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6 hours ago, SurlyGator said:

Dude, get the ablation scheduled already!

I have SVT and was on medication for a few years to control it. Over time the meds became less effective so I finally gave into having an ablation done. I was a bit apprehensive but am glad that I finally had it done. It has been almost two years since I had the procedure and have not had any issues.

I was semi alert during the procedure as I could feel them artificially changing my heart rate. During the procedure I developed a horrible itch and kept trying to scratch it. They told me to stop but the irritation was too great so they ended up restraining my hands.

Post procedure you have to lay on your back for about 4 to 6 hours. After that you are pretty much back to normal. After about 3 weeks I was back to playing full court basketball.

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I was in and out of the airport several times in December, at some point, hoisting my backpack onto my shoulder, I wrenched my left shoulder and it's killing me for the last month.  Last weekend, while drying my feet after getting out of the shower, something in my left hip let go, and now that's killing me.  My right knee will eventually get replaced but for now it's killing me.  My left knee that did get replaced feels great.  Getting old sucks, what should I do differently?

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10 minutes ago, SurlyGator said:

He may well be tuning over in his grave (were he already buried) at all the Hook 'Ems that post received, but I contributed one as well.  Well written.

At least two but I think all three daughters went to UT. His son in law - from a vintage Texas family - also went to UT, so he quickly became a 2%er later in life. A gentle guy who wanted peace and serenity over rivalry squabbles. 

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23 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Sigh.  Have reached that point with the old man.  Right before we left for Germany a couple of weeks ago, he had a slight fender-bender.  But his story about it, and how it happened, was confusing.  Then, one of my wife's friends (who lives down the street from my dad) called her to share with her that she had concerns about his driving - he'd seem confused in their small sub-area, had gone out an entrance drive, etc.  So, I was going to have to have a tough call with my old man when I got back.

Well, I was back in town and up and running yesterday (even though I feel like shit - brought back a respiratory infection with me).  Got in touch with my dad....and he took the lead.  Said he had more to tell me about the accident.  Turns out, it was his fault, he tried to change lanes without looking adequately (which happens), but he voiced that in just the last month or so, he feels like his vision and reflexes have declined....so he probably shouldn't drive.  So he'll need my help to get the car into the shop for repairs, and then to figure out what to do with it.  And then, "I guess I'll need to start taking Uber."  I told him that YES, and that's GOOD AND FINE.  So, tonight, I'm going to make sure his app is set up, and maybe we'll even take a test trip to dinner and back.

But it's hard, of course. He's an independent man, and stubborn like all of us. But god bless him, he's an engineer, and he sees shit pretty matter-of-fact from a safety standpoint.  And when he realized the data said he shouldn't drive anymore, he made the decision himself.  I'm really proud of him for that.

But what killed me was him telling me that he was so sorry for asking for my help, and imposing.  He and my mom always tried to NOT be a burden, to NOT need my help, so he's sorry that's changing.  I told him to stop that -- and that one of the things I've realized is that needing help doesn't mean you're a burden, or you're imposing, or you're a problem.  It means you're part of a family and a community.  I need help sometimes, and it's hard for me to ask for it and accept it because I'm a problem-SOLVER to the core of my being (he's the same way).  But we need to get over that shit.  It's okay to need help, and to ask for it.  It's what we do.

I'm headed over there tonight to see him.  I feel pretty shitty about how little help I've been since my mom died.  This shit is hard.

I'm in a very similar position with my dad. His actual driving seems to be ok (I hope), but he's now gotten mixed up twice now coming to visit me and ended up on the other side of town before he realized something wasn't right. We have Life360 on his phone but sometimes he manages to turn it off (no fucking idea how he does that on accident). He lives out in the sticks in east TX so my biggest concern with his driving is him getting truly lost out there or running out of gas because he wasn't paying attention to it. 

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20 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Sigh.  Have reached that point with the old man.  Right before we left for Germany a couple of weeks ago, he had a slight fender-bender.  But his story about it, and how it happened, was confusing.  Then, one of my wife's friends (who lives down the street from my dad) called her to share with her that she had concerns about his driving - he'd seem confused in their small sub-area, had gone out an entrance drive, etc.  So, I was going to have to have a tough call with my old man when I got back.

Well, I was back in town and up and running yesterday (even though I feel like shit - brought back a respiratory infection with me).  Got in touch with my dad....and he took the lead.  Said he had more to tell me about the accident.  Turns out, it was his fault, he tried to change lanes without looking adequately (which happens), but he voiced that in just the last month or so, he feels like his vision and reflexes have declined....so he probably shouldn't drive.  So he'll need my help to get the car into the shop for repairs, and then to figure out what to do with it.  And then, "I guess I'll need to start taking Uber."  I told him that YES, and that's GOOD AND FINE.  So, tonight, I'm going to make sure his app is set up, and maybe we'll even take a test trip to dinner and back.

