‘Anyone else do this?’ thread

[DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt 12301]

Look over their shoulder when they’re surfing surly at the Austin airport?

[markstanco 12571]

ask him if he is from the internet

[Grade of D as in David 13253]

In before waffle stomping and standing while wiping

[Macanudo 12975]

28 minutes ago, Grade of D as in David said:

In before waffle stomping and standing while wiping

Or sitting only to pee.

[Lerka Lerka 1086]

If you happen to meet a shaggy/surly poster while looking over your shoulder and they say they're definitely not hollywood colt, did they meet you? 

 

 

[Kennythetiger 9375]

Prior to traveling to a new town, I will often surf Surly for dining recommendations.  We'll be in the restaurant and my girlfriend will look around and ask, "Do you think any of these guys are from your website?"

"Probably not- everyone here looks pretty normal."

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

Look over their shoulder when they’re surfing surly at the Austin airport?

Is he good looking?

[Shaggy3.0 1695]

Look over their shoulder when they’re surfing surly at the Austin airport?

Yes. And making sure the bookmarked pron pages don’t load.

[Prepuce of Doom 21053]

6 hours ago, Grade of D as in David said:

In before waffle stomping and standing while wiping

The other night, I had a dream that I committed a waffle stomp and my wife caught me mid-way through the destruction of the evidence. 

[Grade of D as in David 13253]

A dream? 

[Jhawk 1075]

Anyone else fart as they do a pirouette in front of the toilet as they are sitting down to shit?  I typically hold my shit until the last possible moments so I'll rush in the bathroom, undoing my belt/pants as i'm walking in the bathroom.  As i approach the front of the shitter I'll drop my pants, spin ass toward the hole, and sit at the same time.  I ALWAYS let out a fart as I'm spinning which means I effectively am farting in my own face because my ass level (pre-sit) is at my face level (post sit).  Basically an appetizer to what the shit is going to smell like.  If I have a rank fart and a floater then I might courtesy flush because that is just asking for trouble

 

[NeverMarryAStripper 21874]

I always organize the bills in my wallet so that they are oriented the same way and in order from smallest to largest

[TexArcher 37766]

I line up the dead hookers in my garage from shortest to tallest.

[Jhawk 1075]

4 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I always organize the bills in my wallet so that they are oriented the same way and in order from smallest to largest

The only time your bills should be out of sorts is when you're tossing them at a stripper or a child is handing you money.

Edited May 3, 2019 by Jhawk

[Bullneck 19073]

9 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I always organize the bills in my wallet so that they are oriented the same way and in order from smallest to largest

I do that, just so I have an idea of how much money I'm carrying.  

[HornPhD 1368]

20 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I always organize the bills in my wallet so that they are oriented the same way and in order from smallest to largest

There are people that don't do this?

[flatdawgs 1277]

3 hours ago, TexArcher said:

I line up the dead hookers in my garage from shortest to tallest.

Wait... are there 5 of them?

WHO ARE YOU??? (allegedly)

[BearCountry11 1234]

10 hours ago, Macanudo said:

Or sitting only to pee.

This I still don’t understand as a man. 

[ImissWallyPryor 9046]

4 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I always organize the bills in my wallet so that they are oriented the same way and in order from smallest to largest

Largest to smallest here. 

[Txslnghrns 1352]

I always organize the bills in my wallet so that they are oriented the same way and in order from smallest to largest

Username.......whatever.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Fuck Tim Beck 3815]

Anyone else constantly jack off while driving your jetta around Austin being chased by a creepy stalker chick who videos you? 

[Chewbacca 7767]

18 hours ago, Jhawk said:

Anyone else fart as they do a pirouette in front of the toilet as they are sitting down to shit?  I typically hold my shit until the last possible moments so I'll rush in the bathroom, undoing my belt/pants as i'm walking in the bathroom.  As i approach the front of the shitter I'll drop my pants, spin ass toward the hole, and sit at the same time.  I ALWAYS let out a fart as I'm spinning which means I effectively am farting in my own face because my ass level (pre-sit) is at my face level (post sit).  Basically an appetizer to what the shit is going to smell like.  If I have a rank fart and a floater then I might courtesy flush because that is just asking for trouble

 

You are going to shit your pants if you keep doing that.  See you in the shart thread soon!

