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What’s the right amount to spend on an engagement ring these days?

I Plead Da Fif
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I Plead Da Fif

I Plead Da Fif 293

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Will be getting engaged this year. I love the woman, and want to do everything I can to make her happy, but also not ruin our savings for a house in the near future. I make a good take home, not surly rich, but don’t have a ton in the savings right now due to immature money management. We’re now both much more frugal and are preparing for the future, but she is a knockout and I don’t want her walking around with a tiny diamond with men thinking she’s easy pickings. For full context, this will be both of our first marriages, and hopefully only. We both have no kids, I’m 32 and she’s 29.

I’ve been looking at 2 carat diamonds on rare carat. They’re around 11-13K on the cuts she likes with the custom band around another 1k. In total, that’d be a couple grand under 2 months take home.

What say you surl?

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Okie State

Okie State 3848

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The correct answer, besides don't get married, is always whatever you can afford. Ignore all the recommended amounts because it's irrelevant. Also, I've always believed that if your future wife cares that much about how much you spent...you're marrying the wrong woman.

 

 

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Celery Man

Celery Man 21001

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I know the 3 months thing, but that seems like a lot if you're trying to save for a house.  What does she think?  How important is the big rock, to her?

 

I married poor, and she didn't want a big rock.  I used the rule of thumb of "more expensive than my most expensive watch or guitar".

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Francisco 2.0

Francisco 2.0 32430

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Picked up a 1.49 carat solitaire at a small-town jewelry store that had trade-in stones, etc for just over $3000 in 2009.  Wife wasn't expecting a ring when I gave it to her, and she had never given me a preference on what kind of stone she preferred, etc. Point I'm making; there's lots of jewelry stores.....start asking around.  Same stone (in size and grade) ran as much as $7000 at that time at other places.

Surprisingly, pawn shops are a great place to go stone shopping as well.  

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South Austin

South Austin 52617

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Thankfully my then-girlfriend (now Mrs. South Austin) told me she didn’t want me to waste silly money on an overpriced diamond ring. Instead, I bought her a pair of diamond earrings. You’d be shocked at the difference in price ranges when you walk into a jewelry store and say, “I’m looking for an engagement ring,” versus “I’m looking for a really nice pair of diamond earrings for my girlfriend.” And I still got some wild and appreciative engagement sex.

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NoName

NoName 16407

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25 minutes ago, South Austin said:

Thankfully my then-girlfriend (now Mrs. South Austin) told me she didn’t want me to waste silly money on an overpriced diamond ring. Instead, I bought her a pair of diamond earrings. You’d be shocked at the difference in price ranges when you walk into a jewelry store and say, “I’m looking for an engagement ring,” versus “I’m looking for a really nice pair of diamond earrings for my girlfriend.” And I still got some wild and appreciative engagement sex.

small thing but if this is the direction you go, DeBeers sells lab grown diamonds through their Lightbox storefront for very reasonable prices. Right now they have 1 total CT solitaire (.5 ct per earring) studs for $1,000 - assuming they are still in stock.

Not shilling for them, just not something that everyone knows about and is a damn good deal for what it is. 

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I Plead Da Fif

I Plead Da Fif 293

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11 hours ago, Celery Man said:

I know the 3 months thing, but that seems like a lot if you're trying to save for a house.  What does she think?  How important is the big rock, to her?

 

I married poor, and she didn't want a big rock.  I used the rule of thumb of "more expensive than my most expensive watch or guitar".

Her and I discussed this and looked at a lot of different rings and rocks. She said she’d be really happy with a 2 carat after seeing how big it looks on her small hands, and I think that’s reasonable given 1) my salary, 2) shes a really good person, really sweet and loyal to me from the beginning, and 3) the hottest woman I’ve ever gotten to date me (will be 2 years this June). I told her it’s all about surface area, and if I can get a 1.9 carat for 2K less, with the same surface area on the finger, no one will know the difference. I don’t think she’s completely sold on that fact, but is logical and reasonable when I clearly communicate facts to her.

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I Plead Da Fif

I Plead Da Fif 293

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9 hours ago, immortal13 said:

I just spent 12k on the one I'm giving to mine. 1.75 ct princess cut. The 3 month salary thing is insane though.

I agree. I’ve found on rare carat, 2 ct Princess, Cushion, and Radiant cuts, which she likes, for high enough grades of the 4 C’s that are good for her, for around 12K. That’s what I think I’m going to go with and the few of y’all that have chimed in with the mindset of “be a bit more practical, 3 month salary tradition is crazy” is confirming my belief.

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I Plead Da Fif

I Plead Da Fif 293

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8 hours ago, woohorn said:

Sounds like you don't have the cash. The amount doesn't sound like a prob big picture, but I wouldn't finance.

The fact that Zep "knows" her means I wouldn't fiancé...

Didn’t plan on it. Will be able to save it in 3-4 months.

Also, some of you mfers don’t get around on this site. I loosely compared her body and style to Sierra Skye. He only “knows” her by what was posted.

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I Plead Da Fif

I Plead Da Fif 293

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4 minutes ago, Wally Fairway said:

Half your shit - you can give it to her now, or you can give it to her later.
Your choice

Actually she’s willing to sign a prenup. I told her she’d never take any of my stock (I’m in tech and will be investing more in the future), 401K, and I wouldn’t pay alimony, unless something like I cheated occurred.

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phdhorn

phdhorn 6224

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$500 for every point she rates on the hotness scale.  Need pics to see.