But it's hard, of course. He's an independent man, and stubborn like all of us. But god bless him, he's an engineer, and he sees shit pretty matter-of-fact from a safety standpoint.  And when he realized the data said he shouldn't drive anymore, he made the decision himself.  I'm really proud of him for that.

But what killed me was him telling me that he was so sorry for asking for my help, and imposing.  He and my mom always tried to NOT be a burden, to NOT need my help, so he's sorry that's changing.  I told him to stop that -- and that one of the things I've realized is that needing help doesn't mean you're a burden, or you're imposing, or you're a problem.  It means you're part of a family and a community.  I need help sometimes, and it's hard for me to ask for it and accept it because I'm a problem-SOLVER to the core of my being (he's the same way).  But we need to get over that shit.  It's okay to need help, and to ask for it.  It's what we do.

I'm headed over there tonight to see him.  I feel pretty shitty about how little help I've been since my mom died.  This shit is hard.

It’s a hard season, to be sure. We went through it with all 4 parents (Mrs. NNM’s and mine).  My dad was a brilliant, international polymath. Seeing him shrink physically and mentally (he ultimately died of Alzheimer’s complications) was so hard, but also so sweet. Savor the time with him. It will be gone before you know it. 

Do a “pre-mortem” with him. Assume he will be gone in 2 years. List out all the things you would do with him so that you wouldn’t be regretful two years from now. And then do those things. If that means moving him closer to you, great. Having him downsize and move now, when he’s still able to lead and make decisions would be awesome. 

On the driving thing, my brother had the conversation with dad, and he did a great job. He said “Dad, you’re incredibly wise, and you have always made great decisions. But you can’t make fast decisions anymore. And driving is a series of incredibly fast decisions. Do you think you should still be driving?”  Dad saw the light and voluntarily gave it up. 

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Just now, NorthLoop said:

I'm in a very similar position with my dad. His actual driving seems to be ok (I hope), but he's now gotten mixed up twice now coming to visit me and ended up on the other side of town before he realized something wasn't right. We have Life360 on his phone but sometimes he manages to turn it off (no fucking idea how he does that on accident). He lives out in the sticks in east TX so my biggest concern with his driving is him getting truly lost out there or running out of gas because he wasn't paying attention to it. 

Yeah.....I need to get my dad a fall-alert watch/bracelet or something like that.  He is alone there in his house, and if he fell, I might not know for a day.  I need to just have a check-in with him EVERY DAY, and that's going to be something new to add to my routine as well.  And, getting out was important to him - he'd go to the grocery, and just walk the whole place for his steps, maybe pick up a couple of things.  I still want him to do that, even with Uber.  So, going to have to build some new routines.

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1 minute ago, nnm said:

If that means moving him closer to you, great. Having him downsize and move now, when he’s still able to lead and make decisions would be awesome. 

Fortunately, he lives literally five minutes away, in a one-story house.  But...we all know that his time there will end.  There will come a day when it's not safe for him to be there alone.  Not sure when that will be.  But, we probably need to start thinking about options, and getting him on waiting lists.

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1 minute ago, Brisketexan said:

Yeah.....I need to get my dad a fall-alert watch/bracelet or something like that.  He is alone there in his house, and if he fell, I might not know for a day.  I need to just have a check-in with him EVERY DAY, and that's going to be something new to add to my routine as well.  And, getting out was important to him - he'd go to the grocery, and just walk the whole place for his steps, maybe pick up a couple of things.  I still want him to do that, even with Uber.  So, going to have to build some new routines.

Put up an indoor camera or two also. Yes, you might occasionally see him in his boxers, but you’ll also get to see if something’s wrong. 

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8 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Yeah.....I need to get my dad a fall-alert watch/bracelet or something like that.  He is alone there in his house, and if he fell, I might not know for a day.  I need to just have a check-in with him EVERY DAY, and that's going to be something new to add to my routine as well.  And, getting out was important to him - he'd go to the grocery, and just walk the whole place for his steps, maybe pick up a couple of things.  I still want him to do that, even with Uber.  So, going to have to build some new routines.

The wife and I are looking into the alerting watches for ourselves. Just another door I haven't wanted to go through but it seems like it might be helpful. We moved both of our parents to our town when they reached the point that they couldn't drive on their own. The wife is a retired nurse so it fell to her to check on them several times a week. Eventually that became daily and then it became too much for her and we moved them into assisted living. Every one of those changes was met with resistance because they knew that things would never go back to what it was. Now, we find ourselves facing a lot of the same things and it saddens the fuck out of me.

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Wasn't sure where to put this.

Friday I took my grandson to the Cotton Bowl. He's a teenager and full of life, so we get there when it opens at 3:30 for the pre-game hoopla. That means we leave the suburbs at about 2:30p just to make sure we can drive safely in bad conditions, which I was tense driving the entire time.

We get to the stadium and to our seats around 5:30pm and I hadn't eaten since 6:00am, so my eyes are bigger than my stomach and I'm like that Chris Farley character, "Lay off me, I'm starving!". I house a cheesesteak and then get some popcorn and some soda. Note: I didn't drink one sip of alchohol in any varietal at all. 

