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Lulz, Wimberley bank robbery

Beau Vine

By Beau Vine
in Daily Texan

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Beau Vine

Beau Vine 54429

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Today, June 20, 2019 at approximately 9:16 am, an armed robbery occurred at the Broadway Bank located off of 14710 Ranch Road 12 Wimberley, Texas approximately one hour ago. The suspect entered the bank wearing a gray hoodie, a flesh colored mask, blue jeans, wearing a tan or grayish baseball cap, and carrying a black bag. He was also wearing black gloves and was armed with a black handgun with a green stripe on the top of it. The suspect was last seen running towards the field north of the bank in heavy brush.

If you see someone matching this description or you may recognize the suspect, call 9-1-1 immediately. Do not approach the suspect. He is to be considered armed and dangerous.

In true Wimberley fashion, the bank robber was disguised as an old white guy:

65308319_2295811543807728_12025066142763

Edited by Beau Vine
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RollLeft

RollLeft 5045

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1 hour ago, Beau Vine said:

In true Wimberley fashion, the bank robber was disguised as an old white guy:

65308319_2295811543807728_12025066142763

Well, by those shoes, jeans, man purse and tight rubber wristwatch we can eliminate all black and hispanics and with great certainty assume he's a middle aged white guy.  Also that gait looks like non athlete all the way.  I'd say he's a Bob or Robert for sure.

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Beau Vine

Beau Vine 54429

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No shit, the jeans and shoes look exactly like me.  But I'd rather get arrested than wear a hoodie in this weather.

The word "Wimberley" also eliminated all blacks.  Notice the phrase "flesh colored mask" in the police release?

Edited by Beau Vine
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jimmyjazz

jimmyjazz 46130

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17 minutes ago, housious said:

Who robs a bank in Wimberly? Grow up, dude

Well, more likely than not Barney Fife is off rescuing a kitten in a tree on the other side of the county because the sheriff and his crew are all busy leading the procession  for Helen Crump's funeral.  Sounds like a good idea to me.

EDIT:  I swear to God I didn't see phdhorn's Mayberry takeoff before posting my reply.  Damn, you gotta be fast around here.

Edited by jimmyjazz
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housious

housious 468

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1 minute ago, jimmyjazz said:

Well, more likely than not Barney Fife is off rescuing a kitten in a tree on the other side of the county because the sheriff and his crew are all busy leading the wake for Helen Crump's funeral.  Sounds like a good idea to me.

EDIT:  I swear to God I didn't see phdhorn's Mayberry takeoff before posting my reply.  Damn, you gotta be fast around here.

Where'd you get the mask?

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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9 hours ago, Beau Vine said:

No shit, the jeans and shoes look exactly like me.  But I'd rather get arrested than wear a hoodie in this weather.

The word "Wimberley" also eliminated all blacks.  Notice the phrase "flesh colored mask" in the police release?

Which Jerky Boys call was it where the guy asks him, "And what color is it?"  And the Jerky Boy guys replies in his gay voice, "Flesh."  

And yeah, that doesn't look like a bank.  That looks like the lobby of a Days Inn.  Just to his left is the "all you can eat complimentary breakfast."  

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Beau Vine

Beau Vine 54429

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Yes, this actually is a bank and not a mobile home: 

The Hays County Sheriffs Office has released a video of the Broadway Bank robbery in Wimberley on June 20. 

The video shows the robber with a gun pointed at multiple bank employees riffling through cash drawers. It also shows a vehicle that suspected of being used in conjunction with the robbery. 

The Texas  Bankers  Foundation  has  offered  a  $5,000  reward  for information  that would  lead  to  the arrest  and  indictment  of the individual  who  robbed  the Broadway Bank  branch  in  Wimberley  on  June 20. If  you  have  information  regarding  this  incident,  identity  of  persons,  whereabouts, etc.,  please  contact  emergency  communications  at  512-393-7896  or  Detective  Chase Crow  at  chase.crow@co.hays.tx.us  or  512-393-7814. 

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wood

wood 11267

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On 6/20/2019 at 2:11 PM, Beau Vine said:

Alright ya' hayseeds, it's a stick-up. Everybody freeze. Everybody down on the ground.

 

On 6/20/2019 at 6:54 PM, futureman said:

well which is it, young feller?

 You want I should freeze or get down on the ground? Mean to say, if'n I freeze, I can't rightly drop. And if'n I drop, I'ma gonna be in motion. You see...

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MAROON

MAROON 445

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11 hours ago, Trey3216 said:

Holy shit!!! Is that a pellet pistol!!!???

Beretta Neos 22 caliber (Cabela's addition).  Local law dawgs just have to grab a list of who bought that ugly thing from the Buda location.  He better lite out for the territory pronto.

 

33333.jpg

Edited by MAROON
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ShaggyBevo RIP

ShaggyBevo RIP 3868

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1 hour ago, MAROON said:

Beretta Neos 22 caliber (Cabela's addition).  Local law dawgs just have to grab a list of who bought that ugly thing from the Buda location.  He better lite out for the territory pronto.

 

33333.jpg

Add to it the Cannon hat if that is the logo for Cannon offshore fishing gear. Whatever embroidery is on the bag at the 57 sec mark isn't a standard logo either.

Edited by ShaggyBevo RIP
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4th and 5

4th and 5 4915

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1 hour ago, MAROON said:

Beretta Neos 22 caliber (Cabela's addition).  Local law dawgs just have to grab a list of who bought that ugly thing from the Buda location.  He better lite out for the territory pronto.

 

33333.jpg

You’ve cracked the case right here on surly, while they’re working in shifts!

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bolverk

bolverk 29717

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On 6/20/2019 at 1:46 PM, RollLeft said:

Well, by those shoes, jeans, man purse and tight rubber wristwatch we can eliminate all black and hispanics and with great certainty assume he's a middle aged white guy.  Also that gait looks like non athlete all the way.  I'd say he's a Bob or Robert for sure.

After reviewing the cam footage, I'm calling my shot. That's either MIA or hayden but most likely the latter since he lives so far down south.

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hayden_horn

hayden_horn 11365

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2 hours ago, bolverk said:

After reviewing the cam footage, I'm calling my shot. That's either MIA or hayden but most likely the latter since he lives so far down south.

i'm wearing a pair of wranglers and blue sneakers at this very moment. i'm lacking the manpurse and wristwatch, though. also, i was at work on a call at the time of the robbery. so it couldn't have been me. @MissingInAction i'd believe though.

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RollLeft

RollLeft 5045

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2 hours ago, bolverk said:

After reviewing the cam footage, I'm calling my shot. That's either MIA or hayden but most likely the latter since he lives so far down south.

I was thinking Slorch but we learned in his most recent thread that he may be black.

Edited by RollLeft
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bolverk

bolverk 29717

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11 minutes ago, RollLeft said:

I was thinking Slorch but we learned in his most recent thread that he is in fact a black.

Slorch lives in Amarillo now, robbing various various hayseed S&Ls around the Panhandle, with Chad Briscoe as his sidekick.

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