Mass College Admission Cheating Scandal

[Deej 76797]

37 minutes ago, Paper_jam said:

I had Gleeson as well, for 303K in ..Fall '89, I guess.  That was one of my top two or three favorite classes at UT, although it wasn't easy.  Managed a low 'A' somehow.

 

Who was the German prof that always wore western wear? I had him for my freshman engineering physics in 87, but can't remember his name.

[Brisketexan 105147]

7 minutes ago, Deej said:

Who was the German prof that always wore western wear? I had him for my freshman engineering physics in 87, but can't remember his name.

Dude.  Your avatar told me the Germans got nothin to do with it.

[TwiceHorn 31483]

I may have been wrong about no jail time.  https://sentencing.typepad.com/sentencing_law_and_policy/2019/03/mapping-out-next-possible-celebrity-sentencings-in-wake-of-indictment-in-college-admissions-scandal-.html

Quote

CNN legal analyst, criminal defense attorney and University of Georgia Law Professor Page Pate ventured his guesses as to what any prospective sentences might look like for the embattled actresses. Over the course of a series of emails, Pate said the time served in each case would depend “mostly on the ‘loss amount’ (how much money the government can tie to the alleged fraud)” and explained that “federal sentencing guidelines for fraud are primarily based on the amount of money involved, how sophisticated the fraud was what role the person played in the alleged scheme, and whether they were the ‘leader, middle, [or] low-end.'”

With that in mind, Pate estimated that Full House‘s Loughlin was facing “37-46 months if convicted at trial” and between “27-33 months [if she enters a] guilty plea.”  Since Huffman is alleged to have spent quite a bit less, Pate estimated that the Desperate Housewives actress was facing “12-18 months if convicted at trial” whereas she would be looking at “8-14 months (or possible probation)” if she were to plead guilty.

 

However, note that this is according to the guidelines, and as exemplified by the Manafort cases, never underestimate the ability of a federal judge to depart downward for the white and wealthy.

Rather than making an example of those who use wealth to abuse the system, I think it's entirely likely that a trial/sentencing judge sympathizes with the desire to "do right by" children and that it's not much different from buying a building or donating an endowed chair.

Edited March 13, 2019 by TwiceHorn

[Brisketexan 105147]

1 minute ago, TwiceHorn said:

I may have been wrong about no jail time.  https://sentencing.typepad.com/sentencing_law_and_policy/2019/03/mapping-out-next-possible-celebrity-sentencings-in-wake-of-indictment-in-college-admissions-scandal-.html

However, note that this is according to the guidelines, and as exemplified by the Manafort cases, never underestimate the ability of a federal judge to depart downward for the white and wealthy.

(emphasis fucking added)

[pacman 7355]

 

Fuck your legends of ut engineering, try the ut math department where your classes might as well be taught in a foreign language. You basically learn everything all by yourself 

 

 

This is being passed around on Facebook 

 

