What would you do different if you could do it again

[pops 6985]

Assuming you had a chance to go back to your 20 year old self and talk to him for an hour what would you say?

I have a better life than most people on this marble and I would hate to do anything that would fuck up the space time continuum that would lead to not having any of my kids or my wife, but I wish I would have joined the military. Not sure which branch, just wish I would have served. I love the fuck out of this country and I should have done more for it. 

Career wise has been a long strange trip but don't think I'd change it. 

Anyhow.... What you got?

[Dewey 3286]

I'd be a basketball player, probably with the Lakers.

[RPM 26321]

Whatever you do, don't fuck the blonde chick named Diana.

[South Austin 52507]

Similar to pops, I wish I had joined the Marines.

My old man is a Marine. Served 27 years. Joined out of college in ‘64 because he knew he was going to get drafted and didn’t want to be told which branch he was going to. Served two tours in Vietnam as an infrantry officer, and retired as a full bird Colonel after serving in the Persian Gulf War. I fucking loved growing up on Marine Coprs bases. I consider it a privilege in life.

But it’s also a tough life on you and your family. We moved every 2-3 years, and my dad had 3 to 6 month deployments, one lasting a full year. He was on a ship at sea when my kid brother was born.

But still, I’ll always have some level of regret for having not been a Marine, even for just a few years. When I was in law school, I came real close to interviewing with the JAG Corps. I felt the pull, but just couldn’t do it. Maybe in my next life.

Edited May 12, 2019 by South Austin

[Patricio Swayze 17058]

This is a bad game for me to play.

[South Austin 52507]

2 minutes ago, Patricio Swayze said:

This is a bad game for me to play.

You would’ve been a herpetologist?

Edited May 12, 2019 by South Austin

[Guest Lobo]

^ (two posts above) 

 A lot of this^    My father was Navy, and most of the males on both sides of my family were either Navy or Marine Corps.  After I left Stetson University after two years, I got real close to enlisting Marine Corps.  HE talked me out of it actually, even though he wanted me to serve at some point, but he'd prefer I did it as an officer.  So I finished college in Texas, then went to law school.  Where after I ran out of money, thought I'd go the JAG Corps route with Marines.  But I didn't end up doing that either.  I would like to go back and finish law school as well but real life kept getting in the way.  But yeah, not a week goes by that I don't regret not going into the service at least for a few years.  So much other shit though, too.  One of the few things I'm decent at in life is being able to let go of people and shit from long ago.  But service like that would have been great for me for the rest of my life.  

[Dahobbs 17534]

Your mom. 

[Guest]

13 minutes ago, South Austin said:

Similar to pops, I wish I had joined the Marines.

My old man is a Marine. Served 27 years. Joined out of college in ‘64 because he knew he was going to get drafted and didn’t want to be told which branch he was going to. Served two tours in Vietnam as an infrantry officer, and retired as a full bird Colonel after serving in the Persian Gulf War. I fucking loved growing up on Marine Coprs bases. I consider it a privilege in life.

But it’s also a tough life on you and your family. We moved every 2-3 years, and my dad had 3 to 6 month deployments, one lasting a full year. He was on a ship at sea when my kid brother was born.

But still, I’ll always have some level of regret for having not been a Marine, even for just a few years. When I was in law school, I came real close to interviewing with the JAG Corps. I felt the pull, but just couldn’t do it. Maybe in my next life.

Both of my older brothers balking at joining the Marine Corps had something to do with my decision to enlist.  Of course it was not remotely the whole reason or most important one; but it absolutely was a factor in doing something they pussed-out on.  The thing about my service was that I was not married until the last 2 years of my 6 year commitment.  That definitely changed how I felt about being a Marine.  IMHO, being a Soldier/Sailor/ Marine is a single man's gig; even though plenty of married folks do it successfully.

Related to the thread, if I could change anything, I would not have been such a stupid, self-centered douche-canoe son-in-law during the first 5 years of my marriage.  My dear MIL has had Alzheimer's for the past 5-6 years and is now in the final stages.  I kickmyself for cheating both of us out of those precious times in the beginning of our relationship.  I'd give damned near anything to have another cut at it.  She basically wanted me dead, and had every reason to.  Fortunately, I eventually wise up and we developed a very close relationship that I cherish.  She is still alive and I miss her so very fucking much.  I wish I could tell her Happy Mother's Day today... and have it resonate with her how much she is loved.

