Requesting all ranchers. Will cows beat me up?

[BBQ2Bayou 807]

So I've been walking on the Mississippi levee here in Baton Rouge and I guess it's city maintained, but privately owned? Not really sure, but I know it's kind of a heated topic with some private owners and people that use the path for walking/biking. I don't really give a fuck, I'm not hunting or fishing or messing with their stuff anyway. But there's a section with a bunch of cattle out there between the river and the road. That particular area has a cattle grate on the levee path and a fence between the road and river, keeping the cows in there. The city has a sign there that says no motorized vehicles, which they have all over the levee. Easy enough, and then the land owner has a couple signs that say private property on each side of the path. 

Anyway, like I said, fuck the property owner because I'm not messing with their shit or land and a lot of people use the levee like any other hike and bike trail and it's put out there as an attraction by the city, for an otherwise horrible fucking city. But I digress on that. My question is, because I haven't seen anybody else on that part of the levee yet and I've never been around a big, brooding cow; are they gonna get territorial and trample me to death? Or are they just the dumb, happy and harmless creatures that they appear to be? 

 

[Victorious1 164]

[Errestaurants 2570]

Yes they are going to fuck u up along with that cattle grate.

[RDCanecutter 26473]

This reads like Catcher in the Rye, except with more cows.

[Llano Estacado 1257]

Hate the owner! Don’t ban the breed!

[InkaUtexas 26108]

they will beat you up quicker than they beat you off. Ask the bulldog. 

 

[UTPhil2006 3812]

Just bring em cattle food and they'll be your best friend

[woohorn 1131]

We used to get chased by cows all the time at the Addicks dam growing up and it scared the shit outta us.

Of course we were in elementary school. Man up. Cows never killed no one.

[EE2B 1565]

I thought this was a Chad Briscoe thread. I’m more disappointed it’s real.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

[HouTex 1894]

Make sure there's not a bull around.  They can get surly.  Cows are not a problem, but they may think you are there to feed them so sometimes they will follow you or approach you.

[Parliament 14296]

A bull will fuck you up. A cow, with a young calf, will fuck you up.

[spystud13 2371]

 

Spoiler

The escaped cow was on the lam(b) for about 24 hours, evading police and causing a bit of a panic all over town. And it did not well -- the brazen bovine was hit by a car and killed.

 

[NotActuallyALonghorn 4977]

Most cows are pretty cool. But you've still got to keep an eye on them because they can stomp you into a mudhole if they want.  

[HornOnTheBayou 8946]

[Fuck Tim Beck 3834]

You need the cow whisperer. Paging Vic Mackey. 

[UTPhil2006 3812]

16 hours ago, Parliament said:

A bull will fuck you up. A cow, with a young calf, will fuck you up.

Pretty much this.  And like the above guy said keep an eye on them.  But most are there just to see if you have food.

[Bevo 13601]

At our ranch they would certainly chase the dogs and we had one or two that would chase the motorcycles. Typically, they don't bother you when you are walking unless their calves are present.

[RPM 26354]

Just carry a bottle of A-1 with you. They get too close just pull it out and show it to them. They'll get the message.

[fattyflattie 4638]

How much ear are we talking?  Always watch the one who keeps her head the highest. 

[NotActuallyALonghorn 4977]

Pretty sure asking him how much ear is about like asking my 2.5 year old how to solve differential equations.

[tucker 238]

 

[fattyflattie 4638]

5 hours ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

Pretty sure asking him how much ear is about like asking fattyflattie how to solve differential equations.

Fify 

[spystud13 2371]

tucker, you don’t read much, do you? 

[Deej 76920]

On 4/25/2019 at 4:52 PM, RPM said:

Just carry a bottle of A-1 with you. They get too close just pull it out and show it to them. They'll get the message.

The message being "I'm going to fuck up your glorious tasting flesh with some A-1."

[Quagmire 2147]

They are usually friendly up until the point you try and fuck them

[Errestaurants 2570]

9 minutes ago, Quagmire said:

They are usually friendly up until the point you try and fuck them

Aggie?

[RPM 26354]

43 minutes ago, Quagmire said:

They are usually friendly up until the point you try and fuck them

Username checks out.

[Kennythetiger 9460]

On 4/24/2019 at 3:19 PM, HouTex said:

Make sure there's not a bull around.  They can get surly.  Cows are not a problem, but they may think you are there to feed them so sometimes they will follow you or approach you.

I have a decent amount of cattle.  I wouldn't trust strange bulls, but I would trust strange cows even less.  I have always had more trouble with cows than bulls, and almost all of mine of either sex are very, very tame.  

Like someone else said, watch the one that looks at you with her head up and ears pointed forward.  She ain't watchin' you because she loves you, Woodrow.