Found an Old Pack of Cigarettes, Should I Smoke Them?

[RDCanecutter 26878]

Mrs. Canecutter spotted cigarettes up near the ceiling of our garage, that must have been left there when workmen rebuilt the wall about 4 years ago. There was also a small lighter, and it works.

So it seems like a waste to just throw them away. It is a Marlboro Gold Pack. There are 4 perfectly good cigarettes still inside it, sure, turning kind of brown, but otherwise look just fine.

So I turn to the Wisdom of the Surl.

Should I smoke them? (I don't smoke)

Save the tobacco to apply to bee stings? (bees don't sting me)

Sell to schoolchildren? (not sure kids carry cash nowadays)

Trade to Billy Yank for coffee? (coffee is one block away at grocery store)

Should I go inside No Smoking zones with an unlit one in my hands, like, next to a gas pump, and act like I'm about to light it, but don't?

Your thoughts, please.

[Gil Bang 26231]

you need an Audrey Hepburn-style cigarette holder for those vintage smokes

Edited April 27, 2019 by Gil Bang

[RDCanecutter 26878]

Just now, Gil Bang said:

you need an Audrey Hepburn-style cigarette holder for those vintage smokes

Sounds good, but do you think it might turn me back, uh... theatrical again?

[deadshank 24654]

Save them for when you board a defecting Russian submarine.  Apparently their cigarettes suck  

[ShaggyBevo RIP 3873]

Avatar does not checkout.

[BottleRocket 659]

Smoke’em ifya got’em .

[RDCanecutter 26878]

17 hours ago, ShaggyBevo RIP said:

Avatar does not checkout.

I'm not saying I've never been an armadillo.

[tucker 238]

[RDCanecutter 26878]

32 minutes ago, tucker said:

I only found 4 cigarettes in there, are you saying there are 4 more? I guess I'll go look.

Oh no-- 4 is the Japanese symbol for death.

[RPM 26621]

 

[Llano Estacado 1257]

Not frequent you come to post Tex Williams and someone beats you to it.

[RPM 26621]

I like Phil Harris' version better, but went with the original.

[NeverMarryAStripper 22287]

More than likely the workers peed on them and then left them for you to find. So sure, go ahead and smoke them.

[Francisco 2.0 32586]

1 hour ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

More than likely the workers peed on them and then left them for you to find. So sure, go ahead and smoke them.

Speaking of pee.

My grandfather was a miner.  He would venture down into the ground each day and whilst he was working, he would chew plug tobacco.  There was a coworker that constantly bummed a chew from him, and my grandfather would oblige.

One day, however, my grandfather had enough.  As the fellow miner came around, my grandfather said sure, then pulled the plug out of his overalls.  He then said hold up, turned around and took a piss on what was left of his plug.  He then handed it over to the coworker and exclaimed "that's how I keep it moist".

Coworker never ever bummed a chew from him again.

 

 

[RDCanecutter 26878]

13 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

More than likely the workers peed on them and then left them for you to find. So sure, go ahead and smoke them.

I don't think so-- everyday I'd pay those guys good money to pee on ME, so I doubt they wasted it on cigarettes.

[RDCanecutter 26878]

12 hours ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

Speaking of pee.

My grandfather was a miner.  He would venture down into the ground each day and whilst he was working, he would chew plug tobacco.  There was a coworker that constantly bummed a chew from him, and my grandfather would oblige.

One day, however, my grandfather had enough.  As the fellow miner came around, my grandfather said sure, then pulled the plug out of his overalls.  He then said hold up, turned around and took a piss on what was left of his plug.  He then handed it over to the coworker and exclaimed "that's how I keep it moist".

Coworker never ever bummed a chew from him again.

 

 

Bigdaddy Canecutter back in the 1920s was sitting in a train station, waiting to go to some factory job in Birmingham that probably resembled a pit of Hell.

Rich Man comes up and asks for a chaw of tobacco. Bigdaddy gives him one. They get to talking, and Rich Man is looking for somebody to supervise a building project at a college in Montgomery. "Well hell I can do that" says Bigdaddy, and I guess he could, because that building is still standing and so are the others they built there until he died 40 years later, steadily employed at what might as well have been his own private fief.

[Fudge Nuggets 19453]

You should walk around with one of them stuck behind your ear at all times.

[RDCanecutter 26878]

4 hours ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

You should walk around with one of them stuck behind your ear at all times.

Best idea so far. Plus, I could roll the pack up in the sleeve of my tshirt.

Edited May 2, 2019 by RDCanecutter

[Fudge Nuggets 19453]

11 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

Best idea so far. Plus, I could roll the pack up in the sleeve of my tshirt.

I’m not sure you’re cool enough to pull that off yet.  Baby steps.

[RDCanecutter 26878]

Just now, Fudge Nuggets said:

I’m not sure you’re cool enough to pull that off yet.  Baby steps.

I will try as hard as it takes to be cool. I will come up with a system.

[ztejas 44224]

4 year old Malboro Golds are going to taste like unfiltered ass if you smoke one. I mean if you are desperate for a nicotine high or having withdrawals go for it - other than that just trash them. 

[RDCanecutter 26878]

That's the way I used to think. But these 4 old cigarettes are commodities, I can use them to get an edge on life.

The question is how.

[ztejas 44224]

1 minute ago, RDCanecutter said:

That's the way I used to think. But these 4 old cigarettes are commodities, I can use them to get an edge on life.

The question is how.

Here this might help:

 

[Foggy Notion 1202]

Four year old cigarettes?

How about 35 year old cigarettes? They're still sealed. Should be good, right?

My GF was born and raised in New Orleans. She went back to attend her nephew's graduation from LSU this weekend. Her mom found these while going through some old stuff. These were given out for free at the 1984 World's Fair.