[pops 6985]

17 minutes ago, slorch said:

Both of my older brothers balking at joining the Marine Corps had something to do with my decision to enlist.  Of course it was not remotely the whole reason or most important one; but it absolutely was a factor in doing something they pussed-out on.  The thing about my service was that I was not married until the last 2 years of my 6 year commitment.  That definitely changed how I felt about being a Marine.  IMHO, being a Soldier/Sailor/ Marine is a single man's gig; even though plenty of married folks do it successfully.

Related to the thread, if I could change anything, I would not have been such a stupid, self-centered douche-canoe son-in-law during the first 5 years of my marriage.  My dear MIL has had Alzheimer's for the past 5-6 years and is now in the final stages.  I kickmyself for cheating both of us out of those precious times in the beginning of our relationship.  I'd give damned near anything to have another cut at it.  She basically wanted me dead, and had every reason to.  Fortunately, I eventually wise up and we developed a very close relationship that I cherish.  She is still alive and I miss her so very fucking much.  I wish I could tell her Happy Mother's Day today... and have it resonate with her how much she is loved.

Thank you for your service. And I don't say that flippantly.  I respect the fuck out of all who served for wherever reason. 

They say youth is wasted on the young. At least you now know what you missed and what you wish you could change and I'm sure other relationships are the better for it. 

[Patricio Swayze 17058]

You would’ve been a herpetologist?

Ha! Probably not.

Ok, I’ll play along. Here are various paths I sometimes I find myself daydreaming about:

1. Had majored in business while at Texas and continued to do music on the side, learning via internships. Hopefully the business background would have given me better chance at making my studio work. By the time I was ready to swallow my pride and try to get a second job to keep the studio open, it was too late. Plus I was pretty beaten down by the whole thing and being poor sucked.

Or

2. The studio still didn’t work out and I still go back for a second degree, but this time I stick to my plan of becoming a professor (history/Latin American studies).

Amor fati

[pops 6985]

6 minutes ago, Patricio Swayze said:

Ha! Probably not.

Ok, I’ll play along. Here are various paths I sometimes I find myself daydreaming about:

1. Had majored in business while at Texas and continued to do music on the side, learning via internships. Hopefully the business background would have given me better chance at making my studio work. By the time I was ready to swallow my pride and try to get a second job to keep the studio open, it was too late. Plus I was pretty beaten down by the whole thing and being poor sucked.

Or

2. The studio still didn’t work out and I still go back for a second degree, but this time I stick to my plan of becoming a professor (history/Latin American studies).

Amor fati

I was raised in an entrepreneurial family. My grandpa left middle School in 8th grade and headed south to build the Hoover dam. Eventually started his own construction company that my dad and his brothers ended up running and then sold out from under me while I was a sophomore in college. 

I grew up hating government interference and red tape and never even considered that as a career. 

Now... I'm telling my kids to get government jobs. You put in your 20 and at 40 or 45 you can do what you want with a big ass pension paying for it. 

[freyguy 4272]

[tx 3 putt 76958]

1 hour ago, Dahobbs said:

Your mom. 

i already did his mom, but would have did her more than twice 

[NeverMarryAStripper 21907]

I can’t think of anything I’d say

[Gil Bang 25958]

Worry less about pussy and more about school and work. 

If you're successful, you'll have more pussy than you could hope for, and you won't have to work for it. 

[LebongJames 1811]

It’s hard to say but it would only be career related. I’m only 34 and love my wife and couldn’t be happier. I am in sales and with that comes a ton of perks and a good salary but I am a road warrior covering Texas, Oklahoma and Arkansas. When I’m home I work from home. 

Some mornings though I wake up and just wish I was doing something else. Fucking useless environmental science degree.

[Steel Shank 9425]

Would've become an arborist.

[gmr548 16580]

I'm pretty good at math but generally avoided it through college. Skated through HS math, in hindsight was just lazy as shit but let myself go along with the "I'm not good at math" bit. Did just well enough to test out of math at UT (non-stem major). I double majored, and while I don't necessarialy regret either one of my degrees, I'd probably swap one out for something more quantitative like econ or stats if I did it again. I'm doing fine for 27, largely because of technical/analytical skills, but I'd have had way better options out of school.

Sent from my SM-G920V using Tapatalk

[dirtonia 269]

I’d go back in time and not read this stupid fucking thread.

BOOM ROASTED!

[fattyflattie 4639]

OP, I've mentioned it on the scat site, but the only real regret I ever had was not serving my country.  I had no reason or draw to it when it would have made sense, but in my early 30's, I began to have a very strong draw to it.  By then it was wife, three kids, good job, etc.   My grandfathers served, but other than that, we didn't have many in the family who did.

Might not have been a great choice. I turned 18 about a month before 9/11 and everything that came of that.  

