Help me evict a family

[Mr. Blutarsky 133]

...of racoons. I've suspected that we had something living under our deck for a while and around 5 this morning I got my proof as I watched a family of six racoons make their way under our deck. I don't want them hurt, but with an almost two year old who is obsessed with the backyard and his little brother joining us next week, I'd rather not have them squatting at our place. 

I wouldn't mind live trapping them, but I'd like to keep them together and trapping all six at once could prove daunting.  Any thought?

[Kennythetiger 9417]

Man, good luck. They’re a pain in the ass. You can use a catch-em-alive trap, but that’s a one-by-one process and they’ll tear the hell out of the trap. Can you borrow someone’s dog for a while?  Maybe the dog will bother the coons enough that they’ll move on. 

[Jkwellborn 6717]

You’re gonna get someone’s dog fucked up. Coons are mean as hell when they have to be. Tough as fuck too. You can get some Dukes traps. They’re fairly inexpensive and pet safe. If you want to get rid of them all at once, you’d have to keep them in a cage until you caught them all

[Mr. Blutarsky 133]

^Thanks guys. I'm leaning towards setting something up to drive them out while I add some metal edging to the base of the deck. The issue is that the best thing I've found so far is an ultrasonic repeller that I'm afraid would get to the neighbor's dogs.

[UTPhil2006 3808]

You're gonna need to call up a raccoon sheriff and have them served.  

[RPM 26330]

Words of experience here. Get a live trap and a can of cat food. Problem solved.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21913]

Ask Star-Lord to come get them

[Errestaurants 2570]

Hope the OP videos his encounter for us cause it probably going to happen like this

 

[Clintonaldo 2576]

Momma used to chase them off with a broom. 

[housious 468]

.22 rifle

if you live in a neighborhood, get a good pellet gun 

[Mr. Blutarsky 133]

3 hours ago, Errestaurants said:

Hope the OP videos his encounter for us cause it probably going to happen like this

 

I'm 98% sure this is what will happen. 

[4th and 5 4915]

 

Cat food, haveaheart trap, gamo pellet gun in the face, rinse, repeat.

 

[Homercles 10206]

Hope the OP videos his encounter for us cause it probably going to happen like this
 

Shorts and boots, good choice

[RexWilson 1348]

Even Jack Jack had a tough time getting rid of a raccoon.

 

[Soldierhorn 206]

why is this hard? 

a live trap with stinky food (tuna, sardines, cat food, etc), take them to the lake one by one, and release them at the same spot in the late evening. 

or a .22 and stew pot

Edited June 24, 2019 by Soldierhorn

[Deej 76873]

7 minutes ago, Soldierhorn said:

why is this hard? 

a live trap with stinky food (tuna, sardines, cat food, etc), put them in a gunnysack with some rocks, take them out on the lake, and drop them in the lake.  or a .22 and stew pot

fify

Edited June 24, 2019 by Deej

[Soldierhorn 206]

.22 and a pot...

... and an anniversary gift for the wife

 

Edited June 24, 2019 by Soldierhorn

[ztejas 43526]

6 minutes ago, Deej said:

fify

Raccoon Charlie? Yeah, I knows where he is. He's swimmin with the fishes. 

[Mr. Blutarsky 133]

The big thing for me is time, I have a wife who's been on bed rest for the last month and going in for a c-section on Wednesday for boy number two. His big brother is a shade under two and is obsessed with playing in the backyard. If it were up to me, I'd wait until I could live trap them and take them out to the boonies, but I'm burning the candle on both ends right now. An ultrasonic repeller  will be arriving tomorrow and I'll leave it setup on the deck for a week or so until I'm certain that the critters have vacated, then I'll run a metal border along the base of the deck to make sure they know that they're persona non grata. 

[Soldierhorn 206]

coons are not hard to catch. I've been doin' it since I was a kid with home made live traps.  You could have them all caught in less than a week. Matter of fact, you could have had them all caught since starting this thread.  

FYI... I have an ultrasonic repeller and I havent noticed it doing much good at all but I may have gotten a bad model, IDK

Edited June 24, 2019 by Soldierhorn

[RPM 26330]

Pro Tip: Secure the can of cat food with a piece of wire so they cant reach in, drag it to one side and eat the bait outside the trap. 

[woohorn 1131]

 take them to the lake one by one, and release them at the same spot in the late evening.

Better pray that no one out by the lake sees you droppin' em off.

