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Yoga Chick Lost in Hawaii -- Story Seems Off

MaybeACoordinator

By MaybeACoordinator
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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28788

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, conVINCEd said:

Is weed legal in Hawaii?  Those edibles will fuck you up the first time you try them.

A drug experience gone wrong would be a plausible explanation. And a pretty simple one. 

Was she born in Hawaii? Or was she born on the mainland but moved to Hawaii to teach yoga. There are a lot of hippies who've moved to Hawaii.

As for leaving her cell phone in the car, how is the cell reception in the park? As for the size of the park, topography and tree cover have to be considered. When did she fall into the ravine? Once a woman is off the trail, I don't find it implausible that she'd struggle to find her way back. As for leaving her water bottle in the car, I'm unaware of a rule that states no one may own more than one bottle of water. 

I'm struggling to find a motive on her part if it was a hoax. If it was for internet fame then she would've taken her phone so she could take pics to post to Facebook and Instagram. If it was for a book or movie deal, have they even made a movie yet about those Thai kids who were trapped in a flooded cave? Her story isn't that interesting. I didn't even know she was lost until after she was found. If her story captured the nation while she was lost then I totally missed it. 

I just can't see her gaining from this at all. If it was a hoax then it was horribly timed. Getting rescued on Friday of Memorial Day weekend? Not the best way to get publicity. Who's talking about her at cookouts in backyards around the nation today? If she was alone in perpetrating her hoax then it looks like she may be lucky to be alive and probably didn't intend to be lost and injured for so long. If there was any kind of conspiracy then someone is going to have to give me a plausible who, what, when, where, why, and how because I'm not seeing it.

It seems to me like her story will be out of the news cycle tomorrow and we'll never hear about her again. Maybe I'm biased by my own disinterest. 

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clapclapclap

clapclapclap 9000

Posted
Posted (edited)
12 hours ago, CooterBrown said:

I thought the story was off. Among all the weirdness, she lost her shoes two days in and didn’t know what happened to them. How is that even possible.

She was high as a kite when she lost them?  Did she start out hunting mushrooms?

 

 

14 hours ago, El Diablo said:

Either way it's probably best that she wasn't on a sailboat.

Yeah, the A&M Estrogen Navy hasn't had much success in Hawaii.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5063707/Bungling-yachtswoman-kinky-sailor-dominatrix.html

 

 

42 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

You couldn’t get lost in here if you tried  

https://metro.co.uk/2016/07/15/women-stranded-all-night-on-a-tubing-trip-after-believing-the-river-they-were-on-ran-in-a-circle-6008346/

Edited by clapclapclap
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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

Posted
Posted

There's no movie here.  Maybe a vine video or a youtube channel, but no movie.  

At best, a young Ann Jillian could play her on the Lifetime mini-series, "The Forest for the Trees:  One Brave Woman's Search for Herself."  

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MaybeACoordinator

MaybeACoordinator 8349

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1 hour ago, Red Five said:

Are we sure she was inside that reserve the entire time? There's miles of more forest to the east until you hit the ocean. 

Yeah, I read that she was found about four miles deep into the woods outside of the park, which explains in part why she was ten miles away from where the cops gave up looking for her.

She didn't hurt her legs until day three or four. She says he shoes and socks were swept away by a flood. 

1. I don't know why she would fake this, really.

2. However, her story does not add up, at all. Even if she managed to wander off that deep in the woods, certainly she would have heard the choppers overhead and been able to find her way to a clearing or something. And it seems almost equally likely that at least one search party would have come within earshot over the course of 17 days.

3. How she eluded the dogs is another puzzler. Maybe Hawaiians suck at training bloodhounds. 

4. Speculation: drug experience gone awry....Boyfriend / outside dick / chick drama...she wanted to focus the positive energy of Maui on herself...(shrug emoji)

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Nivek

Nivek 16945

Posted
Posted
There's no movie here.  Maybe a vine video or a youtube channel, but no movie.  
At best, a young Ann Jillian could play her on the Lifetime mini-series, "The Forest for the Trees:  One Brave Woman's Search for Herself."  

Can Steve Guttenberg co-star?
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Onboard 2.0

Onboard 2.0 9083

Posted
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20 minutes ago, Lobo said:

There's no movie here.  Maybe a vine video or a youtube channel, but no movie.  