Other than that, no real regrets.  Should have tried harder in high school to get into a better college, but that has been a huge hindrance.  I've been able to keep up with most of my peers out of the bigger state schools, but I can feel the gap starting to grow.  

[NBMisha 224]

First thing that comes to mind, similar to Gil Bang, is I would have worked harder, academically, starting earlier.  But what would have come of that?  I can't imagine wanting more in terms of life and life's experiences than I have already.  And by most any measure, I did work hard enough, soon enough. 

Which brings to mind that this is not as useful an exercise as asking what to do now.  

[52-80 19159]

I like my place in life and how it turned out.

 

Only minor things I would change, like pay more attention in college and actually learn stuff (history, arts, etc).  And savor all the little things a bit more.

 

And that one weekend in Tijuana

[52-80 19159]

One concrete thing I wish I had was better documentation of the years.  I had one of the earlier pocket digicams but didnt take pictures that consistently.

 

Atleast 1 photo per week with some notes/caption would be a great way to capture some memories.  Nowadays with the selfiecam and cloud storage and GPS tagging and face recognition its easy. 

[NBMisha 224]

Now if the question is about regrets for things done that we wouldn't do if given the chance.... I could fill a dump truck with the nonsense I have pullled up to about yesterday.

 

 

[Baboontyme 2812]

I would have dropped out of college and become a carnie. I'd have to start from the bottom but the goal would be the Tilt-a-whirl. 

[Reagan1k 3024]

The only thing I would change would be to have saved an additional 5% - 8% annually- over and above my normal savings rate.  

I've always been a saver and investor, but I see what just a little more discipline could have done.

I can now see looking back how much waste there always was and that I'd never have missed that money that was effectively pissed away.

Glancing in the rear view mirror and seeing what that money could be doing now to benefit my family and others is my only regret.

[Nueces River Rat 5539]

I guess if I could go back 27 years and some change,  I'd put my mindset on focusing on my math and science skills  a tad more than I did back then.   But I guess I'd have to go back even a few years before then such as 7th or 8th grade and pound that into my young skull.  I mean I know of people who were slackers when it came to math and science in middle and high school who turned out to be good engineers, doctors, and other professions were you need good math and science skills to at least progress through a degree program at reputable institution of higher learning.   Of course like most jobs in the real world, you will learn most of what makes you good eventually by getting your hands dirty and not sitting at a desk calculating away at some formula to come to a solution.  But none the less, something clicked in their heads and they got after it which means I certainly could have done the same damn thing.   

But why would I focus on the math and science thing?   I love architecture and if I had to do a career rewind, that's a path I would take.   I've always admired folks I know in the field who can conceptualize things and make them happen.  Plus they  acquire knowledge  which helps them with their everyday tasks such as fixing things around the house,  etc.   I'm a damn idiot when it comes to doing some of those things and either have to read up or ask someone to help.  Or worse yet pay someone to do it.  

The other thing, I would have told my lazy ass to continue working out after high school   instead of lying around after class or work and getting fat along with eating/ and overdrinking crap.    About five years ago, I said enough of that sort of lifestyle and started hitting the weights and cardio hard and it's paid off.  I'm probably in the best shape since  my high school athletic days and I'm certainly surpassing  weightlifting benchmarks I probably wouldn't have even gotten close to in high school.   I can't  imagine what kind of shape I'd be in even if I did half the regimen I do know all through my twenties and into the thirties.   

[South Austin 52507]

19 minutes ago, Nueces River Rat said:

I love architecture and if I had to do a career rewind, that's a path I would take.  

Well, isn't an architect just an art school drop-out with a tilty desk, and a big ruler?

[Nueces River Rat 5539]

40 minutes ago, South Austin said:

Well, isn't an architect just an art school drop-out with a tilty desk, and a big ruler?

Lol!   But hey those desk make you look like a bad ass none the less.  

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

2 hours ago, Baboontyme said:

I would have dropped out of college and become a carnie. I'd have to start from the bottom but the goal would be the Tilt-a-whirl. 

I was always a Himalayan Express man myself. That or the guess your weight booth shift manager.

[South Austin 52507]

29 minutes ago, Nueces River Rat said:

Lol!   But hey those desk make you look like a bad ass none the less.  

You know, the stupidest guy in my fraternity became an architect - after he flunked out of dental school!

[El Diablo 4232]

1996. I'd like a do-over for that one year.

[Sandman 3403]

I would have applied myself in HS and gone to college. Not going to college is probably my biggest regrets. I joined the Marine Corps instead and I wouldn't do that again, I'd go into the USAF like my dad suggested. He was in year 25 of his Air Force career and strongly recommended that I go that route instead of the Marines. I figured I knew better than he and made a huge mistake. He never said "I told you so", and I'll always love him for that. 