Thankfully my wife did not want one, we got sorta a wedding/engagement thingy with 2 loops or whatever that fasten or some shit like that (she picked it out, I just forked over the jack).  

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immortal13

immortal13 4059

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14 minutes ago, I Plead Da Fif said:

I agree. I’ve found on rare carat, 2 ct Princess, Cushion, and Radiant cuts, which she likes, for high enough grades of the 4 C’s that are good for her, for around 12K. That’s what I think I’m going to go with and the few of y’all that have chimed in with the mindset of “be a bit more practical, 3 month salary tradition is crazy” is confirming my belief.

I was looking in the 1.5 ct range to start with before I found a great deal on the 1.75 stone(a very high grade). I promise you she would be thrilled with much less, but I don't want to wish I had done more later on. My girl has no idea about the ring, which is how I wanted it. The setting is custom and being made right now. It won't be ready for about 2 weeks. When it is, I am going to take her hiking and propose next to an old bench that we carved our names into about 6 months ago. It took me over 40 years to find someone like her , and I really can't wait. 

I would say 2 ct is really on the big side, but I guess you're kind of stuck since she already knows about it and that's what "she wants." When mine is all said and done with the matching wedding band, I will have almost 15k in the ring. Hopefully she can keep up with the damn thing...lol

Edited by immortal13
I suck at readin' and writin'
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immortal13

immortal13 4059

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4 minutes ago, I Plead Da Fif said:

And that is the reaction I’m hoping to get by some people. She’s a knockout, if anyone is going to be rocking a good sized diamond, she’s one of them.

I feel the same way. I already have to beat the guys off of her wherever we go. The rock should ward off all but the most thirsty fucks. 

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I Plead Da Fif

I Plead Da Fif 293

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1 minute ago, immortal13 said:

I was looking in the 1.5 ct range to start with before I found a great deal on the 1.75 stone(a very high grade). I promise you she would be thrilled with much less, but I don't want to wish I had done more later on. My girl has no idea about the ring, which is how I wanted it. The setting is custom and being made right now. It won't be ready for about 2 weeks. When it is, I am going to take her hiking to one and propose next to an old bench that we carved our names into about 6 months ago. It took me over 40 years to find someone like her , and I really can't wait. 

I would say 2 ct is really on the big side, but I guess you're kind of stuck since she already knows about it and that's what "she wants." When mine is all said and done with the matching wedding band, I will have almost 15k in the ring. Hopefully she can keep up with the damn thing...lol

I’ve looked at bands and diamonds and all in no more than 14K and that is with a platinum band and another half carat in diamonds on the band, which is a little more than I need to get to make her really happy. I agree with her that something that looks big on her finger is something a girl like her deserves. She used to date 40 year old men that were millionaires. She’s been in almost every brand of exotic car. She’s lived in Denver most her life, and I’m pretty certain I’m Eskimo Bros with Ty Lawson, based on the fact she said she’s been to his house numerous times. I’m her sweet spot of closer to age, mature, old soul (she is too), with the ability to provide for the family we both want without having the poors.

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NoName

NoName 16407

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1 hour ago, I Plead Da Fif said:

Her and I discussed this and looked at a lot of different rings and rocks. She said she’d be really happy with a 2 carat after seeing how big it looks on her small hands, and I think that’s reasonable given 1) my salary, 2) shes a really good person, really sweet and loyal to me from the beginning, and 3) the hottest woman I’ve ever gotten to date me (will be 2 years this June). I told her it’s all about surface area, and if I can get a 1.9 carat for 2K less, with the same surface area on the finger, no one will know the difference. I don’t think she’s completely sold on that fact, but is logical and reasonable when I clearly communicate facts to her.

this site legit may help you here https://www.diamdb.com/compare/1.9ct-round-8.05x8.05x4.85-vs-2ct-round-8.19x8.19x4.94/

can see it on a finger with her ring size, etc

1.9 ct round is about 8.05mm 

2.0 ct round is about 8.19mm (3% larger face up area)

all that said, it is 2k in the scheme of things and if it makes her happy...

 

 

 

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I Plead Da Fif

I Plead Da Fif 293

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17 minutes ago, Telegraph_it said:

Is this the thread where we also complain that the FIL offered to pay for the wedding or give cash and the wife chose the big wedding. It still hurts to think about sometimes.

Luckily she said she doesn’t want a fancy wedding. Something like in a backyard or a park (re: little to no facilities cost.) I’m a really good cook and could make a lot of finger foods and we maybe just cater dinner. She has friends that are DJs in Denver that are looking for resume builders and can be had on the cheap. She’s very reasonable.

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I Plead Da Fif

I Plead Da Fif 293

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4 minutes ago, NoName said:

this site legit may help you here https://www.diamdb.com/compare/1.9ct-round-8.05x8.05x4.85-vs-2ct-round-8.19x8.19x4.94/

can see it on a finger with her ring size, etc

1.9 ct round is about 8.05mm 

2.0 ct round is about 8.19mm (3% larger face up area)

all that said, it is 2k in the scheme of things and if it makes her happy...

 

 

 

Will definitely take a look. Thanks!

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hornbri

hornbri 1411

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 I don’t want her walking around with a tiny diamond with men thinking she’s easy pickings.

Quote

 if I can get a 1.9 carat for 2K less, with the same surface area on the finger, no one will know the difference

Quote

And that is the reaction I’m hoping to get by some people. She’s a knockout, if anyone is going to be rocking a good sized diamond, she’s one of them.

Honestly you seem way to worried about what other people think. 

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