Jump to content

Getting old sucks

Hate

By Hate
in Lulz

 Share

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 4.1k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

Armybrat
Armybrat

Am going to have to limit my participation on Surly, as it appears the macular degeneration is advancing to a level where I find it very difficult to read anything even with my 3x readers and a magnif

Armybrat
Armybrat

Pics of mom?

bmbmd
bmbmd

Here's the worst though.  I'm sixty six, still working, still running ten (or twelve) minute miles as long as I want.  Good health, good shape. Happily married for forty-three years to the nicest, cut

Posted Images

SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8800

Posted
Posted
9 hours ago, Nivek said:

The surgery is pretty invasive and requires patience to make sure you are fully healed before engaging in any activity with the nether regions, including rubbing one out.  You should probably refrain from sexual activity for 4-6 months, the end of which time most patients are recovered.   There have been a few instances where the recovery took longer.  In the meantime, send your wife over to my place and I can service her for you while you are unable to fulfill your duties.  

Yeah, don't push it. Very, very regrettable.

Or at least a friend told me that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
RDCanecutter

RDCanecutter 26377

Posted
Posted

Sorry you had to get hernia surgery.

On the other hand, I am glad you were able to get surgery, instead of sitting in some jungle hut with your guts slipping out, getting pinched, and going gangrenous.

My dog had to get this done, and she was right as rain soon after. Once you get used to the cone, you'll be fine.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
RDCanecutter

RDCanecutter 26377

Posted
Posted
20 minutes ago, Hate said:

I’m getting discharged shortly. I actually don’t feel to bed right now. There is still pain when I get up or sit/lay down, but other than that I’m ok.

Wait til the opioid dreams start. Whatever you last binge-watched on Netflix, you will now get to see on the ceiling of your bedroom, in brighter colors.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Nueces River Rat

Nueces River Rat 5537

Posted
Posted
57 minutes ago, Hate said:

Question for those who have had this, how in the hell did you get out of bed without extreme pain?

Suck it up.   That's about all you can do.   

Make sure you take the pain killers and then get out of bed.  But yea you want to try to make yourself get up and about.  

 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guadaloopy

Guadaloopy 10954

Posted
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Hate said:

Question for those who have had this, how in the hell did you get out of bed without extreme pain?

Rolled onto my side using arms as much as possible. Then pivot on hips until legs can reach the floor.  

I do not envy that first dook you will have to take. The combo of ab trauma and opiate constipation is bad.  Don’t be proud. Use some laxatives.  

Edited by Guadaloopy
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
bamachine

bamachine 1230

Posted
Posted

It would seem like, with this kind of thing, they would clean out your bowels and put you on a liquid diet, including the pain meds, until it has a chance to heal some.

Just now seeing this thread. Be careful while jerkin the gerkin, for a few days, at least.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guadaloopy

Guadaloopy 10954

Posted
Posted
36 minutes ago, bamachine said:

It would seem like, with this kind of thing, they would clean out your bowels and put you on a liquid diet, including the pain meds, until it has a chance to heal some.

Yep... but eventually that first real test will come.  Even after a few days of healing, it was pretty rough for me.  YMMV. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Hate

Hate 20106

Posted
  • Author
Posted

They had me on a liquid diet at the hospital and I think I’m going to continue it for a few days. I can’t imagine having to take a dump right now. For the most part, I’m fine. I have a dull ache in the ballsack and that’s about it. But when I have to use my lower body to get out of bed it hurts like a mother fucker. It makes me feel like it’s tearing again. I know it’s not and the doctor assured me I would be fine as long as I don’t lift anything heave for a while.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
ztejas

ztejas 43411

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, Hate said:

They prescribed Tylenol with codeine. All it does it makes me sleepy.

And I’m home now with an ice pack. Thanks all for keeping me company during this.

You can always get the tylenol out and take straight codeine. 

Not that I've... ever done that or anything. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Braff Zacklin

Braff Zacklin 13551

Posted
Posted

Damn, Hate. Rotten break. Got nothing clever to say, so I'll just add get well soon and take 'er easy.

Maybe channel your inner "Dude" cuz he was quite possibly the laziest man in Los Angeles County, which would place him high in the runnin' for laziest worldwide.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Hate

Hate 20106

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Yeah,  I haven't had any whiskey in 2 nights now.  I'm actually feeling ok today.  I couldn't sleep in the bed though.  It's too painful getting in and out of it, so I made a "bed" with the couch and a chair and watched Texas-ou games on the Longhorn channel all night while drifting in and out of sleep.  I'm still dreading the inevitable deuce I'll have to drop today.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Nueces River Rat

Nueces River Rat 5537

Posted
Posted
29 minutes ago, Hate said:

Yeah,  I haven't had any whiskey in 2 nights now.  I'm actually feeling ok today.  I couldn't sleep in the bed though.  It's too painful getting in and out of it, so I made a "bed" with the couch and a chair and watched Texas-ou games on the Longhorn channel all night while drifting in and out of sleep.  I'm still dreading the inevitable deuce I'll have to drop today.  