No one has said this so far, but I'd also run far away from my ex-wife and ensure that I'd never meet her. 

[South Austin 52507]

2 minutes ago, Sandman said:

I would have applied myself in HS and gone to college. Not going to college is probably my biggest regrets. I joined the Marine Corps instead and I wouldn't do that again, I'd go into the USAF like my dad suggested. He was in year 25 of his Air Force career and strongly recommended that I go that route instead of the Marines. I figured I knew better than he and made a huge mistake. He never said "I told you so", and I'll always love him for that. 

Curious as to why the USAF over the Marines.  I ask that having a friend who served in the Air Force as an intelligence officer and he parlayed that into pretty damn good work in the corporate world.  But I have personal affection toward the Marines (see above post).

[Patricio Swayze 17058]

Hell, if I could go back to last August I wouldn’t have taken this fucking job. Don’t know what the hell I was thinking.

[Sandman 3403]

6 minutes ago, South Austin said:

Curious as to why the USAF over the Marines.  I ask that having a friend who served in the Air Force as an intelligence officer and he parlayed that into pretty damn good work in the corporate world.  But I have personal affection toward the Marines (see above post).

Dad knew the Air Force, front to back. I (now) trust his opinion on it. My USMC career ended very, very early due to injury and I feel like I could have avoided that in the Air Force. But 19 year old fucksticks don't think that way, all they know is the Marines are tough and badass, Airmen are dorks and losers. Who's the loser now? Spoiler: It's me.

[Guest Lobo]

Are we talking more like "fork-in-the-road" moments?  Or just general regrets?  I'm reading some stuff about saving 5% more or studying harder.  I mean yeah, obviously that shit has a nice cumulative effect later in life.  It's just maths.  But it's those junctures you come to, and you go one way and in an instant-your life is changed forever.  That's what I'd like to get into here, but I understand if people are reluctant.  In 2005, mistakes were made and I could have ended up in a Mexican prison.  Instead, a decade later the Mexican SRE (their Dept. of State) named me to head up their cross-border pro-business/pro-education initiative with Texas.  That's the shit, I'm glad I can't do over again because it worked out in my favor.  Other things, yeah in an instant-I chose poorly and wish I could go back.  

[South Austin 52507]

4 minutes ago, Sandman said:

Dad knew the Air Force, front to back. I (now) trust his opinion on it. My USMC career ended very, very early due to injury and I feel like I could have avoided that in the Air Force. But 19 year old fucksticks don't think that way, all they know is the Marines are tough and badass, Airmen are dorks and losers. Who's the loser now? Spoiler: It's me.

[ztejas 43449]

I regret being a disgrace to my family and its proud naval tradition. 

[Nueces River Rat 5539]

57 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Are we talking more like "fork-in-the-road" moments?  Or just general regrets?  I'm reading some stuff about saving 5% more or studying harder.  I mean yeah, obviously that shit has a nice cumulative effect later in life.  It's just maths.  But it's those junctures you come to, and you go one way and in an instant-your life is changed forever.  That's what I'd like to get into here, but I understand if people are reluctant.  In 2005, mistakes were made and I could have ended up in a Mexican prison.  Instead, a decade later the Mexican SRE (their Dept. of State) named me to head up their cross-border pro-business/pro-education initiative with Texas.  That's the shit, I'm glad I can't do over again because it worked out in my favor.  Other things, yeah in an instant-I chose poorly and wish I could go back.  

I'm sure most have a moment or two for which if they could go back in time in  a DeLorean,  we might entertain the chance to do so.   You are correct with the " better with the maths"  sort of thing may or may not had the positive effect down the road.  But even with  life events,  I have to question if changing them would have been beneficial or not down the road.  For example, I really liked  this one chic back in high school,  but  in the end things didn't quite workout.  I had friends telling me then to give it up but I wouldn't listen and their rationale was because she was couple of years older than me, she won't give you the time of day once she goes out of town for pharmacy school  after finishing her basics at the local college( they were pretty much correct) .    I tell myself at times  that my one of my DeLorean moments would have to be to  go back and not even go  down that road and just remain a free agent waiting for the right gal  which would have freed up my cash flow for one and more time partying in Mexico LOL ( I grew up on the border in the 80's when it was "safe").   But then again I think about it deeply and if I didn't go through the process of having my heart broken and then going through the wilderness thinking I'd never find the right gal,  I probably wouldn't have met the gal I am married to today.  