[Jhawk 1075]

I’m already in that thread and am a stalwart. As Emilio estevez said in Young Guns. “You have to test yourself everyday.”

[TexOx 110]

22 hours ago, Jhawk said:

Anyone else fart as they do a pirouette in front of the toilet as they are sitting down to shit?  I typically hold my shit until the last possible moments so I'll rush in the bathroom, undoing my belt/pants as i'm walking in the bathroom.  As i approach the front of the shitter I'll drop my pants, spin ass toward the hole, and sit at the same time.  I ALWAYS let out a fart as I'm spinning which means I effectively am farting in my own face because my ass level (pre-sit) is at my face level (post sit).  Basically an appetizer to what the shit is going to smell like.  If I have a rank fart and a floater then I might courtesy flush because that is just asking for trouble

 

Boy that was some powerful imagery. 

[NateHitch 1282]

23 hours ago, Jhawk said:

Anyone else fart as they do a pirouette in front of the toilet as they are sitting down to shit?  I typically hold my shit until the last possible moments so I'll rush in the bathroom, undoing my belt/pants as i'm walking in the bathroom.  As i approach the front of the shitter I'll drop my pants, spin ass toward the hole, and sit at the same time.  I ALWAYS let out a fart as I'm spinning which means I effectively am farting in my own face because my ass level (pre-sit) is at my face level (post sit).  Basically an appetizer to what the shit is going to smell like.  If I have a rank fart and a floater then I might courtesy flush because that is just asking for trouble

 

Your dumps are a lot more involved than mine.  I usually just sit down and take a shit.

[Sbbruin 21829]

And I go to take a shit at the first inkling of one of the kids hankering to go for a swim.

Edited May 3, 2019 by Sbbruin

[Baboontyme 2809]

Anyone else look around while driving, be it down the interstate, at a stop light, doing 45 on a four lane road, etc etc and realize that EVERY OTHER FUCKING DRIVER ON THE ROAD IS ACTIVELY TEXTING?

Or is it just me. 

[NateHitch 1282]

Speaking of farts and shit, how do y'all handle the wife/girlfriend pooping thing?  If it's obvious, like I walk into the bedroom and notice the bathroom door is closed and the vent fans are on I'll usually avoid the area for the next hour or so.  I'll just use the guest bathroom in the meantime.  But sometimes I'll venture in just to see if girl poop is as rank as mine, I like to entertain the idea that there's no possible way hers can be worse than mine.  I've grown a bit over the years when I used to think she didn't fart or poop, now I just try to act like it has to smell better than what I produce but my infrequent ventures into the post-poop zone have my world crashing down in front of my eyes.

[ChiTownDoc 21143]

On 5/2/2019 at 7:19 PM, Jhawk said:

Anyone else fart as they do a pirouette in front of the toilet as they are sitting down to shit?  I typically hold my shit until the last possible moments so I'll rush in the bathroom, undoing my belt/pants as i'm walking in the bathroom.  As i approach the front of the shitter I'll drop my pants, spin ass toward the hole, and sit at the same time.  I ALWAYS let out a fart as I'm spinning which means I effectively am farting in my own face because my ass level (pre-sit) is at my face level (post sit).  Basically an appetizer to what the shit is going to smell like.  If I have a rank fart and a floater then I might courtesy flush because that is just asking for trouble

 

Know how I know you still frequent shaggy?