I was going to say that might be your next best option.

My wife just had surgery a few weeks ago in her abdominal area and what helped her was modifying her sleeping position to what she had in the hospital with pillows. This is when something like one of those Select Comfort beds come in handy.  The other thing is our bed is relatively low to floor compared to our old bed when I had my surgery.   It was task getting up for sure when I was recovering from hernia surgery.  

 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Sbbruin

Sbbruin 21825

Posted
Posted
7 hours ago, Hate said:

They had me on a liquid diet at the hospital and I think I’m going to continue it for a few days. I can’t imagine having to take a dump right now. For the most part, I’m fine. I have a dull ache in the ballsack and that’s about it. But when I have to use my lower body to get out of bed it hurts like a mother fucker. It makes me feel like it’s tearing again. I know it’s not and the doctor assured me I would be fine as long as I don’t lift anything heave for a while.

You might want to hold off on jerking it for a few days as well, if that is at all possible.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Beau Vine

Beau Vine 54203

Posted
Posted
23 hours ago, Wyatt Mann said:

I woke up with gout the day of my daughter's birthday party. Medical maladies always have perfect timing! 

Shit, I had a fucking stroke the day my daughter brought her BF home to Texas for the first time.  I'm sure the guy has gotten unmerciful crap about that back at school.  

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
SwanderedTalent

SwanderedTalent 5761

Posted
Posted
On 4/29/2019 at 5:29 PM, Fuck Tim Beck said:

Hopefully you have a hot nurse for the sponge baths. 

it doesn't matter what he looks like, it matters the level of care he can give as his strong, masculine hands rub a warm, soapy sponge up and down the OP's body, including those hard to reach and oh so private places

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Nueces River Rat

Nueces River Rat 5537

Posted
Posted
36 minutes ago, Sbbruin said:

You might want to hold off on jerking it for a few days as well, if that is at all possible.

At least he didn't  get circumcised.   

I can't imagine the heck adult men have to go through who have to get this done as medically necessary or voluntary procedure.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites
bamachine

bamachine 1230

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Nueces River Rat said:

At least he didn't  get circumcised.   

I can't imagine the heck adult men have to go through who have to get this done as medically necessary or voluntary procedure.  

That was my introduction to this lot of assholes, back on the site that will no longer be mentioned. They had a MSPaint thread of Sexual Embarrassment(or something like that title). I told the story of my circumcision, at the age of 19(GF at the time passed along a thrush infection), in MSPaint form(quite badly, in stick figures). It was my first thread to ever post with these assholes, back in Feb of 2010. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Rimbo

Rimbo 25908

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, Patricio Swayze said:

Tylenol 3? Meh, you can keep them.

I see a lot of good suggestions for your recover but no one has mentioned you should hold of on the butt sex for awhile too.

thanks, arthur

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Rimbo

Rimbo 25908

Posted
Posted
7 minutes ago, bamachine said:

That was my introduction to this lot of assholes, back on the site that will no longer be mentioned. They had a MSPaint thread of Sexual Embarrassment(or something like that title). I told the story of my circumcision, at the age of 19(GF at the time passed along a thrush infection), in MSPaint form(quite badly, in stick figures). It was my first thread to ever post with these assholes, back in Feb of 2010. 

Speaking of "getting old"... I've been around since the Austin360 days in the 1990s. I know there's a few of us assholes who've been around that long.

...Geez, I really need to get a life.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
bamachine

bamachine 1230

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, Rimbo said:

Speaking of "getting old"... I've been around since the Austin360 days in the 1990s. I know there's a few of us assholes who've been around that long.

...Geez, I really need to get a life.

I started out my CFB message board days on the old CNN/SI boards(in the mid 90's), moved from there to Worldcrossing(around Y2K), then to Tidesports(first time with only Bama fans), then found the site that it's nickname was a type of carpet in 2010. Was talked into starting my own Bama site by the purveyor of that place, I should totally sue that guy for talking me into that hell(j/k BL). Now it is here and r/cfb. I should also get a life.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Rimbo

Rimbo 25908

Posted
Posted
3 minutes ago, bamachine said:

I started out my CFB message board days on the old CNN/SI boards(in the mid 90's), moved from there to Worldcrossing(around Y2K), then to Tidesports(first time with only Bama fans), then found the site that it's nickname was a type of carpet in 2010. Was talked into starting my own Bama site by the purveyor of that place, I should totally sue that guy for talking me into that hell(j/k BL). Now it is here and r/cfb. I should also get a life.