LOVE threads like this where OP asks q and then ignores all responses in favor of something twice as expensive that has zero chance of working.

How about this: spend the treefiddy to hire a pest control company to do all the work for you for and treefiddy for a handyman to close up the space under the deck.

[Soldierhorn 206]

11 minutes ago, woohorn said:

Better pray that no one out by the lake sees you droppin' em off.

 

yeah, some people are that way. 

but anyplace with water will work: reliable creek, river, lake, camp ben mcCulloch... whatever.  I'm sure OP drives over or near some type of waterway at some point for him to have the critters to begin with. 

Edited June 24, 2019 by Soldierhorn

[Jkwellborn 6717]

Has no one suggested that you get your husband to do it? Surely is slippin

[NotActuallyALonghorn 4976]

Use a have-a-heart, but put a conibear ar the entrance. Also, dropping them off in the woods I usually a death sentence anyways. Might as well toss the trap in the shallow part of the lake for a few minutes.

[Jkwellborn 6717]

Why do you say dropping them off in the woods is a death sentence? They’re not bobcats or wolves. They’ll be fine.

[NotActuallyALonghorn 4976]

Not that I care too much about the raccoons, but when you release them in a strange area there are several things stacked against them. 

-They are in an unfamiliar area and don't know where to seek shelter, escape predators or find food.

-They are in another raccoon's territory who does know all of those things. This raccoon is probably pissed that these knew loser trash pandas showed up in his territory and is ready to fight.

-Urban raccoons are used to seeking shelter in urban settings (storm sewers, under your house, etc.) and finding food in urban settings (your trash, duh). Dropping them off in the woods is like taking a person who grew up in the city and has never even been camping and dropping them off in the wilderness. Why would you expect them to do well?

Animals who get transplanted, especially to drastically different settings, usually end up either dead or travelling large distances (like 30 or more miles even) before they settle in. It's better to just put a .22 in the back of their head after you trap them and not worry about it. The babies are probably going to die anyways because of the stresses of relocation if that is what you are worried about.

[Post Oak 20254]

Please record yourself.

[immortal13 4059]

4 hours ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

Not that I care too much about the raccoons, but when you release them in a strange area there are several things stacked against them. 

-They are in an unfamiliar area and don't know where to seek shelter, escape predators or find food.

-They are in another raccoon's territory who does know all of those things. This raccoon is probably pissed that these knew loser trash pandas showed up in his territory and is ready to fight.

-Urban raccoons are used to seeking shelter in urban settings (storm sewers, under your house, etc.) and finding food in urban settings (your trash, duh). Dropping them off in the woods is like taking a person who grew up in the city and has never even been camping and dropping them off in the wilderness. Why would you expect them to do well?

Animals who get transplanted, especially to drastically different settings, usually end up either dead or travelling large distances (like 30 or more miles even) before they settle in. It's better to just put a .22 in the back of their head after you trap them and not worry about it. The babies are probably going to die anyways because of the stresses of relocation if that is what you are worried about.

No

[NotActuallyALonghorn 4976]

Never mind! Disregard scientific studies that have shown high mortality rates for relocated pest animals! Listen to the uneducated guy whose job depends on convincing people that those animals he traps and removes do just fine! Science is a liar sometimes!

imgur

[Errestaurants 2570]

Gotta love Surly. Can't even agree on how to get rid of sum raccoons. 

Get some dog proof z traps from duke's. Chain the trap to a post stuck in the ground. Set the bitch. Bait with some sardines. I promise you will catch all of them. Now you have to go get your husband and do the reaper shit. Dispose of the coons. 

Raccoons completely obliterated my corn crop so I declared war. Caught over 20 raccoons over a week. Also caught some trying to get in my chicken coop. Tied a dead one to the coop door to warn their friends to stay away. 

[El Diablo 4232]

What's a natural predator for raccoons? Get one of those. Or a husband.

[NotActuallyALonghorn 4976]

Sounds like he needs to trap Errestaurants and set him loose in the yard.

[Fuck Tim Beck 3834]

Trap the coons then drop them off with the dudes grilling on the road at s. Congress and Ben white. 

Or at any homeless camp under any bridge. They will be happy to have them. 

[NotActuallyALonghorn 4976]

Don't forget about the asian buffets!

[Soldierhorn 206]

8 hours ago, Errestaurants said:

Get some dog proof z traps from duke's. Chain the trap to a post stuck in the ground. Set the bitch. Bait with some sardines. I promise you will catch all of them. Now you have to go get your husband and do the reaper shit. Dispose of the coons. 

