The Florida Thread

[ABSR 5,324]

3 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

Sounds like a banger of a first date....

Don't care, had tracheotomy.

[crash_davis 23,115]

Her: "You mean I get to cut a dude's throat AND thieve you some new shoes? Your birthday is coming up. I'm in."

[BabaYaga 15,320]

3 minutes ago, crash_davis said:

Her: "You mean I get to cut a dude's throat AND thieve you some new shoes? Your birthday is coming up. I'm in."

[Trey3216 15,357]

[LebongJames 1,813]

On 7/26/2023 at 2:20 PM, YGIFS said:

She was technically 17 when she first contacted the hitman.  And in Florida, you have to be 18 to enter into a legally binding contract.  Except for a marriage license, only need to be 13 to get one of those in the backwards-ass Sunshine State that so many Texans wish to emulate.

You know how we talk about what a civic benefit it would be if all young Americans had to spend a year abroad in the peace corps or volunteering or basic military training?  I think all Americans should have to live in Florida for one year.  And I don't mean working at Disney or South Beach or NASA, but the real Florida.  Spend 365 days in that twilight zone of a state and then you'll think twice when you open your fucking mouth about how some Florida leaders have some really promising ideas.  It's fucking Thunderdome over there, no rules, just 100 degree oceans and homicidal toddlers.  

I know there are a lot of shitty parts of Florida and people can be bat shit crazy but we live in Florida now and have lived in all the major metros of Texas. I don’t really see a difference.

Our neighborhood here is all multiple million dollar homes with brick paved streets. Can walk to multiple Michelin rated restaurants. Have great schools, nice grocery stores. Super high quality of life and feel very safe. The only drawback for me is all the New Yorkers and Philly people.
 

It is never 115 but is super humid. It’s also never cold. We have high speed rail connecting major cities now. 

I guess it’s all about where you live in the state but the same is very true about Texas.

Edited October 28, 2023 by LebongJames

[YGIFS 19,452]

Yes, I agree-all large states have nice and shitty parts.  I just think much of the country has a fundamental misunderstanding of how/who Florida really is.  I lived there, briefly.  Have family in Boca Raton-Palm Beach area.  Aunt lived in Miami proper for many years in a nice area.  Father lived in Bonita Springs/Naples area for a few years and really liked it before moving back North to die.  Still have another uncle with a place in Naples.  Lots of friends with places everywhere from Fort Walton Beach to Saint Joe and points in between.  Still have many close friends in the Tampa/St. Pete/Clearwater area (which is underrated IMO).  People think where they live is great and everywhere else is dicey, film at 11.  I tried it, still visit if often, just ain't for me.  That's all.  But we're seriously, seriously considering leaving Texas and we live in a good part of it, can't imagine the shitshow elsewhere around the Lone Star State.  

Some of my best memories though of living there are of Cape launches, New Smyrna beach sunrises after a long night partying, cruising the Everglades, and trips to/through the Keys.  Helps wash out the taste of Jacksonville, Orlando, West Palm, Fort Myers/Sarasota, and everything from Gainesville to Tallahassee to the GA borders. 

As you were probably typing out your reply, I was helping setup our school carnival.  Guy brought some tunes to pass the time.  Buffett comes on and people are talking about if they liked him or not.  I said, "I played him a bit on my radio show growing up, but he was never my thing.  When I moved to Florida to start college, tried to get into him more.  When you cross the border, they hand you a Buffett CD and a bag of crystal meth."  Without skipping a beat, the booster club mom organizer said, "What'd do you end up doing with the CD after that?"  She was salty when I got there but I like her a lot now.   

[crash_davis 23,115]

https://www.fox35orlando.com/news/drunk-tourist-sexually-molests-manatee-statue-at-florida-restaurant-after-being-asked-to-leave-deputies-say

Drunk tourist sexually molests manatee statue at Florida restaurant after being asked to leave, deputies say

The man from Pittsburgh is accused of throwing gator nuggets into Rick's Reef Restaurant – and deputies found more of them in his pants pocket when he was arrested. According to the Rick's Reef Restaurant menu, "gator bites" are pieces of fresh, fried gator. 

When staff confronted Lessa, he "became belligerent" and "sexually molested" a manatee statue in the presence of staff and other patrons, the affidavit said. 

