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Office pranks to play on office jackass

Greg Davis Apologist

By Greg Davis Apologist
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Greg Davis Apologist

Greg Davis Apologist 213

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So I work in an office of about 20 people and there is one guy that, if everyone is being honest, no one can stand. You know the guy--- he thinks he's smarter than he really is but consistently types phases like "Your welcome!" to customers, hits the reply all button when totally unnecessary, and just has no sense of awareness. To add to this, he's about 6'6" 250 lbs and he hides behind God even though he's a total asshole. 

Anyone have any good pranks for April Fool's Day or any other day of the year? I was thinking about giving his cell phone number and email address to a bunch of random websites and just have him constantly bombed since he seems to love attention. 

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AUS-97HORN

AUS-97HORN 11824

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the classic move of taking a screenshot of his wallpaper (incl all the folders and exe files), making that screenshot his wallpaper, and then moving all the exe files and folders off the main screen into the virtual larger screen still works for a lot of people.

 

nothing funnier than watching a guy pound the mouse click button on exe or file folder that is actually just a screenshot, and watching them lose their shit.

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MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8823

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So I work in an office of about 20 people and there is one guy that, if everyone is being honest, no one can stand. You know the guy--- he thinks he's smarter than he really is but consistently types phases like "Your welcome!" to customers, hits the reply all button when totally unnecessary, and just has no sense of awareness. To add to this, he's about 6'6" 250 lbs and he hides behind God even though he's a total asshole. 
Anyone have any good pranks for April Fool's Day or any other day of the year? I was thinking about giving his cell phone number and email address to a bunch of random websites and just have him constantly bombed since he seems to love attention. 
So cat facts?
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Greg Davis Apologist

Greg Davis Apologist 213

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Just now, Fuck Tim Beck said:

Sounds like aggy or rapelor bear. 

Shit in his desk 

He's actually a "Longhorn fan" who knows nothing about Texas athletics but loves to talk about it. We were at a lunch meeting with a customer (Arkansas fan) the other day and this retard says, "So, is Arkansas in the Big 12?"

I nearly fell out of my chair. 

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SimonBolivar

SimonBolivar 10961

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24 minutes ago, AUS-97HORN said:

the classic move of taking a screenshot of his wallpaper (incl all the folders and exe files), making that screenshot his wallpaper, and then moving all the exe files and folders off the main screen into the virtual larger screen still works for a lot of people.

 

nothing funnier than watching a guy pound the mouse click button on exe or file folder that is actually just a screenshot, and watching them lose their shit.

This is my go to. Works like a charm.

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Zepol87

Zepol87 9198

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Just now, Greg Davis Apologist said:

He kind of has a bully mentality for some of the people in our office who can't defend themselves and they'll do whatever he says. There are several of us who don't take his shit though. 

Gotcha, well fuck that guy but I really have no idea what to do. My director stopped all our pranks last year when we started getting out of hand with caller ID changes and redirecting webpages to gay porn sites

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bamachine

bamachine 1231

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52 minutes ago, AUS-97HORN said:

the classic move of taking a screenshot of his wallpaper (incl all the folders and exe files), making that screenshot his wallpaper, and then moving all the exe files and folders off the main screen into the virtual larger screen still works for a lot of people.

 

nothing funnier than watching a guy pound the mouse click button on exe or file folder that is actually just a screenshot, and watching them lose their shit.

Then us IT guys have to deal with the asshole. So you are punishing us also.

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HOOKEM4

HOOKEM4 5045

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Post a picture of a slightly high end bike for sale on craigslist, nothing insanely expensive, just nice enough for people to get excited and believe it is real. Title it free, in description put some bs in about how your husband cheated on you so you just want it gone asap.

That dude will have 100's of calls all day. 

Source, me. One of by friends did this to me several years ago. I got so many calls in such a short period of time my phone died even though I rejected all the calls.

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HOOKEM4

HOOKEM4 5045

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9 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

Open a can of tuna and shove it in the far corner of a desk drawer.

Ohh I almost forgot one of the best pranks we pulled. Took a small amount of stink bait and taped it under the desk way in the back behind a drawer. Not a bunch of it, you want them to get faint whiffs of it. 

We did this and the guy went to the store, bought a scrub brush and carpet cleaner. We found him furiously scrubbing the carpet in his office as he was sure the little spots of mud/dirt/old stains were actually shit.

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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8836

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8 minutes ago, VinyVango said:

put a dob of shaving cream (or another substance) in the concave area of the ear portion of his phone.  Call him.  Wait 2 days.  Repeat process.

What are you? From the 70s or something? Have you seen modern office phones lately? They flatter than your 12 year old sister.

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davidg

davidg 4038

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1 hour ago, HOOKEM4 said:

Post a picture of a slightly high end bike for sale on craigslist, nothing insanely expensive, just nice enough for people to get excited and believe it is real. Title it free, in description put some bs in about how your husband cheated on you so you just want it gone asap.

That dude will have 100's of calls all day. 

