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Posted

Yeah, but they were all bad. 

May I have 10,000 marbles, please?

 

This is for Ladies...

So is this, ma’am.  But sometimes I have to run a little water through it. 

 

Posted

When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, looks you crooked in the eye, and asks you if you paid your dues; you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: 'Have you paid your dues, Jack? Yes sir, the check is in the mail.”

 “Let me explain something to you. Um, I am not “Mr. Lebowski”. You’re Mr. Lebowski. I’m the Dude. So that’s what you call me. You know, that or, uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you’re not into the whole brevity thing.”

“That rug really tied the room together.”

 

Posted

“My offer is this: nothing. Not even the $20,000 for the gaming license, which I would appreciate if you would put up personally.” 

 

You know, Dude, tomorrow is already the tenth.

Far out. 

If you could, just slide the rent under my door.  

 

It was a funny angle.

it was behind you, Tyrone.  Whenever you reverse, things come from behind you

 

It’s a deal.  It’s a steal,it’s the sale of the fuckin century.  you know what?  Fuck it, Nick, I think I’ll keep it. 

 

Not when you’ve got Liberia’s deficit in your skyrocket 

Posted

I think Alan Swann is beneath us. 

Of course he’s beneath us, he’s an actor. 

 

You sumbitches couldn’t close an umbrella. 

 

Who did you get in a fight with, Tanner?

The 7th grade. 

Posted

That looks like a penis only smaller

 

singing: Lawrence, Lawrence of Arabia. He's an English guy, he came to fight the Turkish

  • Like 1
Posted
14 hours ago, Trey3216 said:

It’s a deal.  It’s a steal,it’s the sale of the fuckin century.  you know what?  Fuck it, Nick, I think I’ll keep it. 

 

Not when you’ve got Liberia’s deficit in your skyrocket 

i love that whole scene.  figured you'd continue with, "what do you do when you're not buying stereos, nick, finance revolutions?"

Posted
11 minutes ago, henrygandorf said:

i love that whole scene.  figured you'd continue with, "what do you do when you're not buying stereos, nick, finance revolutions?"

Yeah, I could've gone on for sure.

 

Jeezus, Nick.  You could choke a dozen donkeys on that.  What do you do when you're not buying stereos, nick, finance revolutions?  

Posted

Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?

Eat...my...shorts!

What if your home, your family... What if your dope was on fire? 

Impossible, sir. It's in Johnson's underwear.

 

 

 

 

 

Posted

...So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consiousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.
 

Pool and pond,  a pond would be good for you

 

He's a Cinderella boy. Turns his eyes, I guess, as he lines up this last shot. He's got about 195 yards left. And he's got a...it looks like he's got a eight iron. This crowd has gone deadly silent, a Cinderella story outta nowhere. Former greenskeeper and now about to become the masters champion. ... He's on his final hole. He's about 455 yards away, he's gonna hit about a 2 iron I think ... it's in the hole!

 

 

Posted
2 hours ago, LonghornD said:

One of my favorite's, and it's kind of underrated, but it's from The Right Stuff...

 

"Sir. Over there. Is that a man?"

"Yeah, you're damned right it is."

right_stuff_3.jpg

I tell you, we got two categories of pilots around here. We got your prime pilots that get all the hot planes, and we got your pud-knockers who dream about getting the hot planes. Now what are you two pud-knockers gonna have?

Scotch.

  • Like 3
Posted

"It CAN get weirder!" --Peter Porker

"He should have armed himself before he decided to decorate his saloon with my friend." --Will Munny

"I can see you now, bending over a hot stove. But I can't see the stove." --Rufus T. Firefly

"You can never go home again, Oatman. But apparently, you can shop there." --Martin Blank

"Death therapy, Bob! Guaranteed cure!" --Dr. Leo Marvin

Posted

Requires the setup because who has seen Kuffs in the last 20 years

 

Unidentified Hood : It's a twelve-gauge pump, boys. He's only got three shots. They can't get us all! 

[He reaches for his gun, Ted blows him away] 

George Kuffs : [gestures to dead hood]  Well, now we know he can add... 

[gestures to Ted] 

George Kuffs : And he can subtract. So who wants to be next here?

Posted (edited)

"Why Richard, it profits a man nothing to give his soul for the whole world. . . but for Wales?"

Edited by Dutch
Posted
On 6/17/2019 at 7:50 PM, henrygandorf said:

an underrated line from an underrated movie:

"it's supposed to be hard that's why they call it a shortcut.  if it was easy it would just be the way."

I love this one and use it IRL all the time.  Sometimes I substitute "workaround" for "shortcut."  Everytime this movie comes on, I gotta stop flipping channels and watch it.  I mean...consider their ultimate destination.

 

Another one I use IRL all the time is:

Either he's alive or he's dead.  Or the cops got him, or he got away.

Used whenever some joker states obvious outcomes.

Posted

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.

Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?  Hell no!

Christ, seven years of college down the drain.  Might as well join the fucking peace corps.

 

Posted

From my favorite Western:

"When you have to shoot, shoot.  Don't talk."

"I've never seen so many men wasted so badly."

"There are two kinds of people in the world: those with guns and those that dig. You dig."

Posted

That's a Persian missile, Chet.  

I didn't think it was a whale's dick, honey.

 

Do you know where  you'd be without us, the good ole USA to protect you?  The smallest fucking province in the Russian empire!

 

Apes don't read philosophy.

Yes they do, Otto, they just don't understand it.

 

You're a real boring fuck.  I'm sorry, I know you disapprove of cursing, so I'll sort it out.  You're a boring F-star-star-cunt.

Posted

My most frequently quoted are:

“Hold on to your butts!”,

“...moose out front should’ve told you.”,

“Deserve’s got nothin to do with it.”

a lot of people, that's their story; good times, noodle salad. What makes it so hard is not that you had it bad, but that you're that pissed that so many others had it good.”

Posted

“I’ve got the old cruise control set on 35.” – Mr. Skolnick

”we’ve got bush” -Booger

“Hi I'm Polly the Penis. And I just love to have fun. Ha Ha Ha.” - Tommy Turner

“Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things: Jack and shit... and Jack just left town”. -Ash

”Alright you primitive screw heads, listen up!  You see this?  This is my boomstick!” -Ash

“So long gay boys” - Mr. Chow 

“Nazis. I hate these guys.” 

“Snakes. Why’d it have to be snakes?”

 

 

 

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