I’m gathering from my feed that this whole college admissions scandal is really shocking to a lot of people. Well, sit down, babies, because I’m about to deal you a hard blow. This is nothing. I think a lot of people seriously have no idea how thoroughly the system is rigged. I spent several years as a for-hire writer who couldn’t afford to turn work away. This means I accepted a lot of jobs I feel icky about now, but it also means that I’ve seen firsthand how this all shakes out. (Important note: There is not a single person on my friends list who I am referring to with any of what I’m about to write. Also, I stopped taking the type of work I'm going to describe years ago. So if I’ve ever helped you with written material, or if I'm currently helping you: this does not apply to you.) See, getting little Asshole McGloatyFace III into Harvard is just the first domino en route to prestige and pedigree. That’s why it’s so important; the first domino starts the chain. The richest of rich parents get him there by donating a library collection or buying a building. The middling rich, like those in today’s story, cheat (and don’t for a single second think the people indicted today are the only ones, because they are not, not, not). The lowly rich hire people like me to write their kids’ essays and letters, pull together their resumes, and figure out how to make years of abject mediocrity sound good. And they don’t only hire people like me. They also hire special tutors and test prep gurus to teach their kids to hack the tests. They pull strings to get their kids special accommodations they don’t need, so they have more time to get all the math problems done on the SAT. They get interview coaches who teach their kids what to say when they go for their appointment. They lean on connections to get Harvard and Yale take a "second look" at their C+ student with a 980 SAT score. These kids get a complete team, and the face Asshole McGloatyFace presents to the Ivy isn’t his own; it’s a composite of all the best expertise his parents’ money could buy. When Asshole McGloatyFace is in school, his parents hire people like me again. Want to know how many papers I’ve written for undergraduate students? Graduate students? I couldn’t even tell you. It’s a higher number than I can remember offhand. Need a magic paper to save your grade in the class you’re failing? Need to save your half-assed thesis? I’ve done it all. I’m a better-than-average writer and I made my clients look good. All this work goes into making sure Asshole McGloatyFace graduates from an Ivy, because graduating from an Ivy—combined with the connections of Mom and/or Dad—means he gets internships at the best companies and firms. It means he gets interviews, even if his GPA is sub-3.0. It means he gets the best jobs when he graduates. He’s still an idiot, but now he’s an idiot earning high-five or low-six figures. This is when the next dominos start to fall. Asshole McGloatyFace’s company is going to get him an executive coach. Because he has the right name and the right degree and the right presentation, so he’s tagged as executive material, and they’re going to start grooming him now so he doesn’t make them look stupid later. The coach is going to teach him how to present himself, what photos to put in his office, what suits to wear and how to accessorize. If Asshole is a man, the coach is going to teach him how to open large meetings with a sweet, humanizing story about his family, especially his kids. If Asshole is a woman, the coach is going to teach her how to be brusque with a smile and never talk about her family under any circumstances, especially not her kids. Along with the executive coach, Asshole is also going to be assigned a mentor, someone accomplished and probably equally prestigious. The role of the mentor is to help Asshole McGloatyFace to meet the right people, form the right connections. The mentor is going to take Asshole McGloatyFace to events and make sure he knows all the power players in their city. The coach, mentor, and senior-ups are going to guide Asshole McGloatyFace to volunteer and charitable giving opportunities. Not just any volunteering and charitable giving, but those that are well-aligned to Asshole’s decided-upon Personal Brand (TM). Asshole is going to learn how to give lots of money and make it known, without appearing to brag about it. Asshole is also going to get seated on the best non-profit boards in his city. Some of these are competitive. Want to know how I know that? Because they require an essay, resume, and bio. And guess who writes those. So now Asshole is rubbing elbows with even more movers and shakers, and is establishing a high-quality Personal Brand (TM). At this point, Asshole has been promoted a couple times and is earning low-mid six figures. Buckle in, because here’s where lots of dominos start to fall. At this point, Asshole’s bio features an impressive school, an impressive job at an impressive company, impressive volunteer positions, impressive philanthropy, impressive Personal Brand (TM). This is enough to earn Asshole consideration for a whole host of things most average people have absolutely no awareness of. He’s going to apply for and be named one of his city’s “40 Under 40” and get a spread in a local, glossy magazine*. He’s going to apply for and get a position in his city’s “Up and Coming Young Leaders” program, and be interviewed on TV. He’s going to apply for and win a spot in his city’s “Wealthy People Pretending To Do Good But Really Just Hanging Out With Other Wealthy People” initiative, and get newspaper coverage. I’ll give you one guess who writes those applications. (*Note: I'm not shitting on "40 Under 40." Some folks make it on there for genuine charitable good deed, which is awesome.) By now Asshole’s been promoted again. He’s in his 40s, maybe 50s, and is earning high-six figures, and it’s time to go for the jackpot. Asshole has now built all the right credentials to apply for a position on a for-profit board. He probably won’t get the first one, and maybe not the second, but he’ll get the third or fourth. How quickly he gets picked up will have a lot to do with how well he’s nurtured his connections and how fondly people remember his parents, who are now elderly or dead. He’s going to link up with a Fortune 500, be named to their board, and pull in a seven-figure paycheck for turning up once per quarter to listen to updates from the CEO and make management decisions. He’ll need a resume, bio, and compelling personal letter to make this happen. Check, check, check. Asshole is now making millions of dollars per year, earning millions more on a board, and, as a loving parent, is guiding his own children through the exact same process. This is how it works. This is why The Right University is so important. It’s not about the degree. It’s about this entire life path, this entire system of manipulation and prestige, to make sure the children of the uber wealthy become the next generation of the uber wealthy, that they get exclusive opportunities and exclusive consideration. Every single step along this journey, there are other people clawing for the same opportunities but not getting them. Those people didn’t come from the right parents, or graduate from the right schools. Their applications weren’t as good, because they wrote them themselves, and most people (sorry, y’all, but it’s true) do not write nearly as well as they think they do. Their bios weren’t as perfect, because they didn’t have executive coaches and mentors to help them establish a fine-tuned personal brand. Their ideas weren’t as interesting, because they were working with their own stupid ideas and not the ideas of professional idea-havers. THE WHOLE SYSTEM IS RIGGED, YOU GUYS. It is rigged. Maybe you went from lower class to middle class, or lower middle class to upper middle class, and you feel like FUCKIN A I LOVE AMERICA AND BALD EAGLES AND MERITOCRACY, but it’s all an illusion. Even if you financially make your way into the nouveau riche layer of the upper class, you still won’t be one of the chosen unless you manage to hit some kind of insanely unlikely lottery (Barack and Michelle Obama come to mind), but you’re honestly more likely to get bit by a radioactive spider and start shooting web-shit from your wrists. The upper class is a closed system, thanks but no thanks, no vacancies, don’t let the door hit ya. I’ve taken jobs from 40-something year old men who handed the telephone to their daddies to talk about how to craft the right impression in their adult child’s “personal” letter. I’ve worked with executive coaches to hash out what jokes to write in order to best illustrate the “good humor” part of someone’s Personal Brand (TM) in a “personal” essay. THAT is how this works. There’s no such thing as meritocracy. The end.

Edited March 13, 2019 by pacman

[SuingToGetAMessageBoard? 3861]

9 minutes ago, pacman said:

Being passed around on facebook

 

  Hide contents

 

