Ouchies

[bernorange 8385]

Hello aloe vera, my old friend
I've come to rub on you again
Because a sunburn softly, creeping
Left its marks while I was outdoors drinking
And my hammock, that was parked in tree shade... still sways
Within the hail of UV light

[South Austin 53220]

I once tried to masturbate using aloe vera. Do not recommend.

[SquishMitten 10496]

You’ve gotta cut the thorns off first

[South Austin 53220]

Things I wish I had known . . . .

[Ten Bears 2500]

I jerked it once after cutting up shitload of jalapenos for salsa and forgetting to wash my hands.  One of the worse pains of my life.  I puked.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

1 minute ago, Ten Bears said:

I jerked it once after cutting up shitload of jalapenos for salsa and forgetting to wash my hands.  One of the worse pains of my life.  I puked.

Sounds like how you make salsa in aggyland, actually. 

[Ten Bears 2500]

Aaand I just puked again.

[SquishMitten 10496]

4 hours ago, Ten Bears said:

I jerked it once after cutting up shitload of jalapenos for salsa and forgetting to wash my hands.  One of the worse pains of my life.  I puked.

Pussy

[DoobieWah 1535]

On 5/26/2019 at 5:07 PM, Ten Bears said:

I jerked it once after cutting up shitload of jalapenos for salsa and forgetting to wash my hands.  One of the worse pains of my life.  I puked.

 

You've given more eloquent speeches.

[Armybrat 41388]

Sumbitches will probably start putting fern plants in the restaurants  and sprouts on the burgers

[Armybrat 41388]

2 hours ago, Armybrat said:

Sumbitches will probably start putting fern plants in the restaurants  and sprouts on the burgers

Gottdamnit, that was supposed to go in the Whataburger sold to Chicago yankees thread in the Daily Texan forum.

[TKthunder2 5059]

On 5/26/2019 at 5:07 PM, Ten Bears said:

I jerked it once after cutting up shitload of jalapenos for salsa and forgetting to wash my hands.  One of the worse pains of my life.  I puked.

Once fingered a girl after eating a bunch of well seasoned crawfish.  She did not enjoy it.