In retrospect, I'd think I'd use those rides in a DeLorean to tell my mom and dad how much they meant  to me and not just before they died, but on a daily basis.   That's the stuff that bites at me because they both died ( Dad when I was 8 and Mom when I was 21)  when I was much younger, thus I didn't have the maturity express myself in such a matter nor the life experiences to appreciate them. But crap, I regret at times during my teenage years where I was a total ass with my mom and if I could correct that, I would  in a heartbeat. 

 

Edited May 13, 2019 by Nueces River Rat

[TexasBeta 1261]

Your mom. 

This of course is the correct answer.

[RDCanecutter 26443]

23 hours ago, pops said:

Assuming you had a chance to go back to your 20 year old self and talk to him for an hour what would you say?

Well, no matter what I tell him, there's a good chance that if my 20-year-old self changes anything, he (and I) will be dead now.

So if I'm back in his time, I guess I drive past his house without stopping, and go buy a bunch of Apple stock, collectible widgets, maybe bet on the next Superbowl.

[El Diablo 4232]

1 hour ago, Patricio Swayze said:

Hell, if I could go back to last August I wouldn’t have taken this fucking job. Don’t know what the hell I was thinking.

4 day work week, bro. That's what you were thinking.

[horn4life 3760]

I honestly wish I would have been kinder to the girls/women that fell in love with me in high school and college.  I was never dishonest, was never telling them I love them just to bed them, but I could have been kinder. I was honest, "let's have a great time and if you want to sleep with me great, if you don't, we won't be dating long" was what they knew they were getting into. Of course ironically God gave me two daughters, and Lord knows I deserved them.

Should have become Dell employeee 128, but a big part of me thinks I would have plenty of cash, my wife would be long gone, and my kids would be fucked up.  I am very happy with my wife of 33 years and my lovely daughters (no pics you scumbags).

[Apep 645]

I probably wouldn't since my son was born when I was 24 and I have no idea if this is a divergent timeline or not. But, in the past, I've thought about this kind of situation way too much for a normal person, (but only along the lines of a one-way, Days of Future Past trip to my younger body), so I'll play along.  Because my parents redshirted me in kindergarten, I was a sophomore at TCU when I was 20.

1. You can recover from your less-than-stellar freshman year, you just need to learn how to study and how to write. You can best learn the latter by reading as many Bryan Garner books as possible and taking the advice to heart. The former is best achieved by doing your assignments as soon as possible and using the syllabus to get ahead. Use your knowledge of later course work to formulate questions for class and office hours. Learn the Pomodoro technique for regular studying. Yes, that's P-O-M-O-D-O-R-O.

2. Drinking is largely a waste of money, though scotch can be very nice. Don't bring alcohol to girls, especially underage ones, hoping to get some. You don't need it. If she needs it to fuck you, she's not really into you. You won't lose anything by not fucking her. And avoid drunk girls. Having a clean record and conscience in 20 years is worth it. Why? Think Anita Hill and Clarence Thomas but worse.

3. Don't take German and prob & stats with (blonde girl you've known for ever who, unbeknownst to you, is a newly enrolled freshman). Take Chinese and Calculus 3 with your buddy. Her ex transfers in next year and she is unavailable by the time you figure out she might have interest. Plus the study of vectors in Cal 3 sets you up for a better time in prob & stats, mechanics, and electrostatics. Buy Div, Grad, Curl, and All That, since you suck at Cal 3. Take symbolic logic under math, not philosophy to help fill out your hours for the math double major.

4. You're not fat, just a little overweight and out-of-shape. Here's how you cook and eat. (Ten minute digression.) Here's how you work out. (Another 10 minute digression.)

5. Following up on the last issue, you have a disproportionately long torso and wide feet. (Five minutes explaining clothing and shoe sizes and what actually looks good on you.)

6. (Ten minutes explaining various health, physical and mental, issues and maladies.)

7. (Ten minutes naming names.) Your future wife is X. She's at school at Y. She'll get a job at Z school after school.

8. (Ten minutes talking about career and academic interests and goals.)

[Kennythetiger 9383]

9 hours ago, Baboontyme said:

I would have dropped out of college and become a carnie. I'd have to start from the bottom but the goal would be the Tilt-a-whirl. 

Your job, it fuckin' sucks.

[immortal13 4059]

Not clicked on this thread

[Dbeasy 15051]

When Michael asked me to drop out with him and start a computer company, I should have said yes.

[South Austin 52507]

18 minutes ago, Dbeasy said:

When Michael asked me to drop out with him and start a computer company, I should have said yes.

Yeah, but you have more rep on Surly than he does.