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What do you do if you win the lottery for realz?

Sbbruin

By Sbbruin
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Chewy's Hairy Horn

Chewy's Hairy Horn 868

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On 3/30/2018 at 4:09 PM, AUS-97HORN said:

I would buy a massive chunk of beachside property in Belize. build a house on it, but also build a small bar close to water,  make sure its got every type of satellite dish to lure in the tourists from Europe and the US in,  and hire 5 hot  18-25 year lady bartenders to handle the bar while I just sit back and become the master of my domain.

I wouldnt call it work, I would call it relaxation and mental stimulation

This is the correct answer. 

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txhorns

txhorns 2409

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1. Payoff Blacklab's legal fees

2. Buy the Eskimo Hut franchise, rename it ShaggyTexas, and create a drink called "Kevin Morgan's FUPA" to be sold for tree fiddy

3. Blow the rest on the first Surly happy hour with more booze than even we could drink complete with Emily Ratjakowski, Sara Jean Underwood and Alexandra Daddario as strippers.

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Guest

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Dude sounds pretty surly...

 

A man from Illinois was arrested for getting $224,000 worth of manure dumped on his former employer’s property, only two weeks after he won $125 million at the lottery and quit his job.

54-year old Brian Morris, from the small town of Clarendon Hills in Dupage County, bought over 20,000 tons of manure and asked for it to be dumped on his former boss’ property, pretending it was his residence.

Dozens of trucks filled with manure showed up in front of the house around 6:00 this morning and began dumping their smelly cargo over the property’s lawn.

George Fitzgerald, Mr. Morris’ former employer, was awakened by the sound of the vehicles on his property and rapidly called the police.

Unfortunately, it took the police more than 15 minutes to arrive on the site, and more than 10,000 tons of manure had already been dumped in the meantime.

Brian Morris was standing right across the street and laughing when the police arrived, and he rapidly came over to confess his responsibility and explain his motivations.

Lieutenant Frank Meyers, a spokesman of the Clarendon Hills Police Department, met the press a few hours later to explain the motivations behind this strange crime.

“The accused told us he’d worked for the victim for 17 years and was treated like shit. He says he had to endure his mistreatment because he needed the money, but that now that he won $125 million it was time for revenge.”

manurevilla3.jpg

The Clarendon Hills Police Department admitted that its response time was inadequate and said it would keep a close eye on Mr. Morris to avoid any more incidents.

Brian Morris had attracted a lot of media attention two weeks ago after winning $125 million at Powerball Multi-state lottery.

When asked by organizers what he would do with the money, he had simply answered: “Just read the news, you’ll see“.

He was freed on bail a few hours after his arrest, and told reporters to “stay alert“, claiming he had “a few other pranks to pull over the next few weeks“.

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Tired of Lurking

Tired of Lurking 637

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Seriously though, I'd buy a house in Kyle, a condo at the Independent, pay off my mom's house and all of her debts and fix it up for my sister, pay off my brother's homes, pay off all of our debts, and get a fancy new dad car. I'd invest in some bitcoin and do a little bit of traveling. I'd hire a CPA and set up a nice account for my kiddo. And finally, I would hire the best family law lawyer in Texas and win this fucking thing.

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High Plains Drifter

High Plains Drifter 11049

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On 5/16/2018 at 11:24 AM, Tired of Lurking said:

Seriously though, I'd buy a house in Kyle, a condo at the Independent, pay off my mom's house and all of her debts and fix it up for my sister, pay off my brother's homes, pay off all of our debts, and get a fancy new dad car. I'd invest in some bitcoin and do a little bit of traveling. I'd hire a CPA and set up a nice account for my kiddo. And finally, I would hire the best family law lawyer in Texas and win this fucking thing.

Kyle Texas?

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AUS-97HORN

AUS-97HORN 11764

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10 minutes ago, Tired of Lurking said:

Most of my family is in Austin and surrounding cities and I prefer South Austin to North Austin.

this is a fail of epic proportions.  the whole point of winning the lottery is to be able to get AWAY from your family.

