his nose was buried in his smartphone.

[HornsOverIthaca 2339]

11 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

15 hours ago, HornsOverIthaca said:

I’ve come to realize that when UT wins it makes me feel good but not overjoyed, so why should losing make me feel like shit?  I’m ten years older than the players now.  I feel bad for them, but there’s not much reason for me to feel bad for myself.

The only thing about a college football loss you should take personal is the travel time back to your house, especially if it's 5+ hours driving one way and you're treated with a performance like yesterday's. Then you can be mad extra longer

Yeah that makes sense.

[mulletpelini 5225]

I knew you fuckers were pussies.  I've been dealing with this shit for twice as long and I'm still fucking N.  No wonder your teams sucks with y'alls attitude.

Edited September 3, 2018 by mulletpelini

[dingleberryswitzer 2724]

On 9/1/2018 at 10:26 PM, Spur08 said:

On 8/7/2018 at 6:22 PM, Jack Straw said:

i Febreze my dog when i'm too lazy to give her a bath

This is heresy

I get heresy and hearsay confused.

[Neonmoon 38130]

3 hours ago, mulletpelini said:

I knew you fuckers were pussies.  I've been dealing with this shit for twice as long and I'm still fucking N.  No wonder your teams sucks with y'alls attitude.

You’ve had 2 seasons in the past 10 years where you won less than 9 games. You haven’t been dealing with shit. In fact, the only thing you have been dealing with is delusional expectations. If you want to back 20 years, it’s only an additional 4 years of less than 9 wins. So in 20 years, you have had 6 subpar seasons. We have 1 fucking season in 8 years where we have sniffed 9 wins. Im not asking for a championship, just 8 wins, which includes beating a bottom feeder Big 10 team. 

[Lone Star Horn 2071]

4 hours ago, Neonmoon said:

You’ve had 2 seasons in the past 10 years where you won less than 9 games. You haven’t been dealing with shit. In fact, the only thing you have been dealing with is delusional expectations. If you want to back 20 years, it’s only an additional 4 years of less than 9 wins. So in 20 years, you have had 6 subpar seasons. We have 1 fucking season in 8 years where we have sniffed 9 wins. Im not asking for a championship, just 8 wins, which includes beating a bottom feeder Big 10 team. 

well, since nebby isn't on the schedule, that can't happen

[Incredulity 11876]

I enjoyed the movie Sucker Punch.

[ImissWallyPryor 9046]

I've been wiping my own ass successfully for over 50 years.  I'm really good at it.  Until yesterday.

So I'm finished, and I get some toilet paper folded in my hand, then somewhere along the journey it drops into the toilet.  I don't notice that finer detail until my first wipe results in fudge-dipped fingers.  I somehow managed to finish wiping and get my pants up and zipped with one hand.

Spare me the bidet recommendations or early-onset dementia diagnosis.  I just needed to come clean.

[BayouBill 835]

17 minutes ago, Incredulity said:

I enjoyed the movie Sucker Punch.

Well...Yeah, no shit.

[ImissWallyPryor 9046]

On ‎8‎/‎31‎/‎2018 at 7:47 PM, TK421 said:

Same with me, I like the salad fork instead of the dinner fork as well.

This is so wrong.  I posted on here or Shaggy that I wish I could buy flatware without salad forks or dessert spoons, although I can tolerate dessert spoons... for desert.  Salad forks feel like kids' utensils to me.

[Dbeasy 15594]

I’m gonna take a serious NFL break because the Cowboys have finally pushed me over the edge. Can’t fucking stand them right now but I don’t have the ability to just pick another team at random and jump on a bandwagon. I’ll follow the headlines and might watch if there’s literally nothing else to do, but I’m not going to save any part of my Sundays to that train wreck for a while.

Was one of the biggest Cowboy fans ever. Never missed a game for 20+ years. Two years ago Jerry and Jason finally pushed me over the edge. Ive missed many games since then, watched only parts of several others, and found that i really didn’t care about them anymore. It was a shock because I thought I wouldn’t be able to shake that addiction. It’s been super easy. The NFL is incredibly boring and lacks innovation. Note that I don’t gamble and don’t play fantasy football anymore. If I did, I’d still be addicted.

[LW Goatman 1129]

On 8/7/2018 at 6:22 PM, Jack Straw said:

i Febreze my dog when i'm too lazy to give her a bath

I haven't bathed any of my three dogs in at least a couple of years. 

[LW Goatman 1129]

My property has a couple of creeks that border it making it fun for neighborhood kids to explore (I would've had a blast as a kid down there). Anyway, local kids come around all the time. Most are polite but some ride their bikes through my lawn and leave trash. I found a couple of new young flunkies playing around down there and asked them nicely to no longer ride their bikes on my lawn (which they complied with) and don't leave anything on my property. Two days later, i find a really cool chain ladder that they had fixed to a tree to scale down the slope into the creek. I got middle aged man ragey and tossed that bitch.