At best, a young Ann Jillian could play her on the Lifetime mini-series, "The Forest for the Trees:  One Brave Woman's Search for Herself."  

I'm calling BS.  She goes for a hike, hears a strange ethereal voice calling to her from the teees.  

She wanders off the trail, and stumbles into a long lost, vine obscured cave.

 In this cave she finds an old Hawaiian stone figure on a necklace.  She slips the necklace around her neck, and she's  suddenly having a round of really bad luck (17 days in the jungle) Seems line an original  movie treatment.. she can call the figurine Wilson or something like that.

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Deej

Deej 76835

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9 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

I'm calling BS.  She goes for a hike, hears a strange ethereal voice calling to her from the teees.  

She wanders off the trail, and stumbles into a long lost, vine obscured cave.

 In this cave she finds an old Hawaiian stone figure on a necklace.  She slips the necklace around her neck, and she's  suddenly having a round of really bad luck (17 days in the jungle) Seems line an original  movie treatment.. she can call the figurine Wilson or something like that.

Was she trying to find George Glass?

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Pato del Muerto

Pato del Muerto 52529

Posted
Posted
30 minutes ago, MaybeACoordinator said:

Yeah, I read that she was found about four miles deep into the woods outside of the park, which explains in part why she was ten miles away from where the cops gave up looking for her.

She didn't hurt her legs until day three or four. She says he shoes and socks were swept away by a flood. 

1. I don't know why she would fake this, really.

2. However, her story does not add up, at all. Even if she managed to wander off that deep in the woods, certainly she would have heard the choppers overhead and been able to find her way to a clearing or something. And it seems almost equally likely that at least one search party would have come within earshot over the course of 17 days.

3. How she eluded the dogs is another puzzler. Maybe Hawaiians suck at training bloodhounds. 

4. Speculation: drug experience gone awry....Boyfriend / outside dick / chick drama...she wanted to focus the positive energy of Maui on herself...(shrug emoji)

Ok well my assumption that a reserve would have boundary fencing was wrong. 

So then I’ll say leave it to a woman to choose the only direction that wouldn’t lead to a path or road. Because of her amazing gut instinct. 

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Deej

Deej 76835

Posted
Posted (edited)
17 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Ok well my assumption that a reserve would have boundary fencing was wrong. 

So then I’ll say leave it to a woman to choose the only direction that wouldn’t lead to a path or road. Because of her amazing gut instinct. 

george costanza ladies GIF

"If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right."

Edited by Deej
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Dbeasy

Dbeasy 15071

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2000 acres is really small. If it were a square, it would be approximately 9500 ft by 9500 ft.  That is a square less than two miles in both directions. The park looks like a rectangle, so maybe it is 3 miles by 1 mile. Seems impossible to get lost in that small of a size, even if you get injured. You can easily find a trail and sit on it until someone comes by. Or yell. Or walk out.

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futureman

futureman 22488

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5 minutes ago, Dbeasy said:

2000 acres is really small. If it were a square, it would be approximately 9500 ft by 9500 ft.  That is a square less than two miles in both directions. The park looks like a rectangle, so maybe it is 3 miles by 1 mile. Seems impossible to get lost in that small of a size, even if you get injured. You can easily find a trail and sit on it until someone comes by. Or yell. Or walk out.

but if she walks out on day one she can’t be on good morning america.  did you think about that?

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pops

pops 7004

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Another thing.... After looking at where this is on the map, she was up above the airport. She would have seen planes going in and out all day. Walk that direction. 

I don't see any angle to fake it and maybe she got disoriented then had a panic attack or something and her brain got weird on her. 

But where that seems to be located it seems pretty simple. Up is bad, down is good. 

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Pato del Muerto

Pato del Muerto 52529

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34 minutes ago, Dbeasy said:

2000 acres is really small. If it were a square, it would be approximately 9500 ft by 9500 ft.  That is a square less than two miles in both directions. The park looks like a rectangle, so maybe it is 3 miles by 1 mile. Seems impossible to get lost in that small of a size, even if you get injured. You can easily find a trail and sit on it until someone comes by. Or yell. Or walk out.