Yeah, being both here and r/cfb might be a sign we have a problem. I was on Austin360 only briefly before hornfans started up, then joined that, then ragequit it in like 2004 or so, then did Orangebloods for a while (back when it was actually worth reading), then shag, now here.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Nueces River Rat

Nueces River Rat 5537

Posted
Posted
38 minutes ago, bamachine said:

That was my introduction to this lot of assholes, back on the site that will no longer be mentioned. They had a MSPaint thread of Sexual Embarrassment(or something like that title). I told the story of my circumcision, at the age of 19(GF at the time passed along a thrush infection), in MSPaint form(quite badly, in stick figures). It was my first thread to ever post with these assholes, back in Feb of 2010. 

Dang man...   Ouch.   This is one issue I wouldn't be an ass about.  It's kind of the I'd hate to be in your shoes type of thing.  Kind of like losing a nut or something like that.   

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Armybrat

Armybrat 40814

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, Rimbo said:

Speaking of "getting old"... I've been around since the Austin360 days in the 1990s. I know there's a few of us assholes who've been around that long.

...Geez, I really need to get a life.

I started there in ‘99 too, but hope this place is my last stop.

OP, it certainly does suck getting old. Minor ailments nowadays sometimes tend to wear me down to the point where idgaf about anything. Case in point, I’ve had a bad sore throat, sinus infection, and ear infection since Sunday. Self medicating didn’t help any, so today I went to the walk-in clinic at my regular doctor’s office (He was unavailable until May 16th). His PA checked me out and prescribed antibiotics,, steroids, and a nebulizer machine (gave me one treatment in the office).

After just getting out for an hour & a half, I’m back home feeling worse. At. Least no pneumonia though. Wife is at CVS picking up the meds & machine right now. Hope all that stuff starts working this evening, because 3 hours sleep each night just ain’t cutting it, besides feeling weak as a kitten.

sorry about the typos, but I can hardly read or type shit because of the cataracts & watery eyes. Mrs. Brat even had to drive me there. And that’s just for a minor problem that may not bother you young guys much at all.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Knoxtnhorn

Knoxtnhorn 5971

Posted
Posted

It does suck.  Other than my dick, nothing below my waste works very well anymore. 

Both my knees are reconstructed, flat feet, knock-kneed, and some sort of physiological thing where my hamstrings are super tight, but my hips are super loose.  So something's always sore or getting pulled or I'm limping.  Fun new thing is the lower back issues.

I remember - literally - running for miles all over my grandfather's farm just for fun.  Lulz at anything remotely close to this today.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
NateHitch

NateHitch 1282

Posted
Posted
On 4/29/2019 at 5:03 PM, Hate said:

 

This weekend I noticed that I had some pain in my pubic area. I didn’t think much of it and figured it would go away after a night of drinking. Well, I woke up this morning and it was more painful and had begun to swell. I go to my GP who says I have a hernia and recommends I go to a surgeon right away. I go see the surgeon and she says you have a hernia and we have to operate on it tonight. So now I’m checking into the hospital and I’m about to get a CT scan so they can see if any guts have fallen through the hernia so they will know whether or not they have to cut out some of my guts. This sucks.

 

Haven't perused the whole thread yet so this might have been covered but when you're recovering from the surgery don't cough or sneeze and hold off on shitting for as long as possible.  I sneezed the day after and would have preferred death over that.  I avoided the pain meds too cause they can stuff you up and trust me, you don't want to be forcing a turd out the following week.  And outside of that, as much as it sucks, get up and move around every hour.  It'll suck ass but you'll be glad you did in the end.  Good luck.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Hate

Hate 20106

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I’m on day 5 and I’m on the mend. It’s probably the best I’ve felt since the surgery. I’ve taken a couple of painless dumps today, which is nice. I’ve stopped taking the painkillers and last night I had some whiskey for the first time since Sunday night. I’m moving around pretty well, but I get sore after a while and have to put some ice on it. I’m still sleeping upright on the couch. I’m a side sleeper and I can’t roll on my side because my balls are still too swollen. They’re getting better daily, but it may be another night or two before I can return to the bed. Other than that, it’s going fairly well.

 

 

  • Like 7
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business and Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Subscribe!... Donate!... Advertise... COOKIE MONSTER!

×
×
  • Create New...