[cmontexas 3,282]

Long story on ESPN about the Fort Myers High baseball team and the racist bullying from coaches parents and teammates of former Brave Michael Tucker's kid eventually leading to a racist walkout

http://www.espn.com/espn/story/_/id/39869353/fort-myers-high-school-baseball-racial-slur-walkout-boycott

 

[closetohumping 17,474]

Florida man pulls gun on Uber driver

 

https://www.foxla.com/news/florida-man-points-ar-15-rifle-in-uber-drivers-face-for-dropping-daughter-off-at-his-home-deputies?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAR0dG1ZaS8bjZBPdg4Gz0MjHM2FIw-2F5apZoiEHciG2Ed-Gh4a2cCuW_r0_aem_AW8H9xA-ft9BpDvGEB66PhszIZpJXtfHZTONQxWmYxae__fbSjszMtPrT5OO6dUw5WAphR-d_2bqb6h_xWAIiUOj#lvzpz2c4vd2w6stu7es

[crash_davis 23,115]

https://www.floridatoday.com/story/news/local/2024/08/05/flat-earth-conspiracy-theorist-sues-brevard-county-government-over-free-speech-after-removal-from-me/74646531007/

A man who believes the astronauts killed in the Space Shuttle Challenger tragedy in 1986 are alive and well, is suing Brevard County government over free speech issues after being removed from a county meeting earlier this year. The suit filed last week contends that the Board of County Commissioners violated Justin Harvey's right to speak at a public meeting after a contentious meeting on May 21 saw Harvey escorted from the county government chambers by deputies.

The lawsuit claims that Harvey faced "viewpoint discrimination" for his removal from the meeting and violated its own policy around "respecting minority opinions" during public meetings because the commission disagreed with his opinion that the Challenger astronauts are still alive. The lawsuit asks for nominal damages under Florida statute to cover his attorney's fees and an order declaring the Commission's actions unlawful.

[crash_davis 23,115]

This is actually quite sad. I bet this crazy bitch and her family believes Pizzagate and all that QAnon bullshit. Russian propaganda is making stupid people dangerous. Fuck this cult of utter dipshits. These assholes are voting. Well, not these specific assholes; thank gawd they are dead.

 

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/florida-mom-claimed-neighbors-pedophiles-tried-killed-authorities-say-rcna165480

A Florida mother whose family is accused of ambushing law enforcement officers, killing one and injuring two, had sought to lure neighbors who she believed were pedophiles into a fatal trap at her home but was interrupted by authorities, law enforcement officials said Monday.

A search of the family’s home in Eustis, northwest of Orlando, revealed more than 20 high-caliber rifles, shotguns and pistols that had been staged around the living room, Lake County Sheriff Peyton Grinnell said at a news conference.

Authorities also found a stockpile of ammunition, body armor, gas masks, ready-to-eat meals, ghillie (camouflage) suits, anti-government propaganda and media promoting conspiracy theories, Grinnell said.

"This was nothing short of an ambush. The evidence will show that," Bill Gladson, state attorney for Florida's Fifth Judicial Circuit, told reporters.

Her husband, Michael Sulpizio, was found dead in the family’s home Friday after, Grinnell said, he fatally shot Lake County Master Deputy Bradley Link, 28, and critically injured a second officer, Deputy First Class Stefano Gargano.

A third officer, Master Deputy Sheriff Harold Howell, was also wounded. 

Michael Sulpizio and the couple’s two adult daughters were all found dead on the family’s couch, Grinnell said. The body camera on Link, the fatally injured deputy, who was inside the family’s home when he was shot multiple times, appeared to have captured the Sulpizios taking their own lives, Grinnell added.

The sheriff's office first responded to the scene at 7:45 p.m. Friday, when authorities were told that a woman — later identified as Julie Sulpizio — was assaulting her neighbors, whom she accused of "being sinners," and saying, 'I know what you did,'" Grinnell said.

After an officer arrived, Julie Sulpizio identified herself as "Helen under God's will" and said her neighbors were involved in pedophilia, Grinnell said. One of the neighbors told the officer that Julie Sulpizio had tried to get them to walk to her house, Grinnell said, but that they didn't trust her.

In a later interview with investigators, Sulpizio said she was trying to lure them to her home so her husband could kill them, Grinnell said.

"She was not successful because of our deputies," he said.

A detective investigating the case said at the news conference that investigators found bumper stickers, fliers and handouts promoting anti-government propaganda and conspiracy theories at the home. The detective did not say whether the material is linked to the incident.

In her interview with investigators, the detective said, Sulpizio said that she could “visualize souls” and that it was her job to bring her husband “dark souls.”