Apparently she walked/crawled past the park boundary, which is only a line on a map, and into the vegetation surrounding it. 

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NotActuallyALonghorn

NotActuallyALonghorn 4976

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Posted

Yeah, it's not all that uncommon to find women lost in the woods less than 100 yards from the trail. Some people just have no business being in the woods. Wasn't there a chick who got lost and died or something just barely off the Appalachian trail after she went off trail to take a dump not that long ago. It's easy to overestimate the skills of completely clueless people in the woods.

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hayden_horn

hayden_horn 11362

Posted
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10 minutes ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

Yeah, it's not all that uncommon to find women lost in the woods less than 100 yards from the trail. Some people just have no business being in the woods. Wasn't there a chick who got lost and died or something just barely off the Appalachian trail after she went off trail to take a dump not that long ago. It's easy to overestimate the skills of completely clueless people in the woods.

i mean, we periodically have people lost in the greenbelt in austin. you walk that creekbed, and you'll find mopac.

people are dumbasses.

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Deej

Deej 76835

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Posted
Yeah, it's not all that uncommon to find women lost in the woods less than 100 yards from the trail. Some people just have no business being in the woods. Wasn't there a chick who got lost and died or something just barely off the Appalachian trail after she went off trail to take a dump not that long ago. It's easy to overestimate the skills of completely clueless people in the woods.
Ain't just women. Dumbassery knows no boundries.

56cfded96ad0281f104d714cbf721ea9.jpg
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Pato del Muerto

Pato del Muerto 52529

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3 minutes ago, futureman said:

define periodically. 

 
 
 
 
pe·ri·od·i·cal·ly
/ˌpirēˈädək(ə)lē/
adverb
  1. from time to time; occasionally.
    "I will periodically check on your progress"
    • at regularly occurring intervals.
      "the newsletter is sent out periodically to update members"
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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Posted
49 minutes ago, Deej said:

Ain't just women. Dumbassery knows no boundries.

56cfded96ad0281f104d714cbf721ea9.jpg

You delete your post right now!  He is a goddamn national treasure.  Not sure what was bigger, his nature-loving largess, his arrogance, or his selfishness.  

White people's ability to invent "obstacles" for themselves, including Chris, is beyond reproach.  I am saddened that he died in pain, and alone, and likely with some regret.  And I am sorry that even if this was planned, there was a time over 17 days that this woman was very likely in fear and in pain.  But we gotta quit giving out likes, medals, and movie deals to people that do shit to themselves.  If you don't know what you're doing out there, hang the fuck back.  

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Lhorn

Lhorn 4916

Posted
Posted (edited)
5 hours ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

She’s either lying or is amazingly stupid.

This is where I’m at. Either a stunt or she is astoundingly incompetent/too stupid to live. I’ve got it at 2:1 odds respectively.

 

Its actually a pretty amazing story. That she managed to get lost on a small, frequently traveled plot of land heavily laced with trails, lose her shoes, do 100% the wrong thing 100% of the time and evade a search party for more than 2 weeks is quite a triumph of dumbassery.  

Edited by Lhorn
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NorthLoop

NorthLoop 14216

Posted
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3 hours ago, Bigbend1812 said:

What?

 

3 hours ago, Agent 13 said:

I've been waiting for this reaction. Quite overdue indeed. 

Meniscus tear isn't that painful. Fractured leg is way different than a broken leg. Please provide your counterpoint. 

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TwiceHorn

TwiceHorn 31501

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Medically, there's no difference between a "break" and a "fracture."  There are certain types of fracture (greenstick, non-displaced) that would be less painful and debilitating than a displaced fracture, but without the adjectives, there's no difference. A break is a fracture is a break.

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MaybeACoordinator

MaybeACoordinator 8349

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7 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Ok well my assumption that a reserve would have boundary fencing was wrong. 

So then I’ll say leave it to a woman to choose the only direction that wouldn’t lead to a path or road. Because of her amazing gut instinct. 

Literally every Hawaiian knows that if you are lost you just head downhill. No matter where you are on Maui, or any other island, if you just head downhill, you will hit a road or the beach in a few hours. Yes, it's harder going in some places than others, but Maui is not the Big Island size-wise or Kauai in terms of wilderness....So...17 freaking days?

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