There is no way I come from your loins.

[tejas60 3534]

This happens every time one of these floozies starts poontangin' around with those show folk fags.

 

[BigDHornfan 6550]

On 7/3/2019 at 2:27 PM, TwiceHorn said:

Daddy my hat blew off.

I hope your god damn head was in it!

[Augustus 3061]

In the mid 70's, my step dad bought a plastic--plastic-- fake fireplace.  You rolled it up against the wall and plugged it in.

It had a thick plastic or poly-something cylinder that turned around a tiny light bulb, casting orange/yellow light around the room, emulating the glow of a roaring fire.

Our Christmas stockings hung from that bad boy until 1979 when my mom thankfully divorced him and we moved in with her parents, who had a real fireplace with actual burning wood.

 

I win.

[CoTex 1162]

1 hour ago, Augustus said:

In the mid 70's, my step dad bought a plastic--plastic-- fake fireplace.  You rolled it up against the wall and plugged it in.

It had a thick plastic or poly-something cylinder that turned around a tiny light bulb, casting orange/yellow light around the room, emulating the glow of a roaring fire.

Our Christmas stockings hung from that bad boy until 1979 when my mom thankfully divorced him and we moved in with her parents, who had a real fireplace with actual burning wood.

 

I win.

I'm pretty sure my mother-in-law has purchased one of those more recently, say... within the past 10 years. 

 

I thought this thread might deliver me from some shame.  It has yet to deliver.

[Incredulity 11683]

I love this thread, hard.

[Sandman 3412]

On 7/12/2019 at 1:38 PM, Augustus said:

In the mid 70's, my step dad bought a plastic--plastic-- fake fireplace.  You rolled it up against the wall and plugged it in.

It had a thick plastic or poly-something cylinder that turned around a tiny light bulb, casting orange/yellow light around the room, emulating the glow of a roaring fire.

Our Christmas stockings hung from that bad boy until 1979 when my mom thankfully divorced him and we moved in with her parents, who had a real fireplace with actual burning wood.

 

I win.

We lived in an apartment (military housing) when I grew up and we didn't have a fireplace. So I never had a stocking at christmas time. Fast forward many years and I'm at my parents house and my mom is decorating for christmas and she's at the fireplace, putting up stockings for my nephew and niece. I told my mom, WTF we never had stockings before (and didn't get one now), what gives? She just kind of mumbled something like "Yeah, you had such a hard life, I guess". My parents are/were great but that always stuck in my craw. My niece and nephew turned out to be total fucking losers, so I guess I got the last laugh. 

[SHOOTER12 8828]

On 7/3/2019 at 2:08 PM, 'stache said:

Tell us more about your mom's pussy.

It's not fancy anymore?

[Blotto 23574]

On 7/3/2019 at 11:24 PM, boknowstecmo said:

You're embarrassed to be your mother's son because she named her cat Fancy? What are you, a character in the Sopranos? 

 

On 7/3/2019 at 11:54 PM, CoTex said:

Fantasy fuckstick.  Fancy was the nickname.

The cat's full name was Fantasy Fuckstick? Sounds more like a fleshlight.