After Sulpizio was handcuffed, Grinnell said, deputies tried to conduct a welfare check at her family's nearby home. Officers found two dead dogs in the front yard and a window screen that had been kicked out, he said.

Inside, they saw three people running and believed a burglary or a home invasion may have been in progress, he said.

After roughly an hour, Grinnell said, the deputies announced themselves and failed to reach anyone side. They entered the home through a laundry room, Grinnell said, and Link's body camera captured a man who appeared to be wearing body armor positioned with a rifle on a couch.

The gunman, believed to be Michael Sulpizio, fired several rounds, striking Link in the back, Grinnell said. Howell was hit in the wrist, Grinnell said, and he and other deputies retreated.

When officers tried to negotiate with the Sulpizios for the release of Link's body, Grinnell said, a woman in the home was captured on the deputy's body camera racking her gun and yelling, "My king will kill all of you."

Around 9:30 p.m., a tactical unit entered through the laundry room and was met with a volley of gunfire, Grinnell said. Deputy First Class Stefano Gargano, who had a ballistics shield, was struck with multiple high-caliber rounds through a wall, incapacitating him, Grinnell said.

As other deputies tried to remove him, they were being "actively engaged by suspects," Grinnell added, calling the officers "heroes."

At 11:02 p.m., Grinnell said, two gunshots were heard in quick succession. A third one was heard moments later.

Inside, authorities found the bodies of Michael Sulpizio and the two daughters, Savannah Sulpizio, 23, and Cheyenne Sulpizio, 22, Grinnell said.

Gargano is stable and Howell is expected to make a full recovery. Link was airlifted to a hospital and pronounced dead, Grinnell said.

The sheriff’s office said Link had worked for the department since 2019 and "quickly became part of our family and faithfully served our citizens with courage and zeal." 

 

[crash_davis 23,115]

https://slatereport.com/news/florida-man-who-killed-neighbor-over-dog-poop-erupts-at-widow-in-courtroom-outburst-he-cried-like-a-baby/

Florida man who killed neighbor over dog poop erupts at widow in courtroom outburst: ‘He cried like a baby’

A Florida man cruelly yelled that his neighbor “cried like a baby” in front of the man’s widow, explaining during a wild, caught-on-camera courtroom outburst why he killed him.

Omar Rodriguez was sentenced to life in prison Thursday after he was convicted of second-degree murder and aggravated assault for the June 2015 shooting of Jose Rey.

As Rey’s widow, Lissette, read a statement at the hearing, Rodriguez rose from his chair and began shouting, causing several people in the courtroom to gasp.

“The coward was your husband,” Rodriguez yelled out, according to a video obtained by NBC Miami. “That’s why I killed him … he cried like a baby.”

 

The jury in Rodriguez’s case had removed the possibility of capital punishment, leaving Hirsch the only option for a life prison sentence, with a minimum of 25 years, meaning the 75-year-old will remain behind bars for the rest of his life.

 

Jose Rey, 52, was walking in his Kendall neighborhood when his dog popped a squat on the lawn of Rodriguez’s son.

Neighbors told police they heard two men loudly arguing before Rey threatened to return and fight him.

Rey had dropped off his dog at home and continued the walk with his wife when they were confronted by a shirtless Rodriguez, the outlet reported.

Jose Rey was shot three times and Rodriguez threatened Lissette, who went to comfort her husband.

Rey succumbed to his injuries over a week later.

Several law enforcement officers pulled Rodriguez out of the courtroom and placed him in a holding cell amid the chaotic exchange.NBC6
Rodriguez had asked for immunity in the case under Florida’s so-called “Stand Your Ground” law, but in 2021 a judge ruled he didn’t believe Rodriguez acted in self-defense, according to WTVJ.

The convicted killer alleged Rey threatened him with a knife, but prosecutors argued Rodriguez had attempted to plant the knife in his victim’s hand.

Rodriguez has been accused of treating his neighbors poorly, with one writing to then-Gov. Lawton Chiles that the man had declared “war” on neighbors and once threatened a lawn worker with a machete.

[crash_davis 23,115]

His first problem is that he's still on facebook. 

 

https://slatereport.com/news/florida-woman-25-ends-date-by-stealing-mans-car-slitting-his-throat-and-tossing-him-off-a-bridge-say-cops/

A Florida woman is facing multiple charges after she allegedly slit her date’s throat and then tossed him off a bridge.

Natalie Fonseca, 25, is charged with attempted murder, carjacking, kidnapping, and robbery with a firearm after she and a male accomplice allegedly stole a man’s car, shoes and cash before leaving him for dead.