[After irth 1243]

1 hour ago, NateHitch said:

Speaking of farts and shit, how do y'all handle the wife/girlfriend pooping thing?  If it's obvious, like I walk into the bedroom and notice the bathroom door is closed and the vent fans are on I'll usually avoid the area for the next hour or so.  I'll just use the guest bathroom in the meantime.  But sometimes I'll venture in just to see if girl poop is as rank as mine, I like to entertain the idea that there's no possible way hers can be worse than mine.  I've grown a bit over the years when I used to think she didn't fart or poop, now I just try to act like it has to smell better than what I produce but my infrequent ventures into the post-poop zone have my world crashing down in front of my eyes.

I’m not easily offended. Wife’s a Dr. and is not grossed out by anything (no pics), but...for some reason...we keep separate throne rooms. Just kinda naturally evolved that way, unspoken. We just both tend to like to do our business uninterrupted and in private. 

Not that we can’t share a bathroom. Happens all the time, mostly while traveling. Neither one of us are shy. Plus, she’s the farter in the relationship. 

Tinker-stinker time, however, is a holy thing. Don’t ask me why. 

[After irth 1243]

1 hour ago, Baboontyme said:

Anyone else look around while driving, be it down the interstate, at a stop light, doing 45 on a four lane road, etc etc and realize that EVERY OTHER FUCKING DRIVER ON THE ROAD IS ACTIVELY TEXTING?

Or is it just me. 

That’s just scary.

I used to log many miles in my career. Not so much now. And I don’t enjoy driving like I used to. It kinda concerns me that I’m actually becoming a bit of a nervous driver now.  Maybe with good reason.....

[Jhawk 1075]

12 hours ago, NateHitch said:

Speaking of farts and shit, how do y'all handle the wife/girlfriend pooping thing?  If it's obvious, like I walk into the bedroom and notice the bathroom door is closed and the vent fans are on I'll usually avoid the area for the next hour or so.  I'll just use the guest bathroom in the meantime.  But sometimes I'll venture in just to see if girl poop is as rank as mine, I like to entertain the idea that there's no possible way hers can be worse than mine.  I've grown a bit over the years when I used to think she didn't fart or poop, now I just try to act like it has to smell better than what I produce but my infrequent ventures into the post-poop zone have my world crashing down in front of my eyes.

One of the things I loved most about my ex was that she wasn’t afraid to fart her ass off or take a big dump. One time we got stoned and ate McDonald’s. We laid in bed and she ripped ass and it smelled EXACTLY like the Big Mac she had just ate. Uncanny really. 

[luke duke 6412]

One of the things I loved most about my ex was that she wasn’t afraid to fart her ass off or take a big dump. One time we got stoned and ate McDonald’s. We laid in bed and she ripped ass and it smelled EXACTLY like the Big Mac she had just ate. Uncanny really. 

Wrong thread
https://www.surlyhorns.com/board/index.php?/topic/813-Things-you%27re-a-little-bit-embarrassed-to-admit

[Beau Vine 54207]

14 hours ago, NateHitch said:

Speaking of farts and shit, how do y'all handle the wife/girlfriend pooping thing?  If it's obvious, like I walk into the bedroom and notice the bathroom door is closed and the vent fans are on I'll usually avoid the area for the next hour or so.  I'll just use the guest bathroom in the meantime.  But sometimes I'll venture in just to see if girl poop is as rank as mine, I like to entertain the idea that there's no possible way hers can be worse than mine.  I've grown a bit over the years when I used to think she didn't fart or poop, now I just try to act like it has to smell better than what I produce but my infrequent ventures into the post-poop zone have my world crashing down in front of my eyes.

We just moved into a new house and there's not a door on the bathroom in the master bedroom.  Neither of us thought much of it at first, but it took one morning in the house for both of us to conclude, "Fuck this." 

[Underdog 28576]

On 5/2/2019 at 1:34 PM, Macanudo said:

Or sitting only to pee.

<——. Not the least bit embarrassed to admit I like to sit when I piss, especially at home and find it quite comfortable.   Now if I can just remember to pull down the trousers before pissing then everything would be good. 