I’m gathering from my feed that this whole college admissions scandal is really shocking to a lot of people. Well, sit down, babies, because I’m about to deal you a hard blow. This is nothing. I think a lot of people seriously have no idea how thoroughly the system is rigged. I spent several years as a for-hire writer who couldn’t afford to turn work away. This means I accepted a lot of jobs I feel icky about now, but it also means that I’ve seen firsthand how this all shakes out. (Important note: There is not a single person on my friends list who I am referring to with any of what I’m about to write. Also, I stopped taking the type of work I'm going to describe years ago. So if I’ve ever helped you with written material, or if I'm currently helping you: this does not apply to you.) See, getting little Asshole McGloatyFace III into Harvard is just the first domino en route to prestige and pedigree. That’s why it’s so important; the first domino starts the chain. The richest of rich parents get him there by donating a library collection or buying a building. The middling rich, like those in today’s story, cheat (and don’t for a single second think the people indicted today are the only ones, because they are not, not, not). The lowly rich hire people like me to write their kids’ essays and letters, pull together their resumes, and figure out how to make years of abject mediocrity sound good. And they don’t only hire people like me. They also hire special tutors and test prep gurus to teach their kids to hack the tests. They pull strings to get their kids special accommodations they don’t need, so they have more time to get all the math problems done on the SAT. They get interview coaches who teach their kids what to say when they go for their appointment. They lean on connections to get Harvard and Yale take a "second look" at their C+ student with a 980 SAT score. These kids get a complete team, and the face Asshole McGloatyFace presents to the Ivy isn’t his own; it’s a composite of all the best expertise his parents’ money could buy. When Asshole McGloatyFace is in school, his parents hire people like me again. Want to know how many papers I’ve written for undergraduate students? Graduate students? I couldn’t even tell you. It’s a higher number than I can remember offhand. Need a magic paper to save your grade in the class you’re failing? Need to save your half-assed thesis? I’ve done it all. I’m a better-than-average writer and I made my clients look good. All this work goes into making sure Asshole McGloatyFace graduates from an Ivy, because graduating from an Ivy—combined with the connections of Mom and/or Dad—means he gets internships at the best companies and firms. It means he gets interviews, even if his GPA is sub-3.0. It means he gets the best jobs when he graduates. He’s still an idiot, but now he’s an idiot earning high-five or low-six figures. This is when the next dominos start to fall. Asshole McGloatyFace’s company is going to get him an executive coach. Because he has the right name and the right degree and the right presentation, so he’s tagged as executive material, and they’re going to start grooming him now so he doesn’t make them look stupid later. The coach is going to teach him how to present himself, what photos to put in his office, what suits to wear and how to accessorize. If Asshole is a man, the coach is going to teach him how to open large meetings with a sweet, humanizing story about his family, especially his kids. If Asshole is a woman, the coach is going to teach her how to be brusque with a smile and never talk about her family under any circumstances, especially not her kids. Along with the executive coach, Asshole is also going to be assigned a mentor, someone accomplished and probably equally prestigious. The role of the mentor is to help Asshole McGloatyFace to meet the right people, form the right connections. The mentor is going to take Asshole McGloatyFace to events and make sure he knows all the power players in their city. The coach, mentor, and senior-ups are going to guide Asshole McGloatyFace to volunteer and charitable giving opportunities. Not just any volunteering and charitable giving, but those that are well-aligned to Asshole’s decided-upon Personal Brand (TM). Asshole is going to learn how to give lots of money and make it known, without appearing to brag about it. Asshole is also going to get seated on the best non-profit boards in his city. Some of these are competitive. Want to know how I know that? Because they require an essay, resume, and bio. And guess who writes those. So now Asshole is rubbing elbows with even more movers and shakers, and is establishing a high-quality Personal Brand (TM). At this point, Asshole has been promoted a couple times and is earning low-mid six figures. Buckle in, because here’s where lots of dominos start to fall. At this point, Asshole’s bio features an impressive school, an impressive job at an impressive company, impressive volunteer positions, impressive philanthropy, impressive Personal Brand (TM). This is enough to earn Asshole consideration for a whole host of things most average people have absolutely no awareness of. He’s going to apply for and be named one of his city’s “40 Under 40” and get a spread in a local, glossy magazine*. He’s going to apply for and get a position in his city’s “Up and Coming Young Leaders” program, and be interviewed on TV. He’s going to apply for and win a spot in his city’s “Wealthy People Pretending To Do Good But Really Just Hanging Out With Other Wealthy People” initiative, and get newspaper coverage. I’ll give you one guess who writes those applications. (*Note: I'm not shitting on "40 Under 40." Some folks make it on there for genuine charitable good deed, which is awesome.) By now Asshole’s been promoted again. He’s in his 40s, maybe 50s, and is earning high-six figures, and it’s time to go for the jackpot. Asshole has now built all the right credentials to apply for a position on a for-profit board. He probably won’t get the first one, and maybe not the second, but he’ll get the third or fourth. How quickly he gets picked up will have a lot to do with how well he’s nurtured his connections and how fondly people remember his parents, who are now elderly or dead. He’s going to link up with a Fortune 500, be named to their board, and pull in a seven-figure paycheck for turning up once per quarter to listen to updates from the CEO and make management decisions. He’ll need a resume, bio, and compelling personal letter to make this happen. Check, check, check. Asshole is now making millions of dollars per year, earning millions more on a board, and, as a loving parent, is guiding his own children through the exact same process. This is how it works. This is why The Right University is so important. It’s not about the degree. It’s about this entire life path, this entire system of manipulation and prestige, to make sure the children of the uber wealthy become the next generation of the uber wealthy, that they get exclusive opportunities and exclusive consideration. Every single step along this journey, there are other people clawing for the same opportunities but not getting them. Those people didn’t come from the right parents, or graduate from the right schools. Their applications weren’t as good, because they wrote them themselves, and most people (sorry, y’all, but it’s true) do not write nearly as well as they think they do. Their bios weren’t as perfect, because they didn’t have executive coaches and mentors to help them establish a fine-tuned personal brand. Their ideas weren’t as interesting, because they were working with their own stupid ideas and not the ideas of professional idea-havers. THE WHOLE SYSTEM IS RIGGED, YOU GUYS. It is rigged. Maybe you went from lower class to middle class, or lower middle class to upper middle class, and you feel like FUCKIN A I LOVE AMERICA AND BALD EAGLES AND MERITOCRACY, but it’s all an illusion. Even if you financially make your way into the nouveau riche layer of the upper class, you still won’t be one of the chosen unless you manage to hit some kind of insanely unlikely lottery (Barack and Michelle Obama come to mind), but you’re honestly more likely to get bit by a radioactive spider and start shooting web-shit from your wrists. The upper class is a closed system, thanks but no thanks, no vacancies, don’t let the door hit ya. I’ve taken jobs from 40-something year old men who handed the telephone to their daddies to talk about how to craft the right impression in their adult child’s “personal” letter. I’ve worked with executive coaches to hash out what jokes to write in order to best illustrate the “good humor” part of someone’s Personal Brand (TM) in a “personal” essay. THAT is how this works. There’s no such thing as meritocracy. The end.