Good stuff.  For a first time user, I would go with the dog proof trap. I you paid more than $15, you paid too much. z traps are great in the right spots but they tend to catch a higher variety of critters: those that can push and/or pull the trigger. pretty much any animal with small enough paws can push and set off the trap, including cats and some dogs.  Pulling a trigger is more difficult unless you have fingers, which is what you are going for.  animals with hands/fingers are coons, possums, and skunks.  I would use sardine juice around the trap and on the post/tree but inside the trap use cat or dog food kibble.  coons like kibble and kibble is less likely to screw up your mechanisms on your trap.  

[Kennythetiger 9417]

 

[ztejas 43526]

22 hours ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

Never mind! Disregard scientific studies that have shown high mortality rates for relocated pest animals! Listen to the uneducated guy whose job depends on convincing people that those animals he traps and removes do just fine! Science is a liar sometimes!

 

 

Raccoons are annoyingly smart. I think of all "pest animals" they'd probably be the most likely to figure it out wherever you dropped them off. 

Or, like you said, you could just shoot them. 

[immortal13 4059]

59 minutes ago, ztejas said:

Raccoons are annoyingly smart. I think of all "pest animals" they'd probably be the most likely to figure it out wherever you dropped them off. 

Or, like you said, you could just shoot them. 

This. Raccoons are a scavenger/predator animal and they are highly resourceful. They are not going to die from being relocated from an urban environment to a wilderness area. That is just fucking stupid

[NotActuallyALonghorn 4976]

So when biologists do studies where they do exactly that with trackers on them they just happen to get the retarded ones each time? It's not like relocating wildlife isn't a subject that hasn't been the focus of scientific studies. Raccoons do better than squirrels or rabbits or other animals with their eyes on the sides of their heads, but if they were that smart more people would have them as pets.

[El Diablo 4232]

54 minutes ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

So when biologists do studies where they do exactly that with trackers on them they just happen to get the retarded ones each time? It's not like relocating wildlife isn't a subject that hasn't been the focus of scientific studies. Raccoons do better than squirrels or rabbits or other animals with their eyes on the sides of their heads, but if they were that smart more people would have them as pets.

I'm not going to argue the basic premise of your post but what does being smart have to do with achieving pet status or desirability? Plenty of dumb ass critters get kept as pets. Snakes, fish, turtles, gerbils etc...

[ztejas 43526]

1 hour ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

So when biologists do studies where they do exactly that with trackers on them they just happen to get the retarded ones each time? It's not like relocating wildlife isn't a subject that hasn't been the focus of scientific studies. Raccoons do better than squirrels or rabbits or other animals with their eyes on the sides of their heads, but if they were that smart more people would have them as pets.

You need to cite something. All I could find was that the issue with relocating raccoons is that they will simply find somewhere else to fuck up someone's garbage or they will get in fights with resident raccoons. Nothing about them not being able to acclimate to a different environment. 

(Not saying they have a good survival rate after relocation - just that I don't think the issue is their intelligence or adaptability)

Also, people do keep raccoons as pets. The issue is that, well first of all they aren't domesticated, second of all they are little assholes. A raccoon isn't going to be docile in it's cage or protect your family. It's going to drink your bourbon and stay up late watching skinimax.

 

 

Edited June 26, 2019 by ztejas

[NotActuallyALonghorn 4976]

You can just Google "nuisance wildlife translocation mortality." What I've said is pretty much universally accepted in the scientific community. Arguing otherwise is basically the equivalent of arguing the earth is flat or that cigarettes cure lung cancer.

Downside risk of wildlife translocation

R Chipman, D Slate, Christine Rupprecht, M Mendoza

Translocation has been used successfully by wildlife professionals to enhance or reintroduce populations of rare or extirpated wildlife, provide hunting or wildlife viewing opportunities, farm wild game, and reduce local human-wildlife conflicts. However, accidental and intentional translocations may have multiple unintended negative consequences, including increased stress and mortality of relocated animals, negative impacts on resident animals at release sites, increased conflicts with human interests, and the spread of diseases. Many wildlife professionals now question the practice of translocation, particularly in light of the need to contain or eliminate high profile, economically important wildlife diseases and because using this technique may jeopardize international wildlife disease management initiatives to control rabies in raccoons, coyotes, and foxes in North America. Incidents have been documented where specific rabies variants (Texas gray fox, canine variant in coyotes, and raccoon) have been moved well beyond their current range as a result of translocation, including the emergence of raccoon rabies in the eastern United States. Here, we review and discuss the substantial challenges of curtailing translocation in the USA, focusing on movement of animals by the public, nuisance wildlife control operators, and wildlife rehabilitators."

