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Posted

Outstanding article from this week's issue of The Economist.

 

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Posted
  On 6/13/2019 at 4:52 PM, SimonBolivar said:

As someone who was raised in the Southern Baptist Church...that's a shame.

 

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My dad is still a hardcore fundamentalist "evangelical" southern baptist. Growing up and finally leaving, it really soured me on just all christianity as a whole.

  • Like 3
Posted
  On 6/13/2019 at 5:09 PM, GSU&UT said:

My dad is still a hardcore fundamentalist "evangelical" southern baptist. Growing up and finally leaving, it really soured me on just all christianity as a whole.

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I grew up catholic.  I feel your pain, only not as much since we can drink, and I did, a lot, especially lately.  Thought and prayer,s I guess?

Posted
  On 6/13/2019 at 5:15 PM, Jiggy-Z said:

I grew up catholic.  I feel your pain, only not as much since we can drink, and I did, a lot, especially lately.  Thought and prayer,s I guess?

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Of course my dad drank too like all hypocritical Southern Baptists, but didn't drink to excess. I guess it's a very old joke, but the funniest joke I read on Shaggy was,

 

Why should you always take two Baptists fishing?

If you take just one Baptist, he'll drink all your beer

  • Like 3
Posted (edited)
  On 6/13/2019 at 5:09 PM, GSU&UT said:

My dad is still a hardcore fundamentalist "evangelical" southern baptist. Growing up and finally leaving, it really soured me on just all christianity as a whole.

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I bet if I put you in a room with drop ceilings, AC on high, the smell of new carpet, and then cranked up the first verse  of "Old Rugged Cross," that you'd shed a tear and ask where the deviled eggs are.

Edited by RDCanecutter
  • Like 6
  • Haha 1
Posted
  On 6/13/2019 at 5:18 PM, GSU&UT said:

Of course my dad drank too like all hypocritical Southern Baptists, but didn't drink to excess. I guess it's a very old joke, but the funniest joke I read on Shaggy was,

 

Why should you always take two Baptists fishing?

If you take just one Baptist, he'll drink all your beer

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My favorite along this line is what’s the difference between a Methodist and a Baptist?

The Methodist will speak to you in the liquor store.

  • Like 1
Posted
  On 6/13/2019 at 5:44 PM, RDCanecutter said:

I bet if I put you in a room with drop ceilings, AC on high, the smell of new carpet, and then cranked up the first verse  of "Old Rugged Cross," that you'd shed a tear and ask where the deviled eggs are.

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You need some help moving those chairs?

  • Like 1
Posted
  On 6/13/2019 at 5:44 PM, RDCanecutter said:

I bet if I put you in a room with drop ceilings, AC on high, the smell of new carpet, and then cranked up the first verse  of "Old Rugged Cross," that you'd shed a tear and ask where the deviled eggs are.

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Replace "Old Rugged Cross" with "Victory in Jesus" and add in the smell of people over 75 and you got it exactly right.

  • Like 1
Posted
  On 6/13/2019 at 6:30 PM, SimonBolivar said:

Replace "Old Rugged Cross" with "Victory in Jesus" and add in the smell of people over 75 and you got it exactly right.

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Well this went down a rabbit hole. I looked up "Victory in Jesus" to see when it was written and I saw that the guy that wrote it was a minister and so was his son, but his grandson went in a different direction in life.

 

https://www.news9.com/story/13816111/bethany-police-man-snapped-before-attacking-killing-wife

 

  Quote

Jennifer Pierce, News 9

BETHANY, Oklahoma -- The Bethany Police Department has released graphic information relating to the murder of a Bethany woman. The police chief, Phil Cole, said Reginald Bartlett, the woman's husband, confessed to the crime.

Police responded to 7600 N.W. 25th Street Saturday night where Cathy Jane Bartlett was found stabbed to death inside the couple's home. The woman was laying face up on the floor with her legs spread open. Her shirt was pulled up over her breasts and she was nude from the breasts down. She had numerous stab wounds to her face, upper chest, abdomen and vaginal area. Her panties and jeans were lying beside her in a pile, along with her leg brace.

Police said it appeared Cathy had been sexually assaulted.

Bartlett told police he staged the alleged murder to look like a home invasion.

In an arrest affidavit, Reginald stated he was a sick individual and was addicted to pornography. He stated, Cathy came into the computer room and confronted him about the pornography and a bank statement in which she thought Bartlett was purchasing pornography. Reginald stated Cathy slapped him on the side of the head and that is when he "snapped" and grabbed a knife and began stabbing her. After the attack, he left the home and went to a basketball game at Southern Nazarene University.

Bartlett now faces second-degree murder charges.

Chief Cole said this is one of the more serious domestic related crimes he has seen in Bethany.

Bartlett serves as a supervisor at the Bethany Water Treatment plant, where he has been employed for more than 20 years.

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Posted
  On 6/13/2019 at 6:18 PM, formermav43 said:

My favorite along this line is what’s the difference between a Methodist and a Baptist?

The Methodist will speak to you in the liquor store.

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Methodists drink on the front porch and Baptists drink on the back porch.

