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Things you're a little bit embarrassed to admit


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Posted
9 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

"Sister Christian" came on the radio last night, and I turned up the volume. Guitar solo reminds me of Zappa's "Watermelon in Easter Hay" a little bit.

Were you motoring?

Posted

Not really embarrassing for me, per se, takes a serious fuck upon my part for that but here goes. Many, many years ago, back in my twenties(approaching 50 now), I fell asleep in a hammock, on the beach. I woke up a little burned(even though I put on sunscreen) and kept getting weird looks from others until someone, the bartender at the beachside bar, finally told me what was going on. I had bird poop on my forehead. After I finished laughing and going to wash it off, I now had a white spot in the middle of a red forehead. Bird shit, great as sunscreen.

  • Like 6
Posted
On 4/2/2019 at 9:56 AM, PilotsError said:

I'm addicted to that High Hopes song by Panic at the Disco.  I'm 40.

That song makes me want to jab an ice pick in my ears.

 

Sister Christian rocks on and on, baby.

  • Like 1
Posted
34 minutes ago, mulletpelini said:

Apparently you've never heard her speak?  Sounds like Hillary, always scolding.

That's a monotit btw

Idk man. Seems like a girl I could have a few drinks with, get into a heated argument due to differing political stances, and then passionately fuck into the early morning.

But I digress, I'm a romantic. 

Posted
2 minutes ago, BearCountry11 said:

Plus she seems like she's into that freaky stuff so I'm down.  

Yeah that too. You'd be 5 mins in then realize she's the one fucking you. And you'd be okay with it. 

  • Like 3
Posted
Any of you yahoos who would put your politics before your penis need to reevaluate shit like yesterday. 
For sure. I can't think straight enough to vote unless the pipes are clean.
Posted (edited)

First, someone being embarrassed about wanting to fuck a hot chick. Now a dude being embarrassed about being ale to stink bomb people. This is what has become of masculinity folks, say goodbye to the past folks.

Edited by bamachine
Posted
On 3/27/2019 at 11:21 AM, Nuge said:

So I decided to shave my nutsack in the shower with menthol shave cream.  I was pleasantly surprised by the tingle so I decided to make it a party and jerk it.  It. Was. Awesome.  Will do again. And again.  In fact, now that I think about it, I'm feeling a little dirty right now.

900.jpg

Not a fan of the icy/hot feel - and I don't shave anything below the belt (I mean we trim the hedges around here but that's it) but I will contribute one of my own:

I use olive oil as lube to jerk it with. It's cheaper than body or massage oil or wev and you can cook with it. 

Would recommend. 

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Posted (edited)
7 minutes ago, ztejas said:

 

I use olive oil as lube to jerk it with. It's cheaper than body or massage oil or wev and you can cook with it. 

Would recommend. 

I’m fairly certain this is one of those details the police hold back from the public when looking for the killer. 

Edited by ChickenSandwich
  • Like 3
Posted
3 minutes ago, ChickenSandwich said:

I’m fairly certain this is one of those detail the police leave out of the press release when looking for the killer. 

Better than this 

 

Posted
I’m fairly certain this is one of those details the police hold back from the public when looking for the killer. 

Yup. So many questions. Did you try Pam spray first and it got on everything but your dick?
Posted
4 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

 


So do you jerk with it and then use it to cook with

 

Don't be ridiculous. I have a bottle for each.

1 hour ago, EE2B said:


Yup. So many questions. Did you try Pam spray first and it got on everything but your dick?

No I don't own Pam spray I'm not a sexually unsatisfied 48 year old mother of 4 in Wisconsin. 

  • Like 1
Posted
Any of you yahoos who would put your politics before your penis need to reevaluate shit like yesterday. 

It’s not political. But the way she dresses now, she’s not good looking. Fucking hair is pulled back so tight that it looks like they used a come along.
Posted (edited)

I just had my right hand coated in Teflon. Only problem is this,I must now put the tip of my pecker up against the wall, to keep my hand from sliding all the way off. Note, don't do this with a paneling wall, make sure it is sheetrock.

Edited by bamachine
Posted
5 minutes ago, bamachine said:

I just had my right hand coated in Teflon. Only problem is this,I must now put the tip of my pecker up against the wall, to keep my hand from sliding all the way off. Note, don't do this with a paneling wall, make sure it is sheetrock.

Ever try Teflon coat and olive oil? Change. Your. Life. 

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