The game starts and it's a great game until the 2nd and goal play. So we are engaged, yelling, standing, cheering, etc. for the full time excluding the dozens of media timeouts.

We stick around after the game, buy some merch, putz around a bit-- end up at whataburger for a late night taquito-- and we end up at home around 1am. I pass out on the couch next to the fire.

Well let me tell you, the next two days I feel like I was a 25 year old on a bender hitting the night life hard. My voice is raspy and almost gone, my neck hurts, my back hurts, my head aches, my body aches, I'm fatigued, I feel like I had a horrible hangover. Again, not one drink of booze at all.

This goes on all weekend and just this morning I'm feeling myself. 

tl'dr: Longhorn cfp game gave me a 2 day "hangover". If that ain't getting old sucks, I don't know what is!

Edited by Vegas64
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21 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Yeah.....I need to get my dad a fall-alert watch/bracelet or something like that.  He is alone there in his house, and if he fell, I might not know for a day.  I need to just have a check-in with him EVERY DAY, and that's going to be something new to add to my routine as well.  And, getting out was important to him - he'd go to the grocery, and just walk the whole place for his steps, maybe pick up a couple of things.  I still want him to do that, even with Uber.  So, going to have to build some new routines.

 

20 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Fortunately, he lives literally five minutes away, in a one-story house.  But...we all know that his time there will end.  There will come a day when it's not safe for him to be there alone.  Not sure when that will be.  But, we probably need to start thinking about options, and getting him on waiting lists.

Thankfully my dad has been going and doing volunteer work (habitat, food bank stuff, etc) since his wife died a few months ago so that keeps him busy and not wasting away. My sister did put a camera in his living room. He's not bad enough for assisted living and he would absolutely fight us on it anyways if we tried, but we're talking about having some sort of in-home nurse come by a couple times a week to make sure he's taking his meds and maybe look for any weird shit that might concern us kids. Not sure how he'd react to that but it's probably needed sooner rather than later. 

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1 hour ago, Brisketexan said:

Sigh.  Have reached that point with the old man.  Right before we left for Germany a couple of weeks ago, he had a slight fender-bender.  But his story about it, and how it happened, was confusing.  Then, one of my wife's friends (who lives down the street from my dad) called her to share with her that she had concerns about his driving - he'd seem confused in their small sub-area, had gone out an entrance drive, etc.  So, I was going to have to have a tough call with my old man when I got back.

Well, I was back in town and up and running yesterday (even though I feel like shit - brought back a respiratory infection with me).  Got in touch with my dad....and he took the lead.  Said he had more to tell me about the accident.  Turns out, it was his fault, he tried to change lanes without looking adequately (which happens), but he voiced that in just the last month or so, he feels like his vision and reflexes have declined....so he probably shouldn't drive.  So he'll need my help to get the car into the shop for repairs, and then to figure out what to do with it.  And then, "I guess I'll need to start taking Uber."  I told him that YES, and that's GOOD AND FINE.  So, tonight, I'm going to make sure his app is set up, and maybe we'll even take a test trip to dinner and back.

But it's hard, of course. He's an independent man, and stubborn like all of us. But god bless him, he's an engineer, and he sees shit pretty matter-of-fact from a safety standpoint.  And when he realized the data said he shouldn't drive anymore, he made the decision himself.  I'm really proud of him for that.

But what killed me was him telling me that he was so sorry for asking for my help, and imposing.  He and my mom always tried to NOT be a burden, to NOT need my help, so he's sorry that's changing.  I told him to stop that -- and that one of the things I've realized is that needing help doesn't mean you're a burden, or you're imposing, or you're a problem.  It means you're part of a family and a community.  I need help sometimes, and it's hard for me to ask for it and accept it because I'm a problem-SOLVER to the core of my being (he's the same way).  But we need to get over that shit.  It's okay to need help, and to ask for it.  It's what we do.

I'm headed over there tonight to see him.  I feel pretty shitty about how little help I've been since my mom died.  This shit is hard.

I had to do all of this with my WWII-veteran grandfather in his last 5 years.  He was fiercely independent but started having more and more "car issues".  I can give you some awesome stories another time (some funny, some "oh shit"), but no matter how hard we tried to convince him (including me "anonymously reporting him" to DPS and them forcing him to take a driving test - WHICH HE SOMEHOW PASSED!), it was just like your dad ... it wasn't until *he* decided and accepted his limitations that he stopped driving.

"Helping" him in his last 5-10 years was probably the greatest thing I've ever done, short of raising two good citizen kids.  While it was tough, challenging (from him more often than not!), and a definite impact on life for me ... I would not have changed a single second of it.  I would swing by after work several days a week and just hang out.  A lot of the times, he'd have the channel with "Andy Griffith", or some western on, and he'd fall asleep in his chair for 30 minutes.  

I miss that old guy ...  he was my hero.  I strive to be half the man he was.

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