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Johnny Sack

Johnny Sack 8397

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On 3/30/2018 at 4:09 PM, AUS-97HORN said:

I would buy a massive chunk of beachside property in Belize. build a house on it, but also build a small bar close to water,  make sure its got every type of satellite dish to lure in the tourists from Europe and the US in,  and hire 5 hot  18-25 year lady bartenders to handle the bar while I just sit back and become the master of my domain.

I wouldnt call it work, I would call it relaxation and mental stimulation

I would start a foundation to help homeless children.

0ded0953-62f9-4d39-8eb4-ff56cb151e45_scr

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Ojo Rojo

Ojo Rojo 1965

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The liquor store closest to my house gives you a QP lottery ticket with any purchase over $50.  I was a bit bummed last night to see that Wednesday's drawing has an estimated cash value option worth only $3.43M.  So you'd get to keep about $2M after taxes.  That ain't "fuck you" money, by any means.  Not even enough to retire comfortably.  I'd worry less if I won that amount of money, but I'd still go to work every day and basically nothing would change.

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BigHorn'13

BigHorn'13 3363

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Very first thing is getting a deposit box for safe keeping. Then the process of selecting attorneys and CFPs to make sure I can allocate the money how I want without harsh taxation. Next would be getting the fam setup. Some charitable contributions and scholarships setup then I'll look at investments. Any lavish spending would not be done until the previous things mentioned are accomplished. But this is also what I think about 5/7 nights a week as I try to go to sleep. Figure it's better to have something of a plan in place should it ever happen since the ones who don't usually end up broke before too long.

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Bullneck

Bullneck 19095

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Move back to Orlando and start buying up dumpy houses, knock them down, and rebuild with my own little architectural masterpieces.  I figure it would take 10-15 attempts before I hit my stride.  It would keep me busy. 

Build a house big enough that I don't have to see my wife more than once or twice a day.  Send the kids to boarding school.  

Start hitting the margaritas promptly at 5pm.  EST. 

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nivek3

nivek3 83

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I think I would buy a little place somewhere in Colorado with a porch facing the mountains. The mornings would be for enjoying coffee & the sunrise. In the evenings after feeding the pup a slab of steak, I think I would spend more time on the porch enjoying a smoke and a beverage. I believe I could pass the rest of my days with that routine. My buddy is good with that plan as well..

exZpObvdI6lTcb-aZ55JoZha_w5HdhALk6BlM-A3fblxvX0e44vU3gjw7qkXmZNleAa43mwvJc6PFOQJ1Cvd_WFMMxt50rljCrtZMAhOFh0wH-my6oyKI8D2QvXW8UIDLCZBuO4jgGA7IqAe-V_mf6SHXY7DGoG9xl5Sj4UROnn23kVTF2X-P_tqFHPzomuBv0-db__KpXfV2GI0IirzKBwL9FTuFFdPccHJyfBCXeIB3b94HmauD-TVNLsqN0GV5AP7lIuZRkv_5G6gkQKuF5b-b_XgpHzfBAv9_Dt_wbXJ5xtpA7SaTIhPV0E7t00CDZZy7URZYSNYmCUutisx1Hth243hYDBc9YwIOVGJcZShpm6OZcMX0sBh-FW_b5fCtPCmwoKHACmzEkIctoo6qZdyREuzl5FnU8v4jLdf7DTCtfs6hfeILqZgjtkQF4mwXbKglNYTJh9uapkG2YZbIIdyctOyG7xaZKGOOYrtStk1WUbS4GQNhuhnkeuODoeDAi2dX1JfRaXZJRq9nsUcIy2Ofl_ASDYYmDQe9Ot_z-gzHmJsKfdvLnICDZ8Ke06G41mmD5d4HgiFSGlj8cVYJR4nk6IYZkx7EUb5qic=w935-h1215-no

 

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CooterBrown

CooterBrown 18013

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Move back to Orlando and start buying up dumpy houses, knock them down, and rebuild with my own little architectural masterpieces.  I figure it would take 10-15 attempts before I hit my stride.  It would keep me busy. 
Build a house big enough that I don't have to see my wife more than once or twice a day.  Send the kids to boarding school.  
Start hitting the margaritas promptly at 5pm.  EST. 


Orlando? No one in the history of forever has had that dream. Go hard you unique original bastard.
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