 

 

Outrage bait. It’s not that bad. This board is filled with people that are in the 1% or close to it and went to a state school. You can’t fake the intelligence of the people I work with.  No amount of coaching would have ever papered over where they lack.  

 

The uber rich are big on this shit, but there’s plenty of room to make money for the rest of us schlubs.  

[Llano Estacado 1257]

Its called a pilcrow.¶

 

A good writer would know that.¶

 

[Sbbruin 21856]

38 minutes ago, Js1 said:

FUCK YES

 

I've seen Caruso's yacht out at Catalina numerous times.  It is fucking sick.

[TwiceHorn 31483]

8 minutes ago, SuingToGetAMessageBoard? said:

Outrage bait. It’s not that bad. This board is filled with people that are in the 1% or close to it and went to a state school. You can’t fake the intelligence of the people I work with.  No amount of coaching would have ever papered over where they lack.  

 

The uber rich are big on this shit, but there’s plenty of room to make money for the rest of us schlubs.  

Yeah, there's a nugget of truth there, but that overstates a lot of things.  Some strivers may need all that coaching and assistance, but it's going to happen for the episcopacy without nearly that much effort.  And there's still a shit-ton of really smart, hard-working people (that happen to be from "good" families) that attend prep schools, an Ivy, and parlay that intelligence and industriousness and those connections into success in the upper echelons of society.

Yeah, and a fair number of us that just went to state schools and worked pretty hard (and probably werent born black).

Edited March 13, 2019 by TwiceHorn

[freyguy 4273]

22 minutes ago, pacman said:

This is being passed around on Facebook 

  Reveal hidden contents

I’m gathering from my feed that this whole college admissions scandal is really shocking to a lot of people. Well, sit down, babies, because I’m about to deal you a hard blow. This is nothing. I think a lot of people seriously have no idea how thoroughly the system is rigged. I spent several years as a for-hire writer who couldn’t afford to turn work away. This means I accepted a lot of jobs I feel icky about now, but it also means that I’ve seen firsthand how this all shakes out. (Important note: There is not a single person on my friends list who I am referring to with any of what I’m about to write. Also, I stopped taking the type of work I'm going to describe years ago. So if I’ve ever helped you with written material, or if I'm currently helping you: this does not apply to you.) See, getting little Asshole McGloatyFace III into Harvard is just the first domino en route to prestige and pedigree. That’s why it’s so important; the first domino starts the chain. The richest of rich parents get him there by donating a library collection or buying a building. The middling rich, like those in today’s story, cheat (and don’t for a single second think the people indicted today are the only ones, because they are not, not, not). The lowly rich hire people like me to write their kids’ essays and letters, pull together their resumes, and figure out how to make years of abject mediocrity sound good. And they don’t only hire people like me. They also hire special tutors and test prep gurus to teach their kids to hack the tests. They pull strings to get their kids special accommodations they don’t need, so they have more time to get all the math problems done on the SAT. They get interview coaches who teach their kids what to say when they go for their appointment. They lean on connections to get Harvard and Yale take a "second look" at their C+ student with a 980 SAT score. These kids get a complete team, and the face Asshole McGloatyFace presents to the Ivy isn’t his own; it’s a composite of all the best expertise his parents’ money could buy. When Asshole McGloatyFace is in school, his parents hire people like me again. Want to know how many papers I’ve written for undergraduate students? Graduate students? I couldn’t even tell you. It’s a higher number than I can remember offhand. Need a magic paper to save your grade in the class you’re failing? Need to save your half-assed thesis? I’ve done it all. I’m a better-than-average writer and I made my clients look good. All this work goes into making sure Asshole McGloatyFace graduates from an Ivy, because graduating from an Ivy—combined with the connections of Mom and/or Dad—means he gets internships at the best companies and firms. It means he gets interviews, even if his GPA is sub-3.0. It means he gets the best jobs when he graduates. He’s still an idiot, but now he’s an idiot earning high-five or low-six figures. This is when the next dominos start to fall. Asshole McGloatyFace’s company is going to get him an executive coach. Because he has the right name and the right degree and the right presentation, so he’s tagged as executive material, and they’re going to start grooming him now so he doesn’t make them look stupid later. The coach is going to teach him how to present himself, what photos to put in his office, what suits to wear and how to accessorize. If Asshole is a man, the coach is going to teach him how to open large meetings with a sweet, humanizing story about his family, especially his kids. If Asshole is a woman, the coach is going to teach her how to be brusque with a smile and never talk about her family under any circumstances, especially not her kids. Along with the executive coach, Asshole is also going to be assigned a mentor, someone accomplished and probably equally prestigious. The role of the mentor is to help Asshole McGloatyFace to meet the right people, form the right connections. The mentor is going to take Asshole McGloatyFace to events and make sure he knows all the power players in their city. The coach, mentor, and senior-ups are going to guide Asshole McGloatyFace to volunteer and charitable giving opportunities. Not just any volunteering and charitable giving, but those that are well-aligned to Asshole’s decided-upon Personal Brand (TM). Asshole is going to learn how to give lots of money and make it known, without appearing to brag about it. Asshole is also going to get seated on the best non-profit boards in his city. Some of these are competitive. Want to know how I know that? Because they require an essay, resume, and bio. And guess who writes those. So now Asshole is rubbing elbows with even more movers and shakers, and is establishing a high-quality Personal Brand (TM). At this point, Asshole has been promoted a couple times and is earning low-mid six figures. Buckle in, because here’s where lots of dominos start to fall. At this point, Asshole’s bio features an impressive school, an impressive job at an impressive company, impressive volunteer positions, impressive philanthropy, impressive Personal Brand (TM). This is enough to earn Asshole consideration for a whole host of things most average people have absolutely no awareness of. He’s going to apply for and be named one of his city’s “40 Under 40” and get a spread in a local, glossy magazine*. He’s going to apply for and get a position in his city’s “Up and Coming Young Leaders” program, and be interviewed on TV. He’s going to apply for and win a spot in his city’s “Wealthy People Pretending To Do Good But Really Just Hanging Out With Other Wealthy People” initiative, and get newspaper coverage. I’ll give you one guess who writes those applications. (*Note: I'm not shitting on "40 Under 40." Some folks make it on there for genuine charitable good deed, which is awesome.) By now Asshole’s been promoted again. He’s in his 40s, maybe 50s, and is earning high-six figures, and it’s time to go for the jackpot. Asshole has now built all the right credentials to apply for a position on a for-profit board. He probably won’t get the first one, and maybe not the second, but he’ll get the third or fourth. How quickly he gets picked up will have a lot to do with how well he’s nurtured his connections and how fondly people remember his parents, who are now elderly or dead. He’s going to link up with a Fortune 500, be named to their board, and pull in a seven-figure paycheck for turning up once per quarter to listen to updates from the CEO and make management decisions. He’ll need a resume, bio, and compelling personal letter to make this happen. Check, check, check. Asshole is now making millions of dollars per year, earning millions more on a board, and, as a loving parent, is guiding his own children through the exact same process. This is how it works. This is why The Right University is so important. It’s not about the degree. It’s about this entire life path, this entire system of manipulation and prestige, to make sure the children of the uber wealthy become the next generation of the uber wealthy, that they get exclusive opportunities and exclusive consideration. Every single step along this journey, there are other people clawing for the same opportunities but not getting them. Those people didn’t come from the right parents, or graduate from the right schools. Their applications weren’t as good, because they wrote them themselves, and most people (sorry, y’all, but it’s true) do not write nearly as well as they think they do. Their bios weren’t as perfect, because they didn’t have executive coaches and mentors to help them establish a fine-tuned personal brand. Their ideas weren’t as interesting, because they were working with their own stupid ideas and not the ideas of professional idea-havers. THE WHOLE SYSTEM IS RIGGED, YOU GUYS. It is rigged. Maybe you went from lower class to middle class, or lower middle class to upper middle class, and you feel like FUCKIN A I LOVE AMERICA AND BALD EAGLES AND MERITOCRACY, but it’s all an illusion. Even if you financially make your way into the nouveau riche layer of the upper class, you still won’t be one of the chosen unless you manage to hit some kind of insanely unlikely lottery (Barack and Michelle Obama come to mind), but you’re honestly more likely to get bit by a radioactive spider and start shooting web-shit from your wrists. The upper class is a closed system, thanks but no thanks, no vacancies, don’t let the door hit ya. I’ve taken jobs from 40-something year old men who handed the telephone to their daddies to talk about how to craft the right impression in their adult child’s “personal” letter. I’ve worked with executive coaches to hash out what jokes to write in order to best illustrate the “good humor” part of someone’s Personal Brand (TM) in a “personal” essay. THAT is how this works. There’s no such thing as meritocracy. The end.