 

Survival and movements of translocated raccoons in northcentral Illinois

 

"Maia Mosillo, Edward J Heske, John D Thompson

The Journal of wildlife management, 278-286, 1999

Translocation of nuisance raccoons (Procyon lotor) is a common practice, but the fates of translocated animals after release are not known. We monitored postrelease survival rates and dispersal of radiocollared raccoons that were trapped as nuisance wildlife in suburban Chicago and translocated to a rural forest preserve (translocated urban), trapped in another wooded area and translocated to the forest preserve (translocated rural), and trapped and released in the forest preserve that served as the release site for the translocations (resident). Thirty-one raccoons were radiotracked in autumn 1993, and 45 were radiotracked in autumn 1994. We detected no differences in survival rates among the 3 treatment groups (P > 0.05). Resident raccoons tended to remain in the vicinity of the release site, whereas translocated raccoons left the release site within hours to days and dispersed into the surrounding area. Dispersing raccoons had high daily movement rates for the first 2 weeks postrelease but then seemed to establish new home ranges. Translocated raccoons frequently denned near human residences and in agricultural fields, whereas resident raccoons denned primarily in the forest preserve. Because translocated raccoons survived well, translocation could be an effective way to supplement depleted or reestablish extirpated populations of this species. However, translocating large numbers of raccoons for animal damage control could cause problems for other wildlife and human residents near release sites, and translocated animals could serve as vectors for wildlife diseases during zoonotic outbreaks."

 

So none of the raccoons died, but they did observe high rates of dispersion for about two weeks for the groups analogous to what is being discussed here. High rates of dispersion are not conducive to the survival of baby raccoons and their mother. The babies likely die. There's also still the issue of disease and the fact that urban raccoons resettled near humans, so you are effectively just giving someone else your problems.

 

usda ws directive 2.501

 

"In some situations, it is beneficial to translocate wildlife. 
Decisions to translocate wildlife should be made based on 
biological, ecological, economic, and social considerations. 
Primary factors influencing translocation include availability of 
suitable habitat, impact (competition, predation, etc.) on the 
animal(s) to be moved as well as other species, the likelihood of 
the animal returning, public attitudes, and potential for 
creating a damage/conflict situation at the new location. 
Translocation of wild mammals is not a biologically sound 
practice in many situations. Considerable stress can be placed 
on relocated animals during handling and transportation. 
Difficulty in adapting to new locations or habitats may also 
reduce survival rates. Studies indicate that surviving animals 
seldom remain at the release location. There may also be 
problems associated with liability to the WS program if the 
translocated animal causes future damage or transmits a zoonotic 
disease. 
The American Veterinary Medical Association, the National Association of State Public Health Veterinarians, and the Council 
of State and Territorial Epidemiologists oppose relocation of 
mammals because of the risk of disease transmission among wild 
mammals (especially raccoons, skunks, foxes, and cervids)."

[Errestaurants 2570]

This shit is greatness. Going to become a classic I suspect. All we need is a video from the OP when shit goes down. 

[retread 2951]

Or when he adopts the family and tries to domesticate them.

[Soldierhorn 206]

This logic is interesting: go ahead and execute the vermin because they MIGHT have a hard time adapting in another place.  LOL  classic.  Do the coons get a vote on what they would prefer? 

Edited June 26, 2019 by Soldierhorn

[immortal13 4059]

So the quoted source said the survivability rates were good. Ok bro

[NotActuallyALonghorn 4976]

On 6/25/2019 at 7:05 AM, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

Animals who get transplanted, especially to drastically different settings, usually end up either dead or travelling large distances (like 30 or more miles even) before they settle in. It's better to just put a .22 in the back of their head after you trap them and not worry about it. The babies are probably going to die anyways because of the stresses of relocation if that is what you are worried about.

Your response to this was "No." Either you failed to adequately to read the sources or you failed to adequately read my post. 

[ztejas 43526]

I was going to make another comment then I realized that we're arguing about the mortality rate of relocating raccoons from urban areas.

 

[Errestaurants 2570]

4 minutes ago, ztejas said:

I was going to make another comment then I realized that we're arguing about the mortality rate of relocating raccoons from urban areas.

 

Lol. No please keep going! This is really happening.