Jump to content

Flat Earthers spend $20K on device that proves Earth is round


Carl Spackler

Recommended Posts

2 hours ago, SquishMitten said:

I think we’re all contemplating ways to get in on the grift. But everything is so fucking stupid that none of us would ever even consider trying them… and then somebody gets rich AF doing it. 

Amen.  When I heard the nuts talking about Oprah Winfrey and Tom Hanks were trafficking and draining children of their adrenochrome to "stay young" all the while Oprah and Tom look their age, I just don't know how to dream up something that breathtakingly stupid.  But the people with the balls to actually try and push that kind of stuff made plenty of money.

Of course, you don't have to be as insane with the flat earth stuff, but like the Apollo deniers, the flat earth field is mature and saturated with grifters, and so you have to come up with something original enough that nobody else has thought of it.  Which is where shit like the Oprah and Tom Hanks stuff comes in.  That's some originality.  Hats off to the 4channers/8channers who pulled that off.

My kids are expecting a trip to Disney World within the next year, along with some other trips.  I would love to come up with a conspiracy theory that will fund any and all trips like that, but not something that will get me hauled into court for defamation. I should see how the hollow Earth folks are doing...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

@atomheartbevo OK, look I am not entirely greedy.  I need help to pull this off.   We are going to sell Adrenochrome harvested from deported Mexican children but with the Mexican in them distilled out.   Since the FDA doesn't regulate "vitamins"  we just pop this on the shelves and sell it through Alex Jones types.  

 

13 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Luke?

2011-09-22-tatooine.jpg

 

 

Edited by Nivek
  • Drool 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

41 minutes ago, Nivek said:

OK, look I am not entirely greedy.  I need help to pull this off.   We are going to sell Adrenochrome harvested from deported Mexican children but with the Mexican in them distilled out.   Since the FDA doesn't regulate "vitamins"  we just pop this on the shelves and sell it through Alex Jones types.  

I was thinking of an instrument to measure how much land is below the flat earthers’  properties. Your’s would involve less upfront expense.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, atomheartbevo said:

Amen.  When I heard the nuts talking about Oprah Winfrey and Tom Hanks were trafficking and draining children of their adrenochrome to "stay young" all the while Oprah and Tom look their age, I just don't know how to dream up something that breathtakingly stupid.  But the people with the balls to actually try and push that kind of stuff made plenty of money.

Of course, you don't have to be as insane with the flat earth stuff, but like the Apollo deniers, the flat earth field is mature and saturated with grifters, and so you have to come up with something original enough that nobody else has thought of it.  Which is where shit like the Oprah and Tom Hanks stuff comes in.  That's some originality.  Hats off to the 4channers/8channers who pulled that off.

My kids are expecting a trip to Disney World within the next year, along with some other trips.  I would love to come up with a conspiracy theory that will fund any and all trips like that, but not something that will get me hauled into court for defamation. I should see how the hollow Earth folks are doing...

they just repurposed some antisemitism.

  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

37 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

I was thinking of an instrument to measure how much land is below the flat earthers’  properties. Your’s would involve less upfront expense.

Mine also has the element of racism/xenophobia built in.  We can charge extra for that.

Edited by Nivek
  • Drool 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

41 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

I was thinking of an instrument to measure how much land is below the flat earthers’  properties. Your’s would involve less upfront expense.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dowsing

 

Donald's Rod.  Donald's Dowsing.    Look we don't have to make it complicated and we certainly do not have to make it effective.   Let's say it runs on the power of MAGA, and if it doesn't work, you are not MAGA enough.

Now whether we go with the Y shaped stick, or the two individual rods, I'll let you decide.  We probably need the latter, but made in a factory in China called USA.   

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What about guard rails for keeping the flat earthers from falling off the edge?  We can have them contribute to a fund and we’ll send them photos of guardrails strategically photographed on cliffs to make it look like there is nothing beyond. Or Photoshopped.

Also, we could assemble bundles of cheap ropes and harness gear and label it something about advanced gear for looking over the edge or something .

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Is earth like a pizza?  Is there an underside?  Thin crust or pan style?  Or is it turtles all the way down?  Stalagmite?  What if we are the tip of a stalagmite in a cave with many other stalagmites, and that cave is just a small part of some other sort of world?  Are we the lichen of this greater world?  Shit. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



×
×
  • Create New...