[NateHitch 1282]

5 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

We just moved into a new house and there's not a door on the bathroom in the master bedroom.  Neither of us thought much of it at first, but it took one morning in the house for both of us to conclude, "Fuck this." 

Yeah fuck that and the builder that thought it'd be a good idea.  Ain't nobody want an open concept bathroom when they have a stomach bug.

[Grade of D as in David 13253]

8 hours ago, Jhawk said:

We laid in bed and she ripped ass and it smelled EXACTLY like the Big Mac she had just ate. Uncanny really. 

Not surprised. McDonald's tastes like shit, no wonder it also smells like it.

[Jhawk 1075]

7 hours ago, Underdog said:

<——. Not the least bit embarrassed to admit I like to sit when I piss, especially at home and find it quite comfortable.   Now if I can just remember to pull down the trousers before pissing then everything would be good. 

I sit in the morning when I’m groggy. Usually end up shitting too but don’t necessarily mean to. I usually piss/shit with the lights off in the morning so standing isn’t an option. 

[dcbc 14465]

Middle of the night?  Yeah.  Leave the lights off and sit to piss.  No brainer.

[PilotsError 2286]

My bathroom has a light over the shower.  I turn it on and it emits a very low light in the rest of the bathroom.  Perfect for the middle of the night.

[Kyrie Eleison 9312]

my fiancé Dutch ovened me 3 mornings ago and laughed her ass of when she did it, and i literally asked her to marry me later that day. had it all planned out already, but that surly behavior only solidified my opinion that i’m with the absolute perfect woman for me.

[markstanco 12571]

Largest to smallest here. 

Same. Open wallet, and the ones show up first.

[Longhorn Al 440]

When a tv or radio has a volume setting with numbers, I have to go up or down by 5s.

[After irth 1243]

2 hours ago, Longhorn Al said:

When a tv or radio has a volume setting with numbers, I have to go up or down by 5s.

I only accept even numbers. No idea why. 

[Sam Lin 3551]

3 hours ago, Longhorn Al said:

When a tv or radio has a volume setting with numbers, I have to go up or down by 5s.

My phone does this, and it aggravates me. I haven't figured out a way to make it go up and down in units of 1.

[Wally Fairway 5541]

On ‎5‎/‎2‎/‎2019 at 9:08 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I always organize the bills in my wallet so that they are oriented the same way and in order from smallest to largest

WTF - you carry actual cash money? and enough of it that you have to sort it.....this must have turned into the this is how I know you are an old thread.

I typically carry 1 bill, either a 10 or a 20, I use a money clip and if I need to use it the change takes me about a week to spend.

[66BUFF 2562]

6 hours ago, Wally Fairway said:

WTF - you carry actual cash money? and enough of it that you have to sort it.....this must have turned into the this is how I know you are an old thread.

I typically carry 1 bill, either a 10 or a 20, I use a money clip and if I need to use it the change takes me about a week to spend.

You use a money clip for 1 bill?

[Vic Mackey 47011]

On 5/2/2019 at 8:08 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I always organize the bills in my wallet so that they are oriented the same way and in order from smallest to largest

I do the same and this is how it should be done. Maybe not facing the same way but they should absolutely be ordered from largest to smallest. Makes it easier when getting cash out for a transaction. But I'm OCD about organization so I also make sure they are always facing the same way. 

[High Plains Drifter 11029]

On 5/4/2019 at 4:04 PM, NateHitch said:

Yeah fuck that and the builder that thought it'd be a good idea.  Ain't nobody want an open concept bathroom when they have a stomach bug.

 

When I read BV's post, I thought he meant the door wasn't on the shitter yet, as in the house was still unfinished.

 

I feel like my eyes have been opened, and not in a good way. No door on the shitter is an actual thing? Is the species devolving? My dogs don't give a fuck, they shit in front of God and Man with no qualms. I used to think we were better than dogs...

 

 

[NWBuck 8552]

10 hours ago, After irth said:

I only accept even numbers. No idea why. 

Same, but odd(er)