Maybe someone should write less...

[Tailgate 3022]

9 hours ago, jimmyjazz said:

I got curious -- Center lives a few hundred yards away from me.  His kids should feed into Anderson HS, is that where they go?

It's a good neighborhood but nothing about their house would indicate they've been bankrolling much in excess of his UT salary (as if that means anything).

They go to St. Stephens 

[52-80 19159]

Cute essay.  But that's a whole lot of work to earn "low six figures".  Also, board positions at F500 don't pay 7 figures.

 

Maybe that Facebook should stick to writing college applications.

[tx 3 putt 76970]

2 hours ago, TwiceHorn said:

I got a B in PHY303K with a 28 average.

 im glad to find out that all college physics classes grade about the same way 

[Larry T. Spider 1746]

I’m much less concerned with resume padding by rich kids than the bad attitude, lazy, spoiled,  rich kids that continually are propped up by their parents. Those parents will go to amazing lengths to bully teachers and schools to keep any of their behavior infractions off their record, demand special programs, grade changes, etc. I know because it’s my job to deal with it, and thats only elementary school. 

I see the same kids get in trouble with the cops but their connections and high end lawyers are usually able to work their magic. Parents will continually pay for tutors and lawyers to get them through college and into a decent job. They don’t become ultra rich or anything but it pisses me off because the same bratty kid from the other side of town usually ends up with a criminal record and a low wage job, and certainly no degree.

[PittsburghTiger 6187]

4 hours ago, ButtFumble said:

start with the ones with the dildos hanging from their backpack something tells me they are more "open"

That’s a real thing?

[jimmyjazz 45960]

My undergrad engineering degree was at a smaller tech school with a 7:1 male-to-female ratio.  Trust me, the females were no catch.  (Neither were most of the guys.)  

Worst class I had was Heat Transfer, where the prof managed to dial in a class average of right at 35% every exam (and there were only 3).  50% got you an "A".  He figured it was his job to show you just how little you knew.  It worked.

[Larry T. Spider 1746]

3 minutes ago, PittsburghTiger said:

That’s a real thing?

Do you even cocks not glocks bro?

[Moby Ric 2058]

1 hour ago, Rimbo said:

I still get asked my GPA on job applications, and that was nearly a quarter of a century ago.

I don't do interviews, I own the company.  And if I interview someone to work for me I could care less what their GPA in college was.  If you graduated then you did good enough.

[PittsburghTiger 6187]

22 minutes ago, Larry T. Spider said:

Do you even cocks not glocks bro?

I reckon I need to get out more

[Buzzrock 14921]

My undergrad engineering degree was at a smaller tech school with a 7:1 male-to-female ratio.  Trust me, the females were no catch.  (Neither were most of the guys.)  
Worst class I had was Heat Transfer, where the prof managed to dial in a class average of right at 35% every exam (and there were only 3).  50% got you an "A".  He figured it was his job to show you just how little you knew.  It worked.

As the girls at GT would say: the odds are good but the goods are odd.

