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This goddamn motherfucking iphone and it's piece of shit autocorrect

Goo Punch

By Goo Punch
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Goo Punch

Goo Punch 4,275

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I wish death upon the people responsible for this. A pox upon everyone they love. May their children, and their children's children, and on and on for the next 500 generations all be born with incurable dyslexia. Fucking Christ it is amazing to me that they can literally track and record millions upon millions of texts, emails, and posts and STILL think that I want the follow auto corrections:

every single time i type the world talk this faggot piece of shit device changes it to "y'all" as shown here:

 

d380ba4fbcc4d9329a92e39b4bc3b2db.jpg

 

every singke god damn time i type the world "clip" it changes to fucking "clío" whatever the fuck that is. see again right here:

 

2f380c72bfd9f521e1adec44e61f3c94.jpg

 

every singke goddamn time i type the word "named" it changes it to "mamés". WHY.

oh and have we noticed how it DOESNT autocorrect the word "singke" to "single"???

 

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with this shit. I even went into my goddamn keyboard and told it to use "talk" T-A-L-K as a shortcut for "talk", and it STILL changes that shit to "y'all"!

Fuck everyone responsible for this. It is the bane of my existence. I don't even have a computer. every single loquacious, verbose, interminable post i've ever made on surly has been posted from my iphone. so yeah. this shit is an epic fucking pain in my ass. 

 

 

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Goo Punch

Goo Punch 4,275

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the stupid thing also habitually "auto corrects" a correctly used present tense word into a past tense word and vice versa. If I try to type, "Matt Coleman scored 16 points", this fucking POS decides that it needs to "auto correct" a correctly spelled/used word for zero goddamn reason. See her for the fifth fucking time:

 

55da4aaf5a5537851efb12226c43ebbe.jpg

 

That's the most pathetic aspect of all of this-it's so fucking consistent and predictable that i can rely on it happening as i'm typing these sentences out; it's infuriating. Whoever programmed this shit is either a water head retard or an evil person, and either way i say we throw em in the river.

Edited by Goo Punch
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Amorello.  I did not even know this was a word...

 

Now,  I have 'auto-correct' turned off because it makes me ragey as hell, but the voice text is just as bad.   It also claims that the phone will somewhat 'learn' your dialect.  There are words unique to my industry that i use every day and I still have to go back and correct them.

My kids laugh at my disdain for this bullshit.  I am not scared of technology.  I leverage it in many ways and it has improved the quality of my job many times over.  However, I am not impressed with bells & whistles that repeatedly fuck up and clutter your processes with having to go do the same corrections and fixes.

If you're gonna put some Ferrari shit on my phone/ IPAD, it had better work, motherfuckers.  That's all I ask.

Edited by slorch
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Blotto

Blotto 23,559

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6 hours ago, Goo Punch said:

I don't even have a computer. every single loquacious, verbose, interminable post i've ever made on surly has been posted from my iphone.

Holy shit.

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clapclapclap

clapclapclap 9,000

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Lulz at those who didn't pay attention in school and now can't turn off autocorrect, the idiots' insulin.

 

4 hours ago, Goo Punch said:

the stupid thing also habitually "auto corrects" a correctly used present tense word into a past tense word and vice versa.  

Did it fail to autocorrect "auto corrects"?  Or were you talking about body shops or collision avoidance systems?

Edited by clapclapclap
Rosebud
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Goo Punch

Goo Punch 4,275

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1 hour ago, TexArcher said:

Can you really not turn autocorrect off on an iPhone?

Also, why didn't you buy an Android like a man?

each of my thumbs is big enough to cover half the keyboard, and i don't have particularly large hands. turning off autocorrect just brings a different type of retarded madness. 

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Dolemite

Dolemite 143

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On 5/25/2019 at 1:49 AM, Goo Punch said:

I wish death upon the people responsible for this. A pox upon everyone they love. May their children, and their children's children, and on and on for the next 500 generations all be born with incurable dyslexia. Fucking Christ it is amazing to me that they can literally track and record millions upon millions of texts, emails, and posts and STILL think that I want the follow auto corrections:

every single time i type the world talk this faggot piece of shit device changes it to "y'all" as shown here:

 

d380ba4fbcc4d9329a92e39b4bc3b2db.jpg

 

every singke god damn time i type the world "clip" it changes to fucking "clío" whatever the fuck that is. see again right here:

 

2f380c72bfd9f521e1adec44e61f3c94.jpg

 

every singke goddamn time i type the word "named" it changes it to "mamés". WHY.

oh and have we noticed how it DOESNT autocorrect the word "singke" to "single"???

 

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with this shit. I even went into my goddamn keyboard and told it to use "talk" T-A-L-K as a shortcut for "talk", and it STILL changes that shit to "y'all"!

Fuck everyone responsible for this. It is the bane of my existence. I don't even have a computer. every single loquacious, verbose, interminable post i've ever made on surly has been posted from my iphone. so yeah. this shit is an epic fucking pain in my ass. 

 

 

Try using GBoard. Glide typing works great once you get used to it. 

https://support.google.com/gboard/answer/6380730?co=GENIE.Platform%3DiOS&hl=en

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5 hours ago, futureman said:

nobody gives a shit about formula 1 you stupid prick. 

I thought it was a pretty good shot...at nobody but certain racing fans.

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Armybrat

Armybrat 40,851

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On 5/26/2019 at 9:36 PM, SDG said:

Just turn off the “predictive” setting and it will still check spelling etc.   

Thank you!

Found that on both my iPad and iPhone.

My chances of another stroke just declined by at least 50%.... and fewer expletives will be uttered. 

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