What’s the right amount to spend on an engagement ring these days?

[William_Cannon 86]

I shit you not when I tell you I spent $17 bucks on the engagement ring. That’s right seventeen USD.

I actually asked her if she wanted a nice ring and a fancy wedding, or if she prefer to buy a home within the next two years. So I bought a plain silver band which she wears and appreciates to this day. We bought a house 2 years later and paid it off 12 years after making the first payment (on one income nonetheless).

Don’t get me wrong there is something to say about tradition, making her feel special, etc. However, there is also something to being financially forward looking, setting goals, and taking some of the rat race pressure off of your marriage. Have the conversation with her about where you want to be in 2 years, 5 years, 10 years. Then discuss how you two will get there.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21907]

I can't wait for this dude's posts in the wives and the stupid shit they say/do thread. 

And shortly thereafter in the divorce thread where he will bitch about how much he spent on an engagement ring that she hocked to buy her boyfriend something.

[immortal13 4059]

3 hours ago, William_Cannon said:

I shit you not when I tell you I spent $17 bucks on the engagement ring. That’s right seventeen USD.

I actually asked her if she wanted a nice ring and a fancy wedding, or if she prefer to buy a home within the next two years. So I bought a plain silver band which she wears and appreciates to this day. We bought a house 2 years later and paid it off 12 years after making the first payment (on one income nonetheless).

Don’t get me wrong there is something to say about tradition, making her feel special, etc. However, there is also something to being financially forward looking, setting goals, and taking some of the rat race pressure off of your marriage. Have the conversation with her about where you want to be in 2 years, 5 years, 10 years. Then discuss how you two will get there.

[I Plead Da Fif 272]

On 4/27/2019 at 10:21 PM, immortal13 said:

Honestly, I can't wait to make contributions to that thread. 

This

[I Plead Da Fif 272]

On 4/28/2019 at 6:41 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

And shortly thereafter in the divorce thread where he will bitch about how much he spent on an engagement ring that she hocked to buy her boyfriend something.

And then bitching about the child support that I'm paying, amirite?

NMAS, spending ~$8K all in on an engagement ring isn't too much, and if it is, you clearly have the poors, which I'm sure you don't. That's 1 months salary for me after taxes. I can manage. And if it doesn't work out, then X number of years from now I can bitch with all of you jaded people in the threads and never get married again and instead treat women entirely as transactions. For now, I'll just laugh at the thought of you trying to give advice on women given your screen name and the myriad of other posts I've seen you add to the board. Everyone decides to spend their money differently. I don't spend any money at bars anymore, at all. That right there is probably 5K a year. I'll manage.

Edited April 30, 2019 by I Plead Da Fif

[Chewbacca 7780]

59 minutes ago, I Plead Da Fif said:

And then bitching about the child support that I'm paying, amirite?

NMAS, spending ~$8K all in on an engagement ring isn't too much, and if it is, you clearly have the poors, which I'm sure you don't. That's 1 months salary for me after taxes. I can manage. And if it doesn't work out, then X number of years from now I can bitch with all of you jaded people in the threads and never get married again and instead treat women entirely as transactions. For now, I'll just laugh at the thought of you trying to give advice on women given your screen name and the myriad of other posts I've seen you add to the board. Everyone decides to spend their money differently. I don't spend any money at bars anymore, at all. That right there is probably 5K a year. I'll manage.

I don't believe you.  You should post your paystub.

[SimonBolivar 10958]

On 4/19/2019 at 12:46 PM, I Plead Da Fif said:

Already said up thread, but I’m 32 and she’s 29. I’ve been in more longer term relationships than her, including deciding to leave a girl that I started dating in college that I was with for 4 years, because I just knew I hadn’t met the one yet where I felt certain. With that said, I think she’s dated a lot of what she doesn’t want too. She tells me no one treats her better than me, and she feels so incredibly loved. I’m not dropping any kind of money really to accomplish this (we share rent, me 2/3rds bc I make 3 times her salary), but things like starting her work days with making her pour over coffee, listening, doing little sweet things for her, eating her ass better than any man has before, etc.

Another positive going for her, her parents are still married, even though they’ve had their problems, in part due to the more traditional culture they come from. She’s born in Mexico, and comes from a more simple upbringing. No one on her side of the family will be putting pressure on us for anything extravagant as far as a wedding is concerned. She just wants all of her family to be present, based on everything she’s communicated.

I feel like based on my dating experience, I’ll never be more sure.

Yeah this isn't going to be cheap. I haven't officially proposed yet, but we're in almost the same boat (minus the sugar daddies) and her #1 priority is to make sure that all of her family is NOT there. Her great grandmother had over 100 grandkids and great grankids in Mexico before she died at 103.

[I Plead Da Fif 272]

23 minutes ago, SimonBolivar said:

Yeah this isn't going to be cheap. I haven't officially proposed yet, but we're in almost the same boat (minus the sugar daddies) and her #1 priority is to make sure that all of her family is NOT there. Her great grandmother had over 100 grandkids and great grankids in Mexico before she died at 103.

