One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck in his ass.

[Goo Punch 4275]

True story. He bought it at the local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrassing for my relatives and all. But the next week, he did it again. Different cat, same results, complete with a trip to the emergency room. Then, last week, I saw him in the pet store. He was buying another cat. I said, "Walt, what the hell are you doing, you know you're just gonna get this cat stuck up your ass too, why don't you knock it off?" And he says to me, "Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?" My cousin was a weird guy.

[Goo Punch 4275]

whoa, it's a schooner!

ha! you dumb bastard. it's not a schooner, it's a sailboat.

a schooner is a sailboat, stupid head.

YOU KNOW WHAT?! THERE IS NO EASTER BUNNY! OVER THERE THATS JUST A GUY IN A SUIT!

[Aldo Raine 122]

That kid is back on the escalator!

[Goo Punch 4275]

what, like the back of a volkswagen?

[BlueGreySky 1004]

That kid is back on the escalator!

There's not a year that goes by--not a year--that I don't read about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid that could've easily been avoided had some parent--I don't care which one--but some parent conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator!

[Goo Punch 4275]

tell em Steve Dave!

[TheStoicPaisano 9922]