[immortal13 4059]

I love pantyhose on a woman

[Sbbruin 22143]

On 9/2/2018 at 7:03 AM, Neonmoon said:

I’m thinking about taking a break from College Football. Seriously 

You and me both.  The aggravation just isn't worth it.

[NeverMarryAStripper 22296]

40 minutes ago, immortal13 said:

I love pantyhose on a woman

Too hard to get to the goods

[NWBuck 8629]

1 hour ago, immortal13 said:

I love pantyhose on a woman

Avatar checks out.

[Buffsoldier 1895]

2 hours ago, immortal13 said:

I love pantyhose on a woman

 

1 hour ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Too hard to get to the goods

This.  Stockings are much better. 

[Deej 77815]

7 hours ago, LW Goatman said:

I haven't bathed any of my three dogs in at least a couple of years. 

I mean, they're dirty again in an hour.

[Prepuce of Doom 21285]

9 hours ago, LW Goatman said:

I haven't bathed any of my three dogs in at least a couple of years. 

Two dogs in the bathtub is difficult enough - I don't even know what three dogs in the bathtub would involve. 

[MNLonghornFUKM 8983]

I've been wiping my own ass successfully for over 50 years.  I'm really good at it.  Until yesterday.
So I'm finished, and I get some toilet paper folded in my hand, then somewhere along the journey it drops into the toilet.  I don't notice that finer detail until my first wipe results in fudge-dipped fingers.  I somehow managed to finish wiping and get my pants up and zipped with one hand.
Spare me the bidet recommendations or early-onset dementia diagnosis.  I just needed to come clean.

You should get a bidet and change your life

[SHOOTER12 8886]

20 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

22 hours ago, ImissWallyPryor said:

I've been wiping my own ass successfully for over 50 years.  I'm really good at it.  Until yesterday.
So I'm finished, and I get some toilet paper folded in my hand, then somewhere along the journey it drops into the toilet.  I don't notice that finer detail until my first wipe results in fudge-dipped fingers.  I somehow managed to finish wiping and get my pants up and zipped with one hand.
Spare me the bidet recommendations or early-onset dementia diagnosis.  I just needed to come clean.

You should get a bidet and change your life

Holey shit.....

[DougO 5265]

I damn near walked out of the house today wearing two completely different non-matching shoes on. Happened to look down at the last minute.

[Apep 645]

Everyone is arguing about burning swooshes and I'm wondering why Kirk Lazarus has a Nike ad.

[Incredulity 11876]

I just learned Jade Vaginal Eggs are a thing and that Gywenth Paltrow’s company “Goop” got fined 145k for promoting their health benefits.

[WhatTheBuck 28929]

At least the Pet Rock guy was honest about what he was selling. 

['stache 22133]

I damn near walked out of the house today wearing two completely different non-matching shoes on. Happened to look down at the last minute.

I made it all the way to the office one time with two different (but similar) shoes. I noticed as I walked into the lobby and turned right around to avoid embarrassment.

['stache 22133]

At least the Pet Rock guy was honest about what he was selling. 

She’s selling Jade’s vaginal eggs. Sounds pretty honest to me.

[Incredulity 11876]

12 minutes ago, 'stache said:

I made it all the way to the office one time with two different (but similar) shoes. I noticed as I walked into the lobby and turned right around to avoid embarrassment.

I have gone a whole day with a polo shirt on inside out.  Got home and thought, "thats why I have been uncomfortable all day".  

 

(a lot of the day I had a light coat, or hi-vis on)

[Guest Lobo]

I've never been hunting and it's been about 30 years since I watched an NFL game.  I hear the term "fantasy football" but I honestly don't know how it works.  I do love fishing and get to about 10 Longhorn games a year.  

[NeverMarryAStripper 22296]

I've never been hunting and it's been about 30 years since I watched an NFL game.  I hear the term "fantasy football" but I honestly don't know how it works.  I do love fishing and get to about 10 Longhorn games a year.  

Fantasy football refers to Texas fans dreaming about an 8 win season

[Sbbruin 22143]

In the past few years, it has become more common for my ball sack to touch the water in the toilet when I'm taking a shit.  I may have developed oldmansaggyball syndrome.

[immortal13 4059]

I used to think Derka wasn't that bad.

[DCLonghorn 244]

I sit when I pee when at home...rather not have the clean up.

I canceled the LHN to save a buck.

 

[Underdog 29184]

31 minutes ago, Sbbruin said:

In the past few years, it has become more common for my ball sack to touch the water in the toilet when I'm taking a shit.  I may have developed oldmansaggyball syndrome.

Or your water level is at the rim, might want to check your tank setup. 

[Cheeseweasel 26439]

27 minutes ago, immortal13 said:

I used to think Derka wasn't that bad.

Not embarrassed to admit that blocking him makes this place better.