Holy crap dude!! I don’t think we’re going to have more than 100 total present. Most of her family she wants there is already here in Denver, minus grand parents. My side will probably max out around 25. The most heads I’ve seen at her nephews kids birthday party, which is a much bigger deal than I could imagine, had around 50 max.

[SimonBolivar 10958]

8 minutes ago, I Plead Da Fif said:

Holy crap dude!! I don’t think we’re going to have more than 100 total present. Most of her family she wants there is already here in Denver, minus grand parents. My side will probably max out around 25. The most heads I’ve seen at her nephews kids birthday party, which is a much bigger deal than I could imagine, had around 50 max.

Yeah I've never seen anything like it. I'm from a WASP family and have like 15 relatives living that I would call family. She has hundreds and hundreds of cousins and all of them will be offended when they aren't invited. We thought about doing a destination wedding, but my parents won't fly so it had to be drivable and she has family in Texas, Missouri, Iowa, California, North Carolina, and New Hampshire so there really isn't anywhere we can go that's far enough away.

Edited April 30, 2019 by SimonBolivar

[Lhorn 4914]

I have no opinion other than get what seems reasonable and for the right reason. When I got married my wife and I were still in school on loans. It was a weird situation because we knew we’d be well paid in the future but that future was still 3+ years off.  Based on our budget at the time her ring was a smallish but not embarrassingly so. Now that we have been married for 21 and are pretty well off she’s been offered an upgrade in her stone but turned me down because she likes her original stone. We are both very practical people.  We drive old cars too.  

I heard of acquaintances who got married and the woman expressed great disappointment in the size of the ring they received. That’s pretty cringy stuff.

Good luck to the OP.  

 

[NotActuallyALonghorn 4976]

On 4/21/2019 at 7:18 PM, immortal13 said:

Elaborate for us gringos 

Padrinos are family members or even close friends who sponsor something. So someone will sponsor your cake, or her dress, or the bar, etc. That's all stuff you don't have to pay for. The flip side is you will then be asked to sponsor stuff for other family members. And not just for weddings, quinceaneras too. If homeboy puts a big rock on her hand, they will probably get asked to sponsor more expensive stuff. There's also the side effect of being married to someone with the Latin temper. 

Edited May 1, 2019 by NotActuallyALonghorn

[I Plead Da Fif 272]

3 hours ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

Padrinos are family members or even close friends who sponsor something. So someone will sponsor your cake, or her dress, or the bar, etc. That's all stuff you don't have to pay for. The flip side is you will then be asked to sponsor stuff for other family members. And not just for weddings, quinceaneras too. If homeboy puts a big rock on her hand, they will probably get asked to sponsor more expensive stuff. There's also the side effect of being married to someone with the Latin temper. 

I had a prior Latina gf who was actually crazy so this is really really easy relatively speaking. Predictability plays a big part in it. I know I have a day or two of dumbfuckery when she starts her period then she’s very reasonable.

[I Plead Da Fif 272]

The flip side to that is very good looking white women expect a certain level of catering to that a lot of Hispanic women laugh at.

In the 2 years we’ve lived together I haven’t had to clean the bathroom, once.

[immortal13 4059]

Well I finally got her ring yesterday, which took over a month, but ended up being on the same day we had a camping trip planned. After we got camp set up, I got her alone on a hike on the trail where our little special spot is that we had carved our names in the old bench. We sat down for a break and I started up a conversation about our relationship and how things are going. Almost immediately I had her smiling and blushing and squeezing my hand. Before it became obvious what I was about to do, I slid down on one knee and pulled out the ring as I asked her to marry me......and she said yes. The timing could not have worked out more perfectly. She was completely surprised and blown away by the ring I chose for her. I am one happy bastard today, and a damn lucky one too. 

Edited May 18, 2019 by immortal13

[Clintonaldo 2574]

12 hours ago, immortal13 said:

Well I finally got her ring yesterday, which took over a month, but ended up being on the same day we had a camping trip planned. After we got camp set up, I got her alone on a hike on the trail where our little special spot is that we had carved our names in the old bench. We sat down for a break and I started up a conversation about our relationship and how things are going. Almost immediately I had her smiling and blushing and squeezing my hand. Before it became obvious what I was about to do, I slid down on one knee and pulled out the ring as I asked her to marry me......and she said yes. The timing could not have worked out more perfectly. She was completely surprised and blown away by the ring I chose for her. I am one happy bastard today, and a damn lucky one too. 

Happy for your dumbass

[tantric superman 4667]

I spent the equivalent of $1300 in 2019 dollars on mine back in 1987.  It's a pretty setting, but laughably small rocks (5).  She really likes it and always wears it, and to me it's more practical than a single rock. 

She is the type of person who is not really all into jewelry (thankfully). 

To each his own.  I admire people who have style and do the nice suits and watches and jewelry etc., but that's not us.  (Off the rack suits, ironman watches, Honda Fits and HRVs....)

[Walte464 450]

Just picked my custom ring from Calvin’s, was very impressed with the work.

[52-80 19159]

he went to calvins!