[Texas_Rocks 346]

Since none of these wealthy parents will actually be incarcerated it would be awesome if they get caught paying stand-ins to do the community service that they MIGHT get slapped with.

[AggieFactFinder 31]

1 hour ago, TwiceHorn said:

Rather than making an example of those who use wealth to abuse the system, I think it's entirely likely that a trial/sentencing judge sympathizes with the desire to "do right by" children and that it's not much different from buying a building or donating an endowed chair.

I get that thinking, but isn't the tax side of this pretty ugly?  Assuming they knew their "donations" were fake but deducted them anyway, that's a sizable fraud number that I don't think the judge can ignore.

Also I find the $1 million bail number insanely high.  Here is a serial killer whose bail was initially set at $1 million after being charged with 2 murders:

https://www.12news.com/article/news/crime/judge-will-determine-whether-to-deny-bail-to-accused-phoenix-serial-killer/75-511605185

Edited March 14, 2019 by AggieFactFinder

[Gil Bang 25960]

the kid is on Rick Caruso's yacht in the fucking Bahamas.  

[Gil Bang 25960]

 

[usmc0331horn 953]

Was that wrong dot gif.

[BrickHorn 18237]

1 hour ago, pacman said:

 

Fuck your legends of ut engineering, try the ut math department where your classes might as well be taught in a foreign language. You basically learn everything all by yourself 

 

 

This is being passed around on Facebook 

  Hide contents

I’m gathering from my feed that this whole college admissions scandal is really shocking to a lot of people. Well, sit down, babies, because I’m about to deal you a hard blow. This is nothing. I think a lot of people seriously have no idea how thoroughly the system is rigged. I spent several years as a for-hire writer who couldn’t afford to turn work away. This means I accepted a lot of jobs I feel icky about now, but it also means that I’ve seen firsthand how this all shakes out. (Important note: There is not a single person on my friends list who I am referring to with any of what I’m about to write. Also, I stopped taking the type of work I'm going to describe years ago. So if I’ve ever helped you with written material, or if I'm currently helping you: this does not apply to you.) See, getting little Asshole McGloatyFace III into Harvard is just the first domino en route to prestige and pedigree. That’s why it’s so important; the first domino starts the chain. The richest of rich parents get him there by donating a library collection or buying a building. The middling rich, like those in today’s story, cheat (and don’t for a single second think the people indicted today are the only ones, because they are not, not, not). The lowly rich hire people like me to write their kids’ essays and letters, pull together their resumes, and figure out how to make years of abject mediocrity sound good. And they don’t only hire people like me. They also hire special tutors and test prep gurus to teach their kids to hack the tests. They pull strings to get their kids special accommodations they don’t need, so they have more time to get all the math problems done on the SAT. They get interview coaches who teach their kids what to say when they go for their appointment. They lean on connections to get Harvard and Yale take a "second look" at their C+ student with a 980 SAT score. These kids get a complete team, and the face Asshole McGloatyFace presents to the Ivy isn’t his own; it’s a composite of all the best expertise his parents’ money could buy. When Asshole McGloatyFace is in school, his parents hire people like me again. Want to know how many papers I’ve written for undergraduate students? Graduate students? I couldn’t even tell you. It’s a higher number than I can remember offhand. Need a magic paper to save your grade in the class you’re failing? Need to save your half-assed thesis? I’ve done it all. I’m a better-than-average writer and I made my clients look good. All this work goes into making sure Asshole McGloatyFace graduates from an Ivy, because graduating from an Ivy—combined with the connections of Mom and/or Dad—means he gets internships at the best companies and firms. It means he gets interviews, even if his GPA is sub-3.0. It means he gets the best jobs when he graduates. He’s still an idiot, but now he’s an idiot earning high-five or low-six figures. This is when the next dominos start to fall. Asshole McGloatyFace’s company is going to get him an executive coach. Because he has the right name and the right degree and the right presentation, so he’s tagged as executive material, and they’re going to start grooming him now so he doesn’t make them look stupid later. The coach is going to teach him how to present himself, what photos to put in his office, what suits to wear and how to accessorize. If Asshole is a man, the coach is going to teach him how to open large meetings with a sweet, humanizing story about his family, especially his kids. If Asshole is a woman, the coach is going to teach her how to be brusque with a smile and never talk about her family under any circumstances, especially not her kids. Along with the executive coach, Asshole is also going to be assigned a mentor, someone accomplished and probably equally prestigious. The role of the mentor is to help Asshole McGloatyFace to meet the right people, form the right connections. The mentor is going to take Asshole McGloatyFace to events and make sure he knows all the power players in their city. The coach, mentor, and senior-ups are going to guide Asshole McGloatyFace to volunteer and charitable giving opportunities. Not just any volunteering and charitable giving, but those that are well-aligned to Asshole’s decided-upon Personal Brand (TM). Asshole is going to learn how to give lots of money and make it known, without appearing to brag about it. Asshole is also going to get seated on the best non-profit boards in his city. Some of these are competitive. Want to know how I know that? Because they require an essay, resume, and bio. And guess who writes those. So now Asshole is rubbing elbows with even more movers and shakers, and is establishing a high-quality Personal Brand (TM). At this point, Asshole has been promoted a couple times and is earning low-mid six figures. Buckle in, because here’s where lots of dominos start to fall. At this point, Asshole’s bio features an impressive school, an impressive job at an impressive company, impressive volunteer positions, impressive philanthropy, impressive Personal Brand (TM). This is enough to earn Asshole consideration for a whole host of things most average people have absolutely no awareness of. He’s going to apply for and be named one of his city’s “40 Under 40” and get a spread in a local, glossy magazine*. He’s going to apply for and get a position in his city’s “Up and Coming Young Leaders” program, and be interviewed on TV. He’s going to apply for and win a spot in his city’s “Wealthy People Pretending To Do Good But Really Just Hanging Out With Other Wealthy People” initiative, and get newspaper coverage. I’ll give you one guess who writes those applications. (*Note: I'm not shitting on "40 Under 40." Some folks make it on there for genuine charitable good deed, which is awesome.) By now Asshole’s been promoted again. He’s in his 40s, maybe 50s, and is earning high-six figures, and it’s time to go for the jackpot. Asshole has now built all the right credentials to apply for a position on a for-profit board. He probably won’t get the first one, and maybe not the second, but he’ll get the third or fourth. How quickly he gets picked up will have a lot to do with how well he’s nurtured his connections and how fondly people remember his parents, who are now elderly or dead. He’s going to link up with a Fortune 500, be named to their board, and pull in a seven-figure paycheck for turning up once per quarter to listen to updates from the CEO and make management decisions. He’ll need a resume, bio, and compelling personal letter to make this happen. Check, check, check. Asshole is now making millions of dollars per year, earning millions more on a board, and, as a loving parent, is guiding his own children through the exact same process. This is how it works. This is why The Right University is so important. It’s not about the degree. It’s about this entire life path, this entire system of manipulation and prestige, to make sure the children of the uber wealthy become the next generation of the uber wealthy, that they get exclusive opportunities and exclusive consideration. Every single step along this journey, there are other people clawing for the same opportunities but not getting them. Those people didn’t come from the right parents, or graduate from the right schools. Their applications weren’t as good, because they wrote them themselves, and most people (sorry, y’all, but it’s true) do not write nearly as well as they think they do. Their bios weren’t as perfect, because they didn’t have executive coaches and mentors to help them establish a fine-tuned personal brand. Their ideas weren’t as interesting, because they were working with their own stupid ideas and not the ideas of professional idea-havers. THE WHOLE SYSTEM IS RIGGED, YOU GUYS. It is rigged. Maybe you went from lower class to middle class, or lower middle class to upper middle class, and you feel like FUCKIN A I LOVE AMERICA AND BALD EAGLES AND MERITOCRACY, but it’s all an illusion. Even if you financially make your way into the nouveau riche layer of the upper class, you still won’t be one of the chosen unless you manage to hit some kind of insanely unlikely lottery (Barack and Michelle Obama come to mind), but you’re honestly more likely to get bit by a radioactive spider and start shooting web-shit from your wrists. The upper class is a closed system, thanks but no thanks, no vacancies, don’t let the door hit ya. I’ve taken jobs from 40-something year old men who handed the telephone to their daddies to talk about how to craft the right impression in their adult child’s “personal” letter. I’ve worked with executive coaches to hash out what jokes to write in order to best illustrate the “good humor” part of someone’s Personal Brand (TM) in a “personal” essay. THAT is how this works. There’s no such thing as meritocracy. The end.