 

Posted (edited)
  On 6/13/2019 at 5:44 PM, RDCanecutter said:

I bet if I put you in a room with drop ceilings, AC on high, the smell of new carpet, and then cranked up the first verse  of "Old Rugged Cross," that you'd shed a tear and ask where the deviled eggs are.

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I love a good hymnal. The little church in the vale always gets me. And yes please pass the deviled eggs.

Edited by Onboard 2.0
Posted
  On 6/13/2019 at 6:30 PM, SimonBolivar said:

Replace "Old Rugged Cross" with "Victory in Jesus" and add in the smell of people over 75 and you got it exactly right.

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A bald-headed old man at Baptist youth camp in or near Selma Alabama shouted at the end of "Old Rugged Cross": "If you don't know that song, you ain't a Baptist!"

 

So I will

Fix

Bayonets.

Posted
  On 6/13/2019 at 7:09 PM, Onboard 2.0 said:

I love a good hymnal.

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Yep. Good ol' hymnal or nothing. If you're singing Contemporary Crap with everybody staring at the projected lyrics with THEIR DAMN ARMS UP IN THE AIR, well, son, you might as well put on a goat mask and drink infant's blood.

  • Like 2
Posted
  On 6/13/2019 at 7:58 PM, RDCanecutter said:

Yep. Good ol' hymnal or nothing. If you're singing Contemporary Crap with everybody staring at the projected lyrics with THEIR DAMN ARMS UP IN THE AIR, well, son, you might as well put on a goat mask and drink infant's blood.

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41HxCluMw6L._SX326_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

  • Like 2
Posted
  On 6/13/2019 at 7:58 PM, RDCanecutter said:

Yep. Good ol' hymnal or nothing. If you're singing Contemporary Crap with everybody staring at the projected lyrics with THEIR DAMN ARMS UP IN THE AIR, well, son, you might as well put on a goat mask and drink infant's blood.

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I hate the projections on the walls without the music score to read.  Most people have no idea how to sing the song. Gimme a damned hymnal !!

Posted
  On 6/13/2019 at 8:11 PM, Zepol87 said:

Is it an old thing? I am not getting any of these references

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We need you to be translator the next time we get American teens who don't know how to build houses to go to Mexico to build houses for people who probably know how to build houses already.

  • Like 3
Posted
  On 6/13/2019 at 8:29 PM, SimonBolivar said:

Watch out for that fiddle boy. You don't wanna end up in hell.

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I was farmed off to a Church of Christ Bible School thing one summer when my mom needed a break from my Bart Simpson ass. It was usual kool-aid, cookies, and crayons. The main thing I remember was the lady explaining why they didn't play instruments and I said "Well, that sounds stupid." Then maybe the same day she said we should pray for peace in the Middle East, and I said we didn't need to because the Israelis had just beaten the britches off the Arabs and they'd do it again if they needed to.

I don't remember going back there the next summer.

  • Like 1
Posted
  Quote

Ronald Reagan as he uttered the line that sealed the bond between Republicans and the religious right: “I know you can’t endorse me, but I endorse you.”

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Can someone provide some context there?  Was there at one time some prohibition against SBC endorsing candidates? 

Posted
  On 6/13/2019 at 8:54 PM, Chad Fuck said:

That's the line that pieces of shit like Jeffress toe.  

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Exactly who I was thinking of.  And if it's a congregational church, what is the church, exactly?  And if it's a semi-congregational church, like a Baptist church (that appoints its own pastor), what is the church?

Posted

Baptists serve bland food at their potlucks.

So do Presbyterians and Methodists, generally speaking.

Catholics always have booze.  The food can be pretty good, if it's a heavily hispanic congregation.

But for the best grub.....man, spend a Sunday at an A.M.E. church.  

Theologically speaking, I mostly judge the denominations by the quality of their potlucks and the attractiveness of my pew-mates.  It may not be the most theologically sound approach, but it works for me.

Posted
  On 6/13/2019 at 9:01 PM, TwiceHorn said:

Exactly who I was thinking of.  And if it's a congregational church, what is the church, exactly?  And if it's a semi-congregational church, like a Baptist church (that appoints its own pastor), what is the church?

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The elders, at least for us.

Posted
  On 6/13/2019 at 8:35 PM, David Dennison said:

All of you heretics better get your shit together.

Signed,

The Roman Catholic Church

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My spiritual journey in the Catholic Church started and ended that year I was chasing after the Polish girl who sang in the folk mass. I joined up as a guitar player. Fond memories of standing up there in front, playing A Minor and staring at the Polish girl's butt.

Then the Lord saw fit to set a big-titty Presbyterian girl in my path who was DTF. I did not react as Onan.

Posted
  On 6/13/2019 at 9:43 PM, RDCanecutter said:

My spiritual journey in the Catholic Church started and ended that year I was chasing after the Polish girl who sang in the folk mass. I joined up as a guitar player. Fond memories of standing up there in front, playing A Minor and staring at the Polish girl's butt.

Then the Lord saw fit to set a big-titty Presbyterian girl in my path who was DTF. I did not react as Onan.

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There are two kinds of liars.  

Those who say they don't. 

And those who say they quit.



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