She and her alleged accomplice, 31-year-old Nafis Reynolds, have yet to enter a plea.

An arrest warrant obtained by Inside Edition Digital says that the victim approached an officer outside a convenience store shortly after 8 a.m. on Oct. 8.

The victim “was covered in dry blood, his face was bruised and swollen, he could hardly stand and he was barefoot,” according to the warrant.

He also had “deep lacerations on the front and sides of his neck,” and told the officer “his friends attacked him …stuck a knife in [his] neck … beat him … stole [his] car, and threw him off a bridge,” says the warrant.

The victim was then rushed to the hospital for surgery, but later that day provided officers with more information.

The man claimed that he met a woman on Facebook and “offered to take her to dinner or take her to buy some food” when she mentioned having money troubles, according to the warrant.

On their first outing together, the man told police that he took the victim to a taco truck and then dropped her off back at home.

The following day, the victim “started receiving messages from the female again about wanting to see him,” says the warrant.

He told her he would meet up with her after cashing his paycheck, and after arriving was told by the female that she needed to pick up her cat, according to the warrant. The female then drove victim’s car to get said cat and returned to her home.

The warrant says that the female went inside and then returned to the car with a male, who showed the victim that he had a pistol before the three drove to a barbecue, which the female said was at her uncle’s house.

Once again, the female drove the victim’s car, both to the barbecue and later to a liquor store where the victim purchased wine and beer for her, says the warrant.

The victim says that when he was ready to go the three got into the car and the male began “punching him,” while the female said “They were going to take him to a place and take everything from him, kill him, and throw him in the water,” says the warrant.

The pair allegedly did just that, with the victim telling police that the female “cut him on his neck while the male was hitting him and then the male cut his neck with the knife, telling him he was going to die,” according to the warrant.

The pair then took his cellphone, shoes, and $350 cash before throwing him off the bridge, says the warrant.

The victim somehow managed to swim to a bank, where he lost consciousness and was awoken the following morning by a woman on a boat who ferried him back the roadway, says the warrant.

He then managed to flag down a motorist who drove him for a little while before pulling over and informing him he had to get out of the car, at which time the victim walked 10 minutes down the road and encountered a police office, according to the warrant.

The victim did not know the woman’s name or her exact address but did describe the home and police later found surveillance footage of the victim and Fonseca at a local convenience store as well as video of Fonseca entering a store while the victim and Reynolds sat in his car outside.

After three days in the hospital the victim was discharged and took police to the scene of the crime and identified the home where Fonseca and Reynolds live as being the home of the man and woman who tried to kill him, according to the warrant.

Fonseca and Reynolds are scheduled to be arraigned on Nov. 17.

 

She looks batshit crazy.

[Parliament 14,315]

Quote

She looks batshit crazy.

Come on.  You would.  As would I.

[crash_davis 23,115]

4 minutes ago, Parliament said:

Come on.  You would.  As would I.

She a trashy skank. There are hundreds of that trash every Fri and Sat night prancing around on 6th street. I'd rather fuck a trash can. It's the same thing.

[ScottS 1,075]

Maybe a little less serious than most of the previous posts in this thread but I'll put it here anyway.

DUI suspect improperly parked in turn lane found with Corona beer

Quote

A drunk driving suspect improperly parked in a turn lane was arrested with Corona beer in his vehicle.

An officer spotted the vehicle at about 10 p.m. Tuesday parked in the turn lane on U.S. Hwy. 27/441 at Longview Avenue, according to an arrest report from the Lady Lake Police Department.

The driver, later identified as 41-year-old Fermin Tlapechco of Apopka, was sleeping. When he was roused, the officer realized there was a language barrier and called in a Spanish-speaking officer from the Fruitland Park Police Department.

It appeared Tlapechco had been drinking and there were four bottles of Corona beer on the passenger side within easy reach. He was not wearing shoes, with one foot in a sock and the other barefoot. Tlapechco said he’d consumed 25 beers since 5 p.m. that day.

The native of Mexico struggled through field sobriety exercises. He refused to provide a breath sample. He was arrested on a charge of driving under the influence. He was booked at the Lake County Jail on $2,000 bond.

Five beers an hour for five straight hours?  Impressive but probably the norm for the average Surly poster on a Saturday during football season.  If they were all Coronas then I'm surprised they didn't find him in a puddle of his piss.

[Bevo&Pevo 5,220]

Meanwhile in other news from Florida...

Woman arrested for shooting husband while vacationing at beach, authorities say (kgns.tv)