I’m sure that shit goes on, but there are plenty of people who get into prestigious schools and work their way up to high-paying positions on their own merit.  Some people cheat the system.  That’s not the same as claiming the system is rigged to only reward cheaters.  

[TwiceHorn 31483]

11 minutes ago, AggieFactFinder said:

I get that thinking, but isn't the tax side of this pretty ugly?  Assuming they knew their "donations" were fake but deducted them anyway, that's a sizable fraud number that I don't think the judge can ignore.

Also I find the $1 million bail number insanely high.  Here is a serial killer whose bail was initially set at $1 million after being charged with 2 murders:

https://www.12news.com/article/news/crime/judge-will-determine-whether-to-deny-bail-to-accused-phoenix-serial-killer/75-511605185

The federal system is fucked up when it comes to bail.  The initial tendency is not to grant it at all, most federal defendants are detained.  But the guy who got the $1M is a wealthy Italian (Mr. Mossimo Loughlin), so presumably there is a legitimate fear that he might flea the jurisdiction and the amount is sufficient to make him think twice about it.  The intent of the Phoenix bond, of course, is more to keep him incarcerated than anything else.

I think $500k is the biggest single donation I have heard of and that's pretty small potatoes in the world of white collar crime, which is routinely sentenced way under guidelines, unlike most other offenses.

I would imagine the tax aspects of this get treated civilly rather than criminally.  Because the donations were actually to a charitable org in most cases, it's probably tough to prove the state of mind for the tax crime.

Edited March 14, 2019 by TwiceHorn

[TwiceHorn 31483]

9 minutes ago, BrickHorn said:

I’m sure that shit goes on, but there are plenty of people who get into prestigious schools and work their way up to high-paying positions on their own merit.  Some people cheat the system.  That’s not the same as claiming the system is rigged to only reward cheaters.  

Exhibit A might be BrickHorn himself.  If you haven't gleaned his educational credentials, they're quite impressive and earned on merit.  I have no idea what kind of string-pulling white supremacist Republitards his parents might be though.

Edited March 14, 2019 by TwiceHorn

[BrickHorn 18237]

5 minutes ago, TwiceHorn said:

Exhibit A might be BrickHorn himself.

I think in the law, that’s very common.  It’s hard to hide an empty suit in a law firm.  It can be done, but you can’t have a firm full of dipshits with rich daddies.  I’d wager 95% of Shag lawyers got into law school and earned their position on merit.

Maybe the privilege cycle is more prevalent in the business world.

Edited March 14, 2019 by BrickHorn

[Johnny Sack 8397]

5 minutes ago, BrickHorn said:

I think in the law, that’s very common.  It’s hard to hide an empty suit in a law firm.  It can be done, but you can’t have a firm full of dipshits with rich daddies.  I’d wager 95% of Shag lawyers got into law school and earned their position on merit.

Maybe the privilege cycle is more prevalent in the business world.

Commercial real estate, holla!