Source, me. One of by friends did this to me several years ago. I got so many calls in such a short period of time my phone died even though I rejected all the calls.

A bike?  Screw that.  Goats.    Goats for Sale!  Cheap!   Call early.  Must be gone by this weekend.

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Judge Roybeanbag

Judge Roybeanbag 11821

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1 hour ago, MissingInAction said:

If he his a rolling chair shove a wad of paper in between the wheel and it's cover so it won't roll. That or put a bunch rubber cement in the bearings.

Or if it's a black or dark blue fabric chair, soak the office seat carefully with a cup or two of water.  He won't see it until he sits down.  Then he'll either have to go home or swamp ass it all day.

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SurlyBDR

SurlyBDR 22864

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2 hours ago, HOOKEM4 said:

Post a picture of a slightly high end bike for sale on craigslist, nothing insanely expensive, just nice enough for people to get excited and believe it is real. Title it free, in description put some bs in about how your husband cheated on you so you just want it gone asap.

That dude will have 100's of calls all day. 

Source, me. One of by friends did this to me several years ago. I got so many calls in such a short period of time my phone died even though I rejected all the calls.

I have a friend that had something similar done to him, except the ad was for a pony. 

 

Hilarity ensued 

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ztejas

ztejas 43554

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2 hours ago, markstanco said:

https://www.ruindays.com/products/spring-loaded-glitter-bomb?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIq5-xiZyg4QIVl7XACh3u6gsqEAAYASAAEgKWBfD_BwE&variant=12317569155143

I bought this a year ago for my sales manager after he taped an airhorn to the bottom of my office chair. 

What kind of sick, twisted fuck would spend $20 on that and not triple the glitter for another $3?

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dingleberryswitzer

dingleberryswitzer 2724

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Find many pictures of something he's afraid of/doesn't like/rival school/(drag queens work universally) and print them out and then just hide them in places in his office.  Under desk, inside books, in between pages of a calendar, tiny ones inside office supply boxes.  Get creative.  It's especially funny when he goes months then finds another. Pretty harmless prank.  

 

Replace his mouse with a broken one, or if you are in close proximity (like a cube farm) get the longest USB extension cable you can and plug in another mouse, run the cable to the next desk tjen just randomly move it around.  

You could do a large swath of small pranks altogether, change the monitor settings, replace his chair with a little stool, rearrange his desk, dumb shit like that.

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Greg Davis Apologist

Greg Davis Apologist 213

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Just now, MissingInAction said:

Print fake tickets to a show,game, whatever, then leave on his desk with a note, "For being an amazing employee".

He may kill you all, but totally worth it.

This is great. I would just put it in an envelope from one of our customers. Stars playoff tickets are perfect. I could get enough for his whole family.

My counterfeit ticket skills are kind of lacking though...

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MissingInAction

MissingInAction 25216

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Online tickets are easy. Just buy one ticket, screenshot, photoshop 5 more with adjoiningseat numbers. One ticket will work then it will be obvious as the others are scanned, and showing up as copies, that he got punkd.

Shit even mspaint would work for this.

Edited by MissingInAction
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Pato del Muerto

Pato del Muerto 52638

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I used to harass a cubr neighbor. 

Paper taped to the under side of the mouse blocking the optics. 

Took the wheels off of her chair. 

Turned her desk entirely around but then moved all the stuff on it back to normal, so that her desk drawers were against the wall and the kickplate was facing out. 

She had a water bottle with built in straw, I put tape over the bottom end of the straw. 

Drawer full of snacks got moved to another coworker’s drawer. 

Took the space bar off of her keyboard.  This was great until she finally got frustrated and called IT and they were like we have a million keyboards just come grab a new one.

Her best attempt to get me back was some setup with a glitter filled balloon and thumbtack, where I opened a cube cabinet and the balloon popped.  But the glitter just stayed in a pile, it didn’t get all over me.  

 

Edited by Pato del Muerto
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SydneyCarton

SydneyCarton 48222

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25 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

I used to harass a cubr neighbor. 

Paper taped to the under side of the mouse blocking the optics. 

Took the wheels off of her chair. 

Turned her desk entirely around but then moved all the stuff on it back to normal, so that her desk drawers were against the wall and the kickplate was facing out. 

She had a water bottle with built in straw, I put tape over the bottom end of the straw. 

Drawer full of snacks got moved to another coworker’s drawer. 

Took the space bar off of her keyboard.  This was great until she finally got frustrated and called IT and they were like we have a million keyboards just come grab a new one.

Her best attempt to get me back was some setup with a glitter filled balloon and thumbtack, where I opened a cube cabinet and the balloon popped.  But the glitter just stayed in a pile, it didn’t get all over me.  

 

With that kind of attention, I'm surprised her best efforts to get you back wasn't to fuck the shit out of you, because that will show you. I got that response several times when I was single, and I wasn't even trying to get laid. One girl I just fucking couldn't stand. Anyways, apologies for the derail. 

Edited by SydneyCarton
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