[TwiceHorn 31483]

3 minutes ago, BrickHorn said:

I think in the law, that’s very common.  It’s hard to hide an empty suit in a law firm.  It can be done, but you can’t have a firm full of dipshits with rich daddies.  I’d wager 95% of Shag lawyers got into law school and earned their position on merit.

Maybe the privilege cycle is more prevalent in the business world.

True enough, particularly in our little area.  Occasionally, though, you see someone get an opportunity based mostly on who their Daddy is, and they inherit just enough aptitude to take advantage despite their lack of achievement.

[TwiceHorn 31483]

Just now, Johnny Sack said:

Commercial real estate, holla!

Gawd yes.

[Johnny Sack 8397]

Just now, TwiceHorn said:

Gawd yes.

I run with a lot of those guys.  And most are really, really good at what they do.  But a sizeable minority aren’t and still bank.  

And I have friends who work in and manage their “family office”.  

[Mole 4333]

2 hours ago, Larry T. Spider said:

This thread turned into a bunch of nerds.

I took 1 math/science class in college. I think it was called “science.”

[Johnny Sack 8397]

Just now, Mole said:

I took 1 math/science class in college. I think it was called “science.”

I took business calc at HCC and my science classes were astronomy and enviro science.  I did ap chemistry in high school

[TwiceHorn 31483]

10 minutes ago, Johnny Sack said:

I run with a lot of those guys.  And most are really, really good at what they do.  But a sizeable minority aren’t and still bank.  

And I have friends who work in and manage their “family office”.  

Yeah, there is a skill set involved and a lot of it is the same thing that made them top-notch frat guys, most of whom aren't abject morons, anyway.  There are a few, however, that have access to deals that they couldn't possibly fuck up, solely as a result of being ______________'s boy.

Also know a family office guy.  Very solid guy, smart, hard worker, always has been.  Graduated with highest honors from UT.  A really prime example of a guy that grew up in immense privilege and was largely unaffected by it.

Shit, the Grand Chancellor my first year in law school was a KA.

Edited March 14, 2019 by TwiceHorn

[tx 3 putt 76970]

1 hour ago, jimmyjazz said:

My undergrad engineering degree was at a smaller tech school with a 7:1 male-to-female ratio.  Trust me, the females were no catch.  (Neither were most of the guys.)  

Worst class I had was Heat Transfer, where the prof managed to dial in a class average of right at 35% every exam (and there were only 3).  50% got you an "A".  He figured it was his job to show you just how little you knew.  It worked.

 

damn that's brutal. 

[happyfunball 481]

[Beau Vine 54230]

1 hour ago, Moby Ric said:

I don't do interviews, I own the company.  And if I interview someone to work for me I could care less what their GPA in college was.  If you graduated then you did good enough.

[Beau Vine 54230]

51 minutes ago, Johnny Sack said:

Commercial real estate, holla!

The worst part of when I used to teach real estate was when students came up to me with, "I really like this stuff.  How do I get a career in it?" my reply would be, "Do you know anyone in commercial real estate?"

[Beau Vine 54230]

1 hour ago, Buzzrock said:

 

As the girls at GT would say: the odds are good but the goods are odd.

They say that at Mines too.  The guys at Mines: "Girls at Mines are like parking spots on campus -- they're either already taken, handicapped, or way too far out to care about."

[DCA_HORN 725]

I know a guy that transferred from Mines to aggy. Must be brutal for that to happen.

[Moby Ric 2058]

21 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

I stand corrected.  I couldn't care less.  Thanks for clearing that up for me.

[Fuck Tim Beck 3816]

1 hour ago, Gil Bang said:

 

Who has time for school when you have gray anal hair to lick? Her mom taught her well. 

[tx 3 putt 76970]

4 minutes ago, Fuck Tim Beck said:

Who has time for school when you have gray anal hair to lick? Her mom taught her well. 

 Rick Caruso - billionaire. The yacht was in the bahamas for 'spring break', his daughter and boat full of coeds 

[jimmyjazz 45960]

32 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

They say that at Mines too.  The guys at Mines: "Girls at Mines are like parking spots on campus -- they're either already taken, handicapped, or way too far out to care about."

At UMR they built a wooden foot bridge over a creek, and it didn't take long for someone to append the "Weight Limit 1 Ton" sign with "or 2 Rolla girls".

It was one of those "too close to the truth" things to seem as funny as it actually was.

[TwiceHorn 31483]

Just now, jimmyjazz said:

At UMR they built a wooden foot bridge over a creek, and it didn't take long for someone to append the "Weight Limit 1 Ton" sign with "or 2 Rolla girls".

It was one of those "too close to the truth" things to seem as funny as it actually was.

There was a chick (loosely defined), in our era that rode her bike to ETC from God knows where, wearing spandex and a helmet and shoes, the whole schmear and did not have a spandex worthy bod.  She would come in with her spandexed fat rolls heaving and sweaty. Apparently, she would go in that ladies room next to the Taylor Lounge and give herself sponge baths using paper towels at the sink.  The cool/semi-hot gals had nothing good to say about her or her hygiene habits.

The freshman calculus classes held in ETC made the scenery around ME quite acceptable at times.

[DCA_HORN 725]

There are only two acceptable shitters in ETC 6th floor and in a pinch 1st floor.

[Cajun 11705]

2 hours ago, Gil Bang said:

 

[GabrielsHorn 2183]

3 hours ago, jimmyjazz said:

My undergrad engineering degree was at a smaller tech school with a 7:1 male-to-female ratio.  Trust me, the females were no catch.  (Neither were most of the guys.)  

Worst class I had was Heat Transfer, where the prof managed to dial in a class average of right at 35% every exam (and there were only 3).  50% got you an "A".  He figured it was his job to show you just how little you knew.  It worked.

How was New Mexico Tech?

Also, that is how it was at UT as well. I remember getting my first dif eq test back and seeing a 40 and trying to figure out whether to drop the class or switch majors before the professor revealed the average was a 25.